Ross and Emily had been dating for quite some time now and Rachel had definitely noticed the change in his attitude and she was happy for him, but she also knew that Emily in didn't seem to like the fact that she and Ross were best friends. For the most part everything had been running smoothly and the only arguments the couple seemed to get into were about Rachel, but tonight they were having dinner to celebrate Ross's new job offer at NYU.

"I'm so proud of you honey," Emily gushed. They all watched as she kissed Ross again and Rachel took another a sip of her wine, hoping to make the night go faster.

"Yeah congrats buddy. Now you can bore other people with dinosaurs," Chandler says jokingly causing everyone to laugh and at this Rachel stands up to make a toast.

"Well it's always nice to see wonderful things happen to good people. You're the sweetest guy I know." Chandler coughs when he hears this but Rachel continues her speech. " I don't know what I would do without you so here's to an amazing guy who deserves all the success in the world. To Ross."

"To Ross," they all say.

Rachel watched as Ross took as sip of his wine and found herself daydreaming the longer she gazed at him. His hair was gelled to perfection with the a few waves in the front. Rachel herself had picked out the suit he was wearing, making him more handsome than ever since his eyes seem to pop out even more.

She was snapped out of her daydream as she watched Emily scoot closer to him and she cringed as she watched Emily stroke his cheek.

"I swear you just have the most gorgeous eyes. They're to die for."

"Well that's why he always got away with everything when we were kids. Ross never got in trouble," Monica teased.

Having enough of their public display of affection, Rachel announces she has to go the bathroom and leaves the table. She walked into the bathroom and thankfully she was alone. She was more confused than anything and doesn't know what has gotten into her. She should be happy that Ross had Emily.

She combed her hair a bit and watched as the golden strands fell back into place, hoping to calm herself down, but that changed when she saw Monica enter the bathroom and Rachel instantly turned to her.

"What are you doing here?"

Monica raised her eyebrows at Rachel's tone, but answered her question.

"Emily's nice and everything, but does she have to attack his face every five seconds?"

Rachel didn't respond, but continued to brush her hair and Monica started to wonder if Emily was the reason for Rachel's sudden mood change.

"I know we've been friends for a long time Rach, but I also know that you and Ross have always been closer so if you need to tell him something then you should do it."

"Like what Monica?"

"Like if you think of him as more than a friend."

She put her brush down and contemplated her friend's suggestion

"Well you're wrong Monica. Ross is just my friend and that's all he'll ever be. Besides he's happy with Emily."

"I'm just saying it wouldn't be the worst thing in the world right? I mean I know for a fact that he thinks about you more than her."

"And how do you know that?"

Monica rolled her eyes at Rachel's naivness and started listing things.

"He's always staring at you, he gets jealous at the mention of you with another guy, and he's happier when he's with you than when he's with Emily."

"Monica your exaggerating."

"I'm not. What's so bad about Ross? Does he not qualify? Is he not experienced enough," Monica added defensively.

"What do you mean by that?"

"I'm just saying Chip wasn't exactly a good guy. We both know why he dated you."

"So you're saying I only date guys for sex," Rachel asked.. Monica hears the tone in Rachel's voice and her expression softens a bit.

"It's not that Rach it's just… well some of your exes weren't exactly…"

"I get it okay," she snapped.

"Rachel I'm sorry I didn't mean it like that. I'm just saying if all those jerks were good enough then why isn't Ross?"

"I don't know Mon," Rachel sighed.

"Because Chandler asked me if you two were ever more than friends, but I told him no. Am I wrong?"

Rachel remains silent as her mind travels back to five years ago. She takes a deep breath, but she refuses to let her eyes meet Monica's.

"You know the night before Ross left for London? Remember you had a party for him at your parents house."

"Yeah," Monica says, not knowing where Rachel is going.

"We kind of umm… please promise you won't tell anyone."

"I won't. I promise."

"That includes Chandler," Rachel says sternly.

"I promise I won't. Just tell me."

"We kinda slept together."

Monica eyes widened in shock and the look on her face was absolutely priceless. For a brief moment she thought Rachel was joking, but when she sees the look on Rachel's face, she realizes she was dead serious.

Oh my god! You and Ross. Wait why?"

"It's really complicated Monica," Rachel muttered, her face becoming more flushed by the minute.

"We have time."

"Well you know we always did everything together right?" At this Monica nodded her head and Rachel continued. "I wanted it to be special and Ross was leaving so we thought it was the perfect way to say goodbye."

"But I still don't get why you guys did it. It doesn't make any…"

"It was my first time Monica," Rachel says quietly.

"Oh."

"It was his too."

"Oh. I understand now"

"I know it doesn't make much sense, but I was scared. My best friend was leaving and he was going to be all the way in London. I didn't want him to forget me." Rachel started crying when she remembered how depressed she was after he had left and Monica went to hug her.

