I own no one but my own people
Olivia gasped at Rob's words as she took a step back from him, her eyes wide with disbelief. "What… what the hell do you mean I was never born?"
"Exactly that, love. You said 'I wish I was never born', I granted your wish. No one has ever heard of you, seen you, or knows you."
Olivia forced a laugh although she felt her throat tightening in absolute fear. "You're crazy. Okay, you're just some insane homeless man, or you're part of some stupid hidden camera TV show that's trying to trick me. Well I'm not signing any kind of release so you can forget airing this! I'm gonna go home now, and you leave me the hell alone!"
"You ain't got a home, love," Rob said with a hearty laugh. "You don't exist, remember? You was never born."
"Screw you!" Olivia snarled as she made her way to the roof door and slammed it open.
Rob simply chuckled at her ignorance before he looked up at the heavens. "She ain't gonna make this easy is she?"
A tiny star in the skies twinkling was his only reply but he seemed to understand its meaning because he chuckled and nodded. "Thought so…"
Olivia took the steps down to her floor and reached in her pocket for her key, groaning loudly when she realized she didn't have it.
She went to try her other pocket when she realized she didn't have her wallet either.
"Son of a bitch!" Olivia shouted loudly as she turned to go back up the steps to confront Rob who she was sure stole her key and wallet.
She took half a step when Rob suddenly appeared in front of her. "Lookin' for somethin', love?"
Olivia let out a scream and fell backwards, but Rob easily caught her before she hit the floor.
"I don't have your keys or your wallet," he answered before she had even opened her mouth. "You don't have them because you was never born. So you never got your driver's license, you never went to the police academy, you don't work at SVU, you don't gots no money."
"You're a liar!" Olivia screamed as she went to push him but he disappeared again with a tiny twinkling sound only to appear right beside her a half moment later.
"I really wish you would stop trying to 'urt me," he said with a sigh as if he was bored of her attempts. "It ain't nevva gonna work, love."
Olivia narrowed her eyes at him for a moment before she stormed away from him only to have him follow her.
"Stop following me," she grumbled as she descended down the stairs to her floor once more.
"Sorry but it's in me job description," he informed her as he followed just two steps behind her, "askin' didn't work for George Bailey, and it ain't gonna work for you."
Olivia rolled her eyes as she continued to go down the steps that led to her floor, Rob being silent all the way down.
When she finally reached her door she reached into her coat pockets as well as her jeans pocket but she still couldn't find her keys.
"Oh come ON!" Olivia shouted loudly as she began to search her coat pockets again.
"Love, it ain't gonna work. You don't have a home, you were-."
"Never born, I know!" Olivia snapped angrily still looking futilely in her coat. "I'm calling a lock smith, this is ridiculous! Where the hell's my phone?"
Rob chuckled softly and shook his head. "You still ain't getting' it. You do not exist, this flat was recently vacated, you never lived here, and you don't got a mobile."
Olivia turned back towards him and glowered at the taller man. "Leave me alone or I'll arrest you!"
"With wot?" he asked with a laugh. "You're not a cop, you don't have a gun, or your badge or handcuffs, I think we both realized that kicking my arse ain't gonna work… Why not just accept the fact that you don't have a flat or a mobile?"
Olivia snarled lowly at him and turned on her heel once more before stomping away.
"Where are you goin'?" Rob asked as he followed, already knowing the answer, his tone like he was talking about the weather.
"We're gonna walk to my car… oh I'm sorry. I'll walk. You fly."
"I can't fly. I ain't got me wings."
Olivia rolled her eyes to the ceiling. "Some angel," she muttered ignoring the cross look her gave her. "Well we're gonna go to my car, I'm gonna buy you a hot dinner, then take you to a shelter."
"Do you really need to tell me that you don't have your car or do you want to see yourself?"
Olivia stopped mid step for a moment before she walked much faster down the hall and stairs then before, finally reached the parking garage and let out a scream as she saw a rusted old Chevy truck in the spot where her classic convertible usually was parked.
"Someone stole my car!" she screamed as she looked around the garage, her chest heaving franticly.
