Disclaimer: I don't own Hunger Games because if I did Finnick would still be alive.
Yeah, I'm gonna tell you now, I like the first chapter better.
I'm drifting in the darkness. Sometimes I hear voices calling to me, but they sound so sad. The voices, I know them, I know I do. They beg me to wake up, to come back. They tell me I can't leave them, they tell me to open my eyes, to give a sign that I'll awake soon. It hurts my heart, I want to be with them but I know that I would get hurt even more. As each voice comes and goes only one remains, he holds my hand and it's his voice that makes me want to wake up. I struggle to do as he asks, to wake up. I want to, for his sake, but I can't. I feel so tired. One day though, something happens.
Don't stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
I am a thousand winds
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow
Don't stand at my grave and cry
I am not there, I did not die
I am the swift rush of birds in flight
Soft stars that shine at night
I am a thousand winds
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow
Don't stand at my grave and weep
I am not there, I do not sleep
I am the sunlight on the ripened grain
I am the gentle autumn rain
I am a thousand winds
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow
I am the diamond glint on snow
I am a thousand winds that blow
I hear a woman singing and the song just makes me want to cry. Her voice is so beautiful and the song has such a deep meaning. I think about what I had done and how I don't want anyone to cry for me because I don't deserve it, not after everything that's happened. I think about my death and how I want to tell everyone I'm not really going to leave them. As the last note fills the air I can't help but call out, I've been alone here for far too long.
"Who's there?" I ask
"Oh, Hello there." A woman's voice calls to me, her voice I notice is soft and full of warmth, just like when she sang.
"Hello!" I call back loudly trying to find her. Its too dark to see anyone. I can barely see myself. I see something move in the darkness and finally see a woman step out of it.
"I'm Saffron." the woman says, I notice she is dressed in a green dress that highlights her body, her face is youthful and kind if not a bit haughty, has a mischievous smile on her face. Her eyes are the color of emeralds and her hair a mixture of the different shades of red. On her neck is a gold chain with an oval shaped locket made of white gold with an emerald in the middle surrounded by diamonds, with it was a ring, no correction an engagement ring. On her hand was a candle with its flame burning bright. She looks so beautiful. The name doesn't register to me, all I know is that it sounds familiar.
"I'm Katniss" I tell her though I can tell she already knows who I am by the way she laughs.
"I know" she starts "I have something to show you." she says as she holds out her hand to me, the moment I touch it l feel myself being lifted from the floor. The moment it stops I'm all alone.
I'm back in district Twelve and I'm walking with my parents each holding my hand. I remember this day, its the first day of school and I'm five years old. I'm excited about seeing Madge again, she's my best friend mostly due to the fact that my mother used to be from the town before she married my father, and her best friend was Mrs. Undersee, Madge's mother.
I'm walking up the street, my father and my mother are talking about something, I don't bother to pay attention. I see the school and my heart starts pounding. 'What if I don't make any friends?' I think but I shake it away immediately. Even if I didn't make any friends I'd still have Madge. We stop walking when we reach the school's courtyard and I look around a smile on my face, I notice a boy looking at me and I smile in his direction, he turns away immediately and I look at him closely, he's obviously from the town by the way he looks. He has blonde hair and blue eyes, I notice that only his father is with him. I frown, why isn't his mother with him? I'm brought out of my thoughts when I hear Madge call my name.
The memory fades and suddenly I'm thrown back into the darkness, however, just as fast as the darkness came it is replaced by another memory...
I'm eleven years old and I'm in the forest. I remember this day well because this is the last time I would go here with my father. He takes me to our spot and sits me down on a rock. I can tell this is serious so I keep my mouth shut and listen to what he says with rapt attention.
"Katniss" my father addresses me, everything from the tone of his voice to his posture tells me that this is a serious and possibly life changing matter. "I brought you here because I think it is time for you to know about our family history..."
His words fascinate me, we have a family history. I always assumed that we were like everyone else in the Seam, a miners family. But, apparently not only does our family have a history but it can be traced back to the time before and between the Great War, the Fall of North America and the Creation of Panem.
"The first time the Everdeen family was considered note worthy was before the Great War. Our ancestor Antone Everdeen had been a man of high morals, he was a rich man who made his fortune in the farming industry. He had one son his heir Carlos Everdeen who at the early age of eighteen joined the army and had quickly made his way up the ranks to become the Secretary of Defense. By the time the Great War had started he had already organized a powerful military force. You could say that America was a force to be reckoned with. After the war, North America was relatively unscathed, most of the damage had been done by Mother Nature." His words made me look at him in doubt.
"That's not what it said in our history books." I tell him and watch as he shakes his head.
"No, it isn't. In your books there is only a small portion on it that states the truth, Katniss. Now, where was I? Oh, yes. When the war had ended, Carlos Everdeen was in his forties, and had already been promoted to the position of Speaker of the House. Peace was returning within the country, our vast lands were hardly touched so our fortune had remained intact. One day, he heard that his wife had fallen ill, she was, what people would call fragile. Her immune system was weak and even the slightest cold could turn deadly. Anyway, he had asked for a leave from the President to attend to his wife's needs, the President of course consented. A few days later he was given an extended leave because his wife, your ancestor Allanis Everdeen had died. During his leave, the country was struck by a great earthquake which killed the President and Vice President and left most of the country in ruins, this Katniss, is the fall of North America. Now, he had a decision to make, would he step up and claim the seat of power or resign and let someone else lead this fallen country." My father stopped here as if to give a dramatic effect.
"What happened?" I questioned him eagerly and he laughed.
"He took the position, naturally. He used the family fortune to rebuild the country, he used the food harvested from his lands to feed his people, this won him the hearts and loyalty of the citizens, drew up laws to guide them, put the most trustworthy people into government positions, separated us into districts by our talents to make it easier for the economy to return, he created schools and gathered the greatest minds to teach in every district because he believed that education is a right which everyone should have, finally he named the country Panem after the saying Panem et Circenses or bread and circuses, for he knew this type of government would only be temporary. There would come a time when we will have to change, however, he thought that it was what the country needed. He died when the country was near completion, he left instructions, though, to his successor Marina Mellark."
"Marina Mellark? As in the bakers family?" I cocked my head to the side as I thought. My father just smiled at me.
"Yes, her maiden name was Mendoza, she was a close family friend of the Carlos Everdeen's son, actually she was the one who introduced him to his wife. Now then, our story picks up two hundred years later in district Thirteen. The Everdeen Heir was Maverick Everdeen, he was a hardworking man in his early twenties who detested the current government. His bestfriend had been killed by peacekeepers from the Capitol because he had taken some medicine from the store to give to his pregnant wife. The peacekeepers saw it as theft but in reality the apothecary had given it to him to help his wife's sickness. They executed him and disposed of the medicine. Now, the medicine was the last one of the year since the shipment of the herbs didn't come until the next year and without it, Maverick couldn't help his late bestfriend's wife. She died in her sleep one winter's night. This had in all actuality been the last straw for him. Since the woman, was his little sister. After that, he gathered the people of Thirteen and got them to rebel, it worked, and soon enough word spread to other districts. When the tide turned against them, Thirteen had seized the nuclear weapons factory and threatened the Capitol. The Capitol had agreed to leave them alone, as long as Thirteen abandoned the rebellion. Maverick, who saw what was about to happen couldn't live with the fact that he had brought on something horrible upon all the districts, left Thirteen and settled here, in Twelve." My father finished the story with me as confused as ever.
