Enjoy! Tomorrow (or since it's 1am, later today) I plan to upload a Rose/Scorpius one-shot I wrote, and hopefully the next chapter of Of Flowers and Men. See you at the bottom!

Sirius and Claudia owl us back to let us know that they can't make dinner when we had originally planned, but that they can come in the next week or so.

I still haven't told James about Luke, and he hasn't mentioned it either. I haven't said anything yet because I'm still thinking about what I did when I woke up next to James two weeks ago. I ran my hand through his hair.

Why would I do that?

The most obvious reason would be that I wanted to, but why would I want to unless I liked him or something? Which I don't.

I think for now I'll blame the kid – it's messing with my hormones. Yeah, that's it.

I hope.

Not that there's anything bad about James – now – but it would just be way too complicated if we got involved or something. I mean, I'm already having his baby. I think that's as far as our relationship needs to go right now.

Anyway, so neither of us are really looking forward to this dinner with Claudia and Sirius. Yes, we miss our friends, but we are both expecting questions and jokes about our…situation and the thought of it is making us both uncomfortable.

But I try not to think about it. Instead, I think about the food James is going to be cooking – he's making the same chicken he made last time that I enjoyed so much, and some veggies, and then a salad which he has told me he's going to make me eat a little of but thinking about it makes me nauseous. He says it's good for the baby, like all I am is his little baby factory.

Asshole.

I sigh and look down at my stomach. It's still getting bigger – daily, it seems – and so I've had to slightly enlarge my Healer's uniform. It's lame.

And I've had to start looking for maternity clothes. I have shirts and loose pants to last for now, but once I hit six months in a few weeks then I'm going to be stretching all those clothes to the limit.

"Lily?" James knocks on my door and pokes his head inside. I'm trying to take a nap. I'm failing, because I keep thinking about all the things I have to do before the baby gets here. I need a crib and food and clothes and a place to put it. Not to mention how James and I are going to go about –

"Lils?" James is staring at me strangely.

I've been doing that a lot more since I got pregnant, going off into La-La Land and thinking about random things while people wait for me to respond and acknowledge that they're talking to me. I don't do it to be mean, I just can't seem to help myself really. It's like –

"Are you okay?"

Finally, I snap out of it. "I'm fine. Sorry, I kind of zoned out there."

"I noticed," he replies, still looking at me with a small amount of concern. I smile.

"I'm fine James, I swear. What can I help you with?"

"Well," he looks really nervous, and maybe a little scared. Probably because I'm prone to mood swings and when I get mean, I get really mean. "There's two things I needed to let you know. The first is that Claudia and Sirius are coming over tonight instead of in a week," my eyes grow wide and he rushes on, "and the second is that I hammphmsht."

I place my hands on my hips, already not pleased about the change of plans. "You what?"

He sighs and looks at me fearfully. "I have a date in three nights."

My hands slide off my hips in shock. That hypocrite! He gets pissed off because I want to date Luke even though I'm pregnant, but he's going to turn around and go out with some chick? How is that fair? Yeah, he isn't the one actually pregnant, but he is the father and I expect him to be around, not off…gallivanting with some hussy!

I don't even respond, I just stomp past him to the kitchen and pull out my friend the pint of ice cream. Maybe that's why James – ahem – I mean, maybe that's why Potter wants me to eat some salad. I've been munching on ice cream ever since I got pregnant, which can't be healthy. What can I say? The kid's got a sweet tooth. Never mind that it doesn't actually have teeth yet.

"Are you mad?" He asks tentatively.

"Why would I be mad?" I poke my ice cream angrily. "It's not like I'm living with a hypocrite or anything."

"Lily," he begins, but is cut off by a pop, signaling the arrival of our guests for the evening. They both give us hugs and then Ja-Potter leads them over to the couch. Apparently the food is not quite done yet, which is perfect since I need to go change anyway. I know that both Sirius and Claudia have seen me in worse outfits and with no make-up, but since I'm fat I think I should at least make an effort to look kind of nice.

