-At the bar-
Jake: -turns out to be a great guy to talk to, who knows a lot about shooting films and cameras-
-some of Mark's friends walk in-
Mark: -doesn't notice and talks passionately about his work-
Bobby: hi Mark!
Mark: -waves distractedly-
Larry: -comes to the table- what's up?? -starts chatting about the weather-
Jake: cough cough
Mark: oh sorry- Larry this is Jake. Jake- Larry.
Jake: no it's not that, it's just umm, we're kind of in the middle of something.
Bobby: what sort of something?
Mark: we're just talking.
Jake: -bluntly- a date!
Larry: OO
Mark: NO WE'RE NOT!
Jake: oh yeah, sorry. I forgot. -in half-whisper- he doesn't really want people to know about this.
Mark: there's nothing to know! This is NOT a date! We're just friends!!!
Larry: Sorry about that, Happy Birthday Mark! Umm, we're gonna leave, like, now. Have fun, you two. -drags Bobby away- hope you score, Mark.
Mark: -yells after them- COME BACK HERE! It's NOT a date!! I'm NOT GAY!!!
Jake: -smiles stupidly-
Mark: WHAT are you smiling at?!
Jake: you're so cute when you're in denial.
Mark: -stares and blushes- I AM NOT in DENIAL!
Jake: -pinches his cheek- so cute! buys him a rose
Mark: SHOVE THE FUCKING ROSE UP YOUR ASS! I'M OUTTA HERE! -storms out-
Jake: -follows- you prefer pink roses?
Mark: leave me alone! –begs-
Jake: I guess you're tired. Oh well, see you soon. I'll call you. I had a great time tonight, Mark.
Mark: don't bother. Really.
Jake: that's okay, I want to. So, see you soon, huh? Maybe next time we can go out to a play or something, I know a great one.
Mark: no next time!
Jake: -hardly listening, looks very interested in Mark's lips all of a sudden-
Mark: …what? -suspiciously-
Jake: -kisses him-
Mark: -pushes him away and runs home horrified-
Roger and Collins: -sitting on the couch as Mark enters- well??????? How did it go?!?!
Mark: I'M GOING TO KILL YOU!!!! -jumps at Roger and starts hitting him-
Roger: -pushes him off easily- did he refuse to make it "official" between you two?
Mark: he KISSED me on the LIPS you asshole!
Roger and Collins: -stare at each other and burst out laughing-
Mark: it's not funny!!!!!
Roger and Collins: Oh yes it is!!!!! -slam their heads on each other's shoulders-
Mark: I LOATHE YOU!
Roger: Oh by the way, I re-plugged the phone. Why did you unplug it?
Mark: he has the number!!!!
Roger: good thing I re-plugged it then!
Mark: UNPLUG IT THIS INSTANCE!!!!
Roger: -protects it with his body-
Collins: -still laughing his head off-
Mark: I'm not interested! Roger I'm serious!!!
Collins: you can't unplug the phone man, how will I call you so you throw down the keys?
Mark: I'll make you an extra key!!
Collins: -ignores him- Maureen dropped in again, was really happy to find out you were out this late! Said now she wasn't feeling that guilty!
Mark: we went out as FRIENDS!
Collins: and I suppose that kiss meant nothing.
Mark: he kissed me and I ran away!
Roger: typical I'm-scared-of-commitment response.
Mark: I'm not scared of commitment I was with Maureen for 18 fucking months without cheating or anything! It's typical I'm-not-gay-and-a-guy-is-kissing-me response!
Roger: you know Maureen kissed you first too, you know.
Mark: yeah but I didn't run away then!
Roger: I hear he's really cute!
Mark: that's beside the point!
Roger: so he IS cute!
Mark: he's also a HE!
Roger: and a cute HE!
Mark: but still a HE!
Roger: next time you sure will score, he seems to like you!
Mark: I don't want to score with him!
Roger: so there WILL be a next time! I knew it!!!
Mark: NO!
Roger and Collins: -burst out laughing again-
Mark: WHAT?!
-phone rings-
Roger: -picks up- Hello? Oh, hi Jake!
Mark: -horrified-
Roger: -hands him the phone-
Mark: amm…hi Jake…
Jake: Hi! Just called to say good night. Sweet dreams. I sure will be dreaming of you tonight...
Mark: …please don't.
Jake: so good night then! -hangs up-
Roger and Collins: WELL???? -big grins-
Mark: -in a miserable voice- he'll be having dreams about me tonight.
Collins: -giggles-
Mark: it's not funny! How do I get him off my back?
Roger: I know how you can get him ON your back, if you know what I mean...
Mark: he doesn't need help with that. I want him to back off!
Collins: -not listening- well I'm off. Good night Roger. Sweet dreams Mark…-winks annoyingly-
Mark: -throws a shoe at him-
Roger: well. Good night, Mark! -goes to his room-
Mark: …I'm cursed. -mutters and goes to his room- This is the worst birthday…EVER.