"But, Thirteen is already destroyed isn't it?" I asked him
"No, it isn't. They evacuated the city above ground and now live in an underground bunker created during the Great War."
"Why are you telling me this?"
"Because, you are nearly twelve years old. When the time comes either I or you would have to tell Prim the story of our family. After all, the two of you are my Everdeen Heirs." I felt fear spread in my heart as I heard these words. Everdeen Heir, the title that follows my family around ensuring that wherever you go a river of blood shall follow.
"Why would I be the one to tell Prim?" I question him,
"Because, there is an air of unrest between the districts."
"Unrest?"
"Yes. Do you remember the songs I would sing to you, the ones no one knew?" my father's question took me by surprise.
"Of course." I tell him proudly
"I learned that from my bestfriend's late fiancée. She was the reason I met your mother. She advised me to sell the herbs to her." He told me sadly.
"Isn't your bestfriend the drunk victor Haymitch Abernathy?" I question him in disgust. As he shakes his head and sighs
"He wasn't always a drunk. There was a time he was as happy as I am. That ended when the Capitol had his family and his fiancée killed. After that, well, we weren't able to keep a Head Peacekeeper for long. Every time they or the other peacekeepers hurt us, well, something bad always happens and we get a new one." He told me as he stood up and held his hand out to me. When I looked at it I saw a chain with a golden ring, it had the symbol of an unrecognizable bird flying out of a book engraved into it, the band was filled with sapphire and emeralds.
"This is a symbol of the Everdeen Heir. There are others who have a ring similar to it, the stones signify you as the head of the Everdeen Clan, the symbol is that of an ancient society. The bird is a Phoenix, a bird which symbolizes rebirth, its tears were said to heal physical injuries while its song could heal the mind and soul. The book symbolizes enlightenment and truth. Together it forms the symbol of the Light Masons." He tells me seriously though I can tell there was more to it than that.
"Does mommy know about this?" I ask as I continue staring at the ring in his hand
"No she doesn't." He tells me
"Its pretty daddy." I tell him as I accept the chain and place it on my neck.
"If you ever need any information, go to the ruined cottage I took you to. Everything you need to know is in there. You just have to find it." There he's done it again. His words have returned the fear that I have felt moments before.
"Why are you telling me this?" I ask him in despair
"Because... Because I have a feeling something bad would happen to me. And our history must not be forgotten." He tells me and as usual he's correct. Because not a week after that conversation, an explosion from the mine shook the town and I knew immediately, even without going to the mines to see the survivors, that my father was dead.
Black... Next memory
I'm fifteen years old and I'm sitting in the stands of the school's gymnasium. Madge is at my side and we're watching the wrestling team compete against each other. Gale isn't with us because he thinks that watching people compete against each other is a waste of time, not to mention a luxury only the people from the town could afford since they didn't have to help their families. This led to a huge fight between Madge and him, in the end he stormed out after I took Madge's side.
I remember watching the fight with interest because the two competitors of this final round were siblings Rye Mellark and Peeta Mellark, I don't really know them, actually I only know them because the latter saved my life and by extension my family's life when I was twelve because he gave me two loaves of bread and risked a beating for me, even if he didn't know me. Sometimes though, I catch him staring at me in the hallway and I don't know why but it makes my heart flutter.
I watch amused as Madge the quiet, well mannered girl, that is if you aren't close to her, starts cheering and sometimes screaming profanities along with the entire crowd. Madge is the only one who knows the story behind the bread, after all she is my oldest friend. She was the one who suggested I go to this match along with the others to 'show my support' to Peeta. Somehow, I think she's trying to play match maker, again.
Black... next memory
I'm seventeen years old and I'm in the forest. I ran here despite the consequences of disobeying the New Head Peacekeeper might invoke upon me. I remember this day because it is the day I realize the impact that the mockingjay has. That day I ran away from the house after the wedding dresses arrived. I was more confused on who I truly loved Gale or Peeta.
I remember walking in the forest when I hear a twig snap behind me. Automatically, I raise my bow, an arrow already in place, ready to fire at a moments notice. I turn around to face my enemy, two female peacekeepers with guns in their hands.
"Stop!" One of them cries dropping the gun and raising her gloved hand to show me a cracker with my mockingjay stamped in the middle.
"What is it? What does it mean?" I ask them harshly.
"It means we're on your side." the smaller one said. I can see the clothes are too big for her and she's probably twisted her ankle.
She's dressed in an ill-fitting Peacekeeper's uniform complete with the white fur cloak, but it's several sizes too large for her slight frame. Her hands are occupied with steadying a rough crutch made from a broken branch. The toe of her right boot can't clear the snow, hence the dragging.
I examine the girl's face, which is bright red from the cold. Her teeth are crooked and there's a strawberry birthmark over one of her chocolate brown eyes. This is no Peacekeeper. No citizen of the Capitol, either.
"Who are you?" I ask warily but less belligerently.
"My name's Twill," The older woman says, she's probably in her thirties.
"And this is Bonnie. We've run away from District Eight."
District 8! Then they must know about the uprising!
"Where'd you get the uniforms?" I ask.
"I stole them from the factory," says Bonnie. "We make them there. Only I thought this one would be for ... for someone else. That's why it fits so poorly."
"The gun came from a dead Peacekeeper," says Twill, following my eyes.
"That cracker in your hand. With the bird. What's that about?" I ask.
"Don't you know, Katniss?" Bonnie appears genuinely surprised.
They recognize me. Of course they recognize me. My face is uncovered and I'm standing here outside of District 12 pointing an arrow at them. Who else would I be? "I know it matches the pin I wore in the arena."
"She doesn't know," says Bonnie softly. "Maybe not about any of it."
Suddenly I feel the need to appear on top of things. "I know you had an uprising in Eight."
"Yes, that's why we had to get out," says Twill.
"Well, you're good and out now. What are you going to do?" I ask.
"We're headed for District Thirteen," Twill replies.
"How'd you know Thirteen was still alive?" I question them, now I'm extremely curious. I look at our surroundings and find that we're close to the lake, the secret spot I shared with my father. The cottage isn't that far away. It wasn't really ruined, it just appeared that way.
"In the video. They use the same video and you can see a mockingjay fly on the exact same spot." Bonnie tells me.
"Hold on... You mean you KNOW Thirteen's still alive?" Twill questions. I nod.
"My father told me about it when I was little. So you mean to tell me you know about it because of some video." This time they both nod. I sigh.
"Come on. We're not to far away from my father's spot. I'll teach you how to hunt on the way there." I tell them as they follow me.