By the time I'm done, dinner is ready and just needs to be served. I'll let James do that. In the meantime, I sit down with Claudia and Sirius at the table. He casually slings his arm over the back of her chair and leans back, eyeing me happily.

"I must say Lily-pad, you look gorgeous pregnant."

I blush and thank him. James – I mean Potter appears with the food looking slightly disgruntled.

"Sure, she believes you," he mutters, "but when I say it, it's a lie." I grimace. This is going to be a lovely dinner already, I can just tell.

Potter – why do I feel bad about calling him by his last name again? He's the hypocritical loser here – cuts up the chicken and serves it to each of us. He also puts a small salad on each plate, ignoring my glare as he hands me mine.

We all dig in, the silence around us surprisingly comfortable. The food is, as expected, delicious, and we all murmur the usual compliments, making the chef smile slightly.

Everyone leans back after a few minutes, stuffed. My plate still has quite a bit of food on it because this whole dinner/James (fine, I'll just go back to using his first name) has a date thing is making me want to hurl. Hopefully if I do, it'll be after dinner.

"So…" Sirius says slowly. He looks between both of us as if he's unsure of what to say and his eyes land on my stomach. "How's everything…going?"

I rub my belly subconsciously. "Pretty well. A lot of my first symptoms are gone, so I'm not throwing up as badly anymore. Now I'm just fat and emotional."

"Lily, you aren't-" James begins.

"Don't start." I cut him off. Claudia looks at me, confused, and I shake my head – I'll tell her later and she knows it.

Sirius, however, is not very good at picking up hints.

"What's going on?"

"I'm tired of Lily saying she's fat. She's not." James snaps, surprising me and making tears come to my eyes. Damn these hormones. Nervously, I begin picking at my salad, putting a small forkful into my mouth. It makes me nauseous.

"Oh," is all Sirius replies, and he looks at me curiously.

"So," Claudia says brightly, "what's new with the two of you? We haven't seen you in forever!"

James just shrugs, but I say abruptly, "James has a date in three nights." I can feel him tense and out of the corner of my eye I see his hands clench on the arms of his chair. Claudia's eyes narrow as she studies me and then looks at James with just a hint of disappointment and anger.

"Congratulations Prongs," Sirius says jovially, oblivious as always. "Who's the lucky lady?"

"Yes," I say flatly, "please tell us about her."

He sighs and shoots Sirius a death glare. Sirius shrugs apologetically and smirks.

"Well…her name is Michelle, and she works in the Auror Department at the Ministry. She's not an Auror though, she is just a receptionist-type person. She's nice."

Sirius's smirk widens. "I've seen her – she's hot!" Claudia nudges him, but he ignores it and continues, "Plus, I've heard that she has quite the thing for you mate, so maybe you'll get to…" he trails off, winking suggestively. "But," he continues, turning to face me, "I don't see why this has got your knickers in a twist Lily-pad."

"Because he got pissed when I wanted to go out with Luke, and yet he gets to go out on dates apparently."

"It's not like you listened," he mutters, though Sirius and Claudia can still hear him. "You're going out with him anyway, aren't you?"

"No, I'm not," I say quietly, not meeting anyone's eyes. Everyone is silent for a minute and I can tell James is shocked.

"Excuse me," I say, standing quickly as the salad threatens to make a reappearance. I run to the bathroom, glad that I decided to wear my hair up tonight.

As I'm throwing up the little amount of food I ate, I become aware of a hand rubbing my back soothingly. Looking to the side, I see that fortunately it isn't James. I'm really not in the mood to deal with him right now. It's Claudia, and she's smiling at me gently.

"Come on," she says softly and takes my hand, leading me to my room. She closes the door and sits me on the bed, then pulls the chair from next to my desk and sits across from me, studying me intently.

