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Chapter nine- Another love I would abuse

EPOV

How could this have happened. For the last fifty years since I had left Bella I had been feeling sorry for myself. Missing her terribly wishing I had made a different choice. this was all my fault I had done this too her. I did not deserve her and yet she was still frightened that now that she had found me I would leave her again. I would never leave her again.

Jasper sensed my angish and sent me a wave of calm in which I was extremly thankful for. I couldn't believe that she had been involved in the southern wars, but there was bites on her neck and a few on her face. These were the only places that were uncovered and they were consitant with the life of someone who had been in a vampire army.

When she had finished I could see that she was visably thirsty and knew she should go hunting. I was shocked when she offered us to join her. And even more shocked when Jasper said that he needed too and that he needed to talk to her. I tried too search his mind but he was blocking me. This made me worried to which he sent a wave of calm my way.

'Don't worry Edward I just need to say sorry about what happened at her birthday party' he thought to me. And I managed to take a deep breath of calm. I watched my angel walk out of the room and knew that she would be back.

After what felt like an eternity Jasper and Emmett came back without Bella, they were now both blocking me and I was on my feet instantly.

"Where is she?" I almost growled. Emmett looked at me shocked and stopped in his tracks.

"Calm down Edward, she is fine." Jasper said and tried sending me a wave of calm too which I fought back.

"If she is fine than where is she and why are you blocking me?" this time I did growl and Esme reprimanded me. I ignored her.

"She lied too us before Edward, she was never in any southern war army. I knew straight away, when she told us. When we went too hunt I confronted her about it. She ran off and Emmett found me." Jasper told me.

I saw red then. "Are you an idiot, she ran and you just let her go. You come back here. Instead?" I yelled. I almost took a lunged for Jasper when alice suddenly jumped onto my back and whispered in my ear.

"Don't you dare Edward, I saw that. I've also seen that she is going to come back so pipe it down now!" her voice was deadly and made me calm down.

"Rosalie went after her man," Emmett said too me "from what I heard she needs her."

Since Rosalie pulled this family back together before I trusted her completely. I sat down on the couch and the others all gathered round. Carlisle left for work and I sat in silence.

Jasper and Emmett still didn't let on what Bella had said too them and I was starting too go out of my mind. Bella had lied too us and I wanted too know why. Jasper sensed my worry and tried to calm me.

"Listion Edward, I will tell you what she said but I need you too stay calm. You remember that I told you once about what it was like in the south?" I nodded "Do you remember when I told you about the really dark places in the south, the places where females are not equal to men." He whispered.

I nodded confused, I searched his head again and saw his conversation with Bella.

"No, that can't be." I pleaded with him, he got up and came towards me grabbing and squeezing my hands.

My poor beautiful Bella did not deserve that.

BPOV

I ran from him and did not stop. My memories were beginning too consume my mind again and I did not want to ever stop I reached the river again. The one I woke up near, that was when I stopped. I looked at myself in the mirror of water and screamed I pulled at my hair. I needed this pain to disapear. I didn't want to have to deal with I anymore.

I pulled my sleave up and put my wrist to my mouth. I had done this so many times when I felt like this and it always helped. I bit done hard and felt the venom in my mouth flow into my body. It hurt like hell but it destrated me from my memories and I began to sink to my knees. The angry fire travelled to the crease of my elbow and resigned there.

I gasped when I felt a gentle hand on my shoulder, I turned around and found myself looking into the soft eyes of Rosalie; as beautiful as ever. She looked at me then my arm. When she saw my fresh bite, she grabbed my wrist. I yelped and tried to pull it back from her, but her grip was stronger than mine.

"Oh Bella, what did you do that for?" She whispered gently while ripping some fabric from her tshirt and wrapping it around the bite. I took my shoes of and dipped my feet in the water. The veiw was beautiful. Rosalie sat with me looked me over. As I sat there memories began too creep back up as the pain in my arm receded. I knew Rosalie would stop me if I went to hurt myself again so I let myself remember.

I was on the floor in the dark room that I had not left in about four months. Riley had done his worst to me this time. He thought I would bow down as I had so many times before, but I had gained back some willpower sitting the dark. When Riley entered he thought I would comply with his need to feel me up. I surprised him by hitting him in the chest. Since I had been in this room I had not had a single drop of blood and my strenght was almost unexistant. He did not like that at all and before I could do anything he had ripped of my arm and both of my legs. The pain shot straight to my head and I gritted my teath refusing to allow him to the satisfaction of hearing me whimper.

He then forced him on me, the pain of him being inside me hurt worse than the pain of having my legs ripped off. As I lay there with him panting above me, I blamed myself. I was weak and an easy target. I subcombed to him too easily and was now trapped. When he left I couldn't move, venom began to leak down my face. My limbs where still unattached and I could not even sit up. I wondered how long he would keep me like this…

I looked towards Rosalie who seemed too be waiting for me too speak. But I didn't know what too say. Did she know what I'd said, what Jasper said? Did she hate me even more now?

"I know what your thinking Bella, I heard what you and Jasper spoke about. And I know what this means." Rosalie decided too speak first.

"I guess you hate me more now. But Jasper deosn't know what he is talking about." I whispered.

She put her hand on my shoulder and looked at me, I was shocked.

"I have never hated you Bella and never could. You are the heart of this family, when we left you are family died. We have only just got it back. I'm not going to make you talk too me. but I know what its feels like too be violated. To loose control. I want to help you. And the rest of the family does as well." She spoke sofly and looked into my eyes, there was only kindness and sympathy present.

"I need you too make a choice Bella. We will help you, but you need to choose too come back too the house with me. it's the only way we can help you."

I knew that she was saying she would not force me too come back and that I could trust her, but I did not know if I had it in me too make a decision.

"While we sit here though let me tell you my story." She added.

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