Clare sat up her mouth gaping open for a second closing her eyes one more and then pinching her arm. "Ow" she muttered to herself and Eli let out a low chuckle. "I'm really here Blue eyes" he went and sat next to her on the bed. She frowned she couldn't really feel the indentation of him being there, because in actuality he wasn't. If another human being walked in right now, they wouldn't be able to see him at all. She was still a little speechless that he was here so much so she wasn't sure if she was angry that he didn't listen or hurt or happy to see him. Eli leaned forward though and looked into her blue eyes, she wanted to pull him forward and kiss him right then but she knew she couldn't.
"Why are you here?" She finally managed to ask.
"Because you need me" Clare rolled her eyes it always had to be that simple for him but it wasn't. She sighed shaking her head at him.
"No Eli, I do need you but we're bad for each other in this state. I can't keep you here and you can't keep coming around" The tears now began to well up in her eyes and she let them slowly cascade down her cheeks.
"I know you think so, but Julia says there is a way to fix this... this one time be a little selfish and don't send me away, please" he whispered,it broke Clare's heart to hear him pleading like that.
"I can't" she spoke softly looking to her hands. Eli sighed slightly frustrated shaking his head "No you can Clare Diana Edwards and you will. We are engaged and going to be married sometime next year, I promise you or hell by Christmas if you want! We can be married whenever you want just say the word"
"Can we get married right now?" She knew she was being a smart ass but she had a point. He wasn't Eli anymore and there were no guarantees he could be back to her, at least not like he was before.
"Clare, you know what I meant by that. Don't be difficult" he glared at her and she looked away then back at him. "I'm not trying to be difficult just logical, we can't just assume there is a way to fix everything. We don't know that for a fact not yet,I don't know if I can take the heartbreak of searching to find out in the end there is nothing"
"Just think about it Blue eyes, its worth trying isn't it? If there is nothing to get me back in my own body, I could live in Adams! It would be weird at first but we could make it better, I tried so hard to give you up but Julia made me realize I can't do that. You mean everything to me, everything Clare and I can't let you go" Eli himself was now tearing up he couldn't stand the thought of leaving her behind and hated himself for even thinking about it.
"Eli..." Clare took in a sharp breath wiping the tears off her face. "I can't promise you that, let me talk to the guy my dads friends with, then I'll decide...I don't know if you being Adam is the right thing either, you aren't Adam. I'm in love with Eli, not Adam. How could I ever look at Adams face and then look at yours knowing that's Adam?"
" I don't know... I really don't but do me one favor, don't push me away tonight, please. Let me stay with you and after that I'll disappear until you ask for me" He gave her a hopeful look and she sighed nodding her head.
Eli smirked and Clare laid back on the bed. Eli laid beside her and she frowned once more she couldn't feel him. It almost killed her more to have him there not being able to touch him, or feel him, breathe in his scent than to not have him at all. She fought back her tears and played with engagement ring on her finger. Eli looked down putting his hand over hers even though he knew she couldn't feel a thing, he felt like he could feel her hand. She looked down at their hands and closed her eyes trying to think of something happy.
"Clare bear come here, its time to do the crossword" Her dad called.
"Is it? I thought I came here for a game of basketball" she teased.
"Very funny, come on sit down" he chuckled and put the crossword in front of her. Clare sat down grabbing her pen as they both looked over it.
"I think I know the first one" Randall smirked and Clare let out a soft giggle.
"Something your daddy calls you" she laughed softly "Hmm I wonder" She took the pen and wrote in C-L-A-R-E B-E-A-R.
She wondered why her dad had made his own crossword puzzle for them to do, normally they just did the ones in the paper.
"Should we do across or down?" She asked looking to her dad.
"I think we should go from one to twenty" He nodded "And you can't stop until you get to twenty" he added.
"What are you up to dad?" she asked raising her eyebrow.
"Just a little fun, Clare come on" he nodded his head toward the crossword. "Alright, alright but I still think you're up something" She took the pen and looked at the number two reading it aloud.
"Machismo" A-D-A-M. She laughed softly she didn't think her dad paid that much attention to the nicknames they had acquired for Adam over the years.
"Number three, Greatest group of people in the world" Clare thought about this for a second before turning to her dad. "The Edwards?" He shook his head "Think about your friends" he gave her a warm smile. T-H-E M-I-S-F-T-S.
"Number four, 1319 Clearfalls avenue is our..." It was then Clare realized her father had not made this crossword puzzle, Eli had. She smirked and looked at her dad now wondering what the two of them were possibly in cahoots about. H-O-M-E.
"Five, The person that brought us together" M-S. D-A-W-E-S.
"Six, During exams one year you threw a …" Clare blushed a scarlet color before answering.