"So it's over between you and Luke?" she asks gently. I nod, still feeling slightly queasy and I massage my belly lightly, hoping it will get the baby to calm down for a moment. "Are you really mad at James because he's being a hypocrite, or are you jealous that he is going out with someone else?"

I sit silently and ponder this. Why am I so upset with James for having a date?

"I guess," I say slowly after a pause, "it's both. I don't think it's fair that since I'm the one that's actually pregnant, I have to be the one single. And it scares me that he might meet someone else, and my baby is going to be raised by parents who don't live together, and it will have a stepmom. I already am going to have to explain to it that it was conceived when James and I weren't even dating, let alone married or anything."

"Frankly," Claudia interrupts quietly, "I'm surprised that James hasn't suggested the two of you getting married or something. He's usually one to do the noble thing."

I don't tell her, but I've wondered the same thing several times. He hasn't even hinted at it, other than moving in with me.

I continue. "And I have no idea how I feel about James anymore." I look down at my hands and realize I've been wringing them in my lap. "A few weeks ago we fell asleep together on the couch, and when we woke up I felt…content. I ran my fingers through his hair-" Claudia smiles at this "-and it's not like I'm blind. He's gorgeous, he's funny and smart and sweet and he's giving up a lot just to move in with me and take care of me while I'm pregnant and then the baby after it's born…" I trail off.

After a minute, Claudia comes and sits next to me on the bed. "I think," she says in the tone she uses when she knows I'm not going to like what she says, "that you may need to accept the fact that you might have feelings for him, and that you might want something more than whatever this relationship between the two of you is."

I open my mouth to reply, but there's a knock at the door and Claudia softly says, "Come in."

It's James. Of course it's James. It's always James, and he likes to appear at the most inopportune moments. With my luck, he's been listening outside the door and now knows about my inner turmoil concerning him. Wouldn't that be embarrassing.

"Can I talk to Lily for a moment?" James asks softly.

Everyone is speaking quietly now, I'm noticing, myself included. It's like we're in a library or something.

Claudia nods and leaves without another word. James sits himself in her spot on my bed.

"Why didn't you tell me about Luke?" he asks quietly.

"Because I didn't know I how to bring it up," I respond just as quietly, "and I didn't want to see you gloating."

He sighs. "I wouldn't have gloated."

I snort and he chuckles and instantly the air seems less thick.

"He was a chicken," I admit. "He didn't want to get in the middle of this," I gesture between us and at my stomach, "even though he supposedly really liked me. And I really liked him too, but I like guys that aren't afraid of a sticky situation, you know?" James nods.

"Do you have a huge problem with me going out with Michelle?" he asks abruptly.

This time I sigh. "Not exactly. I just didn't like the fact that you could go out but I couldn't because I'm the one who's actually pregnant. It just really didn't seem fair."

"Well," he says, and nudges me with his shoulder. I can hear him smiling. "If it makes you feel any better, this will probably be the only date. She asked me – I wouldn't have asked her. I'm not really interested in dating right now."

A massive wave – actually it's more like an ocean – of relief rushes over me. I'm so focused on that that I almost don't feel it.

Then it happens again and I gasp and grab James's hand. He's startled and starts to ask me what's wrong, but I shush him and place his hand gently on my stomach.

We wait for a moment and then it happens again and he gasps as well.

The baby's kicking.

I can feel it. It's in there, just kicking the shit out of my internal organs, and it's so amazing. It just drives it home again that I'm going to be a mother in a few short months.

Looking at James, I can see that he's just as overwhelmed as I am. In fact, I think he's trying not to cry.

"Oh my God," he whispers, and he looks at me and we're just having this moment.

And you know me and moments, we don't get along very well. So I have to do something to…mess it up, I guess?

I kiss him.

Don't judge me.

I'm hormonal and I have no idea what is going on between me and James and then the baby is kicking and it's just all too much and so I kiss him.

He's a good kisser. Very good. This sort of gets through to me around the same time I realize he's kissing me back.