It takes longer to reach the cottage than usual because of Bonnie's ankle. On the way I teach them how to shoot an arrow, Yes, they found some of the weapons my father hid in the forest. It turns out Twill is good at using a bow even if it is her first time, Bonnie's good at snares and I teach them the different herbs they can and can't eat. During the brief pause in the lessons they tell me about the rebellion in district eight.
When we reach the cottage, I light the fire and bring out the tea set I left here when Gale was whipped. I suddenly remembered that District eight wasn't known as a food industry. In fact there wasn't even a blade of grass.
"Out of food?" I ask them. Bonnie nods while Twill frowns.
"We took what we could" Twill starts "but foods been so scarce, there was hardly any we could take." she finishes. I smile and pull out my game bag.
"Well, today's your lucky day." I tell them.
From the bag I pull two fresh buns with a layer of cheese baked into the top. We always seem to have a supply of these since Peeta found out they were my favorite. I toss one to Twill but cross over and place the other on Bonnie's lap since her hand-eye coordination seems a little questionable at the moment and I don't want the thing ending up in the fire.
"Oh," says Bonnie. "Oh, is this all for me?"
Something inside me twists as I remember another voice. Rue. In the arena. When I gave her the leg of groosling. "Oh, I've never had a whole leg to myself before." The disbelief of the chronically hungry.
"Yeah, eat up." I say. I hear the tea pot shriek and instantly know the tea's done. As I serve them tea I see them huddle together.
"So, what's your story?" I ask as the two launch into their tale.
Apparently district eight had always been discontented with how the Capitol handled things. However, there was a difference between talk and action. The day of the victory tour it was actually them practicing their placement. The night of the engagement was when everything started. It was mandatory viewing so everyone had an excuse to be out in the streets together. Twill was a teacher and Bonnie had been her student who was tasked with getting a uniform for Twill and her husband who were apparently supposed to go to other districts and spread the word. However, on the day they were supposed to leave the Capitol bombed the textile factory killing Twill's husband and Bonnie's family. The two had been at Twill's house, apparently they were late for their shift. Once they heard the explosion they immediately changed into the uniforms and ran.
As I sat there digesting the news, I thought of a problem in their plans. 'How were they going to get to district Thirteen?' I suddenly remembered my father's words. Everything you need to know is in there, you just have to find it. Is it possible? Perhaps, there was a map to Thirteen somewhere in this tiny cottage. I immediately stood up and started feeling the walls. They were all cement, if it isn't that, then perhaps it was the floor. I realized how crazy I must have looked to Bonnie and Twill by the look they gave me. I didn't pay any heed to it, though. I stepped on a loose board and it along with a large square clump sprang up.
That's it! I thought happily. I looked at what was under it. Underneath the dusty wooden floor was a metal panel with a handle. I tried to pull it up again and again, the two even tried to help me, but nothing happened. I was just about to give up when I saw something like a lock, only instead of the traditional key it needed something that looked like a ring. A RING of course! I could have hit my head at that moment as I pulled out the heir's ring and placed it in the lock. When it fit I couldn't help but smile. My dad's last gift my just help these two survive. As soon as I turned it I heard what must have been a large lock, well, unlock. As soon as I removed the ring, the panel sprang up to reveal a well lit staircase.
Cautiously, I motioned the two to follow me as I headed down the stairs. Once we were all in the panel closed and since the only other way out was down, well, that's where we went. Surprisingly, the room below had no trace of dust. We walk for awhile until we come across a door with writings on it. "Welcome to the Archives. Where a copy of every book, movie, show or periodical ever made has been collected from the numerous Libraries that once stood tall on the streets of the United States of America. Behind these doors is over two thousand years of history from the time before the Great War and the time of the rebuilding.- Carlos Everdeen"
'Ahh, there's the dust.' I think as a storm of dust attacks us the moment I open the door. I look at the room in amazement. On the left was rows upon rows of books, in the middle was a set of study tables, behind it a map of what must have been the world before the war, to the right was a set of comfy looking couches, a huge screen and rows of discs set in place. I approach the study tables first because I see somethings piled on to it. I think it may be maps and right now we need it.
I notice that Bonnie and Twill are no longer behind me but are now going around the room with childlike wonder. Well, Twill is, Bonnie is sitting on the couch. I take this time to collect my thoughts. I already know who I am in love with, the only problem is how I tell Gale that it isn't him. Although, I suspect he wouldn't be too heart broken. I smile as I think of Madge, who was hopelessly in love with him and had even begged her mother for some morphling for him. I think of Gale and how he seems to have recently become overly moody when the subject of Madge was brought up.
As I continue my search I think of my father and how right he had been. Under the cottage was the largest collection of history books in all of Panem. Everything I needed to know was in here. Finally, I find a copy of the map for Panem. I notice there are numerous maps and silently thank my ancestor for that. Should the need ever arise and the citizens of Twelve need to evacuate they can go here and find what they need.
"I found a map to Thirteen. Let's go." I tell the two who nod and silently follow me out. Shutting the door behind me. Once we reach the top of the stairs I remember that the panel closed once we entered. However, I found that I needn't have worried about it because as soon as I touched the panel it sprung open. Once the two were out, I made it a point to lock it properly.
"Well, I suppose this is where we part ways." I tell them as I hand them the map. Bonnie immediately breaks down and the two hug me. I hug them back and see them out of the cottage. Once I could no longer see them I turned around and returned to the fence only to find it humming with electricity. I remember my only thought was "Oh Damn."
Black... Next memory
The feel of Peeta's warm arms as I fall asleep is what engulfs me next. For a moment I see darkness before I see Saffron again. She's smiling at me and points to the mirror. The moment I look at it I feel my self falling. I remember the smell of bread as I look at the scene before me. Its my toasting. I see Madge and Gale sitting beside each other, Prim and Delly are sitting on Madge's right with Rye and Makki at Gales left. Peeta and I are at the head of the table exchanging our vows in front of our witnesses before toasting the bread and baking it. The moment we feed it to each other we kiss and I hear the others cheer. The scene flashes and I'm sitting in my living room, Prim, Makki and Rye are on one of the couches, me and Peeta are sitting on a love seat, our parents and Haymitch all look livid. Their yelling at us and after we exchange a few words I hear my mother sigh and say something. I feel myself immediately relax. I remember this, its my dream.
Black... Next memory
I've just finished survived being attacked by three overly romantic girls who I made the mistake to ask for help on getting me ready for what I've deemed the most important day of my life. My mother isn't going to know about this because she'd kill me if she finds out. Luckily, my mother won't be coming home tonight and would be gone most of the day tomorrow. This gives me and Peeta enough time to act like newly weds as much as we want.
I gasp when I see my reflection in my bedroom mirror. The dress came from Delly, it was of course, white, but it had a black lace on the bottom, which might I add only reached slightly below my knees. Madge had my hair down and curled at the bottom to frame my face, she and Delly ganged up on me when they put my make up on. Thankfully it wasn't as heavy as what my prep team would've done in this occasion. Prim found a nice pair of flat closed shoes that matched my dress. When they were done they instructed me to close my eyes as Delly placed a see through white cloth on my head and Madge pinned it with some of the diamond studded white hair pins Cinna gave me during the Victory Tour. When I opened my eyes I noticed the cloth on my head was actually a veil. Through my reflection, I noticed that I looked exactly like I did in my dream, actually the others did as well. Prim came up to me and gave me a bouqet of Primroses, Lavenders, and Dahlias she knew they were my favorite.
