Chapter 16 – Midnight Meet-Up

The large wooden door that enclosed Chirnajeet's chambers opened slowly with a groan. The old man had his arm around Lara, whispering something to her as they emerged. Mason saw them and began to approach. Lara thanked Chiranjeet, and he retreated back into his room once more. The guardian monks closed the door behind him, locking it when it had sealed. Mason looked questioningly at Lara, shifting a little as she thanked the monks in their native tongue.

"So?" he asked impatiently. Lara only looked at him with something he believed was contempt, and his gut iced over. He never could tolerate other peoples' exasperation.

"So, we start looking in the river," she replied, her eyes tired. Mason's face came to life, his indignant frown replaced by an almost boyish glow.

"I knew it! I knew it Lara!" She only looked at him, obviously worn out by her session with Chiranjeet. He placed a thick hand on her shoulder, noticing the way she jumped a little when he touched her. Good. A little fear went a long way.

"Well, that's all good and well. But I believe you've earned your sleep tonight, Lady Croft. Why don't we all turn in, and we'll start fresh in the morning." Lara nodded, her shoulders drooping a little. Mason had certainly never seen her like this before. It was almost as if she were… sad.

"Right. The river is at its fullest a little before noon, so we'll head out after seven. It's quite a hike up the sacred mountain to the river bank." With that, she turned and went back up the stairs to her room, leaving Mason standing behind her in the lengthening shadows of midnight.

When Lara reached her room, she let the tears flow freely. She had been saving them up, suppressing them with all her might. She couldn't do it anymore. She threw herself onto the soft bed covered in pillows, burying her face in a dark red one. She pulled her hair out of her ponytail, letting her messy hair fall around her. She kicked off her boots, tucking her feet up underneath of her. And she cried. She wept for Chiranjeet, for her mentor. She wept for the past, for the trials and tribulations she overcame when she met him. She wept for her own uncertainty in this new endeavor, for it was the first time she had ever felt so uneasy about the future. As the tears began to subside, her mind slowed, allowing the memories of the past to flow painlessly. She let herself relax, listening to the sounds of the monks gathering for midnight prayers in the garden below her, their voices a haunting soundtrack to her sadness. She listened, and as their voices grew softer in the night, so did her tears. She closed her eyes, imagining her father beside her, petting her head. She imagined him reading to her from Utopia, and explaining predestination. This only filled her heart with more sorrow, and she shut her eyes tight in an attempt to force it out. To prove to it that she was stronger.

A light knocking came at the door. She resisted the urge to scream, telling whoever it was to go the fuck away. But she thought of Ishan, and her heart softened. She would like to speak with him tonight. She got up off the bed, rubbing at her swollen eyes and smoothing out her clothes. She went to the door, smiling a little as she opened it. When she saw who it was behind the door, she immediately exchanged the smile for a grimace of disapproval.

"Hey Lara," Alex said, rubbing at the back of his neck when he saw she had been crying.

"I have nothing to say to you, Alex. Go to bed. We have an early morning tomorrow." She shut the heavy door in his face, a slight feeling of satisfaction tumbling around in the pit of her stomach. God, she hated him.

He knocked at the door again, this time a little louder. She stopped short, sighing. He obviously wasn't going to give up. He never did. She went back to the door, opening it. He pushed his way in, elbowing past her. As he did so, he brushed up against her breasts, making her a little dizzy.

"Alex, what the hell do you want? It's midnight for Christ's sake," she asked as he stood next to her in the dark. She could smell him, and it was like an intoxicating mix of sweat and incense. Her stomach growled a little, making her feel uncomfortable. He looked at her, his blue eyes shimmering in the glow cast by the moon and stars.

"Lara, you're upset. And don't even try to deny it. I know you better than you think I do, and I know when you're down." She only huffed, throwing herself back on the bed.

"Alex, everyone has their issues. Why is it that anytime I decide to give into mine, everyone has to know about it?"

"Because you always pretend to be so strong, Lara," he replied. She laughed.

"Right! As if I'm not strong enough to handle my own emotions." Alex was quiet for a moment, and she wondered if she had hurt his feelings.

"No one can be that strong all the time, Lara. Once in a while, even the toughest acts have to let someone else in on the pain." She sat still for a minute, a little shocked at what he had said. She had always believed him to be a sellout, incapable of harboring any emotion save for greed. Yet here he was, spouting psychological bullshit about her emotions. Just who did he think he was?

