Previously: My sobs have died down but I'm still crying. I'm not ready to turn around yet. And I still have to see Dawn and Spike.

(Bella POV)

It took a while but I've calmed down enough to turn around and meet the faces of my former family. Buffy is still on a silence charm. I walked right up to her

"You're a bitch Buffy, and not my sister. You never treated me like a sister and you never will so I'm erasing you out of my life. Nothing I do concerns you and is hot your business. I never was but you had to stick your nose in. I was happy with Spike and you took that away. That the reason Buffy. That's why I left Sunnydale. You put up a good act but I can see you don't care for anyone here, all you care about is yourself and your own needs" I leaned to whisper in her ear so no one could hear me but her.

"Just remember if it comes to fight, I would win and you know it. I was always more powerful, the better fighter but no one called you out on it. When you died, everything was better, we got more vampires and hardly anyone got hurt. You were and inconvenience and I bet you still are" I told Tara to remove the silencing charm. Buffy glared at me.

"Bitch, they brought me back. They searched for months to find the things they needed to bring me back. You think I'm an inconvenience? You always messed everything up. With you gone everything was better. No one had a spoilt brat to look after and Spike wasn't happy with you, it took 5 minutes of me seducing him for him to give in. he told me he never liked you, he used you so he could see me. He thought you we pathetic. You still are. He always talked about how you followed him around like a puppy and he told me how bad a lover you were and how great I was. You know on your birthday when we weren't there? We were screwing. We fucked all night in his crypt and he loved it." I didn't cry. I didn't scream. I didn't fight. I simply walked out of the shop, ignoring the protests behind me, walked to the car and drove off. I had a vampire to kill. Jasper tried to calm me down but I was too angry for his power to take effect. I didn't look angry, I looked perfectly calm but if you looked at my eyes they were stone cold black. I drove to Spike's crypt, took out my stake not even bothered that the Cullens knew I had it. I was numb with rage. I gripped the stake and walked into the crypt. I knew he would be here. He was asleep. I wanted him awake. I shook him awake. He awoke, game face on. A muscle twitched in my jaw. Buffy's words echoed in my head and every word got me angrier. His eyes widened when he realized it was me.

"Bella" he whispered. I rolled my eyes. I wanted to kill him but I wanted to speak to him first

"Spike" my voice was flat, no emotion could be detected in it.

"You came back" his face and voice showed joy, but I knew it was fake. It had to be.

"Yes" I kept my answer simple. He jumped u and tried to hug me but I moved the stake in front of me. He backed away and I advanced on him. I spoke very quietly, just above a whisper

"You used me. You used me to get to her." he looked confused. It's an act Bella, don't fall for it I told myself.

"What are you talking about Bells?" I hit him

"Don't call me Bells, you've lost the right" I told him through clenched teeth. He was backed against the wall and the stake's pointed end was placed upon his heart.

"Bella put the stake down" he said softly

"No" I said and pushed it in a little after moving it. Just enough to hurt him. He screamed and through me off him. I punched him in the jaw. We've never fought before at least physically and I knew he wasn't going to hit me unless I goaded him

"Come one Spike, hit me, I dare you" I told him mockingly. That didn't work. He just looked at me. His expression was sad.

"Fight back Spike, you can't hurt me you never could" that hit a nerve, like I knew it would. If Spike was challenged he never walked away from it. He tired to punch me in the chest but I blocked it and kicked him in the side. I heard the Cullens come in but I paid no attention to them. Spike charged at me and I did a flip over him onto his bed. I kicked him in the head and he went down. I punched him in the face again and again and again.

"You bastard. That's for telling her I was pathetic. That's for screwing her on my birthday. That's for saying I followed you around like a puppy. That's for making me trust you. And that's for making me believe you loved me" I stood up and kicked him. A single tear fell from my eye and onto his face, on his eyelid. His face was bruised and his eyes closed.

"I did love you. Still do" he whispered. Just loud enough for me to hear. I was confused. And angry. I know he doesn't love me so why say he does?

