Sorry I'm a day late! I was thisclose to updating yesterday and I had busted my butt to get it finished in time, and then my plans got crazy and I ended up not coming back home and getting on my computer. Again, sorry! I'll try not to let it happen again! Enjoy!
When James walks back inside, I'm just kind of sitting on the couch. Not exactly waiting for him, but at the same time, I don't know what to do with myself. I don't want to go in my room, because now it just makes me remember kissing him in there, and so I'm on the couch.
And he practically floats through the door! What, when I left the window did she go down on him too? Wouldn't put it past her. I mean really, what kind of woman gets in between a man and the woman carrying his child? I know we aren't dating, but still…
That's just a technicality.
And one that we probably would be overcoming right now except some skank had to get her grubby little paws in the middle.
"Lily? Are you okay?" James frowns.
"How was your date?" I ask flatly. Instantly he smiles again – that is just so not fair that this Michelle chick can waltz in and make him all happy. That would be my job.
"It was better than I thought. She's really smart and really funny. I don't know why she is only a receptionist for the Auror Department, she easily could be a Healer or something. Anyway…"
And he just keeps talking about his date. Did he honestly think I want to hear about it? No, I was asking because that's what good friends/roommates/baby mamas do.
I stand up and leave (which is getting harder every day) in the middle of his sentence and just go back to my room, despite the instant flashbacks it triggers.
After that, James seems to realize that I don't want to hear about Michelle or anything related to her.
Not that that stops him from going out with her again – twice – over the next three weeks. I just keep waiting for her to turn up pregnant as well. If she does, then they can both kiss my ass because she isn't moving in here and I was pregnant first, so my kid takes priority.
And I no longer have a job to keep my mind off everything. They want me to take my maternity leave earlier and longer – it's almost like they don't want me around, but my boss assured me that wasn't true. He said it was just because there has been a relative decline in patients lately, even with the growing war, and so I should take advantage of it and relax.
As if.
Whenever Claudia isn't working she comes over and keeps me company, talking about anything she can to keep my mind off James. Lately, our conversation has turned more and more towards the baby.
"How come you don't know what it is yet?" she asks me incredulously. "I couldn't not want to know."
I shrug and rub my belly softly, smiling when I feel it move slightly. It's an active little baby, which makes me think forward to when it will be running around the flat, chasing things and being a crazy little one like me and like James.
"Please," she pleads, "let me do the charm and see what you're having!"
I shake my head with a smile. "No. James and I decided we don't want to know until it's born. He wants to have a little girl because he wants her to look just like me and have my charming disposition-" Claudia snorts "-and I think I want it to be a girl too, simply because I don't know that I want to have a mini-James running around. While it would be adorable, I don't want my child to have his ego." Claudia laughs at this. "But," I add, "we just want it to be healthy. That's really the most important thing – that it's healthy and happy and we do the best we can raising it."
"How about you cover your eyes and let me do the charm so that you don't see? Please," she begs, "I really want to know!"
Sighing, I look down at my swollen stomach and smile, then tilt my head back and close my eyes. "Go ahead," I say with a small laugh.
I hear her murmur the spell and feel my stomach tingle lightly.
"Okay," she says after a moment and I open my eyes to see her smiling. I'm glad someone knows, because while I don't want to know, this way if someone else asks, Claudia can tell them.
A knock sounds at the door to my flat. Claudia and I look at each other, puzzled. Everyone we know doesn't knock, they just pop in. Ever since James moved in, the other Marauders Apparate in at nearly all hours. Sirius decided to show up at the three in the morning once and…well, let's just say it wasn't very pretty. He may never have children. What a shame that would be.
Claudia takes pity on me and answers the door herself. I can hear her gasp but my head doesn't quite turn around far enough to see who it is until Claudia leads him into the living room.
It's Luke.
Man, I wish James was here right now. Not to keep Luke away from me, but just to see that Luke came to visit me. Maybe if I keep him here long enough…
"Hi," he says uncomfortably, and Claudia leads him over to the couch. He sits instead on the edge of the fireplace and Claudia takes her spot back by me.
"So…what's up?" I ask, trying to meet his gaze.
