Damn. Damn. Damn.

A wonderful way to end a very bad day in the life of Lucy Weasley. My dad is here.

"What were you thinking? No… You weren't thinking."

Shall we recap?

Gryffindor won the match! But just after the Snitch was caught, I knocked Gavin Merisque off his broom. And he fell… Now he's in the hospital wing re-growing most of the bones in his body.

Then I had a wonderful meeting with Professor Longbottom, the Headmaster, and Referee Wood. In summary, I got yelled at, and they kicked me off the team.

At least Stout Boy won't be able to play for the next match. His bones will be back, but just in case.

And on the way back to my dormitory, I ran into Dad.

"He's dating Abby!" I blurted.

Dad stopped pacing back and forth. "What?"

Has he always looked this menacing? "Stout Boy- I mean Gavin Merisque, the one I hit with a Bludger…" Not helping! Get to the point! "He's dating Abby."'

Dad groaned. "So you decided you had to try and kill him? Honestly Lucy, you're as bad as your Uncle George!"

And his point was? "Doesn't Uncle George have twice as much money as you? And is much more well respected in the Wizarding Community?"

His fingers curled around his wand. I took a cautionary step backwards.

"You can't joke your way through life, Lucy. You have to be serious."

I wanted to tell him Uncle George does, but Dad looked like he wanted to attack me with a Bludger, so I didn't. It's called common sense, ladies and gentlemen!

"Yes sir."

He seemed to like being called sir. Dad loosened his grip on his wand.

"I expect you to apologize."

"What?" I yelped. "Apologize? To Stout Boy?"

He turned around to leave, not even looking at me. How rude! "Today."

So far my plan wasn't working very well. Me= off the Quidditch team. Gavin= rather beat up, but still El Capitan. And now I look like some violent off her rocker mad girl!

I galloped to the Hospital Wing to get this apology thing over with. You see, I prefer not to just walk. It's rather boring. So I'm prone to skipping, galloping, moon walking, and other alternatives. I tried rolling to Herbology as a first year once. It rained the day before, so that was not one of my better ideas.

Holy blue. This was not going to be easy. El Capitan was surrounded by people.

"Security! Security!" A particularly idiotic fan boy screamed.

"Shut it James!" I leaned awkwardly against the door, doing my bad-ass Auror pose. Then again, maybe not the best pick of poses. They might think I'm here to kill them all with Bludgers. My arms dropped to my sides. Not literally of course. I mean they did drop, but- nevermind. Shut up brain! "Don't forget I still have those pictures of you running around in a Snitch costume." I raised my eyebrows.

"Last year."

Everyone started howling with laughter. James looked like he wanted to kill me. Get in line.

I bowed. "Thank you. Thank you. I'll be here all year, hopefully in one piece. So can you all scamper off or something? I have to talk to Gavin."

"Oooooo!" Boys are so stupid. They all elbowed each other and wiggled their eyebrows.

El Capitan rolled his eyes. "Go."

One of them nearly fell over on his way out. Impressive… Not.

"What do you want?" I sat down on one of the chairs by his bed. As always, he had that stupid knit cap on his head. I must be losing my mind. I could have sworn one of those smiley faces winked at me.

"Well… I felt kind of bad about what happened. Until I got here." I looked down at my feet.

He stared at me. "No you didn't."

I glared at him. Note to self- take glaring lessons from Dad. "Ok… I didn't. But I didn't mean to almost kill you. So sorry about that. Is there anything I can do?"

Gavin sighed. "Would you take notes for me? And tell me what the homework is?"

Unfortunately we have the exact same schedule. "Sure. We won. I'm sure James told you, but we did. And… I got kicked off the team. If that makes you feel any better. Not that you can really feel much of anything right now. Since you have like no bones in your body. But you can still feel, can't you?"

I felt something on my knee. He'd used his good arm, about the only thing with bones, to stick the jiggley one there. "Lucy, shut it."

It was so weird looking. Like a tentacle without… tentacley looking bits on it. Before I could stop myself, I poked his hand. It wiggled like a Jello. Amazing!

"Well, that's too bad. Because you can be a rather good Beater at times."

Was I imagining things again? Did Gavin Merisque just… compliment me?

"Did you just… compliment me?" I asked.

He nodded. Holy blue.

I bit my lip. "Er… Why?"

He looked like he was in pain. I wasn't sure if it was because he was re-growing most of the bones in his body, or from complimenting me. "Like I said, you can be a good Beater. And you seem to feel somewhat bad about this."

"Oh… Well, thanks." Did he just smile at me? "I should go. Getting late. Already in enough trouble."

I picked up his hand with two fingers and dropped it back on the bed for him. "Bye."

"See you later Lucy."

He was kept in the Hospital Wing for the next 3 days. Every day I delivered his notes and assignments. And I actually took regular notes for him. And gave him the correct information.

Did I have a lobotomy? This was a perfect sabotaging opportunity! Freddie was rather disappointed in me. But it wasn't right to mess with a cripple… Or at least that's what I said.