They smiled at me as they admired their handy work. "Ready?" Prim asks me and I just nod. I can't help feeling nervous about this. What if I messed up when I was saying my vows? Stop it. I tell myself. If I do, it won't matter. So they'll laugh its not like Peeta would stop loving you because of that. With that done I force my feet to move and while I walk I can't help the smile that spreads on my face nor the blush. In an hour I would no longer be Katniss Everdeen, I would be Katniss Mellark, well, not legally but who cares.When we reach Peeta's house none of us bother to knock but they do tell me to stay behind them for the great reveal.
I can't help but drop my mouth in shock when I see Peeta, he looks gorgeous. He isn't wearing a traditional tuxedo, but this whole thing isn't exactly traditional or legal, he's wearing a black long sleeved and black dress pants. I see the others wearing something similar as well. I laugh softly as I see Peeta trying to get a glimpse of me, but can't because of the three girls blocking me from view.
"Well Peeta Mellark are you ready to see your blushing bride?" Madge asks him teasingly as Peeta nods eagerly.
"Well then Here comes the bride, all dressed in white. To signify her as a pure, I mean it, extremely pure and untainted, bride." Delly adds as Peeta blushes and the other boys laugh.
"You can come out now Katniss." Prim tells me.
I smile as I hear Peeta gasp when he sees me. I see Makki nudge him and hear Rye say "She's a beauty. Your a lucky one Peeta." But it isn't this that catches my eye. Its the significant look Peeta and Gale share. When I reach Peeta, I look him in the eye.
"What was that?" I ask him as I accept the kiss from him.
"What was what?" He asks genuinely confused.
"That look you and Gale shared." I tell him and he laughs.
"Oh, that. Well, in the absence of your father he has decided to take the role of the Father/Older Brother and future Son-in-law/Brother-in-law speech. You know, the traditional hurt her and I won't rest until I kill you and have your head hanging on my wall speech." He tells me. I roll my eyes at that. Typical overprotective Gale.
With that he leads me to the table where the others have already gathered. He takes the bread first and says the traditional vows.
"On this day, in front of our friends and family and with God as our witness, I swear upon my body and soul to always love you with every fiber of my being. I promise to stay faithfully to you forever and in the event that I should stray may God smite me. I pledge to protect you from any and all dangers, to keep you out of harms way even if it is by my doing. I vow to take care of you when you are sick and to cherish whatever children we have, to treat them as the treasures they are." With that he toasts the bread and feeds it to me. I do the same and after I've finished saying my vows and have already fed my bread to Peeta, we kiss. I hear everyone cheer and congratulate us.
Black... Next memory
I'm sitting on a love seat beside Peeta, on the couch beside us Prim, Makki and Rye sit together looking down as Peeta's Parents, My mother and Haymitch all scold us after they discovered our secret marriage. Peeta's witch of a mother is screeching profanities at us, while his father, looks, well lets just say I can tell he has mixed emotions, though I must comend him on his pokerface. My mother is shaking with fury and Haymitch, drunk as always still manages to look disapproving.
Finally after what seemed like hours, my mother-in-law, Esther has finished her rant and Peeta's father has taken over.
"Why did you do it?" He questions us, his tone only slightly above irritated.
"Because, we wanted something that was ours." I answer blankly, the adults all look at us with raised eyebrows.
"Ours, as in, something we decided on our own. Something that wasn't the Capitol's design, something we didn't have to do because there were cameras directed at us." Peeta tells them. It has the immediate effect. My mother-in-law's face softens immediately, my father-in-law, Tristan, looks at us sadly, Haymitch closes his eyes and my mother just sighs.
"Alright" She says as the Mellarks particularly Esther looks at her in shock.
"Your not giving in are you, Capri?" She asks
"Yes, I am. Let them have their fun. After all..." My mother didn't finish the sentence. She didn't need to. We all know it means that with the Quarter Quell fast approaching we at least deserve some happiness.
"Fine. We consent to this marraige." Tristan says as his wife just nods.
"As unwilling as I am. I consent to this idiot's marraige to my goddaughter." Haymitch says as we all look at him in shock.
"You're my WHAT?" I ask
"Godfather. In case you've forgotten I was your father's bestfriend. Who do you think gave you that red dress you wore on your first day of school?" He tells me.
"Wait, if your my Godfather than who's me Godmother?" I ask
"Who else, but, Darla Undersee." My mother said
"Okay, then..." Peeta says
"Right, I do have a few rules. First the two of you have to live in this house." My mother says
Black... Next memory
It's the morning of the reaping and I'm sitting in the dining room table with my mother, Prim, Peeta and surprisingly Haymitch. The meal is subdued and there's a thick silence thats hanging over us, each of us, afraid to break the silence. I remember this because it's one of the worst days of my life, yesterday, Delly and Madge had taken me to the doctor because I've been feeling ill. I didn't go to my mother because she already had so much to worry about. Yesterday, I found out I was pregnant... with twins.
I sigh and put down my fork. Everyone looks at me since I'm the first to break this silence. I think of the instructions I gave them last year and think about simply reminding them when I remember my father's words, the archive under Twelve, our family history and how I haven't told Prim about any of it. I decide to give her the ring instead and tell her about what do to get down to the archive, however, I won't tell her what's in there. The Capitol may be listening after all.
"Prim, if anything happens. Any emergency comes up and you all need to run" I start as I reach for the chain on my neck. "I want you to have this." I tell her as I remove the chain and ring and hand it to her.
"Katniss, this is so pretty. Where did you get this?" Prim asks me
"Dad gave it to me before he died. Listen, in the forest, there's a lake there with a lush wildlife and some herbs. Go there if anything happens." I tell her
"Katniss, relax nothings going to happen." My mother tells me, I think she's worried about my mental health. I, however, choose to ignore her.
"There's a ruined cottage there, look for a set of loose flooring and pull it up, use the necklace as a key and get down there. Everything you need to know will be there." I tell her urgently.
"Okay, I will." she tells me
"Promise?" my voice takes a pleading tone
"I promise" she assures me
Black... Next memory
The prep team has just finished with me and I'm standing in front of the mirror naked, waiting for Cinna to arrive. While I wait for him, I have an internal debate on whether or not I should tell him about the baby, and, if I do, how? I'm buried so deep in my thoughts that I don't see Cinna come in. He coughs and I jump, startled. I see him smiling at me and instantly I feel relieved, if there's anyone I can count on with this secret, anyone I can trust, its him. I remember this moment well because this is the moment I sealed Cinna's fate.
"Put your robes back on, let's eat first." He tells me. I nod because as soon as I thought about food, I'm suddenly famished.