"I never told her those things. I never thought you were pathetic, you are the strongest, bravest most beautiful person I know. I went to find you that necklace on your birthday, I wasn't anywhere near her and if anything I followed you around. I only slept with her because I thought she was you and that was only once. She put a spell on herself to make her look like you. When I found out I was so disgusted with myself. I haven't contacted any of the gang since, except Dawn. I 've sat in here wallowing in my own misery, hoping you would come back. The worst part is I knew you knew, when you broke up with me that's when I knew. I could see it in your eyes. You're a pretty good liar Bells but I know you, better than anyone else could ever know you. I know you probably hate me now but please know and understand that I love you. I never stopped loving you and I never will and I know that deep down you love me too. If you don't want to admit it that's fine but I know you still love me. We belong together" I was openly crying and I couldn't stop the tears. I could hear Alice and Rose and Esme and Jasper sniffling. That's when he started singing,

If our love was a fairytale

I would charge in and rescue you

On a yacht baby we would sail

To an island where we'd say I do

And if we had babies they would look like you

It'd be so beautiful if that came true

You don't even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless

You're everything good in my life

You leave me breathless

I still can't believe that you're mine

You just walked out of one of my dreams

So beautiful you're leaving me

Breathless

And if our love was a story book

We would meet on the very first page

The last chapter would be about

How I'm thankful for the life we've made

And if we had babies they would have your eyes

I would fall deeper watching you give life

You don't even know how very special you are

You leave me breathless

You're everything good in my life

You leave me breathless

I still can't believe that you're mine

You just walked out of one of my dreams

So beautiful you're leaving me

Breathless

You must have been sent from heaven to earth to change me

You're like an angel

The thing that I feel is stronger than love believe me

You're something special

I only hope that I'll one day deserve what you've given me

But all I can do is try

Every day of my life

You leave me breathless

You're everything good in my life

You leave me breathless

I still can't believe that you're mine

You just walked out of one of my dreams

So beautiful you're leaving me

Breathless

I know Edward sung that to me in biology but it sounded better coming from him and more real. I really loved Spike I really do but it's not fair to Edward, I'll have to lie to him.

"Spike" I leant down to his level. He opened his eyes and I knew that it must hurt but he did it anyway. I moved his hair back from his forehead..

"I love you. But I want to be with Edward" he smiled faintly and looked into my eyes

"I understand. It's good enough that you said you loved me" I kissed him. I kissed him not caring the Cullens were watching. It was a sweet kiss and we knew it meant goodbye. We poured all our emotions into the kiss and I started crying again. We pulled away, I wiped away my tears from his face and he caught my hand. He kissed it before he let it fall and I stood up. I helped him up and into his chair

"I love you Spike" I whispered. I could see the tears in his eyes. They were full of love and hurt and heartbreak. I hated doing this to him.

"I love you Bells" I didn't hit him for calling me Bells and I knew he noticed because he smiled and closed his eyes. I left him there. Rose and Alice hugged me and didn't let go until we got to the car. I requested we go back to the magic shop we had to stop people singing and combusting. The ride was silent and I took the time to compose myself. It was night so they walked into the magic shop with me. I was surprised to see Angel there. And Cordelia. And Doyle. Despite my heartbreak I launched myself at Doyle. When I left Sunnydale I went to L.A to tell Angel what had happened. I stayed there for a while and got to know Doyle better. Me and Cordelia were shopping buddies. I went on missions with them so Cordelia bought me a whole wardrobe full of boots and leather. I loved it, except it reminded me of Spike. He may have cheated bit I never took off his necklace. It was a silver heart with a cross inside, obviously silver. I fell in love with it at first sight. I clutched in in my fingers. Doyle knew all of this of course. I may have to speak to him layer. I could trust him not to tell anybody. Edward spoke

"Bella, who are these people and why can't I read they're mind?" he sounded annoyed

"They are my family" I told him firmly.

"Why don't any of you have a heartbeat" Angel asked them. The Cullens glanced at each other and said nothing, everyone but Alice

"Why don't you?" Angel was silent. I sighed

"I guess it's time you knew about my life. Promise not to say anything until I have finished" everyone nodded. I told them my story. Growls could be heard every now and again, mostly from Edward. Everyone sat in shock

"So you are telling me they are vampires" Angel and Edward asked at the same time. I was to exhausted to laugh.

"Yes" I said

"But they have there souls?" Angels asked he sound envious

"How many times do I have to tell you, every vampire has a soul, they just think they lose it because they think of themselves as monsters which they aren't, well most of them" my mind flashed to Victoria. I took care of her and had fun doing it. I'll admit she can hide but being a witch helped in my favor. There was a squeal from the door. Dawn's here.

Hope you liked that chapter,

Did I get the emotional part down?

Please review and tell me how I did.

Xx

Kathryn