It's so funny. I could have sworn the doctor at St Mungo's told me a week ago that I was pregnant. And I've been in denial. But after throwing up every morning since, I think it's time I accept it.

I'm pregnant.

With James Potter's spawn.

Who wants to push me off the cliff?

I mean really – of all the times for me to get knocked up it has to be now? After a drunken one night stand with a guy I can't stand, after I've met a really sweet guy and –

And how in the hell am I supposed to tell Luke this? 'I really like you – in fact, I've been planning our wedding since I met you – but there's something you should know. I am now carrying the demon child of the most arrogant asshole to ever walk the planet. Should we have chicken or fish at the reception?'

Yeah. That'll go over well.

And then there's the matter of telling Potter. How on Earth am I supposed to do that? It's not exactly something you slip into conversation.

Claudia has suggested that I just owl them both and tell Potter – well, she called him James – to come to my flat at one time and Luke to come at another, and tell them both then. And I must say, it's a splendid idea. Well, maybe not splendid – nothing about this situation is splendid – but better than anything I've come up with.

I've been conveniently ignoring the part where I accept that I'm pregnant and am now responsible for someone other than myself. I'm responsible to begin with – I just don't know how to be responsible for anyone else. Now I have to worry about feeding, bathing, changing, protecting and caring for an innocent baby.

How the hell am I going to do this? I'm only one witch!

So I'm going with Claudia's suggestion, only I'm owling them on separate days. Potter should be here in about an hour. Aside from breaking the news, I also need to let him know that if he's interested, I have a doctor's appointment in four days and he is welcome to come – I may regret that later.

Potter decides to show up as I'm in the bathroom vomiting…AGAIN. And standing back up from kneeling by the toilet it no picnic either – now it doesn't matter how fast or slow I stand up, I get dizzier than hell. I swear, just knowing I'm pregnant and expecting all these symptoms is making them more frequent. I bet if I didn't know, I wouldn't be puking and falling over.

I walk into my living room, and Potter is standing there, peering around, obviously looking for me.

"Wow Lily…you look…like hell."

As if I didn't know that. I've been throwing up all day, and I spent part of the morning crying because I put my house shoes on the wrong feet. Damn mood swings. Already starting to mess with me – I'm barely seven weeks pregnant and I'm already flipping out! I have seven and a half more months to go!

"Thanks Potter," I snap while storming into my kitchen to fix me some tea.

"So…" he says casually, leaning against my doorframe casually and smirking. I swear, one of these days his body is just going to turn up on the moon, and I will be living in Jamaica, rubbing suntan lotion on my big belly and sipping a virgin margarita. "Just couldn't stay away, could you?"

"Look Potter," I say, slamming my mug onto the counter, "I did not invite you over here to have sex or something like that." He straightens, and unfolds his arms. I continue before he can interrupt, "If I wanted to sleep with you again, I would have already downed two bottles of Firewhiskey. But since that isn't an option right now, I – oh shit." And I made another dash for the bathroom. Morning sickness? Please – all day sickness is more accurate. And don't even get me started on the nausea.

When I finally make it back to Potter, he's looking a little concerned, which is surprising enough to distract me from my nausea.

"Are you sick? Because if you are, I think I'm going to leave. I don't want to intrude, because I'm sure lover boy is going to be bringing you more chicken soup." His face tightens – maybe Claudia was right about this whole "James Potter is jealous" thing. It could be interesting.

"No I'm not sick. And Luke won't be coming over, so chill the fuck out." He looks slightly taken aback, but now he knows not to mess with the hormonal pregnant woman. Oh wait – he doesn't know I'm pregnant yet.

"If you aren't sick, then why - ?"

I huff and stomp into the living room. This isn't something I will blame on hormones – I can completely blame this on Potter, because he always manages to piss me off, even if I happen to be in the best possible mood.

"Geez, who stuck the stick up your ass, Evans?"

"Nobody!" I shriek. So…maybe I've cracked a little. But a girl can only handle so much. "There isn't a stick up my ass, just a baby in my stomach!"

I should tell Potter I'm pregnant more often just to see his face change colors that fast.

"Wh-what?" He croaks. "Did you just say you're pregnant?" I nod grimly, and watch as he sinks into the nearest chair. He almost misses and lands on the floor, which would have been hilarious, but he makes it okay.

"Yes Potter, congratulations. I'm pregnant."

Potter – or I guess I should start calling him James now – looks up at me, and his eyes narrow suspiciously. I stare back, nonplussed.

"What?"

"Is it mine?" I'm so offended by this I can barely stutter out my answer. For a guy who used to supposedly have feelings for me, he doesn't appear to think very highly of me. In fact, I think he just called me a slut.

"Do you honestly think I would tell you if it was someone else's? Really, Potter, use what brain you have."

His eyes haven't lost their suspicious look as he replies, "Well for all I know, it could be lover boy's and he could be broke and you're just after me for my money. Everyone knows I'm pretty well off."

If I was offended before, I'm just purely pissed off now. I'm pregnant, hormonal, and have been throwing up all morning, and the guy wants to accuse me of going after his money?

So I slap him. Hard. My hand stings afterward.

Potter – after all that, I refuse to call him James – rubs his cheek. And I grab his shirt collar and drag him up to his feet. Needless to say, he's quite surprised. Good. He'll learn to not insult the pregnant lady.

