Underlined is said in Hebrew.

Italics is a flashback/dream/memories.

i am soooo sorry for not updating this story in a while just got no inspiration,

now i have it back a little. so here it is, tell me what you think and what you

like to see in the next few chaptors, because i often get inspiration from other people.

Review Please, Love you guys

ps. translation below, you´ll see if you read

Chaptor Eight –Not that bad

Her mother sat on her bed Ziva had given her some pj's from her to put on. She sat down next to her, her mom spoke up first.

'Ziva, I am glad to see you' she stroke her daughters hair, Ziva didn't answer, suddenly she felt so betrayed and anger.

'Ziva, talk to me my love'

She tried to become calm but couldn't and her guard slipped away.

'why did you leave, why didn't you stay, with us, with me'

'i. your father'

'but you could have stayed for me'

'I wanted to but it was just to hard, if you knew how your father was' her mom answered.

'to hard' Ziva screamed out 'you know nothing about it. You don't know how hard it was, when you left'

'yes, my love, I can understand but your father couldn't be that'

Downstairs Tony heard the screaming. He wanted to get up and go to them, but he heard the voice of Gibbs in his head 'Give them time and space, Dinozzo' so he said back down and listened.

'not that bad' Ziva didn't know why but she was talking English again. Like speaking Hebrew remembered her of her father. 'you don't know how bad. From the moment you were away he raised us to kill, beat us if we didn't. When Tali died he did not come to her funeral. And when Ari…' she swallowed a tear back 'he send me to kill him, my half brother. I have killed my own brother because of him'

Downstairs Tony heard every word Ziva had said. Had she really killed Ari, her brother, only because her father. No that wasn't like Ziva even she wouldn't kill her own brother just for orders. Gibbs must knew it, like always. Was that why he trusted her, from the first day they were a team.

Now ziva began to whisper 'I have lost every thing, piece by piece when you left. I just can't anymore', she stared at her mother.

'come her, motek' Ziva sat down next to her mother 'it's okay, I understand that your angry I would be to. I will not leave you, your everything that I have'

That broke Ziva, tears in her eyes, falling down her cheek. Normally she wouldn't have shown any emotion but it was her mother, she trusted her nomather what. Now she was in her mothers embrace, sobbing against her. Her mother becan to sing a song a Hebrew lullaby. It calmed Ziva down and she fell asleep in her mothers armes, after the song was finnished she whispered 'halomot metukot, motek' than she fell asleep.

It was 3 am when Tony woke up, he thought he heard something outside, with his gun ready he walked to the door and opened it, nothing. Better check up on Ziva he thought. Softly he walked up the stairs and opened the door the light was still on. Ziva lay next to her mother and her mother had an arm around her daughter. Tony thured off the light befor closing the door and went back down. He didn't sleep again, round 5 am he still didn't sleep.

Than Ziva came in the living room and softly walked by, thinking tony was asleep.

'what are you doing' je asled she didn't react in a soft tone she said

'running' than she closed the door behind her.

She run until her lungs felt like they were on fire, she topped to catch her breath. Suddenly a feeling became her, like she was beeing wacht, she looked but saw no one.

By the time Ziva was back showered and dresst her mother was to, it was only 7 am. They eat there breakfest in silence . Tony acted like he hadn't heard a thing last night.

Little before 8 they arived at NCIS. Ziva just wanted to sit down when Gibbs walked in 'Go home' he said to Ziva

'Gibbs I just got here' she complained, he walked to her until they were twinty centimeters apart.

'Ziva, just go home, be with your mom' ziva wanted to argu 'Ziver are you going home or do I have to ask Dinozzo to bring you'

With that she walkd away with her mom. Tony was starring at her until they were out of side.

'Dinozzo, work'

'yes boss'

When Ziva and Neorah were back at the apartment they finally spoke again.

'I am sorry for lieving you'

'Don't apologize it's a singe of weakness' Ziva said while looking in her mothers eyes.

'Motek, I promes you that I will be there for you always'

'but'

little translation for you who don´t know ore don´t want to look it up.

Motek - Sweerheart

Halomot metukot - sweet dreams