"And in Herbology we had to deal with this… thing only Professor Longbottom could love. It was like a dragon. Only a plant! There were fangs, it breathed fire, and the only good thing about it was that its leaves cure diarrhea!" Oh yeah. I've also taken to staying for a bit of a visit. I'm just telling him all the things he missed out on.

Gavin laughed. He actually has a rather nice laugh. Too bad he's a Stoutphant. And I despise him with the very fiber of my being. It's cotton.

Get it?

Oh how I crack myself up! Like an egg.

Shut up brain! No more lame jokes!

Maybe Gavin would find them funny… NO! BAD BRAIN! VERY BAD! Down girl! Or boy. Is it possible to have a boy brain if you're a girl? What am I talking about? Brains aren't separate individual type being things.

"I get released tomorrow morning." Gavin announced. He could bend the fingers in his formerly funny hand and pick things up with it as well. It was rather disappointing. I loved poking that thing.

"Oh." I nodded. "So do you want me to carry your books?"

Gavin wrinkled his forehead like an old person. He couldn't seem to tell if I was joking or not.

"I'm guessing my lifetime of servitude isn't over yet."

He smiled. That's funny. I've known him for about seven years and I don't think I've seen him do that before. Gavin doesn't smile. He smirks. It's his facial expression of choice.

"Uh huh."

"What?"

The smile widened. It was kind of nice. Happy Stoat Boy. "You don't hate me anymore."

What was he on? I whacked him on the arm. "Shut it! I detest you. Passionately."

Gavin clutched his arm and grimaced. Craparoni!

"Are you…alright?"

Stoatie grinned. "And you call yourself a Beater."

I winced. "Not anymore." The ending of my relationship with that foxy sport they call Quidditch was a rather painful transition.

"Oh… sorry. I forgot." He looked at me apologetically.

"Right. Well then, you'll be at the Ravenclaw-Slytherin match?"

"Wouldn't miss it."

"Right. Then I'll see you. Around."

S.B. smiled at me. I backed out of the Hospital Wing, crashing into a bed on my way out.

"Slytherin is going to win." I announced.

Freddie gawked at me, clutching his heart. "You speak treason young lass!"

I crossed my eyes. "Don't be un ananas. The only good thing the 'Claws have going for them is Tony Davies. And he cramped his hand writing an essay or somewhat and is sitting out. They're dragon meat."

"No."

"Yes!"

"No."

"Yes!"

"What are you arguing over now?" El Capitan sat down next to me. [Which isn't strange at all. The team always sits together during matches. Freddie gossips worse than Granmum.] His arm brushed against mine on the armrest. I yanked my arm away and sat on it.

"Slimy and greasy toe rags yes, aren't the Slythies a better team than the 'Claws?"

El Capitan nodded. Ha! I stuck my tongue out at Freddie. "She's right. Without Davies the Ravenclaws might as well not even have a team."

Freddie grumbled something to himself about having house pride.

"Gavin!" Oh bugger. I'd almost forgotten about that. My baby sister sat on the other side of him and threw an arm around his shoulder.

I knew the only thing keeping her from calling him some disgusting nickname was all our dad's lessons on feminism. He was hoping we'd become asexual or somewhat and he wouldn't have to worry about our love lives and guard our chastity. Luckily for him I'm destined to be a nun.

"Hey Abby." Gavin gave her a lazy smile. I growled.

Freddie looked around wildly. "Did anyone else just hear a rather small bear?"

Abby shook her head. "It sounded like a Pygmy Puff to me."

… I am disowning her at earliest opportunity, even though I have absolutely no idea why I growled.

Gavin stared at me. I raised my eyebrows. He raised his.

"So what are ya'll doing at Hogsmeade next weekend?" I asked. If Hogwarts offered a class in Small Talk I'd get top grade.

Abby flicked her hair. Has she always done that? My sister is secretly a pony. And she's dating a Stoatphant. "Checking things out with the girls."

Curious… Pony Girl isn't going to that crap girly café with her beau. Or doing anything with him. Dad would be so proud.

Freddie puffed out his chest with pride. He looked like one of those Muggle mermaids on the end of ships. His chest was almost as big. Oh how I crack myself up. "Got a date with Alistair Washburn."

I wrinkled my nose. "Why in the name of Hagrid's oversize pantaloons would you do that?"

He shrugged. "She's hot."

Ew-eth! "She looks like a fish."

"You're thinking of her sister."

"She has a sister?" Holy blue! Revelation nation!

"A twin."

"See! Your children will be destined to look like fish!"

Gavin cleared his throat. "I'm not doing anything."

Tough artichokes… Hang out with my BFF Gavin… or wander around like a friendless loser…

"Want to hang out?" asked yours truly.

He looked shocked. Fred looked shocked. Abby looked shocked.

"Sure."

And that is how I ended up with a date with my baby sister's boyfriend…