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Notes: Hi! This is Chapter 3 of "Airplanes & Hospitals." I really appreciate all the reviews and the threats to hogtie my muses for another chapter—I'm glad you're enjoying it! I know this is a little short, but I hope it lives up to expectations…

Disclaimer: I don't own ER, but Jamail and Josh I do own.

"No! Josh! Josh, look at me! You're a fighter, Josh, I know you are! No! Don't take him away yet, please, he's going to be okay! Josh…"

Ray was leaning over the body, his tear-stained eyes looking into the young, calm face before him. There were people all around him—teachers, students—none with the courage to tell Ray that he was gone, that there was nothing else anyone could do. This couldn't be happening, not to him…not to his little brother.

"Josh, please…don't leave me. Josh! No! No, please…"

Ray awoke to the soft touch of a hand on his arm and the sound of his name. He was drenched in sweat and tears, his throat dry and aching from the seemingly endless nightmare he had been living in his mind. He had forgotten how incredibly horrid these dreams had been; the nightmare was as bad as it was ten years ago, if not worse.

"Ray? Are you okay?" Neela asked gently, afraid of having overstepped her boundaries by coming into his room but knowing that she couldn't let him continue his wailing. It was painful to see him in such anguish. That must have been one horrible nightmare…

"What…Neela? Uh, I'm sorry if I woke you…but I'm fine. It's no big deal…" Ray hated having Neela see him like this—it was humiliating. She was sitting on the side of his bed, her eyebrows furrowed and a troubled look on her face. He immediately sat up and began wiping his face.

"Ray, your face is stained with tears, your hair is drenched in sweat, and from outside your room it sounded like you were yelling and crying at the same time. That's not 'no big deal.'" Neela kept her voice low and calm. She knew Ray's ego may not want her to be there, but she wasn't letting him push her out of the door that easily.

Ray was contemplating repeating his reassurance more firmly, but just as he was about to tell Neela to leave she made her move.

"Ray, who's Josh?" Neela's eyes were fixed on her roommate, a concerned yet firm tone to her voice. Her hand was still resting softly on his arm.

"He's nobody," Ray said quickly, avoiding Neela's gaze. Josh was part of another life, one that ended the moment Ray stepped out of his mother's house, and he wasn't about to relive the past after he had spent so long trying to forget.

"If he was nobody you wouldn't be having dreams about him," Neela said rationally. He needed to talk about this, even if he didn't want to. "Who's Josh?"

"Neela just forget about it, okay? He's nobody." Maybe if he kept repeating it, he would actually begin to believe the lie he had been telling Neela. She wasn't fooled, however.

"Who's Josh, Ray?" Neela clearly wasn't going to let this go; she suddenly didn't feel sleepy anymore.

Riled at his roommate's stubbornness, Ray took a deep breath and made a decision. Fine, if you really want to know…

"Josh was my younger brother." He hoped she would take his answer and leave it at that. Sure enough, he was sorely disappointed.

Was? "I didn't know you had a brother, Ray. What happened?" Why are you having nightmares about him?

"He…he died when I was 17. At school." Something seemed to suddenly snap inside Ray, a mental barrier lifted. It was as if saying those simple words made him…want to keep going, keep talking. He had never said 'he died' out loud before.

"Oh my God…I'm so sorry Ray." Neela wanted to ask how it happened, but as if seeing the change in his eyes, she felt he would tell her in his own way. She couldn't imagine losing a sibling…she thought of Jamail and a sudden urge to hug him overwhelmed her.

"Josh was born with cystic fibrosis. My mom stayed home to take care of him, and when he started going to school I sort of looked after him. We were…" Ray's voice trembled as a tear rolled gently down his cheek. He had never told anyone this before, and a part of him hated that Neela had to sit there and listen. Ray had pushed Josh out of his mind for so long that thinking about him now produced an avalanche of emotions that he couldn't control.

"…we were really close. Even though he was sick all the time, we still hung out together…basketball was his favorite sport. I taught him how to shoot free throws…" A weak smile spread across Ray's face. This was the first time that Ray had smiled when thinking about Josh since his death, a signal of the start of a process that would be sure to heal the old wounds he was hiding underneath his cool cover.

"He just collapsed at school one day and that was it. He was 14 when he died." A tremor ran through Neela as she heard his words. Putting two and two together, she now realized why Ray had been so upset when she told him Jamail's age. As if to physically see the thoughts running through Neela's mind, Ray attempted to explain himself.

