Underlined is said in Hebrew.

Italics is a flashback/dream/memorie.

Chapter two – why can't I see you?

Without that she really noticed it she grabbed her star of David, it was her mothers. The only thing she could hold on to.

There she was crying, by the fountain. It was only after a half an hour when Tali found her. Breathing heavily from running.

"'there you are, father is not happy" Tali spook.

"'i do not care" she answered.

"hey, don't be like that to me, if i were you I'll be jumping up and down because mother had written me" Ziva looked at Tali after she said that.

"That is because you didn't see her leave. Because you didn't see her back walk out the door" Ziva snapped at her sister.

Tali sat down next to her, and pulled something out of her pocket. "Here, i found it a few days ago, I thought you might wanted to have it" than she gave the little box to her sister. Ziva wondered what it was and opened it, there she found it the golden chain with the star of David hanging on it.

"This is mothers", she said more to herself than to Tali.

The only thing to hold on to, it had so many memories, for Ziva it was like it had a little bit of her mother captured inside. Just a flinch so when she felt lonely she sometimes grabbed it and relaxed.

Ziva walked upstairs, and opened the closet, on a self there was a shoebox. She grabbed it and opened it. Almost immediately she found what she was looking for. The letter her mother had send her, the last thing she ever heard of her. For all she knew her mother could be dead. For the six hundredth time she read the letter.

Happy birthday, my love,

I long to see you almost grown up, but I can't for so many reasons. My heart still breaks when I think about the day I left you and Tali. And when I think about all the things that I've missed. I hope that you understand me one day, why i left. If you don't I can understand, I've hurt you to much. I know that you will be fine, just remember that I love you, and miss you.

Pleas forgive me for what I've done, your always be my baby. Love

Mom

Ziva read it about ten times over. No she still didn't completely understand why her mother had left. She knew it had something to do with her father. But when she tried to confront him he had said nothing.

With the letter in her hand she fell asleep. I was a almost dreamless sleep, she just walked with her mother not even noticing where, just holding her hand.

It was just past one, and they sat on their desks. Ziva couldn't concentrate because her mind was still with her mother, and she had made one of her familiar English mistakes, Tony had not just explained it to her like he normally did. But it was on a tone she didn't know from him. Just like he was irritating himself to her, because she had been stupid again. Or did she just not hear him well, she wondered if he noticed something was wrong. Constantly she looked at him wondering what he thought.

She just had to take a walk, to Mcgee she said that she would be back soon and then she left. The fresh air did her good, it was like the wind blow away a little bit of her concern.

- In the mean wile-

The elevator pinged, they barely even noticed it. Tony looked op from his phone and saw that Ziva was gone,

"Hey, Mcgee, do you know where Ziva is?" Tony asked.

"Did you not hear, she said that she was going away but be back soon why", Tony didn't answer.

He wanted to go back to the phone, he had still 48 people to call but there was a woman that took his attention. The woman stood next to his desk,

"Can I help you Ma'm" Tony asked. The woman reminded him of someone, she had seem to have a certain thing around her.

"I'm looking for Ziva David",

"Do you have a appointment ma'm" she shook her head.

"then I can't help you I'm afraid". The woman wanted to go but then turned around "would you like to give her this, please" she asked him,

"sure will do"and he took the envelope the woman was holding out to him. He wondered why the woman was looking for Ziva. "Should I tell her that you stopped by miss….?" he ask,

"No, but thank you. Would you like to say to her that " she sighed "just that I won't be back", Tony nodded to the woman and wished her a good day. Before she walked away.

Tony wondered, why did he have to say that she wasn't going to be back, she was looking for Ziva. And the woman had seemed so hurt. It spooked through is mind for a while.

At that moment the elevator pinged again and Ziva walked out. The walk had done her good. She looked at the squad room, there was Tony he had a confused look on his face, but why.

She just wanted to go and sit behind her desk when Tony spoke up. "Ziva", she looked up and walked towards him

"yes" she replied.

He grabbed an envelope and hold it out for her, before she could take it he said "There was a woman looking for you. Who gave me this, I had to say to you that she wouldn't be back". After saying that he let Ziva take the envelope, and got back to work.

With the envelope in her hand she sat down at her desk. Who could possibly be looking for her? She opened the envelope, there was something different in it than she expected. What she was expecting was a letter but instead there was a photo.

Careful not to scratch it she got it out of the envelope. At the back on the photo was something written, in Hebrew. "I always love you", who had send it to her who would say that. At that moment she thought it was probably a joke of Tony but he couldn't write or read Hebrew. She turned the photo around and at that point her mind froze.

On the photo there was a woman and a child. Her and her mother, and was taken on the day she had left.

"Ziva look at the camera" her mother had said to her "I want a photo of us together, to remember."

This could not be, why was this here, her mother was gone. It had to be Tony, it just had to be. Otherwise she was lost.

"Is this your idea of a prank, Tony" she said angrily.

"don't know what you mean Zee-Vah" he said, not expected to hear the anger in her voice..

"Don't call me that", she stood up and walked to his desk "what you don't know what I mean. I mean this" and she threw the envelope, closed on his desk. He looked at her she was really angry

"Ziva, I really don't" he tried.

"o please" she practical screamed, before grabbing her coat and went in the elevator.

"Dinozzo" Gibbs said, he just walked in when he saw Ziva standing at Tony's desk, but had not spoken for a minute. Why was Ziva leaving she better had a very good reason.

"Boss, I don't know why she" he didn't spoke any further as he saw the look in Gibbs eyes.