HALLOWEEN UPDATION!
Ok well, I'm still working on the next chapter to my story Closed Azure Eyes Tell No Stories, but I wanted to throw something out there in honor Halloween and all you wonderful people. If you like it, I might do more stuff like this later on every now and then in the story, just to lighten the mood. I was going to go creepy, but maybe next time loves.
Sasuke never was one for aesthetics.
In fact, it was on that long list of things he didn't or never will like. As of today, the list totaled to 137. Actually, scratch that. Make it 138. He now hated the number 137.
It fell under the category of "Useless Things People in This World Like" in his mental list. There were at least 50 items in that folder which slipped perfectly into that raven colored filing cabinet of his. You see, he had a category for everything. There were exactly 8 items in the "People I Despise" section, around 70 items in the "I'll Think About it Later" register, 14 items in the "Food I Absolutely Cannot and Never Will Eat" file, 19 things in the "Itachi" section (yes, he had a file specially for Itachi—how special, I'm sure he feels loved), and at least 50 billion things that annoyed him about his teammates, although he didn't make a file for that—it was more a psychological directory, a directory that got just a tiny bit smaller each time Sasuke imagined slicing through them with a Chidori.
Oh, and another thing: girls.
Sasuke's never had a good experience with them. Ever. They followed him around, and they were whiny little bitches sometimes. The only one he could ever stand was Hinata Hyuga. And he'd never been able to look at them or even think about them in the same way after...that dreadful night. He remembered back to when he was the tender age of six his dad called Itachi in to his room. Now, Sasuke had made a habit of listening on their conversations, so he would find out what his father wanted Itachi to do, and then Sasuke would do it before Itachi and get love from his father. Genius, right? Right Sasuke. Whatever you say.
Back to the point, so as dear little innocent Sasuke listen to the conversation, he felt his ears go red from the topic being discussed. Not that he knew what half of it was, but he heard some of these terms before in movies and crazy romance books.
"So Itachi," started Fugaku, "how's that girlfriend of yours?" (1)
"Uh-uhm, she's doing well Dad." Itachi sounded uncomfortable. Hell was going to freeze over now.
"Good, good." An uncomfortable pause came between them. "Ah. So have you tried anything with her?" Sasuke heard Itachi choke.
"WHAT? God, no. Oh God no." Silence. Sasuke had seen Itachi's 'girlfriend' before. She was pretty he admitted. But what did their dad mean by "try something?" Kissing? Because he'd seen them do that before. The thoughts of what else 'something' could be swirled around in the little raven's head.
"Well, if you ever need help with anything, just ask me 'tachi. You know I know how to make a woman happy," his voice sounded smug and loose. Something his father never was. Sasuke heard a couple grunts and quick, odd sounds from his father, and then a bellowing laugh.
In the next few seconds, Itachi came out looking as white as a ghost. Itachi bent down and whispered something to Sasuke that he would NEVER forget. "Sasuke, I love you, and I'm your brother. So I have to tell you this: Never, ever, get a girlfriend. And if you do by some strange whim of cruelty, never, ever, bring her home to dad." Itachi stood and waddled off, and Sasuke swore he could see him shaking.
Itachi broke up with his girlfriend the next day.
After witnessing these events, he decided girls must be absolutely terrible to make even Itachi purposely avoid them. Sasuke implanted Itachi's words in his head, and has lived true to them to this very day. So what, Sasuke never liked girls. It might have made him gay if he didn't take must of an interest in guys either, but right now Sasuke had decided to go with asexual. "Plain and simple," he had said to countless people, so go shove it up your ass.
Sasuke sighed and put his head in his hands, massaging his temples and wishing for this god-forsaken day to end. Yes, today was Halloween, probably his least favorite holiday of the entire year.
Why you ask?
Simple, he thought. During Halloween, people dress up and try to be something they're not. They try to look good, and then flounce around in either too tight or ugly costumes that either makes them look like sluts (Sasuke glanced over at the costume Karin was trying on), or people who belong in insane asylums (he turned towards the long, pink kimono Suigetsu had tried on while screaming at a cursing Karin that his complemented his eyes.) Thankfully, Jugo had gone to get food.
Sasuke again began to massage his temples.
