"A best friend is someone who can pick out all of your flaws and imperfections and love you for you."
"Un mejor amigo es alguien que puede escoger todos sus desperfectos y las imperfecciones y adorarle para usted."
Psymon started driving down the road in the silent night. "Dude let's stop at my house real quick," Dane said. Psymon made a sharp turn and drove to the designated house.
Dane had run inside and grabbed a book bag bringing it back out. Dane told Psymon to drive to the peak. "What took so long?" Psymon asked.
Dane smirked opening the bag to reveal beers and a bottle of vodka. Psymon smiled driving a little faster.
They arrived and hopped out. Psymon put down the tailgate and they sat on it beginning their drinking raid in the falling snow.
Six beers each and half the bottle of UV later, they were feeling pretty good. "Dude!" Dane almost shouted, "Farah is so hot"
"You spitted… spat on me duetchbag," Psymon said almost falling off the tailgate.
Dane laughed, "You said duetchbag, like German. Dude… uhh …. Remember that old jeep your dad had?"
"… That thing was such a piece of sh- Oh my God a beer!" Psymon reached for it falling off the tailgate. Psymon laid on the ground chugging the beer.
Dane leaned over looking down at Psymon, "By a round of applause, how do you feel?"
"Uh oh.. I gotta go pee pee," Psymon said running away behind a tree.
"I gotta poo!" Dane yelled running after him. Dane practically ripped his pants off leaning on a tree. Psymon turned his head from where he was standing, "You don't have tee pee."
"Its called pine cones for a reason…..what?" Dane said making a strained face.
"It's never ending. No wait it ended," Psymon shook off then fell over.
After another half hour of laughing and falling they made it back to the truck. "You good to drive?" Dane asked.
"Bitch!" Psymon said pushing Dane head first into the window, "Don't chu ever question my drunken abilities."
Psymon managed to make it back to Dane's where his dad had greeted them at the sidewalk. Mr. Cook opened the door and pulled his son out of the truck.
"You took my god damn beer boy! I oughtta hang you ass out to dry," The angry voice drained as they walked away… well more like Mr. Cook dragged Dane away.
Psymon figured out he wasn't sleeping over Danes and drove home. Psymon finally came home after swerving and hopping the curb parking half way on the front lawn. He put it in reverse, realized he was still moving, then parked and got out.
He stumbled up the walk way opening the front door after walking head first into it. He acted straight as possible passing the living room where his mom and dad sat watching TV.
Psymon went straight upstairs and went into the bathroom. He pulled down his pants and sat on the toilet, with boxers still on. He didn't know why, he just had the urge to sit on the toilet. He held onto the bowl to stable himself but then threw up in his pants.
"Eww…" he said kicking the pants off. He got up to leave but stumbled falling into the shower doors then fell between the toilet and tub passing out.
A bang was heard coming from upstairs. Denise looked towards the stairs, "What was that?"
Tom got up and looked out the front window. He saw the very wrong and awkward parking job. "Jesus…"
Denise had already gone upstairs to check what the noise was when she saw Melissa leaning against the bathroom door frame looking in. Denise walked up and looked in seeing him on the floor having a look of drunken stupor.
Denise grabbed his hand pulling him up into a sitting position. She smelled the heavy alcohol on his breath as he said, "Me and Jill need…. personal time…. woman."
"Drunken words are the sober minds thoughts," Melissa said with her arms crossed, "he's talking about his hand."
Denise managed to pull him up as he leaned on her with an arm around her shoulders, "But Jill?"
"Lookie," he said holding out his hand. He pointed to his thumb and pointer finger which looked like a 'J' and the other three fingers looked like 'ill'. Just then Tom walked in.
He grabbed Psymon by the arm and pulled him into Psymon's room, "Alright dude, your in deep shit." He saw Psymon's face distort with an awkward sound from his stomach and opened the window in his room pushing him halfway out as he began the throw up.
Tom secured him and pulled him back in as Psymon asked, "Would this be a bad time to ask for a job?" Tom gave him no answer and pushed him on the bed walking out. Denise came in putting a trashcan next to his bed. She moved his hair from his head and kissed his forehead whispering, "Hope your prepared for tomorrow kid."
The next morning Denise sat with Melissa at the kitchen table as Tom wondered downstairs with ten year old Chrissy, the little baby from so many Christmas' ago. The young girl was being watched for the day while her parents went to the city.
Chrissy sat down as Tom replaced the scissors in the drawer. Denise looked at him and asked, "What did you do Tom?"
"He's funny looking!" the little girl exclaimed.
"Tom!" Denise stood up, "We agreed to just give him chores for the week and take his truck. What did you do?"
"Don't worry, you baby boy is still sound asleep. Trust me he'll be punished enough when he wakes up," Tom told her started to laugh uncontrollably.
Melissa smiled silently as Denise sat down in a huff. 'Just wait until Alyssa sees this,' she thought her herself.
Psymon finally opened his eyes to the blinding light of the sun. He moaned getting out of bed and headed to the bathroom. As he went to opened the mirror to look for Tylenol for his tremendous hangover, he looked in the mirror.
"And you took his hat? You know he's gunna freak out. What if he has another," Denise censored herself, "… you know…episode."
Tom looked up from his paper, "I never really thought about that," he lifted his paper back up and continued reading.
"AAAHHHHHHHH!!" was heard from the bathroom upstairs. Denise gasped covering her mouth as Tom and Chrissy began to laugh so hard they cried.
Feet pounded the stairs and then appeared Psymon with a shirt over his head, "WHAT DID YOU DO TO ME?!"
Tom couldn't stop laughing to answer. He some what calmed himself wiping his tears away, "Guess you'll have to get a hair cut huh?"
Psymon gripped the shirt on his head tighter, "You're a fuckin asshole, you took all my hats too!"
"Watch your mouth," Tom said laughing and going back to reading his paper.
"It cant be that bad," said Denise as she gently pulled off the shirt. Psymon kept the frown on his face as the rest of the family looked at him. Hairs were jutting out of place and cut all different lengths. Chopped and completely destroyed.
Little Chrissy began cracking up. Tom looked up at his son, "Now you can walk to barber shop, no hat, no shirt over your head, no nothing."
Denise rubbed his arm, "I'm sorry and know that I had absolutely nothing to do with this."
Psymon retreated upstairs and changed his clothes. Tom yelled upstairs that he wasn't to wear anything with a hood. He cursed to himself the whole way to barber shop. He tried his best to cover his head but as soon as he turn the corner on his block he removed his jacket and put it over his head.
He walked into the shop and stood in front of the desk. "Can I help you?" asked the receptionist.
"I need to fix my hair… I had a mishap."
She pointed to a chair to sit in as he was met there by an older gentleman. "What can I do for you?"
Psymon removed the jacket and pointed to his head, "Fix this."
"Ok then."
Psymon watched hairs fall in front of his face. He almost cried watching his hair being cut like he could feel it. He had this long shaggy hair since a very young age, so maybe this was a good thing. But what about Elise? Would she still like him? What would people say? Nobody has ever gotten a really good look at his face, not even his family.
Before Psymon could freak out the barber swung the chair around so he could see his reflection. The hairs on his head were only about three or four inches long and spiked up with gel.
"I see kids with this hairdo all the time now a days," the old man said.
"Wow… thanks."