In an undisclosed location

In a pure white room

On a couch

Hitomi was watching cartoon re-runs while stuffing herself full of chocolate coco puffs. Her creator peered into the room.

"Hitomi…Hitomi are you alive? You have a mission. You can be a prev and annoy people at the same time with this… Hitomi? Ok that's it." Out of seemingly no where the remote appeared and the TV shut off.

"What the-! What happened?" Hitomi whipped around and glared at the remote. "I thought the remote was destroyed."

"No I just took it away from you."

"Why would you do that? Do you know what I have to do to get by without it?"

"Actually stand up to change the channel."

"Yeah!" she shouted as if that was a terrible crime against humanity…or puppies. "Being that close to the TV while channel surfing will ruin my eyes. I need those if I'm going to be sent out on missions, if that ever happens!"

"Well then it's a good thing you've gotten one before your eyes went bad."

Hitomi stopped dead. "Who, what, and where?"

"You should add when."

"Why?"

"Well our employer has asked for something on people who are dead."

"Oh really, well I guess I should just hop in my time machine and get to it," she wielded the sharp sword of sarcasm violently. "This is real life the only way I could do that is with a whole bunch of boring research. No way. Tell 'em we refuse," she stated as she focused again on the TV.

"I already accepted. But you're right we're not doing any research for this."

"Ok crazy, are you just going to fill this with bickering?"

"No. I'm not even going to acknowledge you insulted me and instead I'll show you my time machine."

Hitomi peered over the couch. "Since when do we have a time machine?"

"I have a time machine and that's all you need to know." A large object covered in a white sheet rolled into the room. "Behold," the sheet was whipped off, "the first ever wearable time machine!"

"That's a TUTU!"

The dark blue tutu was carefully removed from its large glass case. "It's made to look like a tutu. It's-"

"No. No. No. No! I'm not wearing a tutu on a top secret under cover mission. It'll totally give me away!"

"It's not like you have to wear it 24/7. Get there and take it off. Put it back on, come back and take it off again." The two young women glared at each other until lightening arched between them. Hitomi was the first to look away.

"How do you even know it works?"

"Testing."

Hitomi huffed knowing that was all she was going to get. She grumbled, "How does it work?"

A grin cut across the creator's face. "Once you have it on, you spin, and it needs to be a ballerina spin, to the right once, and only once, while saying the place and date you want to go. To get back you do the same thing reversed. Say the date and place you want and spin to the left. If you don't say you want to return here I won't be able to recharge it and you'll be stuck where you went for the rest of your life. So no funny business."

"Fine anything else I need to know, like the date and place and what I'm actually supposed to do when I get there?"

She was answered by a nod and a "follow me." Hitomi shuffled over to the door but stopped when she noticed she wasn't being followed.

"What are you doing?"

"Just what it looks like, preventing you and anyone else from doing any funny things. Go ahead without me." Hitomi left while chains were being wrapped around the glass case, which had already been put in a steel box and melted shut.

Hitomi tore off the sparkly tutu as soon as she blue light that had been surrounded her disappeared. She looked around before slipping on an ANBU mask that looked like a dog. So this was how Konoha looked about, Hitomi did some math, about 20 years ago. Not much of a difference.

Time to find the targets.

She stayed to the shadows and skirted around areas with houses so she could go as unnoticed as possible. She slowly made her way to the one place that would have the information she would need, the Hokage Tower. It would be risky, some of Konohas legendary ninja were alive and in the village, but it was the only to get back in time for the sponge bob marathon. It wasn't like she'd just run across them.

"Don't hurt him!" Hitomi couldn't resist the sound of a boys cry. She scanned to find where it came from. "How did you even get him?" There, in a side alley by the movie theater. She jumped to the roof beside it and peered down.

Below were three kids. They all wearing Konoha headbands and were dressed as ninja. Two were boys and the other was a girl. The boys were facing each other. The one with black hair was the one who had yelled at the silver haired one.

Silver hair sounded bored when he answered, "It was easy. When we picked you up we brought him along."

Black hair replied, "Why would you need him too? What's the point?"

"Sensei wants us to bond so we're bonding now."

"That doesn't explain why you kidnapped us."

"If we had told you the time you would have been late and having your teddy bear as a hostage assures you'll cooperate."

"I don't-"

"That's enough Kakashi give it back to him." The brunet girl interrupted. She had her hands on the theaters wall and her body still faced it but she turned her head to look at the boys. Kakashi tossed the bear to the black haired kid. "Now come here you have to see this."She moved away from a crack in the wall and Kakashi peered in. For a moment all the kids were quiet.

Wait, Hitomi thought. Kakashi, he's cute now but he becomes such a hottie when he grows up. She chuckled to herself and thought about kidnapping and taking home. The tutu's waist was stretchy; it could fit around them both. But she was told that this was a tricky mission. She couldn't interfere with the past or it could affect the future and the mission would be called a failure for her even if she did get what the client asked for.

Wait a minute, mission, client, and little Kakashi. Hitomi reached into her pocket and fished out a folded paper. She opened it and read the mission details. Oh yeah, these were her targets.

Kakashi moved away from the hole. He was unaffected by whatever he had seen, almost. He now had a nose bleed. Hitomi knew that if there's anything to be learned from reading manga it was that if guys don't get hit but they have nose bleeds they've seen something perverted. She wanted to see it too, for the sake of the mission.

"We shouldn't be here. This is wrong," Obito said.

Rin faced him with a smile. "No it's not. It's perfectly natural."

"Rin you're want to be a respected medic, right? How will it look if we're caught peeping on an adult movie."

Kakashi cut in, "If you keep your voice down that won't happen."

"Beside," Rin said calmly, "I'm learning a lesson here."

