So I look on the package of some lotion that I got at the store, and it says: Directions: Use only as directed. And that is…? It reminded me of those things people put in their profiles that record sayings on products, such as Do not iron clothes on body. and (on the bottom of a container) Do not turn container upside down.

Those always make me shake my head and ponder the stupidity of large companies.

Chapter 2: Chemical

Fang and I arrived at McDonalds and were poring over their menu, which was, quite frankly, indecent. My eyes were bombarded by juicy burgers, chemicalish fries, and anorexic waitresses popping up to the cash register to ask, in a plasticy voice, what we would like to order. I gave the blonde a sickly sweet smile and was about to order when Fang stepped up beside me. The blonde's eyes widened, and she batted her eyelashes and tossed her hair. Nudging Fang, I made discreet barfing motions, but to my surprise, he didn't take any notice. He smoothed back his hair in a most un-Fang-like way, and ordered a wide assortment of burgers, salads, sandwiches, etc.

"Is that all for today?" The waitress asked.
"Yes, that's all." I said coldly, though I wasn't really sure why.

"Your total is $17.43. Your order will be right up." She wiggled her eyebrows suggestively. That was when I clamped my hand on Fang's shoulder, spun him around before he could reply, and steered him directly out the front door.

"Max! What the hell was that for?"

I didn't reply, but ran to a deserted area behind the store, snapped out my wings, and took off. Once I was I good fifty feet up into the air, I looked down with my raptor vision to see Fang shaking his head as though puzzled, and then quickly heading back into the store to grab our order.

I wasn't sure why I was so angry – Fang was like a brother to me. The only feelings I had for him were completely brother–sister related… weren't they? But when I had seen him kissing Lissa as though she were the eighth wonder of the world… and now flirting with that waitress… Before I knew it, I was speeding through the air at 250 miles per hour, my hair streaming in a tangled mess behind me and my wings slicing through the wind. Lately, whenever I was feeling a strong emotion, my new skill would take over and I would be flying at insane speeds that the rest of the flock couldn't reach even in a steep downward dive. Looks like that was what was happening now – but what emotion was I feeling? I couldn't exactly place it. Was it annoyance? Frustration? Jealousy? Love? I quickly shut that thought out of my mind. I was Maximum Ride. I was who the flock worshipped as their O Wonderful, Fearless Leader. I couldn't show weakness. I couldn't be in love.

Finally, I figured that I had better slow down, otherwise I'd travel halfway across the country rather than the short distance from McDonald's to our cave. After getting my bearings, I realized that I had actually overshot by a couple miles, so I doubled back and reached the cave. Plastering on a fake smile for the kids, I briskly walked inside, grabbed a few of the Itex papers to look at, and huddled in a secluded corner where I couldn't be bothered. The papers were really just a cover-up – right now I just needed some time to sit in quiet and think. But unfortunately, I wouldn't be granted that simple pleasure, because just then, Fang arrived with the food and was greeted with a chorus of hungry moans.

I didn't blame them – although it was probably filled with chemicals, the smell of the food was overwhelming. I have survived torture at the hands of scientists. I have fought five fully grown adults at a time in combat. I will dislocate an Erasers shoulder without a second thought. I will hold a grudge for years without showing any weakness. But there was one think that I was a sucker for: food. So I admit, when I smelled those chemical fries, I moaned in pleasure. Although I refused to talk to Fang, I grudgingly took my meal from his hands and scarfed it down in seconds. Then I returned to my corner to ponder my newfound deep feelings.

After a few minutes, I was joined by a babbling Nudge, who was going on about some hot guy she saw on American Idol. When she realized I wasn't engaging in the conversation, she looked at me and read my expression immediately.

"Max, are you okay?"

"Yeah, I'm alright."

"Are you sure you don't, you know, want to talk about anything?"

I smiled at her. She could really be very compassionate and motherly when she wasn't beating up Erasers. "No, not really."

"You know, Max, you should really read Girl's Life. They list the 15 signs that tell you that a person is crushing on someone. Then you might be better at lying about your emotions. Because right now, you're displaying every one of the 15 signs."

"Wha…?"

"I've trained myself to recognize these things. 1)They appear to be thinking about something else all the time. 2) They won't let anyone talk to them about what they're feeling. 3) They like to be alone a lot. 4) The don't - "

"Nudge." She was running on again.

"Sorry."

I laughed, but the look on her face brought me back to reality. It was true – she really could see right through my calm façade.

"Wow – you must study that magazine incessantly."

"Well, let's just say that if I studied textbooks like I studied fashion magazines, I'd be a straight-A student. But seriously… who is it?"

"Who's what?"

"Who do you like?" She cried in exasperation. I clamped my hand over her mouth to keep her quiet. I really didn't need Iggy hearing us and joining our conversation. Speak of the devil…

"Tell me, or I'm telling Iggy you're in love!" Nudge cried triumphantly, knowing that her blackmail had sealed the deal.

"No fair. And I'm not in love!" I pouted. But I knew that there was no getting out of this now.

"You have 10 seconds to tell me. 10… 9… 8…"

"Fine."

"Well?"

"I shfink dats I kinda shlike fangish," I said, hiding my face under my arm so that it muffled the words.

"Um… sorry? Even I didn't catch that, and I'm the queen of talking at super-speed."

I looked up at her slowly. "Fang," I whispered, horrified that my secret was out.

"Aha!" Nudge pumped her fist in victory.

"You. Cannot. Tell. Anyone. Or I will murder you in your sleep," I hissed, once again clamping my hand over her mouth and putting her into a headlock.

"Okay, okay, fine!" She laughed, wriggling out of my grasp. "But I will find a way to make you tell him!"

Angel stuck her head in at that moment and said, "Iggy started a fire – do you guys want s'mores?"

"S'MORE'S!" Nudge cried blissfully, and ran out towards the others. I took Angel's hand and followed them, and we all enjoyed mushy marshmallow-and-chocolate-and-graham-cracker confections. Unfortunately, that distraction didn't prevent me from realizing the threat in Nudge's previous statement. I was doomed.