"La llave para cambiar suelta temor."

"The key to change is letting go of fear."

The next morning found Psymon sitting in the upstairs window watching his aunts, uncles, and cousins leaving. After the event of yesterday, he couldn't bare to show his face. He couldn't look at himself right let alone anybody else. As if the delusions and blackouts weren't bad enough, his dreams were even worse. He hadn't had a dream in some time, only nightmares. He wakes up throughout the night. His fear of his sanity slipping is coming true.

"Are you ready to leave?" Elise asked.

"Yea let's go."

The Combs climbed into their respectable vehicles and began to drive home.

"You ok?"

Psymon glanced at Elise, "Yea I'm ok."

"What are you thinking about?"

Psymon took a long pause before answering. What should he tell her? There was obviously something wrong and she was reading him like a book. He wanted to spill his heart out and reach out for help, but he wanted to keep his masculinity intact as well. He didn't want to bring up a topic that was already discussed.

"Psymon?"

"Don't worry about it. I'm ok." He lit a cigarette and continued on driving home.

After an hour of exhausting silence they arrived in front of Elise's house.

Elise collected her things opening the door, "Ok so I guess I'll see you-,"

"I don't want you to break up with me because of everything you saw. I guess I panicked and I got scared and my mind was playing tricks on me and-"

Elise silenced him with a kiss. He could practically feel her passion in this moment.

"I love you," she told him.

He smiled, "I love you too."

Over the next month Psymon had been silent and more distant from his peers. He still saw his wonderful girlfriend and his friends. He had taken a step back from class clown status for a minute being too involved within his own thoughts.

Psymon walked on down the sidewalk, he liked walking in the snow rather than driving. Elise had stayed home from school today, she said she wasn't feeling well. She hasn't for the past week. He had bought her canned soup and seltzer water. She tried almost every day for the last month trying to get him to talk. He just didn't want to talk. To anyone. Not to her, not to his family or friends. He didn't want to seem weak. Besides, it was probably already too late for help.

He arrived at her house as she let him in. She admired his baggy hoodie and jeans. She loved everything, even the way he didn't tie the laces on his black boots. "Gotcha something," he told her.

He held out the bag as she peered inside, "You're a sweetheart," she said.

They moved into the kitchen as she grabbed a two bowls, but Psymon declined, "I don't really have an appetite right now."

She put one bowl back, "You haven't had one in a while."

'Probably cause you took it,' he thought to himself. She had been eating a little more then usual, he noticed she had gained a few pounds but would never utter it to her. Was he really stressing her put that much?

They sat at the island across from each other. He watched her blow on the hot soup, 'I've been losing weight and she's been gaining, ironic.' He laughed aloud.

"What?" she asked smiling.

"Nothing, how are you feeling today?"

"Ugh, I was nauseous this morning. I'm a little tired now but I'm ok."

"Good."

She had finished and they walked upstairs to her room and laid on the bed. He wrapped his arms around her, closing his eyes. She did the same feeling the side of his body. She knew he didn't like talking about his weight so she didn't bring it up too often. She knew he had been stressing himself thinking about the terrifying events of Christmas. She had been thinking about it too. She had decided right there this needed to end, he needed to open up and get over this or he was going to shrink into nothing. She sat up abruptly.

He looked confused. "Psymon," she started, "I know you don't want to talk about what happened Christmas but you need to tell me what your thinking about. It's affecting everybody whether you realize it or not. Your family is worried, your friends are worried. Its stressing me out and its hurting you."

He opened his mouth to speak but she cut him off, "Look at you! How much weight have you lost?" He had to stop her, she was getting angrier the more she spoke. He sat up as well, with a still surprised look on his face. "You can't be that tall and that thin. And you don't sleep!"

"Elise! Holly shit, ok let's talk."

She sighed, calming down, "I'm sorry."

"It's ok. I've just been really scared of going crazy. I don't know what to do. I don't want to be locked up in a loony bin somewhere talking to myself and hallucinating. I'm just so afraid. I'd be ok if I didn't slip every now and again," Psymon looked up to not see Elise sitting on the bed next to him, but his little six year old brother, Nicky. Psymon eyes were as wide as dinner plates, he gasped.

"Psymon? Are you ok?" Nicky asked.

Psymon rubbed his eyes whining audibly. "Psymon?" he heard Elise's voice.

He looked at her instantly, then stood. "See? It's happening again! It's not gunna stop, this shit is gunna haunt me for the rest of my life!"

"Sit down, what just happened."

"You weren't you, you were my little brother for a minute! See? I'll probably be fucking crazy in the next year. What do I do? Do understand why I don't wanna talk? Every time I get really emotional I have an episode!"

Elise stood up and walked over to where he was standing and ranting. She wrapped her arms around his waist hugging him. "I'll find you help ok? I know we're only seventeen but we'll get through this, and I'll be here for you. Now come lay down with me."