We eat in silence for awhile before I decide to tell him. I stand up and sit beside him.
"I have a secret that you have to promise not to tell anyone." I tell him as he looks at me in shock.
"What is it?" he asks but instead of answering him I grab one of his hands and place it on the spot where I know my babies are growing. It takes him a full minute to process it, and when he does, his eyes grow serious.
"Are you sure" he asks me and I just nod
"Who's?" I just raise my eyebrow at him and he immediately get's the message. It's Peeta's
"Does he know?" he asks, I nod
"How far along are you?" I smile grimly
"A month and a half." I tell him
"Do you know what you're having." this question makes me hesitate. How will he react. I just settle for nodding, I hope he takes the hint that I don't want to answer it.
"Well" he pushes and I sigh
"Twins, a boy and a girl. By the looks of it." I tell him and immediately regret it when I see the fire in his eyes. I know immediately that he's going to do something that's both stupid and deadly.
Black... Next memory
Peeta and I are on the roof of the training center. It's late afternoon and my head is on his lap, I'm making a crown of flowers while he plays with my hair. I remember this because it was the last romantic moment we had together.
After awhile his hands stop and he sighs. I look at him curiously.
"What is it?" I ask
"I just wish I can freeze this moment, right here, right now, and live in it forever." He says and I smile sadly at him.
"I do too." I answer him truthfully, we're quiet for awhile, It's Peeta that breaks the silence.
"Katniss" he calls me softly
"Hmm?" I look at him questioningly
"Can you... can you sing for me?" he asks me hesistantly. I'm quiet for awhile, I think about it and realize that, even if he fell in love with me for my voice, I have never once sang for him and him alone.
"Okay" I reply and he smiles
"Then you'll sing?" he asks and I nod. I pause, thinking of a song, when I remember a song my mother used to sing for me. She told me she learned it from one of her bestfriends. My mother has a nice voice, but it isn't like my father's that can make even the mockingjays fall silent. I sit up and face him. Its now or never, I think as I open my mouth.
If I could take this moment forever
Turn the pages of my mind
To another place and time
We would never say goodbye
If I could find the words I would speak them
Then I wouldn't be tongue-tied
When I looked into your eyes
We would never say goodbye
If I could stop the moon ever rising
Day would not become the night
Wouldn't feel this cold inside
And we'd never say goodbye
I wish that our dreams were frozen
Then our hearts would not be broken
When we let each other go...
If I could steal this moment forever
Paint a picture-perfect smile
So our story stayed alive
We would never say goodbye
As the last notes echo in the silent rooftop I notice that I have started crying again. I notice Peeta is crying as well. I know why, the song expresses what the two of us feel right now. How we wish we could live in this moment forever and not have to worry about losing each other in the Hunger Games.
"That was beautiful. Thank you Katniss." Peeta tells me softly, through his tears. I lean forward and kiss him.
Black... Next memory
I'm in the cafeteria laughing at some joke Finnick said. It's a few days after the incident with Peeta. We all stop laughing when we notice him standing behind the seat beside Johanna. Johanna tells him he can sit with us and then says something about knowing each other by their screams, that has Annie almost going of into her own world. Luckily, Finnick stops her and pulls her up, saying that they'd be going out for a walk. I remember this day because of what happens next.
"You better take care of her Finnick. Or I might just steal her away from you." Peeta says as they were leaving. By the tone he used you can tell he was serious. This has me flinching as I think about what it implies. The fact that he no longer loves me. Gale immediately grabs my hand under the table as he sees me near tears, damn hormones. While Finnick shoots me a meaningful glance, Delly I can tell is obviously pissed by this comment, but I'm not really sure, I'm just going by the way her eye is twitching.
"Oh, Peeta, don't make me regret restarting your heart." Finnick says as they leave.
"So are you two together now?" Peeta questions as we all look at him in shock.
"Nah, I think the two of them just make out in closests somewhere." Johanna says as I glare at her, from the side I could see Peeta's hands ball into fists.
"You know, I never would have believed it if I hadn't seen it myself." Gale says harshly
"Seen what?" Peeta questions
"Oh, the mutt they've replaced you with." Johanna answers.
Delly's eye starts twitching uncontrollably, from behind her I see Prim enter and I remember I have an appointment with one of the Doctors. With that I stand up, this immediately ends any discussion as they all look at me questioningly.
"I have an appointment with a Doctor." I tell them and Delly's eyes immediately stop twitching and take on its worried look.
"They want to see if everythings alright after my mishap in Two, with my due date only a few days away." I tell her quickly.
By this time Prim has already reached us and Gale has already stood up."Your mother asked me to make sure nothing happens to you when she can't be there." Gale tells me as he takes my tray and his over to dispose of it.
We were almost out the door when I hear the sound of someone being slapped hard, followed by someone screaming. I turn just in time to have my last glimpse of the cafeteria be, Delly who is at this point screaming at Peeta who has a red hand print on his cheek. Ouch, that must have hurt and he probably deserved it to get the mild mannered Delly to cross the line.
Black... Next memory
I've just entered the room and I notice Johanna isn't in her bed yet. I smile, sometime to think to myself. I'm happy because I saw Bonnie and Twill, apparently, their volunteers for the medical wing of Thirteen. I change out of the dull grey sweats that they've assigned us, into a nightgown I got from my house in Twelve. As soon as my head hits the pillow, though, I fall asleep. I only wake up when Johanna flops herself onto my bed. I remember this moment because this is when my relationship with Johanna changes.
"It was so hillarious. You should have seen it. Peeta made a totally inappropriate comment about you, Gale and some chick named Madge and Delly compeletly blew her top and slapped Peeta. It looked really painful, mind you, and she started screaming at him about how the two of you wouldn't do that. And that he should respect Madge, because she's dead and all. Oh, and that Gale wouldn't replace her with you because the two of you are like siblings." Johanna said laughing, apparently, she hasn't notice the fact that I flinch everytime she says Madge's name. What she does notice is my silence.
"So, who is this Madge chick you guys keep on mentioning." Johanna asks.
"Madge is the mayor's daughter, my best friend and Gale's late girlfriend. She died when the district was bombed. It turns out Haymitch warned them that something might happen during the Quell so they'd better be prepared to evacuate. Her father died because he ran into the Justice building and sounded the alarm, he didn't get out fast enough, he died a few feet away, her mother had died evacuating the elderly, Gale evacuated the people from the Seam and our families, Delly was in charge of the children, Madge was in charge of the rest of the town. She died because she noticed Peeta's family wasn't there and she ran back. Delly told me that it was because of Peeta's mother, Esther, being stubborn that the family was delayed. Gale didn't notice that Madge wasn't among the survivors until it was too late." I told her as I felt the tears spill down from my eyes.
"Oh" that was all Johanna said as she handed me my hanky. I looked at her and before I could stop myself I blurted out the words I had been too unsure to say.
"Johanna, do you want to be my daughter's godmother?" I ask her.She doesn't respond for awhile, I can tell I've caught her by surprise.
