Chapter 10-
-Two weeks later. Mark and Roger are sitting in the living room-
Roger: When is Jake coming over?
Mark: he should be here any minute now…
Roger: wow, he's late. Maybe he decided to stand you up!
Mark: and maye you're an idiot. No wait- cross the maybe, you're an idiot.
Roger: -ignores him- or maybe he got some sense. You didn't call your scarf SCARFY in front of him – DID you?!
Mark: not that it's any of your buisness- but no I didn't. he probably just got stuck in traffic or something.
Roger: Soooooo, do I hear wedding bells?
Mark: throws a pillow at him-
Roger: -ducks. Pillow hits the window-
-There's a knock on the door-
Mark: see? That's probably him now. -goes to open the door- told you he wouldn't stand me up! –opens- hi Jake!
Jake: Hi! -kisses him before he can stop him or duck- Hi Roger! Sorry I'm late. I got you something!
Roger: you really shouldn't have, I've got pretty much everything I need –
Jake: I meant Mark.
Roger: Right.
Jake: -hands Mark a paper bag-
Mark: thanks! You shouldn't have! -opens and stares-
Roger: ...it's a new scarf. -starts laughing his head off-
Mark: …so you really DO hate Scarfy??? -in a small voice-
Jake: what? No! I just thought you liked scarves... so I saw this pink one and I thought you'd like it! It would really look sweet on you!
Mark: …you hate Scarfy! And I thought it was just Roger being a jackass!
Roger: -stops laughing- Mark. It's never just Roger being a jackass. -goes back to laughing-
Jake: sorry... I really thought you'd like it -looks depressed-
Mark: …-stares at it- well I could wear it sometimes if it's that important to you…
Jake: really?! -instantly looks happy- that's great! Let's take a picture of you and your new scarf!
Roger: what are you going to name that one? Scarfio?
Mark: how about "Roger RIP"? –glares-
Jake: -doesn't get it- okay! -draws out a camera- let's take a picture of you and Roger RIP!
Mark: …-bursts out laughing-
Roger: -scowls-
Mark: let's. -cheered up-
Jake: oh joy! -takes a picture- so how about a "thank you"?
Mark: -glares at Roger- Why not. -kisses him-
Roger: -oohs and aahs loudly in the background-
Mark: -kicks his leg back and hits him in the crotch-
Roger: -screams out loud-
Jake: so... anyone hungry?!
-later that night, Mark and Jake in bed-
Jake: -tries to kiss Mark-
Mark: …do you really hate Scarfy?
Jake: what?
Mark: -turns to him- do you really hate Scarfy? Be honest!
Jake: I... I never really gave Scarfy much thought...
Mark: well you obviously gave him some thought if you decided to buy a scarf-
Jake: no… I just remebered you always had a scarf… so I thought you liked scarves… I never even noticed that it was always the same one…
Mark: A SCARF? IT?!
Jake: -starts giggling- sorry. You always had SCARFY. And HE was always the one you were wearing.
Mark: -glares- don't mock me.
Jake: I'm not! Honest. I think it's cute.
Mark: -gives him a doubtful look-
Jake: seriously!!!
Mark: yeah sure. You think I'm mad.
Jake: I think you're cute.
Mark: and a psycho.
Jake: a cute psycho.
Mark: so you admit it!
Jake: well, everyone is a psycho if you really think about it...
Mark: yeah well not everyone is so obvious about it…
Jake: but in a cute way!
Mark: how can you be a cute psycho? Hold a teddy bear while chopping people heads off?
Jake: or wear Scarfy while doing it.
Mark: you think it'll be cute if I chopped someone's head off while wearing Scarfy?
Jake: -giggles- it might be...
Mark: ok, you're the bigger psycho.
Jake: but a cute one?
Mark: I donno…put Scarfy on and we'll see.
Jake: you mean I'm allowed to touch it... him?!
Mark: you were always allowed to touch him, now you're allowed to wear him!
Jake: okay! -takes Scarfy-
Roger: wait a minute! -bursts into the room- why does HE get to wear Scarfy?!
Mark: because HE doesn't hate Scarfy and HE doesn't make fun of him!
Roger: the only reason I hate Scarfy is because you've been treating HIM a lot nicer than you have ME!
Mark: that's because HE'S not an asshole!
Roger: he's a SCARF! And you think of him as a second roomate!
Mark: and he's a better roomate than YOU!
Roger: I want to wear it!
Mark: it? IT?! You're not even allowed to touch him!
Roger: it's a SCARF!
Mark: then why do you care?!
Roger: because you're still nicer to him than you are to me!
Mark: I'd be nice to you if you'd be nice to me!
Roger: when was I not nice to you? –innocently-
Mark: I've been waiting for this--pulls out a 40 pages long list and hands it to Roger- that's just last month!
Roger: -stares-
Mark: and this, by the way, counts as not nice- go back to your own room!
Roger: -pouts, hangs his head and walks very slowly out-
Jake: ohhhhh… -motions Mark to pity him-
Mark: …no….
Jake: Roger, wait!
Roger: -stops and turns back hopefully- Yes?
Jake: -nudges Mark-
Mark: what? He's not nice to me!
Jake: but look how sad you've made him!
Mark: he laughs in my face all the time, makes fun of Scarfy, eavesdrops and won't give us 5 private minutes!
Roger: -unable to stop himself- to do what in those five minutes? Run away and try to distract Jake while he's trying to get a kiss?
Mark: you see? He's not sorry! He keeps doing it!
Jake: okay, now, you two. I want you both to apologize. Then you hug it out and Roger will leave, because now you're both going to be considerate.
Roger: I'm not apologizing for anything! –childisly- he started it!!!
Mark: I started it?! You're the inconsiderate bastard!
Roger: you're the one who –
Mark: who WHAT?!
Roger: you – well, you – you treated Scarfy better than me! -in an accusing voice- you love him more than me!!!
Mark: I told you- I'd be nice to you if you'd be nice to me! And anyway- I'm nice! I pay the rent and buy the food and get you your AZT and I helped you through withdrawal- if that's not nice what is?!
Roger: but you still love him better!!!!
Mark: you know that's not true- I love you plenty- you're my favorite guy in the world!
Jake: wait, what? What?
Mark: well he IS my best friend…
Jake: so?! I'm – I'm your boyfriend! I'm the one you're sleeping with!
Roger: -perks his ears-
Mark: REALLY?! Since WHEN?! I must have missed the memo!
Jake: well you're GOING to, anyway!
Mark: says WHO?!
Jake: says me... you are, aren't you?
Roger: he is.
Mark: since when do you get to decide who I sleep with?!
Roger: I sleep in the next room. You are. Anything to keep me awake.
Mark: so is THAT why you keep burging in?!
Roger: I'm out of here! –leaves-
Jake: …we are going to have sex SOMEDAY, right?
Mark: why don't we just let whatever happens happen?
Jake: well… -cheers up- okay! You're worth the wait. -sweetly-
Mark: …right. Well I'm glad that's settled.
Jake: -gets back in bed-
Mark: -lies down next to him-
Jake: -starts to drift off-
Mark: …do you REALLY hate Scarfy?