Oh, yes, the damn disclaimer: seriosuly, do we really have to do it? Because, Jeez, if I'd own them, I'd not be here writing it, I'd be the writeer of a TV Shows and, well, we'd have the LIsbon romance for real...meanwhile, I just "write, draw, create, dream, hope and believe in Bruno, waiting for him to be blessed by the light of reason..." (No, this discalimer isn't mine, it belongs to one of the girls who wite Mentalist fiction on the italian site efpfiction, but don't tell me many of you don't share this vision...).
Thanks to everyone who left a review or put me on fav and-or alerts. Even if I'd like to receive more reviews, good or bad ones it doesn't matter, you still make my day. In particualr, I'd like to say thank you to my "jisbon pal" jisbon4ver, who reds many of my things, always leave a review, write amazing things and inspires even few of my works!
A/n:This one will have almost anything in common with the original Dickens story, and again, if you never read the original Christmas carol, do it, you'll not regret it!
ACT SIX OR THE END OF IT
When the Ghost releases his grip on him, Jane suddenly jolts awake, and finds himself in his bed yet again, covered in sweat, his breathing erratic, his pupils dilated, but him mind and hear as clear as never before…
The first thing he does, it's checking the time and the date through his alarm clock, and scared the day, and the chance to make up for his mistakes, could have passed. He doesn't want to go through that again. He doesn't want for Lisbon to go through what he saw, and he has every intentions of doing everything in his power to avoid her, their, tragic fate. He has the power of changing both their lives, now he knows it, and if there's something that can be said about him it's that he is very perseverant in what he does, was it lying and manipulating or, like in this case, his life's new obsession, his ultimate mission.
Making Lisbon happy, helping her, saving her soul a bit every day, it's his new mission, his ultimate goal in existence, the only way to save himself again, to avoid his father's sordid destiny.
The day he realized how deep his feelings for Lisbon were was the day she had been framed for murder, and there was nothing about happiness in that day. He didn't felt relief in admitting what part of him already knew, even back then. The only thing he felt was fear and the only thing he did for a long time was denying the existence of said emotions, buried deep within his very soul.
Not even trying to date someone else (Kristina) worked. He still remembers clearly running (escaping) into the bathroom, looking at his reflection in the mirror, and playing with his ring, thinking about how wrong was even only the mere thought of removing it for that charlatan.
He'd remove it for Teresa in an instant, if only she'd ask him to. He is sure of it, like he is sure she'll never ask him to. She'd never ask him to let it go completely, to forget, not even were they dating. She is not that kind of person. She is not a charlatan like Kristina, she is a beautiful soul, the brightest light he has ever seen, a light shining in front of everyone she meets to show them their way. She is the guiding light in his storming sea, she is a healer. She is the only reason he is still alive, because she always saves him, she saves him from the evil of the world and she saves him from his own darkness.
It's kind of ironic now, that he thinks about it, how right she has always been. She has always told him she was the one in control of "their situation". She has always told him she was going to stop him from doing something that stupid like killing Red John. She has always told him she wasn't going to allow him to, and even if he kept telling her the contrary, it comes out she was right, and that he was wrong.
It's really ironic, now that he thinks about it. He has told her he was going to always save her, but it's quite the contrary. He is the one who is going to save her- and saving himself in the process.
He finally releases the breath he was too aware he was taking, smiling a bit, and crying tears of happiness as he thinks of the gift his father left him. It seems that the situation is getting more ironic by the minute, because his father never left him anything if not his conning abilities when alive, and now that he is that sort of afterlife, he has given him the best gift a father could provide a son with.
Alexander Jane has provided his son of a second shot at life- and love.
"I will never forget my past, my present and my future, dad, but I'll no longer allow someone else's actions to contaminate the good memories I have of what it once was… nor I'll allow his shadow to contaminate my present and my future. The three spirits and their lesson will never leave my heart, dad. I swear to God and on Christmas, I'll be the man I now know I can be, I'll the man Teresa deserves me to be, the man she needs me to be. I may not be worth her yet, but I'll eventually be, you have my word!"
His voice is low, almost broken, so much Jane has cried in the last few hours, during the unusual course of events, and he is pretty sure Lisbon, Teresa, will notice it looking into his eyes, still red and puffy for the tears, tears cried not only for himself, but for her. He has never thought about it, never really thought about the fact that his actions, his desire for vengeance, will have such repercussions on her. He knows he has always endangered her carrier, but her life, in such a way?
He has never really thought that his "plan" would, eventually, break her, destroy her, kill her, but now he knows what the Ghost of the Christmas Future, the reaper, showed him. He knows his end will eventually be hers as well, and there's no way he is going to allow that.
After all, hasn't he promised Lisbon to always save her, of not hurting her, of always being there for her? Maybe it's time he starts to follow his own advice, and keeps up to his word…
His hands are busy in removing what his nigh clothes, and he is already searching for something to wear, and something different from his trademark 3 pieces. Just for once, though, just for today, and just for Lisbon.
