Authors Note: Ok, we're onto chapter two. I'd like to extend a super awesome shout out to my beta reader Tigers-and-dragons! You are so sweet and patient with me. Dear readers, I think you should check out T&D's stories, they're pretty splendid… Also, a special shout out to Gaaras1girl. She really helped me with the development of my OC as well as the descriptions n'stuff.
Oh, I forgot to say this last chapter, but I don't own Naruto, so ya, don't sue me please :) Though... I have to wonder, there are thousands of stories here. Will government workers and copyright enthusiasts really waste their time looking for people who don't put disclaimers?
And I'd like to thank all those people who reviewed my last chapter. Just keep on reviewing, it helps give me the motivation to write and it's also helpful to have feedback. So even if it's something small, it's better than nothing at all ;)
Anyways, enjoy and don't forget to drop me some reviews and tell me what you think of this story.
Lilly of the Field
Chapter Two
After some time of sitting there on the cold hard floor, my heart settled down from the panic. I stood slowly, using the corner I had backed into earlier to help support my weak body. Touching my clothes, I was over whelmed at the feeling of wanting to take them off. Their heaviness and bulk were beginning to make me feel trapped, like a little caterpillar stuck in her cocoon. My fingers quickly reached for a drawer in my dresser, shaking with nerves. It made it difficult to grasp objects, but I quickly found what I was looking for.
I pulled out a pair of old, rusted, silver scissors, slipping my fingers through the loops. The coolness of the metal felt sharp on my skin. I put the blades over the darts of my dress. Desperate to get rid of these garments, my cuts were jagged and ugly. My heart was pounding so hard I could feel each pulse ringing through my head. I knew Shino was in the living room waiting for me to come out; he had just walked out only minutes ago. I cringed and glanced at the door as though he could hear my thoughts.
I cut through the delicate white fabric. Peeling the dress off of me quickly, I left it crumpled into an ugly pile on the floor. A huge wave of relief passed through me when I took my first deep gulp of air. I hadn't realized it before, but the dress had been binding my lungs, making it difficult to breathe. A rush of blood flooded through my veins as the cool air touched my skin for the first time in hours. I shut my eyes and enjoyed a moment of physical bliss only to snap them open again. Now was no time to let my guard down.
Eyeing the door warily, I slipped into my night clothes with lightening speed. Its material was initially cool to my skin, but quickly warmed up to my body heat. Carefully, I crawled into bed and pulled the sheets over me. They were made of a warm and soft cloth, cradling me with their folds, I felt a little safer, even though the mattress was very hard, and the springs creaked in loud protest with every move I made. The spirals of metal could be felt through the cushion and they jabbed me painfully in protest. I let out a sigh of annoyance and hoped that I could fall asleep quickly, despite this cursed mattress and my emotional turmoil.
My thoughts kept dragging me back to Shino and the bugs inside of him; crawling around him like maggots writhing around a corpse. Feeding off of him like a mosquito feeds off of blood. My heart froze again in dread. I was close to being paralyzed with fear. He was my husband now. The hairs in the back of my neck raised in objection like every fiber of my being had.
I don't know if I can stand the idea of him touching me.
I began to sweat nervously, shifting uncomfortably in my sheets. I now knew why the Aburame's were so mysterious. It was to conceal their horrific secret. Though, I couldn't wrap my head around why I wasn't made aware of this sooner. Surely, it was obvious from battle what their clan was capable of. It would have spread through the village, from shinobi to villager, and I would have caught wind of it eventually. Why didn't anyone tell me?
I felt so foolish.
I pulled the covers over my head and willed myself to go to sleep. Where was Shino? When was he coming back? Was he going to? I looked at the door again, but it didn't move. I could not hear a sound that was out of the ordinary. I lay awake, horrified, I couldn't stand the image of him swarming with insects. I had never seen anything like it; his body was so effortlessly turned into a human hive. I took shallow breaths, afraid that if I took in too much I would inhale some toxic poison floating in the air.