Slowly, Sasuke tilted his head back to lean on the tree he had oh-so carefully chosen, just because it was far enough away from the village that if one of his teammates decided to "borrow" something, they could all get away relatively fast. Sasuke closed his eyes and felt the sun on his face which slowly heated up his body.
What would Itachi be doing this Halloween? Sasuke wondered. Ever since "the incident", Sasuke mind had unconsciously drifted to Itachi, usually at the most inconvenient of times. During a battle or an argument with Suigetsu was usually one of those times. It made him uncomfortable really. Sasuke quickly shook the feeling and went to another Itachi-fied thought.
What would Itachi dress up as?
Sasuke silently chuckled to himself as he thought of Itachi in a dress and a pink wig, like that Sakura he despised so very much. Sasuke's grin turned to a frown. Damn, even HE could make that look good.
It was true, as much as Sasuke hated, and he meant HATED to admit it. Itachi was one hell of a man, a good looking one at that. True he hadn't really noticed when he was attacking him, but when he thought back, he just had to relish on the thoughts of Itachi's hair blowing in the wind, or how Itachi made his Grand Fireball look so much cooler than his.
Sasuke slightly stuck his tongue out at the thought. HE had never TRIED to look good, so HE never looked better than Itachi. Sasuke settled on the thought and tried to bury it, but it kept coming back up like annoying zombies or something to that effect. Sasuke started a mental comparison.
1) Hair: Sasuke hand came to his chin. It was a draw. Itachi had great hair because he did something to it. He wasn't sure what exactly, but something. No one's hair was that straight while still slightly curling at the bangs to frame his perfectly heart-shaped, chiseled, and glamorous—ugh. Getting off subject yet again. Way to go Sasuke. But it definitely was a draw. Sasuke remembered one time when he tried to make his hair look messy, but all the girls just ended up cooing over it because it had more "oomph." Well, he never tried that again. Score: 0-0.
2) Eyes: Eyes definitely went to Itachi. He had longer lashes, prettier Sharingan (pretty? Where the hell did that come from?), and they just had a better aesthetic appeal. Sasuke's were…well, no comment. Score: Itachi in the lead with 1-0.
Sasuke never was into aesthetics. That was a good enough excuse.
3) Body: Sasuke, definitely. He showed it off so he should get the point, agreed? Scored: Tied 1-1.
Now what next? How about…
4) Ninpo: Itachi had better, more flashy techniques, Sasuke inwardly admitted. It was those types of technique that you were honored while absolutely terrified to be killed by. Sasuke knew firsthand. Sasuke's techniques were well, boring-ish. True, he had a few kick-ass one's up his sleeve, but they were more get in, get out techniques. Techniques designed to kill, quickly and efficiently.
Sasuke squirmed at the thought of Itachi winning his competition. There had to be something else. Had to be something else…Oh!
5) Sasuke didn't sweat. Simple as that. Yes, he got flushed rather quickly, but Sasuke in no way sweated. He would just turn in to a hotter version of a tomato, and I mean, you are what you eat, right? But seriously, Itachi would sweat like crazy. He remembered that one time after he sprained his ankle and Itachi carried him, Itachi was soaked, literally. He smelled awful also. But you see, Sasuke didn't sweat. Sasuke smirked. Score 2-2. Now just one more…Sasuke winced.
Where did the sun go? Sasuke's face had cooled down rather quickly because there was no freaking sun. Sasuke cracked one eye open to see Karin, Suigetsu, and Jugo standing over him. Sasuke groaned inwardly and sat up. The trio of idiots were beaming. "Move," surprisingly they all stepped to the side. Something was up.
"Sasuke!" Karin started, and finished quickly once Sasuke glared at her stupid, glasses framed eyes. "I brought you a tomato, Sasuke-kun," Jugo said in his polite and calming voice. Sasuke reached out and grabbed the fruit and took a bite. Mmmm, it so…what if it's poisoned? Sasuke immediately spit out the bite he had taken and eyed them. "What do you want?"