"Oh, nothing," he says, appearing very interested in the vase of flowers on the windowsill. "I just noticed you haven't been at work for the last week or so and I wanted to make sure you're okay." He looks over his shoulder and scans the flat.
"James isn't here," I say with a smile and Claudia snorts. "So you can relax." And he does, visibly, even smiling at the two of us.
"So how come you haven't been at work?"
"They sent me on maternity leave early," I say and rub my tummy. I feel like Buddha. Luke's eyes move to my stomach as well and he smiles slightly.
"What is it?"
"She doesn't know. I do, but she and James decided to wait until the baby is actually born." Claudia interjects, throwing me a look.
"Would you mind if I knew?" Luke asks curiously. I shake my head and Claudia stands and walks over to him, bending over to whisper in his ear. He smiles at whatever he hears.
Surprisingly, I have really no curiosity over what the sex of the baby is. Like I told Claudia, I just want it to be healthy and to inherit the best of James and me.
The front door opens and I close my eyes, waiting for the awkwardness to begin. I can feel the tension in the room amp up a notch even though no-one has said anything yet. I open my eyes and crane my neck around to look at James and he is predictably pissed, which in turn pisses me off. How does he think I would have felt to come home from work one day and find him with Michelle?
"Maybe you guys should just go," I say quietly, looking from Luke to Claudia and back again. They both nod and stand. Luke walks over to me and takes my hands, tugging me up to my feet. I smile and I can practically feel James's fists clench behind me. Man, is it gonna be fun when it's just the two of us tonight.
Claudia hugs me and Disapparates with a pop and Luke does the same. The man has grown some balls lately, it seems, because he used to be terrified to even look at me when James was in the room. Then he's gone as well and James disappears into the kitchen. I'm pretty sure he's pouring himself a shot of Firewhiskey. I really envy him right now.
"I thought you said you weren't seeing him anymore." He says in a low voice. I sigh.
"I'm not. He stopped by to check on me."
"Funny how he always seems to be doing that," he mutters. I close my eyes and take a few deep breaths, trying not to blow up at him. My Healer said that for these last three to three and a half months I need to avoid stress and stay as calm and relaxed as possible.
She's never lived with James Potter.
"He's my friend, and he was just concerned because I started my maternity leave earlier than planned. He's my friend," I repeat and James snorts.
"A friend you used to snog."
My hands shoot to my hips. "Kind of like Michelle is your friend then, except that you're still snogging her. What the fuck is your problem James, that I can't hang out with another guy while you can go around dating some chick from your office?"
"That's different," he mutters, not quite meeting my gaze.
Breathe, Lily, breathe. Remember, murdering the father of your child is wrong.
I close my eyes and turn around, massaging my temples. Silently I chant to myself I must not kill Potter, I must not kill Potter, I must not kill Potter…
My stomach cramps slightly, but I ignore it as I turn back to face him. It's cramped before and the Healer said it was nothing, just a part of pregnancy.
"Actually," I say in a surprisingly calm voice, "it's the same. Why would it be different? Because I'm pregnant and you aren't? Because I'm the weak, defenseless woman and you're an Auror? Because you used to want to go out with me and you're still jealous?"
James shifts uncomfortably. My mouth drops open slightly.
"That's it, isn't it? You are still as jealous of guys I date as you used to be at Hogwarts, but you still feel free to go snog or shag whoever the hell you please."
"It's not that simple Lily," he replies with a hint of warning in his voice. I ignore that and continue, my voice steadily rising.
"That is such bullshit James! You don't want me to date Luke because you haven't gotten over your need to be the main guy in my life, never mind the fact that you've pretty much achieved that since I'm pregnant with your baby. But Merlin forbid I actually like someone else, or have a conversation with another guy, have anything to do with a guy that isn't you or the Marauders. God, I can't even look at you right now!" I spin around to face the wall and begin massaging my temples again. My stomach cramps a little stronger, making me wince. The baby kicks as well.
"Lily," he says hesitantly, and pauses like he doesn't know what to say. I keep focusing on my breathing and don't look at him.
"I'm sorry."
I spin around to face him and open my mouth to ask him to repeat that when my stomach cramps again and I realize that maybe it isn't cramps. It almost feels like…contractions.