The lights were still on in the room. I had been so anxious to dress and climb into bed that I had not bothered to switch them off. The warm glow they emitted brought me little comfort. What was I going to do? Tears were threatening to spill from my eyes. I felt like the little textured etches on the ceiling were patronizing me. Their shadows tricking me into believing it was one of Shino's insects. I closed my eyes, paranoid at everything that touched me. Tears cascaded from my face, leaving glittering trails of moisture and mascara behind. Of all the things I had thought about concerning an arranged marriage… of all the possibilities… cruelty, infidelity, pornography, gambling, ugliness, dirtiness… I had never imagined I would be faced with this obstacle. I fitfully turned in my bed until I fell asleep.
When I awoke the next morning my body was stiff, like a corpse that had entered the early stages of rigor mortis. My bones creaked in objection when I sat up. The mattress groaned unhappily, spearing my backside with its coils as if to say 'don't move! You're hurting me'. I looked over to the other side of the bed, my eyes still blurry. It was empty and made; untouched. I was relieved that he had not come to see me after he had shown me his insects. I gave an involuntary shudder and began to rub my hands on my arms. The cool air that had felt so nice the night before was now snapping at me. My skin longed to be warm again and I was tempted to crawl back under the warmth of the sheets. I dreaded the feeling of the cold wooden floor coming in contact with the bottoms of my feet. Cold surfaces were always worse to bear than cold air, and I knew that the shock of a frigid floor would awaken me faster than I wanted.
I wondered if Shino was here, and if he was, where? I felt a small frown tug at the corners of my lips. I was looking forward to seeing him again just as much as a child looked forward to visiting the doctor for inoculations. It was an unholy combination of fear and helplessness. Just like the child could not run away and escape being poked by a sharp and painful needle, I could not escape my marriage from Shino. Contracts were always binding and marriage was no different. I groaned out loud and cursed my fate, tearing the covers off defiantly. It was like ripping off a band aid; the faster you did it, the faster you recovered.
It was then that I noticed a little tree sitting on the window sill. I jumped out of bed and moved closer to examine the tiny plant, joy beginning to flutter against my breast bone. The warm winter sun was hitting its leaves making them almost shine with verdant beauty. Its gnarled roots and its bark were so tiny and sculpted that they looked like miniature botanical acrobats. I touched it, feeling the waxy smoothness and the rough abrasiveness of the tree. This was no ordinary tree, but what was it? A shrub, a bush, a root? No, that's not right; I had recently learned about this from my governess, it was a bonsai.
After a few more moments of studying the bonsai, I came back to reality. This was no time to be thinking about plants; I had more pressing matters to worry about. Though, I had obsessed so much about Shino's insects last night while I was trying to go to sleep, my mind was having a difficult time wrapping it all up in my head. I sat back down on the bed, my head in my hands, hanging in a gesture of defeat. What was I going to do? I was stuck with a monster, a gross and disgusting monster that was swarming in revolting amounts of insects. My skin began to crawl, leaving behind little bumps in my flesh. I was rejecting him with everything that I had, both inside and outside.
I decided it would be best if I dressed for the day, so I made haste. While putting my hair back into loose curls, my heart gave another flutter of panic. I knew that after I was finished fixing myself, I would have to go outside and potentially see my husband. My cowardice was a sign that I lacked social dignity and grace. This was far beneath my station, and I knew it. But in light of the situation that was presented before me and the aftermath, it was safe to assume that I did not care.
Biting my lip nervously, I made up my freshly clean face until I deemed it decent for public viewing. I was very insecure about how I looked and the makeup provided a sort of mask to hide how ugly I truly felt at times. It didn't help that my parents constantly perpetuated that I give an appearance of maturity and overall 'togetherness' that was demanded in high society. The life style I was raised in was very rigid and lonely; I envied the girls that would walk in groups talking so happily with their friends. I felt like an outsider, always looking into a world of fun through a foggy glass, straining to see and feel what true companionship was like. My home life wasn't horrible and my childhood wasn't lacking, my parents loved me and took care of me very much. I just never had the opportunity to be around people my age.