"You ain't got a car, love," Rob told her once more. "You was never born so you never bought one. I honestly don't know 'ow much simpler I can speak to ya…"
Olivia let out a sob and ran a shaky hand through her hair. "This is insane," she thought franticly; Rob's words finally beginning to sink into her heart.
"Not really. You'd be surprised how often this 'appens," Rob said thoughtfully.
"Stop read-."
Rob spoke before she had even finished the thought. "No can do, love. Again; part of the job description."
Olivia simply stared at him before she began to storm out of the garage. Once again Rob followed right behind her.
"Where are you goin'?" Rob asked as she stuck her hand out to get a cab.
Olivia let out a clearly annoyed breath in hopes that he would get the hint to leave her alone. "I'm getting a cab to the precinct so I can file a report,"
Her hopes went unanswered. "You ain't got no money."
"The precinct is a half hour away driving! I'm not gonna walk for an hour and a half to my precinct!" she shouted angrily. "You're an angel! Can't you fly me there or whatever?"
"First off," he told her as he crossed his arms in front of her. "I'm not an angel. I'm a-."
"Guardian angel in training," Olivia finished with a heavy sigh.
"Yes. And until you have your epiphany, I can't get me wings."
Olivia groaned loudly and ran her hand through her hair. "This is great," she muttered as she kicked a small pile of dirty snow on the ground. "I don't even get a full fledged guardian angel. No wonder I've had so much bad shit happen in my life…"
Rob gave her a slight glower before Olivia spoke again. "Well like you said 'I'm a guardian angel in training, love'," Olivia repeated his words, mocking his accent greatly. "'I can do whatever the bleeding hell I want to'."
"Don't mock the accent, love. And are you saying you believe me now?"
Olivia threw her arms up in frustration. "If you can get me to the precinct on a... a magic carpet or on a shooting star or whatever the hell you do to move around in seconds then I'll believe you."
Rob scoffed and rolled his eyes. "Magic carpets? Shooting stars? Come on, Olivia! Surly you can't be THAT gullible."
Olivia let out a low growl before he took her arm and with a tiny twinkling sound they were gone. She saw black for less than half a second before she suddenly saw the precinct in front of her.
Her mouth fell open and she turned to Rob who smirked down at her; an amused look on his face. "Told ya, love…"
Olivia looked at him for several moments in pure and utter shock before she turned back to the building and shook her head slightly.
"I'm never drinking again…"
She cleared her throat before she made her way inside, Rob following behind as always.
Olivia made her way to the elevator, feeling a bit of fright creep into her heart when no one said a mere hello or gave her a friendly look of acknowledgment.
"They don't know you," Rob informed her yet again as they reached her units floor. "These people never met you because you don't exist."
Olivia didn't even bother with a response.
"They're just busy," she thought to herself forcing herself to believe the words, not caring if Rob could read her mind or not. "They probably got a big break in a case and can't even stop to talk…"
Even in her mind the explanation sounded desperate.
When the elevator opened with a tiny ring she saw Rob sigh heavily. "Well there ya go… Another angel just got 'is wings… the lucky git," he mumbled angrily.
Olivia turned to him in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"Come on, love, do I really need to spell it out for ya? Every time a bell rings, an angel get's his wings. I thought everyone knew that."
"Forgive me for not being up to date on the latest angel promotion system," Olivia grumbled as she and Rob stepped off the elevator and made their way over to her desk.
Once they got closer however, Olivia gasped as she noticed that not a single thing on her desk was her own.
"Where the hell is all my stuff?" she asked slightly louder then she intended.
"What stuff?" Rob asked with a laugh. "I told you before, love. You don't exist. You 'ave no stuff. You never became a cop, you never made detective, and hundreds of cases that YOU broke using YOUR skills are still ice cold and a lot of perps are still out on the streets raping innocent women and children…"
Olivia shook her head as tears filled her eyes. "No…"
She went to turn around and ran smack into Munch.
"Are you alright?" Munch asked sincerely, using a tone he had never used with her before, the tone he only reserved for victims.
Olivia turned towards Rob but with wide eyes saw that he was nowhere to be found.
"Do you need help?" asked Munch.