James's eyes get wide and I realize that I'm sure I look like something's wrong. Which it might be – I'm only six, nearly seven months, pregnant and so I can't be having contractions.
Another one comes and it's starting to scare me. Not only am I not far enough along to go into labor safely, these hurt. I don't want anymore, I want more time to prepare myself!
"Lily?" I realize James is standing next to me, one hand on my shoulder and the other on my stomach. "Is something wrong? What's happening? Is it the baby? Is it okay? Should we go to St Mungo's?" His voice is becoming more and more frantic, which in turn is not making me calm down – it's freaking me out.
"Let's go to Mungo's," I manage to say, focusing more on my stomach and trying to tell if anything is seriously wrong. "Just in case."
James nods, and I look up to see that he's very pale. His concern is so sweet, because I know it's for me as much as for the baby.
And in a purely selfish way, I'm glad that this is making him focus on me and not think about Michelle.
James casts a silent Enlarging Charm on my fireplace so that we both fit through and squeezes in next to me. With his arms wrapped as tightly around me as they can be, he yells "St Mungo's" and off we go. I close my eyes because otherwise I would vomit as soon as we arrived. One problem at a time, thank you.
I get taken to a room where there are about seven Healers all running around, doing measurements, pointing their wands at me, hooking up to magical machinery. James has to wait out in the hall and I know he's going nuts.
After what feels like an eternity, one Healer actually comes forward with a smile and looks down at her clipboard.
"Well Ms Evans, it seems that-" she begins in a cheery voice before I cut her off.
"Before you tell me anything, can you get the father out of the hall and bring him in here? He's got glasses, messy black hair, a frantic expression, and is probably pacing a hole in your floor."
She smiles and nods before leaving to get James. I sigh and sink against the pillows, praying that whatever she was about to tell me is good news. She was smiling, so it had to be, right? But then again, I know I try to smile at patients when delivering news that they may not want to hear. I offer up a silent prayer – if the baby is okay and there are no complications, then I won't say a single word against James dating Michelle. I'll think about it a lot, but I won't actually say anything to him.
James follows the Healer back in and sits next to me on the bed, grasping my hand tightly. After I'm done here I'll get the Healer to make sure my hand is not broken.
"The baby is fine," she says, and instantly James and I relax. He leans over to give me a spontaneous kiss on the forehead. "You were having what the Muggles call Braxton Hicks contractions. It's pretty much false labor, like your body is practicing for when you actually give birth. It's simply uncomfortable, and so there is no harm to you or the baby. Your son is perfectly healthy."
James and I smile, and then freeze as what she said sinks in.
A son. We're having a boy. I'm having a son, a baby boy, with James. The nursery and all the clothes are going to be blue. That's actually kind of a relief because I hate pink.
James and I stare at each other, and slowly our faces break into identical smiles. The Healer has left, but neither of us cares. All of the Healers have left, actually. It's just us.
"We're gonna have a boy," James whispers, and he leans forward to envelop me in a hug. My head rests in the crook of his neck, and I inhale his scent (he smells pretty good) as I think about this. A little mini-James, which is sounding better and better by the moment.
James pulls back and smiles. It's a moment.
I kiss him again.
And it's just as spectacular as our other kiss, there are just as many fireworks. It's a slow, almost sensual kiss, and it's making me tingle all the way down to my toes. Judging by the way he kisses me back, I'm going to take a guess and say that he likes me just as much as I like him.
The baby kicks, and since he is pressed slightly against my stomach, he feels it and pulls back.
We just kind of stare at each other for a few moments. I don't know about him, but I have butterflies dancing around in my stomach and for once they aren't related to my morning sickness. Judging by the look in his eyes, I would say that he's pretty happy about what just happened, which makes me hope. If there's a chance that he has feelings for me like I do for him, then I would be willing to try something. I guess whatever happens between me and James I owe to our son.
Thinking of the baby as my son, my little baby boy, makes me happier than anything in the world. I smile.
"Why do you keep doing that Lily?" he asks softly, drawing me out of my thoughts while brushing a piece of hair out of my face. "That's twice in a month and a half that you've kissed me. Why?"
I gulp. Guess it's confession time.
So? Whatcha think? Reviews, yes? And I promise next week I will update on time! :)