I was done after some more time carefully picking out an outfit and pulling it on. I looked at the door again. It had been recently lacquered in a glossy sheet of dark cherry wood. It was my favorite of the woods with its deep reddish brown color. It looked inviting, which was deceiving in my eyes. This bedroom was my refuge. But by allowing my fear to dictate whether I left or stayed, it was also my prison.
The door swung open violently. I jumped in such fright that I smacked the back of my skull into the wall. A bright explosion of color danced in front of my vision followed shortly by a searing jolt of white pain. I cried out and grabbed the back of my head. My legs grew weak and I fell to the floor, slumped over in pain. Tears sprung from my eyes and my cheeks grew hot from embarrassment.
I saw a blurry vision of Shino, who was still wearing his wedding clothes. He stood there for a couple of seconds; I think he was confused about what had just happened. I shuddered looking up at him, but was in too much pain to make any other physical manifestations that his presence was concerning me. My hands were beginning to feel wet and sticky. To my horror, I peeled them away from the back of my head and saw my palms covered in a bright red liquid. I was bleeding. Blood began to run down my neck, soaking my hair and dripping onto the hardwood floor. I looked at the drops, surprised. I hadn't thought that I had hit my head that hard.
The world was spinning uncontrollably in front of me and I hardly noticed that I had been picked up from the ground. Each pulse of my heart sent jabbing pains into my tender head like a jackhammer to cement. Shino moved so quickly out of the door that I think even if I was coherent, it still would have all been a blur. I was becoming very sleepy and slipping slowly into unconsciousness. I wanted to sleep so bad, but with every bound and leap Shino took, I jerked awake again. I wanted to tell him to stop but my tongue felt like a swollen and sticky mass in my mouth. All I managed to articulate was distorted grumble, which he promptly ignored.
The tingling sound of bells rang in my ears as Shino carried me into a building. An overwhelming smell of flowers hit my nose and in my semiconscious state, I saw blurs of bright colors. I was having a very hard time figuring out where we were, when I saw a blonde woman rush out from behind the counter towards me. Shino laid my body gently down on the hard blue tiled floor and started talking.
"- hit her head -started bleeding - dilation - pupils and blood right away - bring her here- you have medical training - much closer - than the hospital," Shino said. It felt like cotton balls had been stuffed in my ears and their words muffled.
"Right, I gottcha," The blonde said, taking something out from her apron. She stuck her warm fingers on my eyelids and rudely pried them open. Her flashlight burned my retinas leaving me even more disoriented from the bright light than I was before.
"Is there anything you want me to do?"
"No, I got this. She seems to have a concussion. It's rather minor and if she hasn't slipped into unconsciousness now, I don't think she will in the future. Here, let me bandage the injury really fast and I want you to keep an eye on her until next morning. If her behavior changes or becomes erratic, then take her to the hospital. This is usually a sign brain hemorrhaging has occurred. But like I said, since she's not exhibiting any of these symptoms at this time, I can safely say she's ok." My head spun at all the words she was saying and I couldn't comprehend anything. I was gently lifted by the blonde lady and she began cleaning and bandaging my head in the middle of the shop floor.
Pressure was being applied to my injury and I screamed out in pain. I put my hands up to stop her, but she kept on going, swatting me away. The pain was so intense; I couldn't keep my eyes open. It felt like a jackhammer was whacking violently at my head until finally the girl was done. The hammering turned into a thud and my eyes opened slightly. Beginning to regain a more clear vision, I recognized where I was.
"This is the Yamanaka flower shop," I looked at the girl who was kneeling over me, "you're Ino," I said dumbly. And then it hit me, this was Ino's shop. We locked eyes and sparks of red hot dislike for one another could subtly be felt. Ino had never liked me, though we didn't really know each other well. Her strong personality clashed immensely with mine and her words were sometimes harsh and venomous. Aside from her being a kunoichi, she was also most adept at flower arranging and tending. Our contempt for one another stemmed on petty plant competition.
