Clare drove as fast as she could away from the scene. She couldn't even look in the rear view mirror, it was too hard. It was Monday now, she had lost her boyfriend of nearly six years and fiance of two weeks. It amazed her how that couldn't be enough pain but now her best friend was trapped somewhere he didn't belong. She went to the only place she thought she could go, to her fathers condo. She had canceled on him yesterday for their weekly crossword puzzle date. She sighed pulling into the driveway, wiping the last of the tears from her eyes and stepping out of the car.

The breeze from the cool fall weather stung her raw eyes from all the crying she had just done, even her cheeks felt a bit of the sting. She tightened her coat around her making her way to the door she knocked softly waiting for her father to answer. She stood there looking to the ground when the door finally opened. "Clare bear, what a pleasant sur-" Randal stopped mid sentence to grab his daughter arm and pull her into a hug. She cried softly into his chest and he tried to give her comforting hug. Helen had explained everything to him over the phone the other night, he knew the whole situation but he didn't know how to make it better, that's what killed him. Still after all these years he felt incredibly guilty that he and Helen divorced, rocking Clare and Darcy's whole world.

"I'm so lost dad" Clare sniffled.

"I know, I wish I could do something for you" he sighed "But lets start by getting you out of the doorway and inside" he gave her a sympathetic smile.

They walked inside and Clare sat down on the couch leaving her hands to rest neatly in her lap. Her dad came over with a can of soda and she laughed. "You know mom usually makes me tea when I'm sad" Randal laughed as well shaking his head "Well, I only have berry tea right now and we both know that you're allergic"

"Hot chocolate then? Apple cider? Come on dad you're slacking." she teased it was the happiest she had felt in the last couple days. It was just something about coming to see her dad that made her feel a little better.

"I don't suppose you came here to make up for missing the crossword puzzle though" he commented taking a sip of his own soda.

Clare smiled feebly shaking her head "Not exactly, I just didn't know where else to go. See, Adam I mean Eli well no Adam.. he was able to come home today but I couldn't handle it"

"I see, so you left him there?"

"Right, I shouldn't of because he's confused too. He thinks he's Eli,he has no idea he is actually Adam." She sighed placing her soda can on the table.

"Maybe, you should see my buddy at your school, you know Scott Mohr"

"He teaches at Ryerson,I thought he taught in Hamilton at Mcmaster ? "

"He did, but he got a better job opportunity at your school, I thought I mentioned it to you" Randal smiled and shrugged.

"No you didn't, but yeah maybe...he knows a lot about the paranormal. Maybe it will help"

"Its worth a shot Clare Bear, I'm actually going to meet up with him for dinner in a few. Do you want to join us?"

Clare pondered that for a moment, the faster she could get answers the better her chances were of helping Adam get back to himself. Her dad though, she didn't want to take away any fun he might be able to have while she hounded his friend with questions. "No, thanks Dad. I think I just want to take a shower and nap... is it okay if I stay here tonight?" she asked

"Everything is as you left it, but I better get going now. He's expecting me soon." He chuckled getting up and walking to Clare giving her a tight squeeze. "My little girl all grown up, you'll see though it will all work out" Clare laughed softly and blushed at her dads cheesy comment. "Thanks Dad" she gave him a soft smile pulling out of the hug. She headed back towards the bedroom and into where her room was.

Five years ago during her Senior year, Darcy finally came home from Africa. Clare had been so excited, she never expected to already have a nephew on the way and Darcy to be married to Ryan though. That had shocked the living daylights out of everyone, he was someone she met in Africa they had volunteered together. He had gone to Bardell, so all this time they were close and didn't even know it, they were perfect together. Darcy didn't want to stay in Canada though, it still held bad memories for her. Clare watched her sister go through depression while she was here, they stayed maybe for two months before,Ryan came up with the solution of moving to New way they wouldn't be too far but away enough. Helen didn't like the idea of Darcy raising a child while struggling through a depression so she went away too, to live near them. Helen fell in love with it and a man deciding to stay and start over in New York but when she left they had to sell the house.

That was the worst part for Clare was, she really thought her sisters depression, her mother leaving, her parents divorce and losing the house were going to be the hardest things she ever went through. The only thing she had of the old house was her room, her dad had surprised her and decorated her room to look almost exactly the same. She smiled sadly walking into it now realizing those were all almost minor things compared to everything she felt right now. Walking over to her dresser she pulled out one of Eli's old shirts she had left here, from the dead hand concert he went to with Adam and a pair of sweats. She always wondered why she had left them here but when she thought about it, it was because they were apart of her childhood. To her they belonged here, but right now she didn't know where anything belonged.

(Eli)

Eli stood with Julia in front his house now, she turned to glare at him. "What? Are you kidding Eli?" she screamed her voice was shrill and it made Eli jump slightly. " Do you know what its like to be dead? To watch your loved ones suffer because of your absence and you can't do a damn thing to help them. Do you?"

"Julia, I'm fucking dead right now! So yeah, I know what its like" He screamed back at her.