One change at time he thinks with a smile and tears of happiness.
"Do I know what to do? I'm not sure I know what to do!" he says the words aloud, laughing and crying in the same breath, finally managing to put on a pair of grey stockings while emptying his drawers in search of a sweater he knows he has somewhere there- it's plain grey, he knows it's not such a change, but it goes along very well with the black, grey stripped shirt he knows Lisbon loves so much-the one she can't stop starring at when he wears it. "I am as light as a feather, I am as happy as an angel; I am as merry as a schoolboy. I am as giddy as a drunken man…, and… I know what to do, but… am I still in time?" completely clothed, with a pair of dark jeans and running shoes (ok, Maybe I'm more into this "let's change" kind of scenario more than I care to admit…) he paces for the whole house, his eyes ending always on the small details that remind him of the previous night and its events…
"That' the door by Dad's ghost entered. There's the corner where the Ghost of Christmas Present sat. There's the window where I saw the wandering Spirits. It's all right; it's all true, it all happened… and if I'm lucky enough, I'll be able to change the future and save Lisbon and myself!"
He laughs again, an honest to God laughter, and it's so weird, because for a man who has been out of practice for so many years, it was a splendid laugh, a most illustrious laugh…. And the only thing Patrick Jane can think of it's how right it feel to laugh again, to laugh, to love and too live again… suddenly, he feels like this is just the first of a long, long line of brilliant laughs to come!
With his heart exploding in his chest, he runs to the window, opening it and putting out his head: there's no fog, no mist, it's clear, bright, and jovial. The sunlight shines on his skin like ray made of pure gold, the whole sky is like heaven, and the air is sweet and fresh. And the bells… he has probably never been so happy to hear the sound of the bells. The only word to describe it is glorious-the same he has always used to describe Lisbon, only with himself, thought.
He runs back inside, not really knowing what to do what he really would like to do. He paces again the room, and finds his mobile, turning it off with the mere objective of checking the time and day. He has spent so long with the Ghosts, wondering through time and space, that he really doesn't know any longer what day or time it's supposed to be.
"It's Christmas Day!" he says to himself happy like a child in candy land "I haven't missed it! The Spirits have done it all in one night.… They can do anything they like, of course they can! I'm still in time to be with Teresa!" When he calls her with her given name, his heart explodes with Joy, realizing maybe just now what he should have seen coming a long time ago.
He runs to his car, driving as fast as he can, faster than usual, even, to be with her, at her side.
Because he wants to be at home, and the only home he knows, he understands it now, it's where Teresa Lisbon is. She has him, body and soul, and she hasn't seen this one coming. He knows he has broken her heart, mocking her because she tried her best to remember the good Christmases of her life instead of the ones she had after she turned 12. He hasn't understood it until the ghosts showed him what he probably knew all along, deep down, but never dared to admit, for fear of rejection and of losing her.
Now, he knows better. Now he knows that he'll lose her if he'll not do something about it, of he'll not tell her the truth, the whole truth. He should have never lied to her in the first place. When she asked him if Red John had said something, he should have said of the poem, and how he had quoted what he and Kristina had said while they were having dinner. He should have said of the unregistered gun he was secretly keeping in the attic. He should have said of what Todd told him, how he quoted Red John's words. He should tell her of how he has changed his mind, and he'll never kill him, not if will mean their end, figuratively speaking or literally.
He should have and he still should, he knows he it, but he hopes he'll have the time to do it, because, as important as all these facts may be, there's something that's more important than everything else, something he should have done a long time ago, something he has decided it will be his new mission in life.
He has promised to always save her. He has promised to never hurt her. He has promised to be there for her, no matter what. And now, pacing in front of her doorstep, he has decided that he'll always make her happy, no matter what. He'll make her smile, and he'll be the only one who will make her smile.
"Lisbon!" he cries out with all his energy, shouting, as, after almost fifteen minutes, at the time of half past six, he finally finds the courage to call for her.
"What the hell is going on!" the door is now wide open, and Lisbon is standing there, in front of him, with furious eyes (so much for Christmas), as grumpy as never before, probably because she didn't have the time to take her double dose of morning caffeine. She looks wild, with semi-closed dark green eyes and dark curls that are going everywhere but where she wants them. And she is just wearing a thin Christmas themed robe over one of her Jersey, the Chicago bull's one. "Jane, I should have seen that coming. Only you can show up at half past six on Christmas Day, when even the kids are still asleep."
He looks at her, grinning, with tears in his eyes, as he doesn't do as he'd like, holds her, hugging her, no, he simply puts his hands on her forearms and keeps them there, looking at her crying, drinking in the sight of her, of Teresa, alive, in his arms (kind of).
"I've come to lunch, if the offer still stands" he says seriously, almost begging, with questioning eyes, looking into Lisbon's orbs, like they were the most beautiful thing in the whole world, and for him, they were, always have, always will. "Unfortunately, I have no gifts, there's just me."