"Rachel he could never forget you. He adored you, he still does."

"Yeah I guess so."

"Come on Rachel this is my brother. He would do anything for you. I'm sure it meant the world to him too."

"I hope so."

"So even after all that you still don't like him more than a friend."

"I don't know anymore. It's weird I mean I know he had girlfriends before, but it never bothered me this much. When he's with her I can't even look at him."

"So do you love him."

"Of course I love him Monica, he's my best friend."

"I mean are you in love with him."

"I don't know. I thought I was, but I just… how can you be in love with someone you've known your whole life and not know?"

Monica shrugged her shoulder, not sure what to say to Rachel anymore.

"I don't know, but I do know that they aren't a lot guys like my brother left, so if you do love him then say something. I'd much rather see you with him than Emily and with that Monica gave her a small smile before leading them out the bathroom.

They made it back to their table and were greeted to the site of Emily practically sitting in Ross's lap with her arms wrapped around him. Monica looked at Rachel to see her eyes filling with tears, something that Ross didn't notice right away.

"I think I'm gonna head home, I don't feel well," Rachel said quickly before she grabbed her purse and dashed out the restaurant. Monica whispered in Chandler's ear and went after her, much to everyone else's confusion.

When he saw that Monica and Rachel had left, Ross tried to get up, but was having much difficulty because Emily refused to move.

"Ross I'm sure she's fine. Can't you just relax for a minute? She's not dying."

"Emily she's my friend. I have go see if she's okay." He finally managed to get her off and went after Monica and Rachel and Emily sulked in her seat.

"So that was interesting," Chandler joked, trying to lighten the mood, but all he did was earn a glare from Emily.

Meanwhile Monica and Rachel were outside of the restaurant. Rachel was now in tears and Monica was now trying to console her.

"I'm too late Monica. It doesn't even matter if I'm in love with him because he has her. They're going to end up getting married and having children."

Monica patted her back and tried to comfort Rachel, who was getting even more upset by the second.

"Don't say that Rachel. I know for a fact that he's loves you. I'm sure if you just tell him the truth then…" She stopped in mid-sentence when she saw her brother coming towards them.

"Rach what's wrong."

"Nothing's wrong. I don't feel good." She moved her head down and refused to meet his eyes.

"Rach you're crying," Ross said softly. Monica, unsure what to do, doesn't say a word.

"Allergies Ross, that's all. I'm about to walk home anyways," she sniffed and he objected to it at once.

"No way you're walking home by yourself. You're taking a cab."

"Our apartment is 5 minutes away. I can walk."

"If you're walking then I'm taking you home," Ross says sternly.

"I don't need you to babysit me, I can go myself. Besides you don't want to keep Emily waiting," Rachel says coldly. Ross doesn't pick up on the tone of her voice, but was getting annoyed with the fact that she wouldn't tell him what was wrong.

"Emily will wait for me. It's too dangerous to walk by yourself at night Rachel." Their eyes met and she knew he was referring to the night when that drunken guy had tried to take advantage of her. Rachel open her mouth in protest, but Monica interrupted her.

"He's right Rachel."

"Fine! I'll take a cab. I don't need you to escort me everywhere I go," she snapped.

"What is your problem," Ross finally yelled, causing a few passerby's to stare at him, but Ross ignored them.

"I'm fine. Why don't you and Emily go enjoy yourselves. It's your night after all."

"Rachel will you please tell me what's wrong. I don't know what I did and you're starting to make me feel guilty. So if I did anything wrong will you please tell me," he begged.

Rachel glanced at Monica, silently asking her for help, but all she does is mouth the words "tell him." Rachel shakes her head and looks back at Ross, who is anxiously waiting for an answer.

"You didn't do anything. I just need to get some sleep." They watched as she hopped into a taxi and as it sped off.

Ross leans against the side of the building, guilt weighing on him heavily. Monica took one look at her brother and she knew he was thinking of Rachel.

"I don't get it Monica. What did I do?"

"You didn't do anything Ross. Rachel's just going through difficult stuff. It's not your fault"

"Then why do I feel so guilty? You know I can't stand to see her cry. I feel horrible."

"Everything's going to be fine." Monica tried to get him to smile, but it was no use. She patted him on the back and went inside.

Ross looked up and watched the clouds in the sky. He felt a raindrop hit the top of his head, but he refused to remove from his spot. He saw Emily coming towards him and she looked extremely annoyed.

"Ross I've been waiting for 10 minutes. Come on," she said pulling his hand. He reluctantly went back into the restaurant, but the night does not go well. He couldn't stop thinking about a certain blue eyed and blonde haired beauty waiting for him at home. He knew he would have to talk to Rachel soon.