Well, wasn't that last chapter dramatic?

Trust me, I'm not usually such a drama queen, but I felt that it was necessary to get a glimpse of what Max was really feeling, not just the façade she wore on the outside.

And I'm aware that it was short… very short.

That's why I'm updating so soon.

Shout out to TweetySweetie101 and fanglover18… you guys have been amazing with reviews. This chapter is for you!

Chapter 12: Weak

I watched in horror as Fang kind of crumpled to the ground, slumped against the wall of the cave, his eyes glazed over. Hot, angry tears pooled up in my eyes, and I raced out of the cave. Slicing through the air at super speed, I whizzed past a perplexed Flock. Landing in a tall tree, I curled against the branch and sobbed. I sobbed harder than I ever had sobbed before, eventually making myself sick. Wiping my mouth in disgust, I gave a few dry hiccups. There were no tears left to spill.

I couldn't believe what I had done. Saying that I had broken Fang's heart wasn't even an accurate description. I had pummeled it, beaten it up, ripped it into shreds, and stomped on them in high heels. There. That was more like it.

I had no idea why I had done it. Told him I hadn't loved him.

When, I could finally admit it to myself…. I had loved him. I still did. I would forever. He was the only one I would or could ever want to be with.

So why did I totally, downright, flat-out reject him?

Because I knew we couldn't love each other like that.

It would make me weaker. It would make us weaker. It would make the Flock more vulnerable.

And by making the Flock more vulnerable, I would be putting us all at risk.

My brain just wouldn't let me do that.

But would my heart let me reject Fang?

I didn't know about that either….

I flew back to the cave maybe two hours later, to see the Flock sitting (well, Nudge was lying on a blanket, actually) tersely in a circle. Again, we were missing one member.

Fang.

It hurt to think about him, but I forced my mind to.

"Max, can we talk to you for a second?" Nudge's sweet voice pierced the silence like a dagger.

"Mmm?"

"Well, we were thinking…" Angel started.

"What did you do to Fang?" Gazzy interjected.

"Why does he look like he just went to a funeral?"

"Why is he moping around talking less than he already does, which equals saying nothing?"

"This is all your fault!"

"He loved you, you know!"

"Why did you have to go and break his heart?"

I put my hands up in surrender, taking a step backwards. Looking around at the Flock, I saw that the girl's faces wore concerned expressions, Gazzy looked utterly bewildered, and Iggy's face was contorted in anger.

"Whoa, whoa, guys," Angel said, and for once, I was glad that she was taking the lead. "This is probably really overwhelming for Max. Why don't we just let Iggy talk to her?"

There was a chorus of mumbled "Okay, fines" and a few eye rolls. I motioned to Iggy near the edge of the cave, and in a bound, we were both in the air, our wings spread out behind us. We flew in silence for a bit, then Iggy started to bank, and I saw that he was heading towards a small clearing near a lake (not telling you what it's called). We sat down on an abandoned park bench, and Iggy looked tense and about ready to burst. I waited patiently for him to start his rant.

"I can't believe you, Max. He loved you! Don't you realize that? He came and talked to me, asked for advice, trying to gather up enough courage, and then he finally did, and you broke his heart. Have you seen him? He's like an empty shell! It's scary. You're not the only one who cared about him, you know! He was like a brother to the rest of us. Or did you even care about him? You know, we all – "

I cut him off mid-sentence, and looked him straight in the eye. "Look, Iggy. I'm going to tell you something, and I need you to promise to share it with no one. Especially not Fang."

"Make me," he challenged.

"Fine," I waved my hand lightly, knowing it would get on his nerves. "I won't tell you, then. Maybe I'll go talk to Nudge…"

"Okay. Fine. I won't tell anyone."

"Promise me you won't."

"Sure, Max, I promise," he said sarcastically. "Is that good enough for you? Or do you want me to pinky swear it?"

He held out his hand, and I swatted it away. "Okay, then, I'll tell you. I am in love with Fang."

"Oh, newsflash! Gee whiz, didn't see that one coming! It's not like you've been making gaga eyes at him for the past year, no, nothing like that…"

"Iggy. Shut up for a second." He stared at me with narrowed eyes, daring me to contradict him. "Yes, I know I've been making gaga eyes. Yes, I know I've been an idiot. And yes, I am also in love. But Fang and I can't be like that! I thought you, of all people would understand!"

He cast his eyes down, knowing I was referring to him and Nudge.

"You know that the more you love, the more you lose! I can't love Fang like that. If anything were to ever happen to him –" my voice broke, and I fought to keep it steady, "you know that it would destroy me! Our being in love makes the Flock weaker, and I can't have that."

Iggy looked at me, his eyes now soft, understanding. "But Max, you haven't got a choice."

My head snapped up. "What?"

"You can't choose who you fall in love with. Love just… happens. Whether you want it to or not. You and Fang are in love. There's nothing you can do to change that."

I peered up at him, his face open, a vacant expression in his eyes. I wondered if he spoke from experience.

He had no idea how much those words meant to me. Fighting back tears (why the hell do I keep crying so much? I really need to go back to the whole emotionless leader thing. It worked so much better), I scooted closer to him, and wrapped him in a tight embrace. Unlike Fang, he was not stiff as a board – his arms wrapped around me and I buried my face into his shoulder. He stroked my hair in a brotherly way, whispering, "It'll be okay, Max. It'll be okay."

I slowly pulled away from him, gave his hand a grateful squeeze, and took off into the night.