"No, Eli you don't fucking know! You have the damn chance to come back somehow and you would rather throw it away. Can you honestly tell me you'd rather watch Clare suffer for months, maybe years and Adam when he finally realizes he isn't you! Can you? because if you can do that, you are the most selfish bastard I have ever met and then you're right you should just stay dead." Julia's words were harsh and it felt like she had driven a dagger through his heart.

"Fuck you Julia, fuck you!" He balled his hand up into fists, tears swelling in his eyes.

"That's always your defense isn't it? To get mad and push away everyone that wants to help you. It doesn't work Eli and you know it! You can fight me on it all you want but its the truth, I already know you aren't a heartless, selfish bastard so stop acting like one"

Eli took a minute to let her words sink in, he knew in the pit of his stomach she was right. She never babied him when they were together, she just hold him how it was. It's part of why they fought so much, she was straight up and in your face kind of girl. He didn't usually react to that well, he would harbor feelings of resentment towards her for being that way, and she to him for being such a "baby". They were always one in the same and yet completely different together. Once he calmed down enough he turned to face her nodding his head. "You're right, I'm sorry" he whispered.

"Ha, you saying I'm right? that's a first" she rolled her eyes "Hurry up, we're here to check on Adam, anyway" She gestured for him to head inside. Eli gave her a puzzled look not really sure how this worked, Julia rolled her eyes once more. Eli blinked and then they were in the house, Julia on his right side. They walked down the hall and saw Adam sitting on the sofa, he held a picture in his hand and he looked rather upset.

"Whats wrong with him ?" Eli asked

"He's confused, I mean from the looks of it Clare isn't here" Julia spoke softly.

"How do we help him? Realize he's Adam I mean.."

"I told you I don't know exactly, Clare will have to figure it out but I think you should make an appearance to her again"

"She told me not to" Eli looked to his feet and then glanced at Adam who was flipping mindlessly through the tv channels.

"Because she thought it was best for you to go into the light, but you have to tell her it isn't. Why are you so quick to give up all the time? shit."

" I want to respect her wishes"

"Bull shit, you are so full of it. You just don't want her to tell you to leave again. Guess what buddy she probably will, but you have to fight for it." Julia shook her head and Eli looked up at her giving her a half smile. She was right once more, he was scared of being shoved away again, it hurt so much the last time he wasn't sure he could hear her say those words again.

"Go to Clare, I'll stay with Adam. If anything goes wrong, I'll know where to find you"

"Goes wrong?"

"Eli, I told you limited time! Just go, Think about Clare and you'll go to her" Julia waved him off turning to watch Adam.

(Clare)

Clare laid on her bed again,with her notebook rested on her lap as she scribbled down everything she was feeling right now. She remembered the many times Eli had laid with her in here during her senior year, just to talk to or sleep through the night in his arms. He promised he would never leave her alone, that he'd always be here. She knew this happening wasn't by his choice and that if he could be here he would but it didn't change a thing, if she had her way they'd be cuddling in the bed right now talking about their days. Inspiration was soaring through Clare right now though she had written a lot it was more of a song than anything else. She wasn't even trying to write one it just seemed to come out with the emotions she was feeling. Writing was the only thing keeping her from doing something drastic she never thought she'd be one of those girls, someone who loved someone so much living without them seemed impossible. She glanced down at her paper to look at the bit of writing she had just finished.

Waking up without you, it doesn't feel right
To sleep with only memories is harder every night
And sometimes I think I can feel you
Breathing on my neck

Tonight, I'm reaching out to the stars
I think that he owes me a favor
It doesn't matter where you are
I'll hold you again

I wish, I could hear your voice
Don't leave me alone in this bed
I wish, I could touch you once more
Don't leave me alone in this bed
Not tonight, not tomorrow

I've got the feeling that this will never cease
Living in these pictures, it never comes with ease
I swear, if I could make this right
You'd be back by now
Tonight, I'm screaming out to the stars
He knows he owes me a favor
It doesn't matter where you are
You'll be mine again

I wish, I could hear your voice
Don't leave me alone in this bed
I wish, I could touch you once more
Don't leave me alone in this bed

What about the plans that we had?
We'd been crazy not to go
Leave me in case and I'll

I wish, I could hear your voice
Don't leave me alone in this bed
I wish, I could touch you once more
And don't leave me alone in this bed

Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone in this bed
Don't leave me alone, don't leave me alone
Don't leave me alone in this bed

Clare put the notebook down and looked up glancing across the room she saw Eli leaning against one of the walls. She blinked shaking her head for a second before their eyes met and he spoke " Hi blue eyes"

Yep that's where I'm leaving you. I know I'm horrible, honestly this was almost just a filler chapter the next chapter will be chalked with Eclare goodness though. I'm kind of curious on what you guys think is going to happen or what do you want to happen. For those of you that love to read it, I appreciate that so much, I really love this story. I know its kind of sad and painful to read but I just have a sick and twisted mind it all haha. No really, I appreciate all of you that read it thank you so much. Reviews ? x