Shino moved in front of me and I looked up, still a little fuzzy brained. His eyebrows were furrowed and he looked down with a stern look. He stretched out his hand and I stared at it for a while, hesitating to take it. Ino noticed this and I saw a small smirk grow from the corners of her lips.
"Let's go," Shino said, "Unless you have anything else to take care of, Ino."
"Oh no, go on right ahead with your pretty little new wife," Ino slyly replied, a smug look on her face. I had no doubt that she knew about Shino's insects and was gloating at my marriage to him. My face began to burn bright red with anger and embarrassment, this woman was unbelievable.
"Thank you Ino," I said stiffly and grabbed Shino's hand, internally cringing at the touch of his skin. The motion of getting up left me light headed for a moment and I stumbled, my vision becoming spotty again. Shino caught me and I rested on him for a moment, my heart rate increasing. This was disturbing, but I had to lean on him while I gave my blood enough time to pump back into my skull. The dull thumping was becoming an annoying headache at this point.
"Oh, no problem Sayuri-chan, here's some painkillers for you," She slipped two orange pills into my hand and watched me while I swallowed them dry. I wanted to heave, the pills felt like dry rocks on my throat. She smiled again at me and started to wave. "Good bye now."
We walked out of the shop, the ringing bells chiming after us. The winter air encompassed my body and I shivered. I began walking towards the direction of home when I stopped and looked back because Shino wasn't following me.
"Aren't you coming?"
"Yes, you seem cold though."
"I am, which is why I'm walking home." I lurched forward a little, feeling dizzy.
"If you are cold, we should find you something to eat."
"You think so?" I asked, still a little delirious.
"Yes."
"Oh, okay."
Soon, I was sitting on the comfy seats of a sweets shop, which was a stark difference from the hard ground I had been laying on before. People in the restaurant craned their necks to see us; me with a bloody bandage wrapped around my head, and a disheveled Shino still wearing his clothes from the night before. I almost laughed out loud at how ridiculous we looked. I was still in too much pain to really care that I was so close to him.
A pretty waitress came in with a heavily floured black apron and a pen sticking out of her brown hair. I quickly placed my order for hot chocolate and Shino asked for green tea. When she left, we sat in an awkward silence. I rubbed my temples hoping to alleviate the pain a little bit. All the questions and the fears were slowly beginning to come back with the retrieval of my wits, curiosity peaking.
"Shino…" I began slowly, waiting for him to give me a sign of recognition. When he didn't respond, I continued. "Shino, why did you decide to follow through with the wedding?"
He didn't answer for a moment, and I feared that he hadn't heard my question. I sighed in frustration because I did not want to repeat it.
"I suppose for the same reasons you did," He answered quietly. I frowned, this was not what I wanted to hear, and I wanted answers to my questions.
"I see... Did you know anything about me before the arrangement was made?"
"Yes."
"Like what?"
"Just a couple of details about you." He turned his head away from me to signal that he was done answering my questions. I relaxed the tension I felt in my shoulders and bit my lower lip. The waitress came and served us our beverages. I sipped on my hot chocolate, the warm liquid firing up my insides and making me feel warm and hazy. I didn't think that asking him anymore questions was going to bring me any closer to the truth. I breathed in the steam slowly, contemplating for a while and looking at the porcelain mug. I wanted to ask him a bold question, but I needed to regroup my thoughts. He knew about his problem, yet he didn't tell me… nobody did.
"Do you think I'll be happy here with you?"
"Sayuri, that is for you to decide on your own."
We sat in silence for a few more minutes, my thoughts racing. I hated how nobody answered my questions. I wasn't a child anymore, but everyone was acting like I was, surrounding me in a shroud of mystery because maybe they thought I couldn't handle the truth. I looked at my reflection in the shop mirror and sighed. Enlightenment was my only option.
Authors Note: Ok, you read it; now tell me what you think! Please drop me a review and thanks for reading this story! (seriously, do it! It would make me happy :) )