BILLY
"Mom, you promised to be there! Mom, you lied! Mom don't leave me, I need you, mom! Mom, come back! Mom!" He screamed as Joe held him back. Spencer fought to get to his mom but when he did get free she was already under ground. He stopped and turned to glare at me again.
SPENCER
"It's all your fault. You could have gone after her, she would have come back to you. She could be still alive if she never had lived in California. She could be here in Boston alive not dead and six feet under. It's all your fucking fault, Billy Darley!" I yelled at him.
Flashback 8 years ago
"You're father is a very strong independent man that does what he wants. You're like him in that you never obey the rules or what you're told." My mom told me. I smiled at her.
"What does he look like?" I asked my mom.
"Just like you but with bluish green eyes." My mom told me. I smiled.
"I look like my daddy." I said proudly even though I never met the man.
"Yeah you do and he would be so proud." She added.
"Tell me more about him." I demanded.
"He has a temper and he likes to break rules. He loves his little brother. You would like him, Spencer." She told me before kissing my forehead.
"Now go to sleep baby." I nodded and fell asleep.
End of Flashback
I began crying but I grew angry with him.
"Why weren't you there? Huh? What's your excuse? Tell me!" I yelled through my tears.
"She left me, I didn't think I was wanted." He answered.
"Bullshit! Are you fucking high?" I accused him. He stepped closer and I could smell the faint smell of marijuana on him mixed with alcohol.
"No." He answered.
"You smoke marijuana earlier and drink a couple beers, Darley?" I asked him. He ignored my remark and sped off in his car. Joe came up to me after Billy left.
"Let's go eat man." Joe told me. Joe, Bodie, Spinks, and I left to go to a place to pig out.
BILLY
I got back to the apartment I shared with Joe and crashed down on the couch and then I got up to get high. I grabbed the bag of coke near my bed in my room and I went back to the kitchen to do some lines. I took out a beer or two while I was using coke.
SPENCER
We went back to the apartment an hour later after a nice lunch with the guys. Everyone else went back their place and Joe took them home before we went back to his apartment.
I took off my tie as soon as I got in the living room and I heard some music playing from the kitchen and I walked over to the kitchen. Billy sat at the counter with a bag of coke and several empty beer bottles. A cigarette that smelled of marijuana was between his lips and a girl stood there giving him a lap dance. Her shirt was hanging off the counter and her heels were in opposite corners of the kitchen. They didn't see me standing there. The girl with blonde hair grinded against Billy and he laughed with his head leaning back.
I cleared my throat and the girl looked up, her blue eyes were rimmed with red and were glassy. She stopped and grabbed her top and shoes. I waited for her to leave. The door slammed shut and I looked Billy down.
"Don't bring those whores around here." I commanded annoyed. Billy shrugged and stumbled to the door to get to his room. I picked up his beer bottles and threw them in the trash. I left the coke and marijuana out on the counter. I turned off the music and went to my room.
My clutter of stuff was on top of my desk. My jacket was thrown across the bed and the bed was not made. I changed into some jeans and a white t-shirt from my tux. I rubbed the jell out of my hair and headed out. Joe was in the living room watching TV when I passed him to leave.
"Be back before eleven and don't get caught. Thanks with Billy!" He shouted as I left the apartment and shut the door.
My friends, Mark Allen and Dylan Perez were outside my apartment waiting to go to some party at a girl from school. We walked in her house and were greeted by a couple girls from my fan club.
"Like hi, Spencer. I didn't know you were coming today." The blonde said.
"Yep, so whose party is it?" I asked.
"Natalie Whitman, you know the stuck up bitch." The blonde added.
"I'm going to go find Kayla." Mark told Dylan and I.
"Have fun with your girlfriend." Dylan yelled. Mark flipped us off and went searching for his girlfriend.
"You want to dance?" The blonde asked me. She was pretty enough.
"Sure." I answered and she took my hand and led me to the dance floor where 'What's My Name' was playing. She turned so her back was against me and she started grinding against me. I put my hands on her hips and dry humped her. People were cheering us on. All of a sudden she stops and she kisses me, I kissed her back. I felt her left hand go under my shirt and her hand traveled down my stomach muscles that were slightly defined. Her tongue asked for access to my mouth and I let her. I broke the kiss and another girl, a brunette came over. She was prettier than the blonde, she winked at me and motioned for me to go over. I went over to her and we started dancing. The blonde followed me and she danced on the other side of me so now, both girls were humping and grinding against me. I grabbed the brunette's hips and rocked into her. She arched her back into me and whispered in my ear, "My name is Madi." I nodded and kept grinding into her.
"Yo, Spencer they got beer!" Dylan yelled at me. He dragged me from the girls and brought me to the kitchen to get something to drink. Dylan grabbed a beer and I went into the liquor cabinet to get some whiskey. I poured myself some and got a beer too. I sat down on the couch to drink when the brunette and blonde came over. The blonde sat on my lap and the brunette sat next to me.
