CHAPTER 27 - I have
The days flew by numbly. Since Tony had told Ziva about her mother she had not spoke much. But it was becoming better, she eat and drunk normal. And at the beginning of this week she had begun to speak longer sentences and sometimes one or two out of herself. In the beginning she only spoke if you asked her a direct question.
Today was the day that Ziva was allowed to come home, after two and a half weeks in the hospital. The release papers were singed and Ziva was allowed to go home.
She still had the cast around her arm it could come off after more weeks, the stitches in her head, stomach would be removed after a week. It all had healed nicely.
At home, Tony put Ziva on the couch sat down next to her, for the rest of the day they just watched movies.
While they were watching both their thoughts were somewhere ells.
Tony was a mix of different emotions. He was happy that Ziva was okay and healing well, he was sad for the woman he had seen die, for the child he had not known about before it was dead. And with the pain of the dead he was also angry, at Ziva, she had not told him, that was not the worse she had not thought about their baby, still, he knew she was a wreck because her mother, and that it was not Ziva's choise to get it killed.
When they lay next to each other in bed, the only light that was there was from the moon, okay maybe also a few street lanterns but that was not the point. Ziva spoke up softly.
"Tony?"
"Yeah" he softly replayed.
"I am sorry"
"For what?" He now turned so he was facing her. He saw the pain in her eyes
"For everything"
"Ziv, I told you that"
"Please listen" she closed her eyes for a little while then opened them again and they were filled with tears "You keep saying it is not my fault, it may not be my fault my mother is" she did not dare to speak the words but she knew he understood. "But it is my fault our baby is dead. I should have thought about it, taken better care of myself, if I had not gone to that factory then…my mother died anyway and…it is just my fault please forgive me, please"
She looked at Tony, if he would not forgive her she would understand. He said nothing for a while slowly processing what she had said.
It was true It was her fault. But the past was the past it could not be changed, it did not matter anymore, the memory of it would always stay with them but it mattered most how they lived there life now. He whipped a tear that had fallen from her cheek away and whispered.
"I have Ziva, I have"
With her hand she kept his on her cheek. And like that they fell asleep
Okay I had actually planned that this would be the chapter where all the bad things would happen but this popped in my mind and I thought ah well