"Listen to me, asshole. If I was going after someone's money, I would pick someone else, someone I actually kind of like. After everything you have put me through for over seven years, do you think I would try to bind myself to you for the rest of my life? Honestly? If it was up to me, this child's father would be someone else. And before you even think it, I am not, in any way, giving up this baby. I will have it and raise it myself and I don't need you for that. But I thought you deserved to know because I'm not the kind of person who would keep a child from its father. And not that it's any of your business, but I haven't slept with anyone other than you in months."

I let him go, and he drops back into his seat. I go throw up again (apparently this is my new reaction to stressful situations), and end up crying on the floor of my bathroom.

"I'm sorry I said that," I hear from the door. "I didn't mean it." And before I really know what's happening, he's sitting next to me on the floor, holding me while I cry.

"Shhh," he whispers, rubbing my back and rocking me back and forth slowly. "I really didn't mean it. You just caught me really off guard. And I don't want you to give up the baby – I would never want that. And I promise I'll try to behave better so that you don't hate me so much and won't be embarrassed to be seen with me."

Okay, even I have to kind of laugh at that. It is rather sweet. James Potter, sweet – who knew?

James helps me stand and we walk back to the living room.

We're sitting on the couch and he's still pretty much comforting me when Luke pops in. Lovely, just lovely.

"Oh…sorry…" he stutters. "I didn't mean to interrupt." Being the graceful person that I am, I jump up…but forget that it makes me insanely dizzy and so end up falling back down into James's lap. He finds this slightly funny and helps me stand back up.

"Are you okay Lily?" Luke asks concernedly. Instantly, James's face darkens. I pull him to the side, ignoring Luke's questioning look.

"I have a doctor's appointment in four days if you would like to be there," I say quietly. Instantly James nods so much he looks like a bobble-head. "Okay, then I will owl you with the time. But I need a minute with Luke, so can you…go?" I try not to sound insanely rude about it, but I can still tell he doesn't like it – but then again, that may be the fact that he doesn't want to leave me with Luke because he knows I have a thing for this guy. But he sees the stubborn look on my face and I guess he remembers the slap from about an hour ago.

"Fine," he says reluctantly. "But I'm coming back tomorrow so we can talk more about this." I sigh and nod, and he surprises me by leaning in and kissing my forehead softly before vanishing with a pop.

"What was that?" Luke asks confusedly. "I thought you didn't like that guy."

I sigh and gesture to the couch and he sits, still looking completely confused.

"Well, my relationship with James has gotten more complicated lately and-"

And Luke leans forward and kisses me. He's a really good kisser, I must say. His lips are soft and he doesn't push anything, trying to shove his tongue down my throat or anything like that. He's really sweet about it and it just makes me like him more.

"Sorry," he murmurs when he pulls away. "I was just wondering what it would be like to kiss you." This guy is so sweet, I tell you, and I love this little moment we're having, our faces close together, our breaths mingling, his hand stroking my hand.

So of course, I have to ruin it.

"I'm pregnant," I blurt out.

Luke pales and jerks back so fast that I can't believe he didn't get whiplash. I seriously cannot believe I let it just fall out of my mouth like that, and Merlin only knows what he's thinking now. We just shared a really nice kiss and I practically shout out my news.

"Umm…I don't really…how are you…huh?"

He's so adorable when he's stuttering and flustered.

"Well…"I say slowly, not exactly sure where to begin, "You remember when we were having coffee and James showed up and told you that we slept together, even though we both were really wasted at the time?" Luke nods slowly. "Well, that would be when it…I mean, apparently we didn't use any protective charms or anything…and so now…yeah, I'm pregnant with James Potter's child."

Luke expels a breath and stands up, pacing back and forth in my living room. That's actually quite a feat because my living room is not that big. He only takes two or three strides before pivoting and walking the other way.

"I just wanted to tell you because I really like you and I don't like keeping secrets. But I can understand if you don't really want to be around me anymore because I know that would be awkward, what with the baby and all."

"Well…" he exhales slowly, and his face has yet to return to its normal color. "I still want to be around you, that's for damn sure. But Potter…he's already fairly territorial enough about you, and with you pregnant…" he sighs. "I need some time to think, alright?"

And he Disapparates without another word.

Peachy, just peachy.

So here's a review, in case you missed anything: I'm pregnant with James Potter's child after a drunken one night stand. The really hot, really sweet guy I like a lot kisses me and then I blurt out that teensy little fact. James and I actually have to get along now, and the aforementioned sweet guy doesn't know if he wants to hang around me because the aforementioned father of the baby has a tendency to be an ass. Wait, can I still say ass? Or think it for that matter? What if the baby feeds off negative thoughts?

I am so not ready for this.

Nor am I ready for the doctor's appointment four days later. I run into Luke in the hall right beforehand and he's all stuttery and awkward, and then of course I have to go get my tummy and everything else examined.

With James there. Although we have already had sex, so no surprises for him. Well, hopefully he doesn't remember anything.

But he is nice for once and actually doesn't look.

Then the mediwitch pulls out this instrument thing, some sort of magical ultrasound device. And then there it is – my kid.

Holy shit, I have a kid!

And it's this little tiny thing, only a few inches long, all gray and squiggly and I fall completely in love with it. I mean, it's my baby. And it's just so amazing.

Even Potter…sorry, James…seems to be affected. His eyes look all watery and he reaches over and grasps my hand, squeezing it tightly.

"Holy crap," he says softly. "That's ours, isn't it?"

"Yeah," I reply, just as quietly, "it is, I guess."

James smiles, and I can already tell he isn't going to be too bad at the whole father/parenting thing. Me on the other hand – well, that's a different story.

Review! I know you're reading it and favoriting and story-alerting, so review please! See you next Saturday with the next chapter!