Olivia shook her head before she turned back to Munch. "No," she answered as she wiped the tears from her eyes. "Munch, who the hell took all of my stuff?" she asked as she motioned to her desk. "If this is some kind of prank, I'm REALLY not in the mood. Not after all that happened tonight…"
Munch raised a brow in confusion. "I'm… I'm real sorry but I have no clue what you're talking about, mam. Are you looking for detective Winters?"
"No, I'm looking for whatever idiot took MY tuff from MY desk! And since when do you call me 'mam'?"
Munch backed up slightly and Olivia saw him put his hand on her gun. "Look, why don't you just calm down, okay? Why don't you take a seat and-."
"Where's Elliot?" she snapped. "Did he go home or is he still here?"
"Elliot who?"
"Stabler!" Olivia shouted making most of the precinct turn to her.
Munch now looked truly confused and he cleared his throat. "Just… hang on a moment, okay?"
Olivia watched as he walked away and walked into Cragen's office, shutting the door behind her.
She ignored the strange looks from everyone around her and the soft mutterings. She took a shaky breath as she saw Cragen grab his gun from his desk drawer and tucked it safely in his coat pocket before he and Munch walked out of the tiny office and walked over to her.
"I'm Captain Don Cragen, how can I help you?" he asked as he approached her.
"I know who you are," she snapped at him. "Tell me where the hell Eliot is now!"
"You mean Elliot Stabler right?"
Olivia glowered at him. "Yes, my partner for the past twelve years, my best friend, and your best detective. That Elliot Stabler."
Cragen cleared his throat before he spoke. "Elliot Stabler died almost four years ago April 4th, 2007."
Olivia felt the room spin and she clutched the desk beside her for support.
She felt her chest constricting and she forced the breaths to go in and out. "Are you okay?" Cragen asked as he walked over to her.
"What… what do you mean… what do you mean he's dead?" Olivia asked ignoring the question. "I… I just talked to him a few hours ago!"
Cragen and Munch looked at one another for a moment before they turned back to Olivia. "Mam, he's been dead since 2007… A rapist named Victor Gitano shot him."
"No! The snipers shot Gitano down! I was there!" she cried desperately.
"Detective Stabler was dead before the snipers got there…"
"No! I saved him! I kept Gitano talking! I… I trained my gun on him and it turned into a hostage situation! Elliot can't be dead!"
Cragen and Munch looked at one another before turning back to Olivia. "Look, mam," Munch said before he slowly walked up to her. "Why don't you just sit down here and I'm gonna get a patrol car to take you home okay?"
"What happened to Kathy? The kids?" she asked, ignoring Munch's look that spoke heavy volumes that he thought she was insane.
"Mam-."
"Tell me!"
Munch sighed before turned to Cragen who gave a curt nod. "After they told her that Elliot was dead Kathy… Kathy killed herself and the kids went to a foster home."
Olivia let out a sob and shook her head. "Oh god no… no, please… they can't be… oh god this is a dream, this isn't real! This is all a dream…"
"Mam," Munch spoke kindly as he went over to her. "I'm sorry that you found out about this way. But maybe... maybe we can take you someplace safe."
Olivia glowered at him and took a step back. "You think I'm crazy don't you?"
"Not at all," Munch lied, "but-."
"I want to talk to Fin," she interrupted. "He won't think I'm crazy."
Munch sighed heavily and shook his head. "I'm sorry. Detective Tutuola has been dead since 2004. Robbery gone wrong…"
"No!" Olivia screamed. "I was there to save him! I stopped the bleeding, I called it in, I-."
"Detective Tutuola went out alone that night!" Munch yelled as he narrowed his eyes at her becoming angry at her for mentioning his dead partner.
"No he didn't!" Olivia screamed as he temper got the best of her and she pushed Munch away from her.
Munch came back and grabbed her by the arms and made a move to twist her around so he could hand cuff her but Olivia pulled out of their grasp and when he grabbed her again, she swung her fist and hit him as hard as she could sending him to the floor.
Before either Cragen or Munch could restrain her again, she ran as fast as she could away from them. She could hear Cragen and Munch yelling in the background for someone to stop her but she ran faster than before and took the two flights of steps down before she raced towards the front door and hurried out of the precinct.