-Later that night-
I stumbled to the apartment door and dropped my keys.
"Fuck!" I yelled as I bent down dizzily getting the keys. The door was opened and the light from inside gave me a headache.
"Spencer, it's four in the morning." Billy stated while standing in place in the doorway to not let me get through without talking to him.
"Look, I'm tired can I just sleep?" I asked squinting my eyes.
"You been drinking?" He asked me.
"Can you let me in?" I asked avoiding the question.
"Yes, you have been drinking." Billy smiled back at me. I sighed in frustration.
"You're not my father, just let me come inside it's cold." I pleaded with him.
"Why I think, I am your father. I think you made it pretty clear today with it was all my fault she's dead." Billy informed me.
"Why are you trying to be a father now? Why wait thirteen years before stepping up to the plate and to be a man?" I asked reaching down to take my shoes off.
"I just found out about you." Billy answered laughing at me when I fell over while untying the laces of my shoes.
"Come on, Spencer." Billy said as he picked me up and hauled me to my bed. He set me down and I instantly fell asleep.
Dream
A young guy with messy dirty blonde hair leaned against a black mustang and a girl with long blonde hair ran over to him. She kissed him and then he put his arms around her.
"Brittany, I found an apartment in New York for us when you graduate. It's perfect, we can check it out over the weekend." The boy told the girl.
"Perfect, I found the perfect job for myself and I found a job for you if you want to work in construction." The girl replied while the guy kissed her head.
"Just as long as we can get out of this place. I can't stand him much longer." The boy told the girl. She turned to face the boy.
"I promise you that we will get out here and away from your father. Trust me, I don't want him around our kids and ourselves." The girl promised him. He leaned down and kissed the girl. She wrapped her arms around him. He spun her against the car door and her hands went to his hair. A tiny silver ring was around her ring finger.
"Hey you two, quit the make out. We got to get food before Bones whips our asses. Plus he wants us to make a delivery." A younger boy with dark hair and looked like the blonde haired boy.
"I call shot gun, Joe!" The girl yelled as she got in the passenger seat. The blonde boy laughed and got in the driver seat. The other boy got in the back clearly upset.
The scene changed and I was in a dirty bathroom. The young girl from before was sitting against the wall with her knees pulled up to her chest. She had her left hand on her stomach and her right was clutching a stick. Tears were pouring down her face and she looked like she had not slept in days.
"Brittany, are you okay?" The boy from earlier said through the door while he banged on it. She looked at the door and wiped her eyes.
"Yeah, Billy." She answered him while she got up. She wrapped the stick up in toilet paper and put it in the trash. She walked out of the bathroom to be taken away by the boy.
I walked over to the trash and pulled out what she threw away. I unfolded the toilet paper and there was pregnancy test. A little pink plus was in sight and I dropped it back in the trash.
The scene changed to a delivery room and the girl was sitting up, pushing and screaming in agony. A little brunette held her hand as the girl pushed and cried out in pain.
"Just one more push and you can have your son in your hands, Brittany. Think of Spencer, just push." The brunette encouraged the blonde.
"I hate Billy for this. It hurts so bad!" The girl screamed in pain as she pushed once again. She stopped and a baby's cry was heard through the room, a smile lit up on the blonde's face. The doctor handed the newborn baby to the blonde.
She touched the baby's face and kissed his forehead.
"Hi Spencer Martin, I'm your mom. I know you'll ask about your daddy but I don't know what to say besides that his name is Billy Darley. You look just like your daddy." The blonde said to the baby.
End of dream
BILLY
After I set Spencer in his bed and he passed out, I went out to smoke a cigarette since I could not sleep at all today. I exhaled the smoke and watched it float away from me.
"Billy, why didn't you save me? You promised me you always would." Brittany whispered in my ear. I turned to face Brittany but nobody was there. The wind howled behind me. I put the cigarette back to my lips and inhaled. I held the smoke in clearing my head and then exhaled slowly. I repeated this once again to relax myself.
"Why didn't you follow me, Billy? I could be alive right now." Brittany whispered in my ear again. I turned around quickly to discover nothing there.
"Billy? Baby, what are you doing?" Her voice murmured. But still the only thing in sight was the lonely street and the empty apartment building. I went back inside my apartment and went straight to the kitchen. I grabbed a beer to get her voice out of my head.
"Don't forget about me, Billy." She spoke once again. I downed the beer and got another, chugging it down quicker then the other one.
"Billy Darley." She whispered again.
"Get the fuck out of my head!" I yelled as I stumbled to get the pills from the medicine cabinet in the bathroom. I flung open the cabinet and reached for the pill bottle. It fell to the floor and I hastily picked it up off the floor. I poured a couple pills out of the bottle and popped them in my mouth.
"Billy?" Her voice said once again.
"Damn, I need something stronger." I murmured as I stumbled to my bedroom. I stumbled to get to the bedside table to pull out my personal stash of coke. I did some lines quickly and then her voice was gone from my head. I laid down on my bed and closed my eyes to let my high take affect.