A/N: So I still don't own Avatar...oh well...

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Some music: Suikoden 2 opening and Reminiscence Strings Version

Chapter 5

Sometimes I feel like I'm watching myself...and it terrifies me...

The tightrope walker has a dangerous job,walk across a tight rope from point A to point B without falling from great heights. One false move and a life is gambled between life and death.

The great heights weren't always there though,I had to practice my balance from mere inches off the ground before being up hundreds of feet. Even from the inches I'd lose my balance and fall to the ground but there was always something there to help me back up and I always kept trying.

Eventually I moved on from the inches and went up 9ft where just below me was a large trampoline,that way if I fell I'd literally bounce back and not get hurt. There were a few mess ups but I kept at it and eventually moved up form 9 ft to 12 ft. Each time I went up a little more there was always some sort of support underneath to help me in case I messed up and fell.

I never did this alone,there was always someone there helping me,supporting me,making sure I was ok when I fell even if it was only from the inches. I was taught to think things through before acting but sometimes just like on the tightrope I would mess up and fall. My mess ups never stopped me though,I had the drive to be successful...

I became so great at it that I finally reached my peek at one hundred and fifty feet. The crowds came from afar to see me walk the rope. There was only one flaw in the act,the net that would catch me if I fell was not there,I didn't check before but when I realized it,it was too late. I didn't want to disappoint the weary travelers that came to see me so I gathered all of the confidence within myself and started to walk,arms out to keep my balance. I didn't think to look for support and now I could plunge to my death because of it,my nerves got the better of me as I reached the center of the rope.

"Almost there..." I said to myself,looking onward to my destination.

The crowd gasped as I slipped slightly,but I was all right and kept going. I broke a sweat,a cold nervous sweat. My heart pounded and all I could think about was getting to the other side safely. I was only inches away by this point and I sighed in some relief and started to feel light headed. One more step and I would have been fine...

But I slipped once more and plunged to the ground,what was mere seconds felt like eternity to me as I fell to the ground. I didn't scream,I couldn't,it felt so unreal,this couldn't be happening,it was only a dream...or was it? No...this was real...by the time I hit the ground no other thought went through my mind. Every bone in my body was shattered and blood seeped out of the cracks in my skull. My eyes were wide open and my lifeless form stared up at the great heights I fell from.

"NO!" I sat up quickly in a cold sweat, it was only a dream. Here I am once again, just a day before we go to Omashu.

I've had this dream before, being back at the circus, walking my tightrope and performing all of my acrobatic stunts to thrill the hundreds that would fill the tent each night. Every time I would dream it, it would all end the same way, I would watch myself fall to my death and I would wake up terrified and alone. I wish I knew what it meant. I thought I needed a career change, taking Azula's aggressive methods of persuasion as a huge sign that my dream would come true in time if I did nothing about it. But I kept having the dream even after leaving with her to help capture her brother and uncle. Even soon after tracking down the Avatar I would still have this horrible dream. However, in certain cases it would end differently, even with out the net being below me I would fall into a warm place feeling safe and blissful.
Sometimes...

"Did you have the dream again?" Her low voice would say to me in a groggy fashion.
"Go back to sleep baby girl..." I smiled at her as she slid her arm around me and kissed my cheek.
"Did you?" She asked again a little more firmly this time, opening her golden eyes wider.
"Yes." I sighed in defeat. Even when she was half asleep she managed to be in control of every situation put before her.

She smiled at me and kissed me tenderly before turning over to face the other way. Now that I was awake, and knew that she was as well, I couldn't very well just go back to sleep. Especially after a nightmare like that. That was always my excuse and it always worked. Wrapping my arms around her I allowed my right hand to move freely down her torso. She breathed in heavily and I could hear her try to suppress a moan.

"Right now?" She giggled while trying to keep her walls of seriousness between us.
"Are you questioning your princess?" I knew her well to know she really liked role reversal and I played it to my advantage all the time. Well...privately.
"Never." She said trying to sound timid and obedient, which she really wasn't good at, but that's why we call it pretending. It was cute to see her try.

Still with her eyes closed she smiled a little wider now and gently placed her hand on mine, moving up my arm searching for my abdomen. Taking her hand away I pinned it back behind her which made her move onto her back as I lead a trail of bites and kisses up and down her neck and breasts. I could feel her breathing quick and heavy beneath me, gently letting out subtle moans as I explored with her further. The deeper I found myself within her the more I felt connected to her not only physically but spiritually. Our auras tied together like an unbreakable chain linked with heated desire, passion and dare I say it, love. Even with all of the passion in the world and all of the bliss she seemed to be enduring her nervousness stuck out. It seemed my princess was a virgin still.

"Shh...it's ok. I'm here..it's ok...it's ok...hush...I'm here.." I soothed her fragile nerves as I whispered softly into her ear, kissing her temple softly, "I've got you."

That got through to her and she relaxed enough to let me continue, she let me have my way with her. Sweat beaded down my back as she held me close to her, both of us breathless, but not too tired to keep going longer and stronger. Eventually she took control and straddled on top of me, looking down at me smiling proudly thinking of what she would do next, and like a tiger she purred fiercely and seductively, making me get goose-bumps all over anticipating her every move. Although she was still shy at first she had no problem warming up with a few bites and kisses around my neck while she hands explored my body. She gave off more body heat than anyone I had ever known, her fiery touch made me moan and move wildly beneath her. Silencing me with a deep and passionate kiss she entered me from below and as she moved in and out delicately I found myself never wanting to leave her embrace. Ever. All of my nightmares and bad memories of the past were flushed away in that one moment. That one moment where I was whole. I held her closely to me and said so softly, I wasn't sure if she even heard me through our heavy breaths and subtle moans...

"I love you Azula..."

Pulling away from me she laid back breathless, not taking her eyes off mine she panted for a bit and then leaned in for one final kiss. I leaned up to meet her and as we kissed out hands linked and her fingers fell between mine like a perfect fit.

"I love you more." She said as she pulled me against her warm body once again.

My head fell against her collarbone and I held onto her so tightly I still regret letting her go to this day...

To this day...I still regret letting her go.

It has been days since Azula disappeared from the abandoned mining town that we stopped to rest at. I am worried about her, before we went to sleep that night she was hurting. Knowing that she's hurt and knowing that she is alone right now scares me so much. Like the tightrope, with out any support or a net to fall in the one taking a huge risk is risking their life. No one understood that more than me. Azula was already on a tightrope of her own, being sent on a journey of self discovery. Now she's abandoned her support and I know she will still need it.
When I woke up to find her missing I searched all over the town, hoping to find her just wandering around, no such luck. So with very little choice I sent a message hawk to the Fire Lord and Lady hoping to get some help, until I hear back I will continue my search for Azula...my princess.