This is a harry potter song fic based off the song "Lady marmalade" From Moulin Rouge. THIS IS A PARODY. I AM NOT TRYING TO MAKE FUN OF HARRY POTTER IN ANYWAY. THANK YOU.
Cast:
Mya- Hannah Abbot (Hufflepuff)
Lil' Kim- Luna Lovegood (Ravenclaw)
P!nk- Pansy Parkinson ( Slytherin)
Christina Aguilera- Hermione Granger (Gryffindor)
Missy Elliot- Professor McGonagall (Teacher)
Summary: One Dumbledore calls the seventh years to the great hall, Draco Malfoy is in for the surprise of a life time.
Draco Malfoy strode into the great hall, Zambini and Nott twos steps behind him. He didn't know why the headmaster would call the seventh years into the great hall so late, but he knew it must be something important. But it didn't really matter, because he didn't care what the jovial man had to say about 'inner-house relations' and 'school unity' he was better than everyone else. He had the blood, the power, the money. He was a Malfoy. Enough said.
Taking a seat at his usual spot at the Slytherin table, he glanced over to where Potter and Weasel were sitting looking confused and glancing around the hall. Draco wondered where Granger was. She was always following those two around, but now she was nowhere to be seen.
'Why do I care where the mudblood is? She's a bushy haired-know it all.' Draco thought.
"Hello everyone," Dumbledore's voice snapped Draco out of his thoughts. "Tonight we will have a special performance done by five seventh year girls. Enjoy." With a wave of Dumbledore's hand, the lights went out in the hall, and the tables transformed into long, velvet runways. The only light was coming from the twinkling bulbs overhead.
All of a sudden, there was a voice over near the doors. Draco watched as Professor McGonagall stepped out. "Ladies and Gentlemen welcome, to the Moulin Rouge." her voice rang out, Then music started playing.
"Where's all my soul sisters, let me her ya flow sisters." A voice came out from somewhere in the dark. Then, another voice joined it.
"Hey Sister, Go Sister, Soul Sister, Go Sister
Hey sister, go sister, soul sister, flow sister"
A girl appeared on top of the Ravenclaw runway. Draco recognized her as Hannah Abbott, a Hufflepuff. She was wearing one of the sexiest outfits Draco had ever seen. It was a blue corset, Showing tremendous amounts of cleavage, with bronze heels and garter belts. Her blond hair was slicked back and put up into a sexy bun, and feather decorated her hair. She looked amazing. Bu the one thing he didn't understand was why she was wearing Ravenclaw colors. She was the houses rival. But then she started singing, and dancing around with flowing, sultry movements, and Draco forgot about that.
He met Marmalade down in Old Moulin Rouge.
Struttin' her stuff on the street
She said 'Hello,hey Joe, you wanna give it a go?Oh!
'Mmm Hmmm Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Da Da
Gitchi Gitchi Ya YaHere
Mocca chocolata Ya Ya
Creole Lady Marmalade
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
With a crack of the whip she was holding, she gestured over to the Gryffindor table. Draco looked father over to see yet another scadely dressed girl was dancing over on that table, wearing a gold top hat over short black hair, and a red sequins bra and panties, with thigh high black leather boots, But as soon as she opened her mouth to join Hannah, he immediately recognized the deep, raspy voice.
'PANSY?' Draco thought in disbelief. How could the Slytherin princess herself strut around the dreaded Gryffindors?
He sat in her boudoir while she freshened up
Boy drank all that Magnolia wine
All her black satin sheet Is where he started to freak,
Yeah.
Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Da Da
Gitchi Gitchi Ya Ya Here
Mocca chocalata Ya Ya
Creole Lady Marmalade
A third Vice joined in on Pansy and Hannah's french, And yet another girl appeared on the hufflepuff table. It was Loony Lovegood! She had on an outfit similar to pansy's only hers was black, with yellow sequins an black feathers around the back of the corset. Again, she was disgracing her house wearing Hufflepuff colors! Some part of Draco knew this was outrageous, but he couldn't keep his eyes away from the sexy girls. He also knew that next was the slytherin table. And According to the pattern, She would be a Gryffindor wearing slytherin colors. He couldn't wait to see the looks on the gryffindorks' faces.