And remember how I complained that there were no sparks with Luke when we kissed? Well believe me, there are so many sparks here that I could open up a freaking fireworks stand.

It's probably the most amazing kiss I've ever had and I can't help but also think that if kissing him is this amazing, then what was the sex between us like? I can't even imagine. Well, I can. And believe me, I will be now.

Finally, that pesky oxygen interrupts and we break apart. He's just staring at me and my face is really red. I cannot believe I just did that. Way to go on the whole not making the situation more complicated thing.

He opens his mouth to say something, but is thankfully interrupted by the sound of slightly raised voices in the living room. Man, I love Claudia sometimes.

Without looking at him, I stand up and walk away. Probably not the best thing I could have done, but what else was there to do? Trust me, there will be plenty of time for us to have that awkward "what did that kiss mean and what does it mean for us yadda yadda yadda" discussion. Hopefully after his date.

Claudia and Sirius are arguing about something – only Merlin knows what, because I certainly wasn't paying attention – and finally they calm down enough for Sirius to Disapparate. I give Claudia a look that says don't leave me here alone right now please, and she obliges.

She helps me avoid James for three days. She's a genius, that girl.

And so now I am pacing back and forth, rubbing my stomach like some kind of Buddha, waiting for James to get back from his date. Not only am I sure this whole silent-treatment-avoidance-thing is driving him crazy, it's starting to drive me nuts as well. I want to know what he thought about it and how he feel about me and all that stupid girly crap that I try not to think about. Except that now it's eating me alive, so I can't not think about it.

I'm peeking out the window for the millionth time when finally I see them walking back up towards the front of the building. For the first time, I'm grateful my flat is on the second floor so that I can see them fairly clearly.

She's laughing at something he said, the little tramp. I wonder if he's told her that he lives with the girl he got pregnant one drunken night. If he hasn't I'll make sure to let her know.

Wow, my hormones are making me crazy. I'm actually visualizing ways to kill this woman. Beheading does have its advantages, you know.

I'm still peeking out the drapes – covertly of course, I don't want James to think I'm some kind of crazy obsessed pregnant woman because, let's face it, that's totally not true.

So I'm peeking. They're just standing there talking about something, and James is smiling like he's actually having fun.

What happened to him not wanting to go out with this chick? Huh?

And she's laughing again. Yes, we get it, James is funny, but stop already. You look like a maniac. I bet her laugh is one of those ones that sounds like a donkey or something. I hope it is. James wouldn't want to marry someone with a donkey-laugh. Their kids would sound like donkeys too.

Holy. Shit. I sink onto the couch.

I am totally out of control. Not to mention jealous.

No, wait, scratch that last part. I'm not jealous, no way. If I was jealous that would mean that Claudia was right and I had some kind of feelings for James. Which I don't. There's no way.

Bloody. Hell.

I fancy James Potter. Although, that makes it sound like we're still at Hogwarts and I'm going to be doodling his name on my parchment with hearts and writing Mrs James Potter…Mrs Lily Potter. That has a pretty nice ring to it, don't you think?

No, no, no! I cannot be doing this! Or feeling like this! This is completely unacceptable! I'm not supposed to have any feelings for James Potter, I just have to have his kid in a few months and raise it with him. That's all! Nothing else! Zip, zilch, zero, nada! No!

I blame Claudia. Claudia, Firewhiskey, and the James Potter spawn residing in my stomach at the moment. I blame them all for this.

Resignedly, I walk back over to the window, hoping that maybe James will be back on his way back upstairs so I can talk to him and figure out what the hell is going on. I pull aside the curtains an inch, just in time to see James dip his head and kiss her.

That's funny. It kind of feels like my heart just broke a little.

*gets on knees and begs for mercy* Please don't hate me! Or hate me, just tell me in a review!

And I have a question...when I get to the epilogue (which is still about five chapters away), do you want it to stay in Lily's POV or do you want it to be in James's? Let me know! Review!