Wisdom

Borrow money from a pessimist, they don't expect it back

Joxer lay asleep with his daughter beside him clutching onto him as always as Gabrielle lay beside her. The girl awoke and took her hands off of Joxer and put them around Gabrielle. Gabrielle knew that this was Amerielle's attempt to put Joxer and Gabrielle together but she allowed it. It was nice for Gabrielle to have a child clutching to her like this. Gabrielle fell asleep as the child's face lay inches from Gabrielle.

The next morning Xena awoke first surprised to see Gabrielle and Amerielle clutching each other asleep. Xena thought to herself, 'That child could steal any heart.' Gabrielle opened her eyes hearing Xena move around. She escaped Amerielle's clutches who while still asleep turned over and grabbed onto Joxer.

Xena asked suspecting something was up, "What are you going to do?"

Gabrielle replied, "I don't know."

Xena touched the bard's shoulder, looking in her eyes as she said, "You would make a great mother to her."

Gabrielle looked over at the sleeping little girl as she replied, "I would like to try."

Xena said, "But?"

Gabreille asked inquisitively, "What do you think about Joxer and me?"

Xena didn't think so, but she was trying to reassure the bard as she stated, "It could be done."

Gabrielle replied immediately, "What? No of course not."

Xena put her hands on her hips as asked, "Why did you ask me then if your mind was made up?"

Gabrielle replied amazed by her own words, "Because I could see it to. As much as I don't want to admit it, I know he's a good man and will need a woman to be a mother to Amerielle."

Xena then said, "Why don't you? I know you'd love to have another chance at motherhood. You deserve it."

"So do you," Replied Gabrielle

Xena said, "Me and Joxer is like Ares and Aphrodite."

Gabrielle replied with a smile, "Cupid is the son of both of them you know."

Xena replied disgusted, "I wish you hadn't told me that. Look what I'm trying to say is that me and Joxer are an impossible match. Hell, I don't think he'd live through the relationship."

Gabrielle replied joking, "No one else seems to."

Xena was not laughing as Gabrielle felt a bit embarrassed as she said, "I'm sorry."

Xena said, "Its ok. I just want you to make a decision and be happy with it. If it's me your worried about, I'm not going away. Not this time. If you settle down with Joxer or anyone else I'm going to be there. Maybe that will make it easier for you."

Gabrielle nodded and hugged Xena tightly. Joxer awoke, he turn to his daughter and woke her up. She of course fought it, but it was time to wake up.

Later at the breakfast table they were all eating when Amerielle said, "So, Gabrielle. Wouldn't daddy be just wonderful for you?"

Gabrielle nearly choked on her food as Joxer said to Amerielle, "Hey quit that."

Regaining her composure Gabrielle said, "Your dad is a wonderful man."

Amerielle then said, "But you won't take him?"

She turned to Xena saying, "What about you?" Joxer went white with fear.

Xena raised an eyebrow at the bold girl as she said, "No, I wouldn't make a good mother for you. Nor could I be Joxer's wife. I know you want someone to be a mother to you and make you dad happy but you can't force these things."

Amerielle pouted, "Why not? All mother needed was a few words and any man would be kissing her and stuff. They'd never stay around. Most of them were creeps." They all knew that Amerielle was referring to her mother being a prostitute though it was clear that Amerielle didn't know or understand that.

Xena was about to say something when Joxer said clutching onto Amerielle, "Amerielle, honey. That was different. You know I'll take could care of you, right?"

Amerielle turned her green eyes in Joxer's direction as she replied, "But I want you to be happy daddy."

Joxer's heart was warmed by the thought as he said, "Thank you honey, but you make me happy enough, don't worry about daddy." Soon after that they finished eating.

Joxer was walking along with Xena while Gabrielle was playing with Amerielle. Xena said, "Gabrielle loves that child. But…" Joxer interjected, "But she doesn't love me. She wants to be the girl's mother but it would not be healthy. This means that I've got to talk to her. Make her understand if I can."

Xena replied with a smile, "How'd you get so wise?"

Joxer replied looking at Xena but not in front of him, "Fatherhood does that right?" Joxer tripped on a stick as Xena looked at him fall.

Xena helped him up as she fought a chuckle, "It done something alright. Ok listen. You've got the right idea but you've never been good with talking to Gabrielle. If you tell her that she can't be the child's mother because she don't love, she libel to knock you out. You've got to ease into it. Make her think about life like that. Talk about what it would be like years into it. She might see more clearly that way."

Joxer asked, "OK, but what if she won't listen?"

With a stern look Xena said, "Then you're going to have to get a place big enough for the four of us because I won't leave her side. Not after everything we've been through."

8

Gabrielle was smiling and laughing. All this felt so wonderful to her. Maybe she could do this. But what about Joxer? She couldn't come up with an answer. All she knew was that she wanted to be this girl's mother. She wanted to be a mother which was the real problem. Joxer began to approach her as Gabrielle sent Amerielle running off to Xena.

Amerielle said to Joxer, "Good luck daddy. I think I softened her up for you."

She ran on before Joxer could say anything. Joxer said, "Gab, we've got to talk."

Gabrielle then said, "What if I lived with you. You know separate rooms. But we could both be in her life."

Joxer replied trying to speed the conversation along, "I don't know."

Gabrielle keep saying almost longingly, "We'd find a way to get along."

Joxer said, "Gabby listen to me. Think about a year from now. Us living together but not together. Think about what we'd be putting ourselves in. It would almost be a loveless marriage except for the fact we wouldn't even be married."

Gabrielle shot him a double take, "What are you saying?"

Joxer said, "I'm trying to see it wouldn't be healthy for either of us, Or Amerielle. How is she going to know what a real meaningful relationship is if this is what she sees?"

Gabrielle wasn't, "I could teach her."

Joxer touched the bards hands as he said, "You would be a wonderful teacher, but how much more do you think she will learn from observation then she will from words."

Gabrielle's eyes narrowed, "Your saying you don't want me in your life?"

Joxer replied firmly, "Not like that. I'd love it if we could have something special, but I can't keep chasing that illusion. I will always love you, but I have to move on for my daughter's sake." Joxer looked at Gabrielle wondering what she was going to do. An awkward silence sat in.

Gabrielle then let a tear fall from her face, "But I love her. This is something I want. If the fact I don't love you is the problem I could give it a try."

Joxer breathed in as he said, "Now you're chasing an illusion. You know in your heart that that won't happen."

Gabrielle waited a moment, "Yes I do. Dammit, I really wanted this." Gabrielle cried.

Joxer hesitated for a moment and then took her in his arms as a friend as he said, "I know you do Gabrielle, that's one of those things that makes you so wonderful and one of the things about you I love."

Gabrielle then said, "For the first time in my life I regret not feeling like that for you. I'm sorry about all those times when I was a bitch."

Joxer let her go as he said, "I know."

Gabrielle then said, "Well here's what we are going to do. We're going to find you a place to live. We'll stay awhile, but then we'll move on. I'll be back all the time. If you haven't found someone by the point she starts asking those questions, send me a letter and I'll come and talk to her."

Joxer asked curiously, "What questions?" Gabrielle replied, "You know, those questions." Joxer looked clueless. Gabrielle said, "Um you know those special things about being a girl?"

Joxer said casually, "Oh that? Got that covered."

Gabrielle asked aghast, "You going to talk to her about her time of the moon?"

Joxer's jaw dropped in surprise, "Um… well… I'll send you a letter about that time."

Gabrielle said relieved, "Good."

AN: Just imagine Joxer giving a little girl the talk. The idea frightens me to think about it.