Mark: - lies awake in bed- I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm not gay I'm not gay…
Roger: -from the other side of the wall- keep telling yourself that. That'll help EVERYONE.
Mark: shut up you asshole, I'm not talking to you!
Roger: just because I called Collins and pretended to be talking to Maureen?
Mark: this is all your fault!
Roger: how is it MY fault?
Mark: you tricked me into calling Maureen!
Roger: you didn't have to tell her you wanted to date Joanne's brother!
Mark: I told her I DON'T want to date him!
Roger: then why did she send him over?
Mark: because she's Maureen! She NEVER listens!
Roger: how is it MY fault that she doesn't listen?!
Mark: you made me talk to her!
Roger: you could have simply pressed 'redial' and then you would have reached Collins, that's what I figured you would do.
Mark: you said you called Maureen!
Roger: yeah well, I could have hardly said I was calling Collins could I?
Mark: yeah, 'cause that would be the NICE thing to do!
Roger: but that was the whole point of the joke!
Mark: I'M NOT LAUGHING!
Roger: well I am -laughs his head off-
Mark: and to think I ever called you my best friend!
Roger: -laughs his head off-
Mark: I am looking for a new apartment tomorrow.
Roger: -laughs his head off-
Mark: I'm serious! I'm moving and I'll never come back!
Roger: -laughs his head off-
Mark: fine. We'll see who's laughing tomorrow!
Roger: -still laughing-
Mark: -grunts, looks at the window and screams bloody murder-
Roger: WHAT? WHAT?!!
Mark: what the HELL are you doing here?!
Jake: I couldn't sleep. -sweetly- I was thinking of you.
Mark: I told you not to do that!
Jake: I can't help it. I mean, it's not my fault you have these eyes and you talk so passionately about films and you have the sweetest little –
Mark: that's enough! –disturbed-
Jake: can I come in?
Mark: do you REALLY have to?
Jake: you want me to spend the whole night without seeing you even once?... -in small voice-
Mark: you spent your whole life without seeing me even once and you were just fine.
Jake: but I can't do that anymore, not now that I know you. Come on, Mark, you can't tell me you don't feel that too! Can I come in?
Mark: …are you planning on spending the night here?
Jake: I can sleep on the couch if you want me to.
Mark: …you can sleep with Roger. Okay. Come in. -sighs-
Roger: No he can't. -locks bedroom door-
Mark: -gives Jake the key- you don't have a say in this asshole.
Jake: that's okay, I guess I'll just sleep on the couch. Good night Mark. -gives him a look that suggests he would like to kiss him again-
Mark: …good night Jake. -gives him a blanket-
Jake: -looks at him-
Mark: …what? Oh right -gives him a pillow-
Jake: -inches closer-
Mark: the couch is that way- -points-
Jake: oh I know – I just –
Mark: you just what?
Jake: -kisses him-
Mark: -pushes away- stop doing that!
Jake: sorry, couldn't help myself. I know this is too fast. -blushes and goes to bed-
Mark: …-locks his bedroom door-
Jake: -sighs loudly-
Mark: …-sighs- damn.
Roger: -laughs out loud-
Mark: shut up or I'll break the wall and kill you!
Roger: -laughs into his pillow-
Mark: bastard.
Jake: -sighs again-
Mark: …-tries to ignore-
-an hour later-
Jake: -sighs yet again-
Mark: …what is it Jake?
Jake: oh... you heard me?
Mark: the whole building heard you.
Jake: sorry. I was just thinking of you.
Mark: try counting sheep.
Jake: -sighs even louder-
Mark: …do you want some warm milk?
Jake: if you make it for me...
Mark: …fine, if you don't mind it expired 2 days ago.
Jake: never mind, I'll try to keep quiet.
Mark: suit yourself. Good night.
Jake: Sorry I woke you up.
Mark: …it's ok.
Jake: -sighs quietly-
Mark: …ok how can I get you to sleep?
Jake: you can't... not really…
Mark: what does that even mean?
Jake: well – when I fall in love I usually can't sleep until I –
Mark: how can you be in love with me- you know me less than 24 hours, and in the hours we know I yelled at you all the time. What the hell is wrong with you?!
Jake: -dreamily- yeah...
Mark: …so what does that mean, you'll get off if I'll be nice?
Jake: I'll try not to wake you up.
Mark: you really should get over me.
Jake: no can do.
Mark: it's not that hard! Really just ask Maureen!
Jake: maybe she could, I can't.
Mark: you don't even know me.
Jake: you don't have to know someone to be in love with them…
Mark: yes you do! How can you really be in love with someone you don't know? It's just a crush and you can get over a crush.
Jake: will you kiss me?
Mark: …what?
Jake: will you… kiss me?
Mark: …huh?
Jake: please? Maybe that'll calm me down so I can sleep.
Mark: …would you leave me alone if I kiss you?
Jake: I think so! –happily-
Mark: …oh fine whatever. It's just a kiss. -unlocks the door and comes out-
Jake: -big stupid grin-
Mark: …
Jake: -grin grows bigger-
Mark: …you're creeping me out.
Jake: oh. Sorry. -stops smiling-
Mark: …thanks. How do I do this?
Jake: you. Just. Kiss.
Mark: right…-nervously moves closer-
Jake: -looks expectantly at him-
Mark: …right. Here goes. -kisses him and quickly backs away-
Jake: …you call that a kiss?
Mark: with a guy- yeah.
Jake: oh. –sadly- well. I guess I'll try to sleep then. -looking utterly depressed-
Mark: …what if I…hug you instead?
Jake: I guess. -unenthusiastically-
Mark: look. I had a bad day. I just got dumped. So that sad face won't work, okay?
Jake: okay. -sad puppy eyes-
Mark: it's hug or nothing, take it or leave it.
Jake: -throws himself on him-
Mark: -hugs him awkwardly- okay feel better?
Jake: -pressed against him- yeah! -happily-
Mark: think you can sleep now?
Jake: I'll try! Goodnight! -kisses him on the cheek-
Mark: …okay. Good night. -goes back to his room and locks the door-
Jake: -lies back on the couch and sighs happily-
Mark: …