"Neela, that night you told me Jay was coming to visit, I sort of freaked because it reminded me of my own brother. I've pretended that he didn't exist for so long that…it took just one sentence to put me in shock." Ray's eyes reflected a depth that Neela had never seen before; all she wanted to do was make his pain go away. And this time, she wasn't ashamed of her thoughts.

"And Jay's eyes…my brother's eyes were the same color…" Ray's voice had calmed to little more than a whisper. "My mother…she fell apart after he died. She just couldn't…I wasn't there for her, I couldn't help her…just like I couldn't help Josh. My dad left, and my mom remarried…my stepfather treated me like crap, so I left…but I should have stayed…and all I could do was just pretend Josh didn't exist, pretend I didn't have a brother…"

He was sitting next to her on his bed, his shoulders hunched, looking at her with agony in his eyes. Neela couldn't take it anymore—she had to do something. Not knowing what else she could do, Neela turned toward him and slowly placed her arms around him, enveloping Ray in a hug that exuded friendship, sympathy, and compassion. And…love. Ray seemed to feel it the instant Neela's eyes looked into his, without a word.

The tears began to roll freely now, all the guilt, sadness, and pain flowing out of his body and into Neela's, as if to share his burden. He felt like the weight of ten years had been lifted from his heart and a place had been created for something new.

Freeing himself from her embrace, Ray positioned his eyes on Neela and felt a wave of emotion run through him. Her face was glistening with tears as she returned his gaze. Refusing to hold himself back, Ray slowly leaned in and placed a gentle kiss on Neela's lips. He said what he had wanted to say without words: Thank you.

Neela smiled, her hand moving to brush away the remnant of a tear on his face. You're welcome.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Jamail had heard the wailing at the same time that Neela had, but seeing her walk into Ray's room stopped him from doing the same. He hoped Ray was okay, but at the same time, felt like something good was going to come out of whatever he was dealing with. Sure enough, he awoke the next morning to find Ray and Neela sitting at the kitchen table looking awfully…cozy. He had pulled the blanket halfway over his head and pretended to go back to sleep, but less than 10 seconds later, he was more than a little surprised to catch Neela giving Ray a gentle kiss on the cheek before getting up to go to her room. It's about time, he thought with a smile.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

"So Neela, did you sleep well last night?" Jamail had a hint of a grin in his voice as he looked at Neela across the table while eating his cereal.

"Umm, yeah I did…did you?" Neela was a little taken aback at his question; it wasn't something he usually asked her.

"Yeah, but I had the weirdest dream…I dreamt that you and Ray were sitting at the kitchen table…really close together…"

"Okay wise guy, just spit it out." Her brother could be really annoying sometimes. Then again, most brothers were.

Jamail looked at her with a knowing look. "All I want to say is…I'm happy for you. And I like him, he's a good guy."

Neela suddenly felt as if her younger brother had become an older brother overnight. It was actually very sweet. "Thanks," she said with a smile that revealed her newfound happiness.

O-O-O-O-O-O-O-O

Ray was working today, and Neela and Jamail had decided to spend the day at the park reigniting some of their soccer rivalry. Neela had played on her school team in Britain, and was one of the star players of the team. Jamail had followed in her footsteps and was now the top scorer for his team as well. Every time either of them visited, the two couldn't go without at least one game of one-on-one to put up on their perpetual tally board of wins and losses. It was a tradition.

"I hope you've brought your cleats because they're going to be the only thing left after I smoke you." Neela's eyes were burning with competitive fire.

"Oh yeah? Bring it on, old lady…" The one thing he knew would get his sister riled up was being called old by her 14-year-old brother. It did the trick every time.

"You didn't just call me old, you little…" Jamail ran with the soccer ball before Neela could finish her sentence, but not losing a moment, Neela ran after him in her sweatshirt and shorts, ready to make him pay.

Thirty minutes and two goals later Jamail was running across the field with the ball, with Neela blazing behind him and almost at his heels. She hadn't played this hard in far too long, and she was enjoying it more than words could express.

Expertly maneuvering the ball with his feet, Jamail broke into a run again in an attempt to shake Neela off his tail. But just as he was about to kick the ball into the goal, he felt an overwhelming sense of dizziness surround him as darkness forced his eyes shut—Jamail had collapsed.