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Chapter 13: No
Fang clenched and unclenched his hands, his face distorted in a mask of unbearable sadness and rage. Look what he had done. He had finally, finally shown to Max how much he loved her, and now, a few hours later, he was wandering the shadowed streets in the D.C. area, alone. Because of Max. No! a voice in his head protested. It's not her fault. It's yours. No matter how hard he tried to force himself to be angry at Max for rejecting him, he couldn't. It simply wasn't possible for him to be angry at Max. So, he reasoned, it was his fault. He was the one who had let his guard down, who had made himself susceptible and weak. It was his fault.
He walked briskly, relishing the feeling of the aching blisters on his bare feet, the sharp brambles scraping his arm as he deliberately brushed against a bush. Any physical pain was more bearable than having to think about what had just happened.
Looking up at the sky, he guessed it was about four o'clock, three hours since he had been in the cave with Max. He wondered where she had gone when she had flown off. Was she out there somewhere, just as alone as he was? Mentally slapping himself, he uttered a curse. No thinking about Max. Think about happy thoughts. Like rainbows, and butterflies, and sparkly ponies... That deserved another mental slap, but before he had the chance to shake his head at the stupidity of his wandering thoughts, he skidded to a stop at the sight of something that brought back floods of memories.
It was a large, dark church with a tall spire protruding from the top. Fang was forcefully reminded of a church very similar to this that he had seen about three months ago. He and Max had been following a lead that Max had gotten from the news, and they stumbled across the home of Iggy's parents.
That was when they had been in Virginia with Anne. Virginia… where he had gotten a chance at a normal life, gone to school, had his first Thanksgiving dinner, gotten his first real kiss…
Gotten his first real kiss…
With a start, Fang remembered the kiss in vivid detail.
Her fiery red hair, her sweet smile as she leaned into him, his hands rubbing her back, her arms around his neck…
Lissa.
He knew what he had to do.
. . .
Fang had known that the flight to Virginia was long. What he had forgotten was that he hadn't eaten since noon, and he didn't remember to pack any food. Not wanting to waste time, he didn't stop for rest or to run through a Burger King, and so when he landed in a clearing near Anne's house, he fell to the ground, exhausted and starving.
Looking around, he gauged that he was about a mile from Anne's house. Lissa lived a few blocks away from Anne – he had visited her house in the short period of time that they were dating – and he started walking purposefully in that direction. After about ten minutes, he arrived at her front doorstep, raised his hand to ring the doorbell –
And stopped. Slamming his fist against the brick of the large house, he cursed himself – turns out he hadn't thought through this plan at all. What the hell was he supposed to do once he got here? He shook his head. What did that matter, anyway? He had started this, he might as well finish it. Punching the doorbell with an unneeded amount of force, Fang stepped back and waited.
. . .
Lissa's mom opened the door, and clapped her hand to her mouth in surprise. "Nicholas, darling! You're back! Oh, how we've missed you, how Melissa's missed you!"
"It's good to see you, too, Mrs. Harrison,"
"Oh dear, you look spent. Do come in and sit down! Melissa, love," she called to Lissa, "come downstairs! Someone very special is here to see you!"
"Ugh, Mom, do I have to? I'm texting Jake…"
"Yes, honey," Mrs. Harrison said in a strained voice. "You'll really want to come see our guest."
Lissa tromped down the stairs, in skinny jeans and a gray blazer, her hair curled into flawless waves. Fang looked at her, expecting his breath to catch, the way it did whenever he saw Max, but he only stared in mild interest.
Lissa, however was not so mild. "Nicky!" she squealed, throwing herself into Fang's arms. Fang stiffened, patting her back awkwardly, and was aware of the fragrance of her hair, an over powerful stench of strawberries. Max smelled citrusy and fresh, he thought, not nearly as unpleasant as Lissa's sickly sweet smell.
Almost moaning in frustration, he tried to stop thinking of Max. No Max. Max is bad. No thinking about her.
Stepping away from Lissa, he slowly looked her in the eye. Her expression was glowing and eager. "Oh, Nicky, I've missed you so much! Why did you have to go?"
Fang shifted uncomfortably. "Er…"
"Here, you don't have to explain now. I understand." She gave him a sweet smile and took him by the hand. "Come on, let's go to the park. We can talk there."
Waving goodbye to her mother with perky cheerfulness, Lissa skipped out the door, Fang following in her wake. Once they were outside, she looked up into his eyes, and said, "So what have you been doing with yourself, Nicky?"
"Erm, not much," he said awkwardly. "Just been… around. What about you?"
"Well," she gushed, "after all the craziness at the school, they had us transferred over to a nearby high school for the rest of the year. It was uh-mazing. There were so many new kids, and lots of great guys… but I never looked at one of them, you know."
Fang seriously doubted the truth of this statement.
"Really, Nicky, why did you leave?" Her eyes pleaded him to tell the truth.
"Um, well, some things came up…"
She abruptly changed the subject. "Is there something going on in between you and Max? I know you guys were adopted, and everything…"
"No," Fang said jerkily. "There's nothing between us."
"Good." Lissa batted her eyelashes. "Like I said, I haven't looked at another guy since you. I always knew you had been the one."
Fang bit his lip.
"Why did you come back, Nick?"
"Well, er – "
But before he could say anything else, Lissa put her hands on his chest, reached up, and kissed Fang full on the mouth. He went rigid in surprise, but slowly kissed her back, realizing how much he had longed for a kiss like this. Lissa, taking dominance, backed him up until they were sitting on a bench in a secluded area of the park. Fang deepened the kiss, his hands roaming across Lissa's back, hers cupping his cheeks. Her hands felt soft against his face, nearly as soft as Max's…
Max.
Dammit.
Gasping, he pulled back from Lissa's embrace. The look of shock and hurt on her face would have normally made him feel guilty, but this time, it only fueled his anger at himself. "Lissa… I can't. This won't work."
Her lips trembled. "But why, Nicky?"
"Because… there's someone else."
Tears pooled in the corners of her eyes, threatening to streak the mascara coating her eyelashes. "Who? Who? Tell me! I'll kill them!" she said, her sadness turning into pitiful rage.
Fang stood up. "I've gotta go. Sorry – "
She burst into tears as he backed away. "But Nicky, I loved you!"
Shaking his head, Fang stated what he already knew.
"No. You didn't."