The three shuffled their feet then took their hands out from behind their backs. "Well," Suigetsu said in his haughty voice (which he wasn't going to get anything with speaking to Sasuke like that), "while Jugo was in town he saw an advertisement for a festival in honor of," Suigetsu stopped. He knew Sasuke despised that word. "Hell-o-weenie," Karin finished. Suigetsu grinned at her cunning was of saying "it." Sasuke frowned and stood. "Well, you three can go, and I'll be in my tent. Don't wake me until this bloody day is over."
"Sasuke wait!" Sasuke spun on his heels to see Jugo with his hand outstretched. "Uhh, we wanted you to go with us. So we got you this." Suigetsu held out a mask that resembled something like a smiling mouse with great big pink orbs for eyes, something that made Sasuke cringe on sight. "You can't be serious." Suigetsu blinked but didn't retract his hand.
"Please?"
"No."
Karin joined. "Please?"
"Absolutely not."
Jugo decided to add to the pitiful duet. "Pleaseeeee?"
Sasuke looked at them. "Fine. Jackasses." He snatched the mask and slipped it over his head. "Let's get this over with."
^.^
Karin walked into the lit up town, dazzled by the amount of neon and free food. Suigetsu had already stuffed his face and was basically bursting out of his costume. At least they didn't make Sasuke didn't dress up. Yet.
Karin was wearing something of a warrior-decked-in-leather costume, something that was obviously popular with the girls. As they walked through the town, they noticed all eyes were on them. "What's with them?" Sasuke whispered.
"They're all staring at your outfit, Sasuke. Put this on." Suigetsu held out a robe decked in baby blue flowers and purple vines.
"Hell no."
"Sasuke," Suigetsu said in somewhat of a serious/condescending tone. It's a good thing Sasuke was in a good mood tonight, because he put the robe on.
Karin inspected Sasuke and felt her heart drop. His chest was covered now. Sigh. She needed a break from this madness. "Let's go grab some sake."
^.^
The four sat in the bar with three drinking to their hearts content. Sasuke had easily gotten them past the guard at the entrance, and it was pretty much free-for-all once you got in. Karin was already tipsy, Jugo was feasting on liquor soaked kalamari, and Suigetsu was easily downing three or four shots in a minute's time. Sasuke sat like a fence post in the corner. Alcohol did funny things to him. Like got him sick for weeks at a time. He never understood why, but he knew to stay away from it once he accidentally took a drink of his mother's sake.
Oh the horror of not being able to drink anything but sweet tea for two weeks. Maybe that was how he grew to avoid sweet stuff.
"Sasuke, drink," Suigetsu said, tipping his glasses to where half its contents stained the birght blue robe Sasuke was wearing. At least he had an excuse to take it off now.
"No."
"Please?"
"Fine."
Sasuke took a sip and choked down he fermented liquid.
It was all downhill from there.
^.^
Sasuke woke up on the outskirts of the village nearly stripped of his clothes and raped of what little bit of inner peace he had started the night with. "Oh my fucking God."
"What the hell Suigetsu? You got us kicked out of there too?" Karin screamed. Please, something, make her stop. Sasuke rubbed his forehead and watched from a distance Suigetsu ward off Karin's attacks.
Sasuke slowly managed to get to his feet and head to break up the two. "I hate Halloween," he mumbled on his way there. And how do they not have a hangover. Surely they drank more than me, right? Sasuke paused. Right? He continued his half-assed attempt at a walk. Once they were apart, both looked at him with dazed and confused eyes.
"Sasuke?" Karin managed. "When did you start wearing makeup?"
"Yeah," Suigetsu agreed, "and I have to say, I really liked the black hair better. Red hair just makes you look like a wannabe sluttier version of Karin." Karin fumed.
Sasuke pushed his hair out of his eyes and went to find a hole to crawl up and die in for another hour or so.
Remember, Sasuke never was one for aesthetics.
^.^
(1) Yes, Itachi did have a girlfriend. If you listen to Madara explain who Itachi killed during the massacre after Sasuke killed Itachi, Madara specially mentions his lover. Not the lover's name, just "his lover."
If you like the lighter mood as so, check out my story 30 Ways to Annoy Kakashi Hatake Continued.
Oh and remember, I need some ideas for characters to put in the later chapters of my Closed Azure Eyes Tell No Stories fanfic. Rate and Review please, for the sake of Halloween =D
Now I tip to you my imaginary bottle of sake.
-Crunchy