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi ce soir?
Voulez-vous coucher avec moi?
yea yea uh
He come through with the money and the garter bags
I let him know we bout that cake straight up the gate uh
We independent women, some mistake us for whores
I'm sayin', why spend mine when I can spend yours
Disagree? Well that's you and I'm sorry
Imma keep playing these cats out like Atari
Wear ideal shoes get love from the dudes
4 bad ass chicks from the Moulin Rouge
hey sistas, soul sistas, betta get that dough sistas
We drink wine with diamonds in the glass
bottle case the meaning of expensive taste
if you wanna Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya
Mocha Chocalate-a what?
Real Lady Marmalade
One more time C'mon now
He never knew Lovegood had any talent, much less rapping. All Three girls were singing now, and he could hear the faint voice coming from the opposite end of the table.
Marmalade.. Hannah sang. Lady Marmalade... Pansy Whispered… Marmalade… Loony threw out.
Hey! Hey! Heyyyyyy! A new voice came out, Booming, powerful, seductive. Draco felt like he was hit by a brick. That girl's voice was powerful. Then the girl mae her appearance. She shook out her curly, wild, brown hair. And strutted down the velvet path, running her hands over her beautiful lace corset, slytherin green of corset, with pieces of black lace. Her back garter belt showed off her long, golden legs, and silver heels were tall and made Draco wonder how she could walk, much less dance.
Touch of her skin feeling silky smooth
color of cafe au lait alright
It wasn't until she came too stand by Draco that he knew the girls identity. With a wink of a brown eye, to him, He knew who it was.' GRANGER!' he thought. She was so sexy…..Wait! He shouldn't be thinking things like that. Granger was a stumpy, bookworm…..
Made the savage beast inside roar until he cried,
More-more-more! She moaned out, making Draco look at her, mesmerized.
Now he's back home doin' 9 to 5! Pansy sang out.
livin' the grey flannel life! Hannah again cracked her whip.
But when he turns off to sleep memories creep,
More-more-more! Granger then got on her knees, again shaking out a throwing around her sexy hair, and began to crawl, Freakin' crawl, over to him. Then all the girls, singing in perfect harmony, sang the chorus everyone knew so well.
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya dada (da daeaea yea)
Giuchie, Giuchie, ya ya here (ooh)
Mocha Choca lata ya ya (yea)
Creole lady Marmalade
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? ce soir? Whispered Granger to him, as all the girls sang out.
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? She sang to Blasie.
All my sisters ya! Hannah trilled out in her high Soprano.
Voulez vous coucher avec moi ce soir? ce soir? He heard Pansy.
Voulez vous coucher avec moi? C'Mon! uh! Lovegood Boomed out.
Then, To Draco's displeasure (he made sure not to show it) Granger got up and strutted down the rest if the runway, along with the other girls, so they all appeared at the teacher panel. To those who didn't know who was at the other tables, they gasped in shock. Draco could practically hear Weasley's fuming at Granger wearing rival colors. He again heard McGonagall's voice.
Hermione…
yay a ohhhhh Granger sang in reply.
Pansy …
Lady Marmalade! Pansy Sang.
Luna…
hey Hey! uh uh uh uh uh! Luna's voice again had that deep rapper's feel to it.
Hannah…
Oh Oh ooooh….. She cracked her whip a third time.
Moulin Rouge...
McGonagall here…
Creole Lady Marmalade! All the girls sang together, Pansy, Hannah, Loony, and Granger. Then as I by magic, (which it probably was….duh.) the girls twirled and ended up in their house color outfits. It almost saddened Malloy that granger was no longer in sexy slytherin green.
Yes-ah... The girls finished off and struck a pose.
The lights turned back on a little bit, and the audience just stared at them in shock. Then, after about a minute, everybody was up, clapping, cheering, and begging for an encore.
The girls bowed. High-fived, and then disappeared. The lights then turned fully on, the tables transformed back to normal. Draco just stared in shock.
Next time, if Dumbledore ever calls another meeting, he will sure to be interested.
FIN.
So….How was it? Liked it? Hated it? Please tell me! Review Please!
Thanks.
Carrie.