When he says this words with a smile that reaches his eyes, Lisbon can't take it any longer, and, her arms around his neck, she throws herself at him, in tears, talking between sobs, as Jane, crying as well, breathing in her cinnamon scent, draws invisible patterns on her back. "All I wanted for Christmas was you, Patrick"
At the mere mention of his given name, Jane tightens the grip on her, and, if his tears were previously silent, as he holds Lisbon like for dear life, he sobs just like her, wishing to never let it go of her.
"Ehy, Tess, who was at the door, why aren't you…" Carol Lisbon emerges from the doorway, and her casual talk ends as she sees first the two of them holding each other, and then Teresa physically "alienating" herself from the grip of the Cheshire-cat grinning Jane "Oh, I'm so sorry, I didn't mean to interrupt. I think I'll come back inside, so that you could continue whatever you were going to continue and…"
"NO! It's not how it seems!" Teresa says, panicking a bit, red as a tomato "Carol, this is my team's consultant and friend, Patrick Jane"
"OH MY GOD, YOU ARE THE PATRICK JANE! JIM, ANDY, TOMMY! YOU HAVE TO MEET HIM! THERE'S PATRICK JANE AND HE IS REAL AND HE IS JUST AS HANDSOME AS I THOUGHT HE WAS! I TOLD YOU THEY HAD SOMETHING GOING ON BUT YOU DIDN'T LISTEN TO ME! AND NOW HE IS HERE! WHAT ARE WAITING FOR! LET'S COME HERE! OH MY GOD, THEY ARE SO CUTE TOGETHER, AND SHE TOLD HIM THE NICEST THINGS!" She screams in enthusiasm as she comes back into the house, running from room to room to provide the new gossip, as Teresa, still on her patio, doesn't know if turning redder of getting as pale as a ghost, and is still lost in her track, unable to breath, while Jane, grinning more and more, smiling, nuzzles her neck while putting a protective arm around her shoulders, and softly kisses her hair, while Teresa decides that yes, she'll turn as red as never before. But, still, she enjoys this display of affection from Jane, because it does feel sincere, and besides… maybe it was just a kiss on the hair, but she could feel him smiling on her scalp, she can still feel the point burning, like on fire.
"Your sister-in-law just called me handsome, Teresa. Aren't you jealous?" he laughs, light as never before, still holding her securely.
"My sister-in-law Carol is pregnant, Jane, she could find Frankenstein's monster fascinating, so, don't patting yourself on the shoulders just because she said you are handsome." She stops to laugh along him, and turns in his embrace, her arms again around his neck, her hands busy feeling his features and she is suddenly serious, but, so sweet, that he feels like he could melt into her embrace right there and then. "Patrick, what are you doing here?"
"You said I shouldn't be alone on Christmas day, and I should spend it with the people I care about. And you were right. That's why I'm here, where I want to be." He almost whispers, his breath hot on her skin, still holding each other.
"Really?" she still asks, she needs to know, to be sure, because… because she cares too much about him, and she couldn't stand being played by him, being fooled by him, not by Patrick, not by the man who fills her heart with so much different emotions.
He nods, before going on and ending his speech. "Yes, but, there's something you were wrong about. When you said you wanted us to be friends… and to behave like friends… I thought about it, and I realized I don't want it, I don't' want us to be friends." He looks at her, shifting in his arms, becoming tense, he can sees the tears, no longer of happiness, but of sadness, of desperation.
She hasn't understood the meaning of his words.
So, to keep her there, with him, in his arms, in that moment, he does the only thing he can think of- he kisses her.
His hands are still on her forearms, hers still on his face. Their eyes are closed, their breathings are erratic, and their pulse couldn't even be measured, so fast it is, as they live, for the first time, the sensation of lips on lips, their lips on each other's lips, slow, sweet, sensual and deep… like an ocean of love, all around them, all inside them, one time, two times, and then, until they are joined outside the door by her family, and just then they stop, to look at each other, to stare at each other with bright eyes and great smiles. And even then, they seal, before entering in the building holding hands, the new beginning with a last kiss, a small peck on the lips that says everything there's need to say about what happened and what will happen between them.
And in the years to come, Patrick Jane will keep all his promises, do and infinitely more. He'll become an even better friend to the Team and Teresa in particular, with whom he'll eventually share his own life and the ones of the children who'll join them in the voyage that's life. He'll become a brother to Andrew, James and Thomas in particular, helping them and being there for their children like they'll be his owns. He'll became a better man, a good man, the man he has always knew he could be but never had enough courage to change into him.
Some people will laugh to see the alteration in him, but he'll leave them laugh, because his own heart will laugh, and that was quite enough for him, and he'll not have further intercourse with Spirits, he'll never see his father again, but he'll live never forget them, always keeping the promises he made them, and their lessons, inside him, and it will be said of him that he knows how to keep Christmas well and the whole year.
And, as he tells Teresa still holding her, while drinking cider, with Tommy remarking that he knew that had to be something between them otherwise he'd not been invited, "Merry Christmas, Happy New Year, and God bless us, every one!"
THE END