"Are you sure?" She asked me cautiously as if she's afraid I might take it back
"Positive." I tell her and she smiles at me
"Okay then. I'd be honored." She tells me.
"Great, so that's you and Delly as godmothers and Gale and Finnick as godfathers." I tell her
"Finnick?" she asks me with a raised eyebrow, I nod
"I would have thought you would choose Haymitch." she tells me
"No way. He's the worst godfather ever." I tell her
"Oh, and how would you know?" she asks me amused
"Because, he's my godfather." I state plainly as she laughs in disbelief. We end up ignoring our schedule as we spend the rest of the day talking about the babies. Even now, when they aren't even born, I can already tell, they'll be an important part of Johanna's life. I can see it in the way her eyes shine as she asks me questions about my unborn children. Maybe, just maybe, this is what she needs, to get over whatever cruelties the Capitol has done to her.
Black... Next memory
It's dinner time and we're all back in the cafeteria. Somehow, we all know Peeta won't be gracing us with his presence this meal time. I remember this moment because of the glee I saw in the eyes of everyone at our table. It was almost like it was during lunch. Finnick, Annie, Delly, Gale, Johanna and I sitting in a table together, only this time Haymitch and Beetee has decided to join us.
"Hey, Finnick" I start as he looks at me and Johanna smiles at him knowingly, Gale and Delly share a look, I suppose they know what I'm about to ask him. "Do you want to be my son's godfather?" I ask as Annie squeals in delight.
"Well, I guess , all I have to say is" he starts in that low and seductive tone he used in the Capitol "HELL YES!" he finishes with an enthusiastic shout that has everyone in our table laughing while the others from the surrounding table look at us in shock.
"Indoor voice, Finnick." Annie scolds him while he looks sheepish and kisses her.
I think Finnick woke the babies up because the moment Annie scolds him, the twins decide to tag team their poor mother and kick me at the same time.
"Ouch!" I let out involuntarily and rather loudly as I instinctively place my hand on my stomach. I notice everyone in the table looks at me worried.
"It's nothing. I think Finnick woke them up. Now their rather cranky." I tell them as I take Johanna's hand and place it on my stomach. Gale and Delly already know what it feels like because they've been helping me since my stomach got to big for me to move fast. Johanna's eyes go wide and her lips form a true smile.
"Is that them?" She asks me as I nod
"Hey, I want to feel my godchild too." Finnick says as he stands up and places his hand on my stomach, Annie follows him and soon the three of them are akwardly cooing my stomach.
"How do you get them to calm down?" Haymitch asks me
"I sing to them" I respond
"That's funny. I haven't heard you sing." Johanna tells me
"That's because they finally got the message that mommy doesn't like waking up in the middle of the night." I retort
"Can I hear you sing?" Annie asks sweetly and I smile at her. It's just so hard to say no to Annie.
When the night is still,
And the sea is calm,
Lonely shadow, you fall upon me.
Lay by my side,
Fear not tonight,
Lonely shadow, you'll find a new light.
Dream a dream
And see through angel's eyes
A place where we can fly away.
Ride with me upon a shining star,
Above the moonlit sky
We will find Elysium.
Hear the nightingale
Sing a lullaby
Lonely shadow, you'll find a new light.
Dawn will be kind,
All will be bright,
Lonely shadow, rise from the darkness.
Dream a dream
And see through angel's eyes
A place where we can fly away.
Ride with me upon a shining star,
Above the moonlit sky and so
We'll Dream a dream
And see through angel's eyes
A place where we can fly away.
We'll Dream a dream
And see through angel's eyes
A place where we can fly away.
Elysium
As I finish singing I notice the cafeteria has gone silent. I look up to see that everyone is looking at me in awe. Well, everyone except for Haymitch, who has his eyes narrowed at me. Someone starts clapping and soon enough everyone is, even Haymitch.
"Wow, you really do have a nice voice." Johanna says as Finnick nods in agreement. I see Delly with tears in her eyes, I think she remembers the first time I sang, Madge was there, and she encouraged me to sing.
"That was really beautiful. Thank you Katniss." Annie tells me, little did she know her words send me back to the night in the training center's roof. My last real night with Peeta.
"Where did you learn that song?" Haymitch asks me harshly as everyone looks at him in shock.
"Now, you don't have to be so rude, Haymitch. Katniss has just given us a great performance." Beetee reprimands him.
I continue to stare at Haymitch. Where did I learn that song? My father of course, just like I know all of the other songs. My father learned it from one of my mother's bestfriends who is... Oh, Haymitch's late fiancée. I instinctively reach for my father's ring. Prim returned it to me when I arrived in Thirteen. She didn't go to the archive.
"No, its okay Beetee" I start "I learned it from my father." I tell him. I won't elaborate any further because it might just bring back more unwanted memories for Haymitch.
"Typical Petrarch. Can't keep his mouth shut when he sings." Haymitch says with a sigh as he starts laughing.
Black... Next memory
I'm sleeping soundly when I feel a stab of pain that wakes me up. I notice the bed is wet just in time for another wave of pain to hit me. Instantly I know what's happening and I'm happy that it's Johanna that's with me. I remember this day because it's the second most important day for me.
"Johanna!" I shout and I see her sit up instantly.
"Wha's goin' on?" She asks me groggily. I almost laugh because she had started taking a more active role in helping me with my pregnancy since I asked her to be a godmother, mind you it was just a week ago.
"Call my mother. I've just gone into labor." I tell her and instantly I see all the sleep wash away from her.
"You sure?" she asks me.
"Of course I'm sure. What else could it be?" I snap at her.
"Okay, I'm just making sure." she says and with that she's out the door and across the hall, pounding on my mother's door.
Black... Next memory
I remember how right it felt the first time I held them. It's a few hours after the incident in the room, Johanna stayed with me through the entire delivery as my mother acted as the midwife and Prim has disappeared. I didn't find out until later what she had done. I remember this moment because this is the first time I've held my babies, and, I can't help but cry as I remembered Peeta's promise to me a few months ago. During the night of our toasting 'I swear to be there for you through out any pregnancies you may have, and to be there with you, holding your hand when you bring them into the world.' I curse the Capitol because obviously he can't be here to fulfill that promise because of the hijacking.
The doors swing open as Gale, Delly, Haymitch, Finnick and Annie enter. They all congratulate me before they start cooing at their godchildren. Prim enters after them and tells me that they made her promise to call them the moment I go into labor no matter what. The moment Johanna woke my mother and Prim up, she rushed to their rooms and all of them proceeded to wait and or pace outside the room.
"They're so cute. What are you going to name them?" Delly asks me
"This little girl is Madeline Anne Everdeen-Mellark." I tell her as Gale's head immediately snaps up to look at me, his eyes shining with tears at the significance of the name I've given his goddaughter.
"And the boy?" Annie asks, after all, by extension she is also his godmother.
"Patrick Rye Everdeen-Mellark." I answer as Delly looks at me sadly, she knows why I named him Rye, he was after all Peeta's favorite brother.