She had to use the old brick wall to support herself and she let out a broken sob. "They're not dead… they can't be dead… They can't be!" she sobbed.
"Strange, innit?" Rob's voice suddenly rang in beside her. Olivia gasped and twisted around to face him as he leaned against the building with his hands shoved deep in his pockets. "Each woman's life touches so many other lives. When she isn't around she leaves an awful hole, don't she?"
"They can't be dead!" Olivia snarled as she ignored his words. "This is all some big... some big nightmare or some horrible drunken experience or maybe it's a dormant side effect from the mushrooms, but Elliot and Fin AREN'T dead! And neither is Kathy!"
Rob pushed off the building and chuckled as he shook his head. "You weren't there to talk Gitano down or made it so that he had something to bargain with. You weren't there to put pressure on Fin's wounds or call in that there was an officer down or that shots were fired at police. Kathy couldn't handle the stress that her soon that her husband died because you weren't there to save Elliot so she took her own life. Do I need to make it anymore clearer, love?"
"This is insane," she muttered, "I'm going insane…"
Olivia closed her eyes and took several deep breaths, none of which did any help to calm herself down. "It's just stress," she said as she looked up at Rob. "It's the stress of the job, and the stress of the whole Calvin situation, and-."
But she stopped mid sentence at the mention of his name. It felt as if a hole had been punched in her chest.
The painful silence didn't go unnoticed by Rob as he took a step towards her and remained quiet until she looked him dead in the eyes, her voice thick with tears. "I want to see Calvin… I need to be sure he's alright."
Rob sighed heavily and nodded as he grasped her arm. "You ain't gonna like this, love…" he muttered just loud enough for her to hear it.
Once again she saw black for the tiniest amount of time before she was in front of Vivian's darkened house.
Olivia didn't waste any time as she went over and knocked on the door, her heart pounding hard against her chest. A cold sweat suddenly broke out all over her as she heard the locks unlock.
When the door opened and Calvin stood there; Olivia couldn't help but let out several tears as he looked up at her.
"Can I help you?" he asked her without a hint of emotion.
Unable to control herself for a moment longer, Olivia let out a joyful sob before she kneeled down and pulled him into a tight hug.
"Oh god, Calvin, I missed you!" she cried as he let out a joyful sob stroking his soft brown hair.
"Get off me!" he yelled as he pushed out of her grasp.
Olivia watched as he looked at her with complete and utter fear.
Olivia felt tears sting her eyes once more. "Calvin, it's me… It's Olivia. You… how can you forget me?"
"Mom!" he yelled as he slowly backed away from her and into the light. Olivia gasped when she saw several hand and fist shaped bruises on his face.
"What the hell did she do to you?" Olivia asked as she got off of her knees. "Calvin, did she hit you?"
"Mom, please!" Calvin cried as he let out a frightened sob still backing away from Olivia, breaking her heart with every step.
A set of footsteps on the stairs made Olivia turn towards them and she narrowed her eyes as Vivian stormed over to them.
"What the hell are you screaming about?" Vivian snapped as she grabbed Calvin by the forearm and yanked him around to face her ignoring Olivia's presence.
Olivia pushed Vivian away from him and went to pull him into her embrace but he clung tightly to Vivian instead. "You EVER!" Olivia snarled almost shaking from rage. "Hurt him again and I swear to god I'll kill you."
Vivian finally took notice of her and glared at her. "Who the hell are you?"
"Don't give me that shit! You know EXACTLY who I am!" Olivia shouted. "You signed over your son to me and then you took him back for payback for shit I didn't even do!"
Vivian looked utterly and completely confused. "Sign my son over... what are you talking about?"
"You gave me legal guardianship over Calvin and then you stole him back from me!"
Vivian scoffed and ran a hand through her matted hair. "You are out of your fucking mind. Get the hell out of my house now!"
Olivia bit her bottom lip and turned to Calvin who clung to Vivian tighter.
"Calvin, PLEASE remember me," she pleaded with the young boy. "You made me a painting of me and y- you signed it Calvin Benson because you said I- I rescued you, I made you lunch every day, I helped you with your homework, you wanted to go to work with me, and you didn't want to go with your mother or the social worker when they came to collect you because you wanted to be my son! Calvin, please remember! I love you!"