S-T-I-N-K B-O-M-B. Her dad laughed as she wrote it down "Oh I remember getting that phone call"
"Shush, number seven. A delicious dessert named after us" She laughed shaking her head thinking about when Adam had said that about their "couple name" E-C-L-A-R-E.
"Eight. 'That's me your..." R-O-C-K.
"Nine. The only thing that makes me feel like I could ever get better" B-L-U-E E-Y-E-S.
"Ten. I taught you to drive in" M-O-R-T-Y.
"Eleven. Our first date involved getting a" P-I-E-R-C-I-N-G. Clare blushed again as her dad cleared his throat, whatever this was she was going to kill Eli for reiterating it to her dad.
"Twelve. Romeo and" J-U-L-I-E-T
"Thirteen. You listen to my heart beat because you swear it sounds like your" N-A-M-E
"Fourteen. Opposites" A-T-T-R-A-C-T.
"Fifteen. Tonight I love you is" O-U-R S-O-N-G. One of the many songs they had but that was their very first it would always be special to both of them.
"Sixteen. 'I think they're...'" D-E-A-D. She laughed softly thinking about how long ago that was. She would never forget that moment though, as cheesy as it was she knew there was something special about them then.
"Seventeen. We are forever and" A-L-W-A-Y-S.
"Eighteen. During your senior year the three of us put together a" T-I-M-E C-A-P-S-U-L-E. Clare remembered that, the three of them spent weeks collecting special things to go into that, and when they were older they were going to dig it up and go through it.
"Nineteen. The first concert I ever dragged you to" D-E-A-D H-A-N-D.
"Twenty. Will you marry me?" Clare read over that six times before looking at the answer box. It had three spaces in it and Clare laughed softly her eyes brimmed with tears filling in. Y-E-S. Just as she did her dad smiled softly and pulled her into a tight hug.
"You!" she held onto her dad for a second wondering where Eli was but when she turned around he was behind her on bended knee. Her dad gave her a soft smile before leaving the room, Clare looked down at Eli as he took her hand.
"Clare you're the best thing to ever come into my life. I was so messed up when you met me but you healed every single part of me no matter how jealous or protective I got, no matter how hard I tried to push you away you were always there. You always loved me for me, got me the way no one else could. You took a broken man and made him whole. I know you're worried that marriage will only fail but I'm promising you here and now ours won't turn out that way. So Clare Diana Edwards, I'm asking you. Will you marry me?"
"Yes" Clare squeaked out and Eli smiled taking the ring from the box slipping it on her finger. He stood up picking her up and spinning her around in his arms. He placed her down and they shared a soft kiss, in this moment they had everything they ever wanted.
(Eli)
Eli watched Clare with her eyes closed and sighed hoping she was sleeping now that he was here. She opened her eyes a few minutes later though tears running down them. "Please don't cry blue eyes" he whispered and she took her free hand to wipe her tears. "I'm sorry...I just thought about when we got engaged and I want that back so badly..." she sighed softly.
"I know babe, we both do" He wished so badly he could run his fingers through her hair and kiss her like he did when she was upset. "But do me a favor and please, get some sleep"
"Will you be here when I wake up?" She sniffled some more. Eli chuckled not more than fifteen minutes ago she was pushing him to go away but now she wanted him to be here in the morning.
"I promise, I'll be right here" he whispered into her ear. Clare shivered and touched her hand to her ear with a soft smile. " I barely felt you, but I did" she smiled softly and closed her eyes. Eli had to smile a little that she could feel him even if it was faint. He waited until he was sure he was asleep before placing his hand on her cheek stroking it gently. It amazed him that he was able to touch her and feel her beneath him but she couldn't feel him it was almost like a cruel joke.
"I love you so much Clare, I'm not going to leave ever" he whispered into her hair. She shifted softly and he pressed his lips to her forehead, spending the rest of the night watching her sleep. As he did he couldn't help but to wonder what would happen if he couldn't get back to her... what if he had no choice. That idea killed him but maybe it was more logical then getting back to her, maybe this is what they would be reduced to, nothing more than a memory, a part of her past, just a piece of her like Julia had been to him..
Okay! So that's it for this chapter. I updated much faster this time didn't I? :p I hope you love this chapter it was one of my favorites to write, I'm a big sucker for fluff so you know haha. Anyway in the last chapter I forgot to give credit to the artist of that song, I had said Clare wrote it but in reality its called Alone in this bed by Framing Hanley. Also a big thank you to the three people that always review I look forward to reading them after each chapter so once again thank you, tiffspiff,MadameDegrassi-girl &clareandeliforever. I promise to update ASAP but reviews make me do it faster so Reviews? :p x Laina