"Well, I can tell he's going to be a heartthrob." Finnick tells me grinning, while I roll my eyes and smile as well. This, this is my new family, the people I can trust with my children should something happen to me and Peeta is still under the influence of the venom.
Black... Next memory
I enter my room inside President Snow's mansion and I immediately see my children sleeping soundly in their cribs. It seems like Johanna and Delly have done a good job at getting them to sleep. I manage to muster a smile for them but even that is half-hearted. My mind is cloudy because of my previous conversation with Snow. I remember this moment clearly because it's the reason why I'm here, reliving my most important memories. It's the moment I decide death is my only escape.
I sit on my desk and take out a piece of paper and pen, I intend to write a letter to Peeta, to explain my actions to him. I don't owe anything to Gale because he's the reason my sister is dead. My mother, Delly, Johanna and Haymitch will know what to do. So the only person I have to write to is to him. However, no matter how hard I try, I can't seem to think of anything to say, anything I would want to say. Where should I start? I think as the tears start to make their way down my eyes. Suddenly, my children are crying and I go to them, rock their cribs as I sing to them the songs that only I knew, rather, I'm the only person alive who knows them, apart from Haymitch of course, but he doesn't count because he's always drunk.
There's a place for us,
Somewhere a place for us.
Peace and quiet and open air
Wait for us somewhere.
I pray that this is true. That there is something nice waiting for me out there.
There's a time for us,
Someday a time for us.
Time together with time to spare,
Time to learn,
time to care.
The time for me has already passed. I've stained my hands with the blood of countless people.
Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living,
We'll find a way of forgiving,
Somewhere.
I hope they can all learn to forgive me for what I am about to do.
There's a place for us,
A time and place for us.
Hold my hand and we're halfway there
Hold my hand and I'll take you there,
Somehow, someday, somewhere.
I wonder what my after life would be like? Will it be heaven or hell for me?
Someday, somewhere
We'll find a new way of living,
We'll find a way of forgiving,
Somewhere.
I hope that Finnick, Boggs and the others can forgive me for their deaths. I think about the final moments of the 74th Hunger Games, how everything would have been different if I had just killed myself. I think of the people who died because of that one moment. Prim, Boggs, Finnick, Lyme, Mags, Wiress, Seader, Chaff, Cecilia, Woof, the Morphling Addicts, all of them dead because of me. Dead because Snow changed the Quarter Quell card and sent them back to the arena with me. Well, not Lyme, she died in two.
There's a place for us,
A time and place for us.
Hold my hand and we're halfway there
Hold my hand and I'll take you there,
I wish that if I closed my eyes right now, I'd be back in the meadow with all of my loved ones.
As I hit the last notes of my song I close my eyes and imagine the meadow back in Twelve with everyone having fun, like they did at the end of the Victory Tour. I immediately begin my next song.
May it be an evening star
Shines down upon you
May it be when darkness falls
Your heart will be true
You walk a lonely road
Oh! How far you are from home
I think of how true those words are. District Twelve is gone and I am no longer the girl I was before the Hunger Games.
Mornië utúlië (Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now
I look at my children and think of the hope they bring me, I think of the people they can inspire. So innocent, yet, their existance has helped us all bare the pain this war has brought.
May it be the shadow's call
Will fly away
May it be your journey on
To light the day
When the night is overcome
You may rise to find the sun
They are my sun. They calm my fears and drive away the darkness, something that, once upon a time, only their father could do.
Mornië utúlië (Darkness has come)
Believe and you will find your way
Mornië alantië (Darkness has fallen)
A promise lives within you now
A promise lives within you now
Yes, they have a whole life ahead of them. One where they can influence so many people, where they can change history.
The children fall asleep after that and I stop rocking the cribs. I return to my desk and grab the pen. This time, I know what to write. Where to start. I can't stop the tears that fall. I start it by reminding him he still has the twins and my mother to take care of, then I continue to my family history, the reason why I must die. Finally, I end it by telling him what he means to me, I remind him how much I love him. With that I seal the letter and head out the door.
It doesn't take long to get to Haymitch's room, its just two doors down. I open it to find him in his ever intoxicated state. He takes one look at me and immediately he knows that it would be best to keep his mouth shut. I hand him the letter and he just looks at it. He knows its not for him but he doesn't know why I'm giving it to him to keep and probably deliver at a later date.
"It's for Peeta." I whisper, for a moment he doesn't reply, I almost think he hasn't heard what I said
"I can see that, Sweetheart." He tells me in a voice as equally quiet as mine.
"Give it to him. You'll know the right time. I don't think I can face him. Not right now." I tell him, he has yet to take the letter from me.
"Why? What are you thinking?" He asks and I cringe internally, nothing escapes him even if he is drunk.
"Please, just don't ask any questions." I beg him, almost nearing tears. He looks alarmed
"Alright." He says immediately and takes the letter for him. I turn around ready to leave but I pause before I open the door.
"Thank You, Haymitch." I tell him and in my mind I add the words for everything.
Black... Next memory
I'm sitting in a room with the remaining Victors, which consists of only Beetee, Enobaria, Johanna, Peeta, Haymitch and I. Wow, we're all that's left. Plutarch and President Coin are there and right now we're all looking at them in disbelief. I remember this moment because it's the moment that proves what Snow said, about how much of a tyrant Coin is. All I can remember thinking is 'Is this real?'
Coin has just asked us if we wanted to host one final Hunger Games with the Capitol's children. The children of those in high government positions that is. Enobaria and Johanna immediately vote yes. Peeta, Beetee and Annie vote no and now everyone's looking at me and Haymitch. I close my eyes and think, if we do hold another Hunger Games who's to say we could stop there. What if we couldn't, if the people's lust for the Capitol's blood makes it a tradition. I think of the possibility of another rebellion and how that would affect my children. My hands go to my neck as I pull out the chain and close my eyes, my hand gripping my father's ring tight, as if I could get some wisdom. My thoughts go to Haymitch and how much his victory cost him.
"Haymitch, what was her name?" I ask him as he looks at me in shock
"Who?" he asks though we both know who I'm referring to.
"Your late fiancée, the one the Capitol executed because you won. The one who taught my father those songs no one else knows, my mother's other best friend." I tell him and I see him flinch at my words. The others are watching our exchange with curiosity.
"Her name was Saffron Ryder. She was just eighteen years old and... and she was pregnant." He tells me his eyes are closed but the pain is evident in his voice.
"I'm sorry. But, I really have to ask, What did she think of the Hunger Games?" I ask him, his eyes snap open and he looks at me.
"She hated it. She was afraid our children would get taken away by the Capitol, and when I won, she had panic attacks, because she knew that they would most likely be reaped because I'm a victor. In fact she would probably have my head if she were here, for even considering having another Hunger Games. But she's not because of Snow." He tells me.