"You're learning something from watching Sensei and his wife make out." Obito wasn't buying it.

"Yes. It's the most important lesson for a medic;" The boys waited to hear what this important lesson was, "how babies are made."

Obito dropped to the ground and jumped back up. "Who are you kidding? You're just being a perv."

Rin defended herself, "No I'm not. Sensei's just teaching me without knowing it."

"Keep your voice down," Kakashi reminded them.

Obito turned to him. "You're just as bad as she is."

Rin snorted, "No Kakashi's just here to bond with us."

"Yeah right," both Obito and Hitomi said.

Hitomi continued watching them take turns peeping before she got bored. Why do they get to watch? They were just kids. They shouldn't even know about this stuff. I should do them a favor and protect their little minds from themselves. But how can I do that. A grin split across her face as the idea came.

She formed the needed hand signs; boar, dog, bird, monkey, and ram. She bit her thumb to get it to bleed and dropped it to the ground. Smoke appeared and a gust of wind blew it into her face. She chocked as she tried not to cough. Her eyes watered and she fell to her hands and knees. One hand grasped her throat as she fought the urge.

Suddenly something landed on her back throwing her off balance and into the ground. She flung it off and it crashed in a tree.

"What was that?" Hitomi heard Obito say.

"Oh you poor little squirrel," said Rin.

Oh crap, Hitomi thought. I flung my summon down there. As she scuttled to the edge and was about to peer over the squirrel ran up and almost crashed into her. The freaked out fuzzy one and started to squeak at her. She quickly covered its mouth and pointed one finger towards the kids as another covered her lips in the universal shhh sign.

"Should we follow it?" Obito asked

"Why would we follow a squirrel?" Kakashi remarked.

The squirrel was still glaring at Hitomi. "It was an accident," she apologized. "Now I need you to do something for me. Don't look at me like that. Why did you think I summoned you in the first place? Just listen to the plan and then do it."

The squirrel, although he was annoyed, agreed to the plan, and it began. (He is very dedicated to his job.)

Hitomi quickly cloned herself and sent the clone off. It was dangerous to send the clone off on her own but it had to be done. Hitomi couldn't risk herself getting caught. Not in that market place. The people of Konoha might be nice and merciful most of the time. But you do not want to ever get in the way of a ninja mom and a good sale.

Meanwhile the squirrel scurried down a tree and began his part. He quickly set up three ropes and tied just the right knot to set the trap. (He is a master knot maker, most squirrels are.)

Pretty soon the clone and the squirrel were back on the roof. Hitomi no longer needed them so she sent them away. Then she peered over the ledge to make sure the kids were not paying attention, they weren't, and she put the plan into action.

She lit the fuse and let the firework drop. It landed screaming and sparking in front of the three kids. Predictably they stepped back and that was all that was needed. All three were pulled up by their feet and they dangled from a trees branch.

Moments later Minto Namikaze appeared. He was ready to fight but he relaxed when he saw his students. Then as an after thought he was serious again. "What are you three doing?" He questioned as he moved towards them.

The kids reactions were mixed. Kakashi just stared, probably a little stunned at his seneis croaked clothes. Obito sputtered and moved his arms as he tried to explain but he only succeeded in making himself spin wildly. Rin bit her lip and looked away.

"Well?" Minto raised one eyebrow and looked around. "Did you make that crack in the wall?" He was not very happy with his students right now. "Tell me you did not damage one of Konohas greatest establishments for a prank."

Rin gasped and pointed at his neck, "Sensei, what happened you have an injury on your neck?"

Hitomi crawled forward a bit more to get a good look at his injury.

"It's nothing. Answer-"

"Do you want me to heal it? It's pretty big. It could get infected. That would be very bad considering where it is.'

"No Kushina-"

"Your wife did that to you? Sensei you should tell someone about this right away."

"Tell them about what?" Kushina had just appeared at the allys enterence. Her clothes were put on right but her hair was a mess. Behind her a crowd of people started to gather.

"Nothing." Minto replied with a blush while cutting his students down. He probably didn't want to discuss his hickey in front of the whole village.

Rin didn't stop her innocent act. "What happened in there Kushina-san?"

Kushina blinked at the girl and then shared a meaningful glance with her husband, or fiancé or something Hitomi couldn't be sure what exactly they were at this time. "Oh we watched a movie. What else do you do in a movie theater?" Kushina started to lead them away. The manager had started to move toward them and none of them felt like sticking around for a tongue lashing.

"Oh," Rin said, "Was it a good movie?"

To her credit, Kushina barely blushed at all. "Master Jiraiya gave it five stars."

Regretfully Hitomi could not follow due to the crowd below. So she watched the people and tried to guess at who they were.

The mission folder closed. "In short, Obito has a teddy bear and was kidnapped by Kakashi. Who, interestingly, was not as much of a pervert as Rin or Rin was making him into a pervert, depending on your point of view. Rin was a pervert who was very good at acting innocent. Kushina and Minto make out in movie theaters while dirty moves play."

"Is that enough for you, Sora, or should we dig a little deeper?"

AN: I forgot the disclaimer: I don't own Naruto.

* The middle wasn't as funny as I wanted it to be but I tried. I really tried.

*This chapter actually takes place about 16 years in the past, give or take a couple months. Also, I don't have and can't find any maps of Konoha before the nine tails attacked so I have to assume they rebuilt it exactly the same because that's the only way I can be as accurate as possible.

*The word of this chapter was PEERED: (verb) 1 to look narrowly or searchingly, as in the effort to discern clearly, 2 to peep out or appear slightly, 3 to come into view.

* You may noticed the selected characters changed. That will happen (probably) for every chapter.