Mama said it's all right
If you cry if you lose a fight
Daddy said dry it up.
I'm proud of you not giving up.
I've been battling so many years,
and I've stood up to many fears.
So keep the faith, this I know,
but I'm about to lose control.

- I Need a Break.. But I'd Rather Have a Breakthrough, The Rocket Summer

disclaimer, i own nothing but my ideas and my laptop. so please, don't sue me. :)

"Bells!"

The deep voice made me ears ring, the smell of musk made my nose tingle. It was great to see Jacob again, it had been so long since I had seen my best friend.

His large arms soon engulfed me, the musk scent much more prominent. I had to laugh, being around Jake made everything go away. His carefree attitude rubbed off onto everyone, the warmth he carried with you swallowed all coldness that came near it.

"Alright, Jakey! You're hurting me now!" He laughed, the sound filled the car.

"Sorry, Bells. But you've been gone too long! Look at you!" he exclaimed, waving his hands towards me.

I blushed a deep red, muttered my thanks, and we were off. Driving along the place I once knew as home, with the person who used to be my best friend. It felt nice, for the first time in days, I was happy.

The car was silent for a while, but it was a nice silence - a comfortable silence. Driving past fields, breathing in the fresh Phoenix air, and listening to our favourite bands. If someone would have offered to do this with me a few weeks ago, I would have laughed. But right now, I was perfectly content.

I looked over at Jake, and noticed how much he had grown since I'd left. His braces had been taken off, letting his white teeth really stand out against his russet skin. He had chopped his long black hair off, and at first I was sad about it, but then I realized how much it showed off his chizzeled jaw. I was beginning to get uncomfortable with my assessing of the new Jacob Black, so decided it was time to start conversations up again.

"So, tell me whats been going on since I've left," I mused.

Jake's signature chuckle emerged from his throat, and he began telling stories about all our old friends. I missed the pack, I don't think I truly realized it until now. Embry and Quil were still pulling pranks, Seth was still looking up to Jacob, Leah finally got a boyfriend, Sam and Emily got engaged, and Paul still seemed like Paul.

After telling me all the tales about our friends he could think of, Jake let out a small sigh. Before I could ask what was wrong, he pulled into a parking lot hastily.

Taken aback, I looked at Jacob quizzically.

"Bella, why did you have to leave? Why haven't you come back? You could have been like normal kids and spent time shared between Renee and Charlie. You completely forgot us, do you know how much that hurts?" His voice cracked at the last sentence, and guilt rushed over me.

"I didn't want to Jake.. but.. I just couldn't," I began. I tried to continue, but the words wouldn't escape my mouth. This topic was unchartered territory, it was an unwritten rule not to ever talk about it. Even if it was with Jake.

I felt his large, warm hand stroke my hair, while the other grabbed a hold of my chin, and gently lifted it so my face was facing his. He started deep into my eyes, searching my soul for what my words couldn't say.

Scared that my eyes would betray me, I quickly looked down.

"The towns probably gossiped, Jake. I'm sure you know why Renee and Charlie called it quits. That slut of a secretary was doing a lot more for Charlie than he was paying her for, and when Renee had found out, she just couldn't stay. It was a no brainer for who I would choose as my primary care giver. I couldn't stay around to watch.." I had to stop then, tears were falling, and I couldn't let Jake see me like this. I tried to stop the sobs, but they continued. Jake wrapped his arms around me, pulled me close, and rocked me against his body. Within minutes, I was asleep in his arms.

"Wake up, sleepy," the deep voice whispered. I opened my eyes groggily, searching for the clock. It read 6:07pm, jesus, had I really slept here for four hours? I was an awful friend. Quickly sitting up to mumble my apologies, but before I could spit them out, a long warm finger pressed against my lips.

"I don't care, Belly Bean. Anytime spent with you is amazing, consious or unconcious, but unfortunately, Billy needs me back at the house. Want me to drive you home?"

Ugh, that sounded awful. "No, Jake. Actually, could you take me to Tanya's place?"

He raised an eyebrow at me. "Tanya Denali? Are you serious? Why would you possibly want to go there?"

I shrugged, obviously Jake hadn't heard of my infamous new lifestyle, and I planned to keep it that way. "No reason, Charlie just asked if I could drop something off for her."

With a simple questioning look, Jake dropped the topic. I knew I kept him around for a reason.

We drove in silence again, and within five minutes, Jake pulled into Tanya's driveway. I thanked him, and walked up the driveway. When I looked back, I realized that Jake was still waiting there.

I started to walk back, and stopped at the driver side window. He rolled it down manually, and gave me a weird look.

"What are you doing Bells?"

"Why are you waiting, Jake? I'm going to be a while. Don't worry about me, I'll get Edward to pick me up later," I said, giving him a quick kiss on the cheek before running up the driveway to avoid all questions that would be brought on by that sentence.

I knew I would have to deal with hell for it later, but that didn't matter right now. All I wanted to do was walk up to the high school party girls house, and score an easy way to escape this hell hole of a town.

A/N

wow, two chapters in one night.

i really am a changed author!

enjoy, my lovely readers who have probably forgotten about me. and the new ones that i really hope to accumulate.

also, please review to give me motivation to not drop this story for another 10 years :) yes, that is slightly a threat.

love always! jewels.