She made a move to go towards Calvin but Vivian hit her hard in the face making her stumble back some. Calvin let out a cry of fright and hugged Vivian tightly though it wasn't to keep Vivian from attacking her. It was because he was frightened to the core of Olivia.
"Get out of my house or I'm calling the cops, you sick fuck!" Vivian shouted as she shielded Calvin from Olivia.
"Calvin, please!" Olivia shrieked as she made another move towards him only to be restrained by Vivian once again.
"Get away from me!" Calvin screamed at Olivia as Vivian grabbed her phone out of her pocket and quickly dialed 911 and put the phone to her ear.
Taking one last fleeting look at the boy she loved more than anything Olivia ran out of the house, hearing Vivian's voice ring out. "There was some insane woman at my house telling me that she's my son's mother…"
Blinded by her tears and emotions she ran head first into Rob when she left the steps.
"He doesn't know me!" Olivia sobbed as she clung to his over coat, a desperate attempt to hold herself up from collapsing in the street. "Calvin doesn't know me or love me at all!"
"It's because he never met you before," Rob told her softly. "Vivian never left him in your care and just hit the bottle, pills, and Calvin hard when her mum died. Eventually she's going to beat him so bad that she ends up killing him and he'll still have no idea who you are because you were never born."
Olivia let out a frantic sob at his words. "Take me home," she sobbed. "Rob, please take me home!"
"You don't 'ave a home to go to."
"TAKE ME FUCKING HOME!" she screamed as loud as she possibly could.
Without another word or second he took her back in front of her door.
Olivia grabbed the door handle and turned it several times but found out it was locked.
Putting all of her weight into it, she kicked the door down and looked around the deserted apartment.
"Where's my stuff?" she asked aloud.
"This flat's been vacant for five years," Rob explained. "Only the stuff that came with the flat is 'ere."
Olivia turned her attention to the fridge and gasped softly as she ran up to it.
"No," she breathed when she touched the fridge which had held the painting Calvin had done for her. "Where's Calvin's painting? Where is it?" she asked frantically looking around the tiny kitchen.
"I told ya, love: you never met Calvin, and he never drew that paintin' for ya."
Olivia let out a sob mixed with a scream as she collapsed to the floor. "I can't-, I can't deal with this!"
"You've been given a great gift, Olivia: A chance to see what the world would be like without you," Rob told her before they heard footsteps running into the room followed by a tiny twinkling sound that signified that Rob had left once more.
"Who the hell are you?" the voice snapped angrily.
Olivia looked up and saw the building manager, an older man in his fifties that she had known well for the past twelve years looking at her in both fury and fear.
"Please!" Olivia cried. "Bert, this is my apartment! I've rented the same apartment for the past twelve years! I lost my key!"
"Lady, I ain't seen you in my entire life!" he shouted. "And you broke the door down AND you're trespassing!"
"This is my apartment!" she screamed louder than before; letting out a more desperate sob.
"I'm calling the cops!" he yelled before he stormed off.
"Wait!" Olivia cried as she made a move to follow him but he pulled the door shut.
Olivia tried to wrench it back open but she heard Bert lock it from the outside.
"Let me out!" Olivia screamed as she tugged on the door handle. "Let me out!"
She released her grasp on the door and backed up a step before she kicked it open again.
"Hey!" Bert shouted but Olivia paid no attention to him as she ran away from him down the hall, through the door and up the flights of steps until she reached the roof.
She could hear Bert's footsteps rushing up after her and knowing that locking it would do no good; she fell to her knees and looked up at the heavens as she clasped her hands together
"Rob!" she cried through her desperate sobs as the booming sounds of Bert's footsteps seemed to echo all around her. "Rob! Rob! Help me, Rob! Get me back! Get me back; I don't care what happens to me! Get me back to my partner, and Fin, and Kathy, and my job! Let Calvin live with his grandparents if it means getting him away from Vivian! Help me Rob, please! Please! I wanna live again! I wanna live again! Please, God, let me live again!"
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