"I can take care of myself, thanks." She curled her legs up underneath of her again, a little embarrassed that he was watching. This was her space, not his. Just as she was about to ask him to leave, he went out onto the stone balcony overlooking the gardens, running his hands through his blonde hair. She sat up, watching him as he seemed to get lost in himself outside. The night air was cool and soft, and the moon was full. He stood with his hands in his pockets, the moon bathing him in a surreal light. She gazed at him, wondering why she had never noticed the cut of his arms before, or how tall he really was. Probably because he slouched. She got up, checking herself quickly in the mirror before joining him outside. What was wrong with her? She never cared about her appearance around him, especially this late at night.

She stood beside him, wondering what exactly was on his mind. She was tempted to ask, but knew him better than that. If he had anything to say to her at all, he would say it in his own good time. They stood together on the balcony, the gardens below shifting in the breeze. Lara watched him out of the corner of her eye, and for a moment, she saw something she couldn't quite understand. He looked… older. For some reason, he barely looked like Alex West at all. Sure, he was there in certain aspects, but almost all of him had erased itself to reveal someone older, wiser, more powerful. And for an instant, Lara thought she could see a small ring of gold atop his head. Not like a halo, but more solid. Gold, probably. But as quickly as the vision had come, it vanished. And he began to talk.

"Lara… I know that you have some sort of connection with the monks here. I can see it. I've never seen this part of you. Since we've been here, you've been completely emotional. Something completely out of the ordinary for you." He turned to look her squarely in the eyes, and her heart jumped a little. His eyes were so blue…

"Do you mid if I ask how it all came to be? Or is it one of those things you can't share?" Lara looked at him, not sure what to say. Usually when they were together, the only thing they could manage was bickering like two old women, let alone meaningful conversation. Yet here he was, asking about one of the most personal chapters in her life. And the crazy thing was, she thought she could tell him. She moved to the balustrade, leaning over a little so she could see down into the gardens. Small fireflies were skittering about down there, like small yellow stars that had lost their way.

"Several years ago, when I first got started with my adventures, I came to West India to find an ancient talisman that was rumored to be the key to opening an ancient temple in which resided a magnificent treasure. No one had ever proved that the treasure was real, because no one had ever discovered the talisman. I was high-strung and over-confident at that point in my career, and in my life. I believed that I was the only one who could find the talisman and the treasure. But I went about it all wrong. I hired a gang of untrustworthy archeologists, promising them the moon if they would help me find the treasures. They double-crossed me, leaving me for dead high up in the sacred mountains." As she said this, she pointed to the craggy ridges that cascaded over one another to the west.

"So, how did you end up here?" Alex asked, coming to join her.

"Well, the sacred river Bhima flows through the mountains several miles from here. It's beautiful. Crystal clear, and very deep. It is said that the souls of the righteous flow within it for eternity, keeping it beautiful and spiritually cleansed. But when I was there, I could barely walk. I had been beaten up so badly, that I didn't even really know where I was. I had several broken bones, including two ribs. Both of my eyes were swollen shut, and my legs were bruised up badly. The monks found me while on their weekly prayer retreat to the banks of the river. They took me back with them, fixed me up, and let me rest. I didn't wake up for three days. When I did, I found they had brought two women from the neighboring village to care for me, change me, and dress my wounds. Which is rare, because technically women aren't allowed in the temples save for serious situations. I was a foreigner, and yet they were treating me like one of their own."

"When I was finally able to walk, I was allowed to visit with Chiranjeet, the monks' elder. He's the one Mason and I met with tonight. He welcomed me to their temple, asking me to take rest and heal. I began to sit in prayers with the monks, learning their language and their customs. I'm still not sure how long I stayed here, but it seemed like years. The monks accepted me like one of their own, even giving me the special sarongs worn to prayers and meals. A great honor indeed.

"I became part of them, learning from them and helping out in any way I could. For a long time, they were searching for an ancient manuscript passed down from the lines of the god's themselves. It was supposed to explain a very old ritual in which to cleanse the souls of the monks, allowing them to be part of a higher plane of reality. Sort of like meditation, only deeper and longer lasting. I knew if anyone could help them, it would be me. So, I began to research, and while studying, I found out all about the temple's history. Some of it Chirnajeet himself had never known. And then, finally, after what seemed like an eternity, I discovered the manuscript deep within the caves below the temple. That's where the libraries are, but no one goes down there anymore. Too much history can be a bad thing at times."