"So, she was like me. She feared the thought of having children because they would surely be reaped. I bet she didn't want children until she found out she was pregnant." I tell him and he nods
"Before I went into the arena, I detested the thought of falling in love because of my mother. I detested the thought of getting married and having children because I knew I could lose them to the Games, now, I have two wonderful children. And... and I don't think I can let anyone else live with the fear I lived with all my life. Even if they are from the Capitol. Why condemn the children for something their parents had done? After all wasn't there the saying 'Do the sons bear the sins of the Father' and a response to that was 'The person who sins will die. The son will not bear the punishment for the father's iniquity, nor will the father bear the punishment for the son's iniquity; the righteousness of the righteous will be upon himself, and the wickedness of the wicked will be upon himself.' So I guess that's my answer." I tell them
"I vote" I start "No!" I see Peeta smile at me as we turn to Haymitch.
"Saffron wouldn't have wanted it so, No." He says.
A flash of light and I'm standing in front of Saffron once again. Saffron, Saffron. Wait a minute. Oh. My. God. I think as I look at her. I notice we're standing in a room with a comfy looking living room set that's facing a mirror that spans the entire wall, on both sides are two doors.
"You're Haymitch's..." I say in shock as she nods.
"Why are you here? Wherever here is." I ask
"You're in the decision room. It's where you decide if you stay in the afterlife or if you return to the land of the living. I'm here to guide you through it." She tells me
"Are you the guardian of the room?" I ask as she shakes her head.
"Your guide has to be someone who you have a connection too, but won't be able to influence your decision by making you choose what they want. It just so happened that I was the perfect person for the job." she explains.
"What if I stay?" I ask
"See for yourself." She said as she ushers me to the door on the left and I obediently follow. I can't stop the gasp that escapes my lips. The scenery is breathtaking. It was full of trees, and flowers, animals roamed the property, there was a lake and beautiful houses built by it. But that wasn't what made me gasp, no, it was the fact that everyone who I cared about that died was having a picnic in what looked like the meadow back home. Something seemed wrong though.
"Can they see me?" I ask without taking my eyes off of the peaceful scenery.
"No, they know your here but they can't see you." she tells me
I'm about to pass through the door when she stops me. I look at her questioningly.
"If you go through this door, it means you've decided to stay in the afterlife. Don't forget, whatever you choose is permanent." She tells me sadly.
"I don't see why I need to go back. No one needs me." I whisper. She just shakes her head and sighs.
"That's not true. They still need you." This makes me angry. No one needs me.
"The rebellion's over! No one needs me anymore!" I snap at her.
"I never said they needed the mockinjay. I meant your children, your friends, your mother and your husband needed you." She says softly. Instantly I think of my mother, my poor mother who has already lost her husband and one daughter, she doesn't need to lose another one. Delly who's been supporting me while dealing with the loss of her parents, she needs her last remaining female friend. Then there's Gale, I suppose I can forgive him, it wasn't his fault after all. My children, their too young to grow up without their mother. Finally, Peeta, he's just getting better, I need to be there for him.
Suddenly, I feel someone grab my left hand and I immediately feel warmth spread from it, that's when I hear Peeta's voice "Please wake up. For your mother, for Madeline and Patrick, for me." He whispers, it didn't matter though, I could hear it as clearly as if he was shouting the words into my ear. Instantly, I knew what it meant, there was only one reason why he'd be there by my bedside, without worrying about having an episode, he's back, My Peeta's back, he beat the tracker jacker venom.
That did the trick, I step away from the door and allow Saffron to close it before I head to the other door. However, I suddenly think of something and I stop halfway.
"What happened to Snow and Coin." I ask while Saffron laughs.
"They've been sentenced to an eternity in Hell for their crimes. See." She tells me as she points to the mirror. Except it isn't a mirror anymore. It's a screen.
"This is all your fault snowflake. If you didn't provoke me I wouldn't be here." Coin says while I laugh Snowflake?
"Oh sure put all the blame on me. You're not so innocent yourself Al." Snow retorts and soon enough the two of them are screaming.
The screen turns back into a mirror as I digest what just happened. A few minutes later I see Saffron looking down, she's standing by the door of the living.
"What is it?" I ask her
"Can you do me a favor." that wasn't what I was expecting
"Sure" I reply
"Tell Haymitch, tell him that I love him and I'm happy here. But, those here in Heaven can watch their loved ones, and, I'm not happy with what I see. He has to stop living in the past, get over it and stop drinking. It's not good for him." She tells me, at this point, I can see she's about to cry. She must really love him.
"I will" I promised her.
"One last thing" she started as she removed the chain and placed it on my right hand "give this to him as proof that you talked to me. Tell him not to open it unless Capri and the others are there. Let's just say we found a way to send one last message but someone has to deliver it." She finishes as she gives me a hug. After that I step through the door.
The next thing I'm aware of is Peeta crying beside me, with him gripping my left hand tightly. I squeeze it to let him know I'm alright. The moment I open my eyes I see Peeta looking at me with relief and tears in his eyes. When it doesn't stop, I start to worry that he might be hurt.
"Peeta, what's wrong? Are you okay?" I ask but he only laughs in response
"I'm fine. Better than that. I'm perfect." he says as he hugs me. We stay like that for awhile before he pulls away and holds me at arms length. His blue eyes catch mine and I can't help but stare at them, I'm trapped by the intensity of his gaze.
"Katniss, don't you ever scare me like that again." He tells me, his tone is serious and I can see the pain and hurt in his eyes, caused by my latest moment of insanity and selfishness.
"I won't." I promise him as I lean in for a kiss. Unfortunately, Haymitch chooses this time to enter.
"Well, it seems like you two have everything under control." He teases as the two of us break away. Seeing Haymitch reminds me of my promise to Saffron, and casting a glance at my right hand to make sure it wasn't a dream, start speaking.
"Haymitch! I spoke to Saffron. She's the one who convinced me to go back instead of staying in the afterlife." I blurt out without thinking of the consequences of my ill chosen words.
The effect it has on Haymitch is instantaneous. The bottle in his hand falls to the floor and shatters, his eyes are wide and his lips are pressed tightly together.
"What did you just say?" He asks me angrily as he slowly makes his way towards me. Peeta stands up to stop Haymitch from getting to me, as if that would protect me from the wrath of an angry and drunk Haymitch.
I immediately raise my right hand and wave the chain in front of him. This makes him stop.
"How? Where did you get that?" He asks me, his face drained of blood.
"She told me you wouldn't believe me, so she gave me the chain, locket and ring to prove to you that I did talk to her." I told him as I handed it to him. Once he had it in his hand I can see him hold it tightly and kiss the locket.
"What did she say?" He asks me quietly as he sits down on one of the chairs in my room.
"She told me to tell you that she loves you and that she's happy where she is, but what she's not happy about is how you waste your life in alcohol. Apparently, they have a way to watch what happens here in the land of the living. Oh, and you aren't supposed to open the locket without mom and the others. She says that they found a way to deliver one final message but I had to bring that back." I tell him. I can see he is eager to hear the message as he rushes out.
A/N: the songs in the chapter are "I am a thousand Winds" "Never Say Goodbye" by Hayley Westenra the other one is "Dream a Dream" by Charlotte Church and "Somewhere" & "May it Be" by Hayley Westenra. The last song is actually a cover. The Bible passage is from Ezekiel 18:20