"Well, needless to say, they were all very happy. Chirnajeet personally promised me that if ever I needed sanctuary, or good friends to support my endeavors, I would always be welcomed with open arms here inside the temple walls. It was then that they allowed me to take part in a very sacred ritual. When new monks are inducted, they go on a spiritual pilgrimage to the river and then to the tops of the mountains beyond. I was allowed to be a part of that, and it was the most beautiful thing I've ever done. I met Ishan then, as he was just a new monk. We became fast friends, and prayer partners once we reached our destinations. We learned a great deal together. He would always call me Keshini, which made me feel like part of the group. It means 'beautiful hair'."

She jumped when she felt Alex's hand on her back. He reached up slowly, touching her hair. She looked at him, her stomach rolling with something she hadn't felt in a long time. It might have been lust, but she was sure it was something a little stronger.

"You do have beautiful hair, Lara," he nearly whispered, stepping a little closer to her. She watched as his hand moved from her hair to her shoulder, her breath hitching a little. She hated him. Oh, God she hated him. But why? Why couldn't she just let herself…

"Lara? Why do you always have to be so strong? Don't you ever feel like letting someone else in?" He brought her closer to him, putting his other hand at the small of her back. She felt so stupid. And she was sure her hair looked like shit.

"Because. People can't be trusted. You're lucky if you can trust yourself." She squirmed a little as he brought her even closer, his hands moving towards her butt.

"You're right. But isn't that what you're all about? Taking risks? Wild chances? Playing with fire?" He took her chin in his hand, bringing her face to meet his. She almost frowned at him in frustration. Goddamnit. He was the only person she had ever known who could do that to her. Ruffle her feathers just enough…

"It's different when you work alone. Especially me. I have a lot of money, and I have a lot of experience in the field. Some people see that as an open opportunity for deception." He was so close now, that she could fell the warmth of his breath against her cheek. She let her eyelashes flutter, and he gripped her skin firmly.

"I don't give a damn about your money, Lara Croft. Or your fucking field experience. And I don't want to deceive you. So why the hell won't you let me in?" he almost snarled. Lara wanted to give him one squarely in the jaw. Why couldn't she let him in? Why was that so hard for her? Why did she feel so fucking confused right now? She should have just tossed him out on his ass when he first showed up at her door uninvited.

"Because, Alex. You may not give a damn about my money, but you sure as hell give a damn about your own. You let your wants and desires overshadow your passion for discovery. You're good, but your success is tainted. You missed the call to a higher purpose. You're selfish, and what's more… you hate yourself for it. As a result, you make others hate you, too." There, she had said it. And God, he looked hurt. So he knew it to be true. She hadn't expected that.

"You're right Lara. Every word of it," he replied softly. His gazed wavered, but his grip on her did not. It was making her eyes heavy.

"You're the only one who can shape who you are, Alex," she whispered, her hands moving to touch his arms. He stared at her, his eyes ablaze. Her stomach was doing flip-flops now, and she could tell by the energy in his eyes that his was doing the same.

"Lara, stop being so damn smart for a few minutes." He grabbed her, crushing her mouth with his. Shocked, she closed her eyes, but let them stay that way. He held her face in his hands, using thick, heavy kisses to draw her out. She let herself wrap her arms around him, feeling the cut of his back muscles through his thin shirt. He moved his arms to enclose her, holding her tightly against him. She lost her breath for a moment, but she didn't lose her pace. She tangled her arms around his neck, shoving him closer to her. He moved against her, sending shrill tingling sensations down her spine. She couldn't remember the last time she had kissed someone. The last person she had ever expected to be on the other end was Alex fucking West.

She pulled away from him, suddenly afraid of herself. What the hell was she thinking? Not only was he her rival in competition, he was her partner in Mason's little project. She should never have let him in her room.

"Alex, go to bed. We have to be up at the ass-crack of dawn tomorrow," she said a little hesitantly. She watched as his face, glossy from excitement, grew sober once more. He let his arms drop from her, turning around curtly and walking away. She followed him into the room, just in time to see him scooting out the door.

"Alex…"

"No. Don't think twice about it," he said without turning around. His frame was outlined in the doorway by the oil lamps in the great hall. "I just got carried away, that's all. No worries." He tried to sound nonchalant, but it came out a little strained. Lara watched him close the door, leaving her in the dark. God, she hated that man!

She threw herself back into the bed, extremely frustrated.