"Talk. Us. Now." Freddie yanked me down a deserted corridor. As predicted, Slytherin won. The 'Claws didn't score once.

"Ug want fire." I mocked his monosyllabic tone.

"Are you going mad? Have you been eating Tante Fleur's cooking?"

I tilted my head to the left. "Eh?"

Freddie crossed his eyes. "You just asked Gavin Merisque on a date!" He yelped. When Freddie gets all wound up like this he gets a bit twitchy. "And he's dating your sister! Which must go against the Weasley Code of Honor!"

"Don't be mad! Dating a Malfoy and wearing two different socks on purpose, yes. But going to Hogsmeade with Gavin Merisque because all my other friends have abandoned me shows up nowhere in the Code!"

"Well…" He stuck out his chin. "It should. And you've just called him a friend." Freddie's eyes bulged. He looks a bit like Little Cousin Al's toad after I accidentally sat on it last Christmas.

"Stupefy." I thought to myself. Freddie's body froze. "Sorry 'cuz but you're being a buffoon." I patted him on the shoulder and walked away.

Fred's POV

Lucy had clearly lost her Rememberalls. She was fraternizing with the enemy! As her cousin, best friend, and a Weasley it was up to me.

"Abigael Daphne Weasley, I need your help."

My younger cousin spun around. Her shortie friends gazed at me adoringly. I hate to sound like Cousin James, but I am a tad dashing and a half. Thanks for being with the time and creating mixed-race spawn Dad!

"Oh…Hey Fred. What's snapping?"

Ah these youngins' and their slang.

"Bonjour. Allo. Salut. Hasta la vista small friends of Abby!" I dragged her away.

"Can I help you?" asked Abby, crossing her arms in front of her chest. Which, as a male specimen of human beans, I must say is quite prominent.

"Yes, I would like a cheeseburger." I linked up arms with her. "Come, let us talk of many things. Like ships and sausages and lime beans."

"Is there a point to this conversation?"

"Ah! Snappy are we?" I tapped her on the head. "Have you noticed anything peculiar about your charming big sis'?"

Abby began. "Yes! Like asking out my boyfriend! What's up with tha-"

I smacked a hand over her mouth. "Silence young grasshopper. I have a plan."

Lucy's POV

It was that time of year. Our second career consultations.

"Good afternoon Lucy." Professor Longbottom greeted me as I entered his office. Acting like he hadn't kicked me off the team. Old loser man.

But we Weasleys are close to Professor Longbottom. You might even call him an honorary Weasley.

"Afternoon Professor. Have you replaced me yet?"

He smiled. Professor Longbottom also has a nice smile. For an elderly member of society that is. "Glad to see you're not bitter about it." Me? Bitter? No! And it certainly wasn't me that wrote "Prof. Neville Longbottom for a sexy good time!"on the mirrors in the girls' and boys' bathrooms. "So have you given your future career further thought?"

I nodded excitedly. "You know how my Uncle Harry became Uncle George's business partner after my Uncle Fred died in the war. And you know how Uncle Harry doesn't have the best sense of humor. Me and Fred, my cousin that is not my dead uncle, have decided we want to help Uncle George. We've already got ideas for something called Barmy Boums in a Box. Boum being French for party. Our Tante Fleur taught us that. And Uncle George says that if we do good in two years Uncle Harry will step down and me and Freddie can both be partners." I rambled. "Partners of the business that is. Assuming Freddie still wants anything to do with me."

Professor sighed. "Go talk with the Psychological Healer."

Hadn't been expecting that. I gave him my most dazzling grin. Out of the kindness of my heart and nothing more than that. "Thank you Professor!" I took the slip he handed me and skipped to the Hospital Wing.

I got a bizarre look after opening the door. "Mr. Merisque was already released."

"I'm here to see the Psychological Healer." I announced, dangling my slip.

"Parvati!" You see, the Hospital Wing is run by a pair of sisters. Twins actually. One is Psychological Healer and one does everything else. The school started having a Psychological Healer after that battle took place in Hogwarts since lots of people died, and those that didn't could use a bit of help upstairs.

Psychological Healer Patil came out of her office.

"I'm here for a chat ma'am. Is there a couch or something?"

She snorted. "You've never met with a Psychological Healer before, have you?"

I shook my head. "No. My dad thinks they're nuttier than the people who see them and a waste of Galleons. He says there's nothing that can't be cured by a day of work."

Course Dad himself is quackers.

P.H.P. sighed. She's rather pretty for an elderly. Must be around my Uncle Ron's age. Too bad being the school's Psych Healer is worse than being a nun. "Do you have any idea why you were sent to see me?"

"Is there a chair or something?" One appeared behind me and I sat on it. "I was at my career consultation and I was telling Professor Longbottom about how my cousin Fred is mad at me and he sent me here." I explained.

P.H.P. pulled out a pad of parchment and sat on a chair next to me. The door to her office closed and locked itself. "Who are you?"

Her office was covered in Muggle calendars and magazine pictures. All of shirtless men… Professional feeling lost. I hope she didn't see those messages about Professor Longbottom…

"Lucy Octavia Weasley. 7th year Gryffindor. Former beater. 17, and generally accepted to be insane."

P.H.P. seemed to be writing down every word I said. Remind me to never become a Psychological Healer.

"Noted!" My brain said to me.

I really should give it a name, since we converse so frequently. How about Chester?

"Chester Millicent?" asked my brain.

Fine. My brain is hereby named Chester Millicent. It talks to me in a rather masculine voice. Is that natural?

"Why are you having a row with your cousin?" Right. In a small perverted room with P.H.P.

"He thinks it's wrong that I'm going to Hogsmeade with Stoat-I mean Gavin Merisque."

She looked up from her parchment. "Gavin Merisque? Wasn't he in here recently?"

I nodded.

"Oh right! You're the girlfriend!" P.H.P. exclaimed.

GAAAAAH! "No! He's arrogant and a jerk. And he looks like a stoat. Plus there's that stupid smiley face knit hat he always wears. And he's my sister's boyfriend."

P.H.P. raised her eyebrows. "He didn't look like an arrogant jerk when you two were in here together."

I pouted. "Well he is. Except when he's cool about the whole me almost killing him thing. And being nice about me getting kicked off the team. And then there's the fact that he's hanging out with me at Hogsmeade instead of his girlfriend. Although said girlfriend doesn't seem to have any desire to hang out with him then, even though she's really clingy. And he doesn't seem to care much about her."

P.H.P. smiled. "You two like each other."

I gasped. "Nuh uh! Don't live a lie P.H.P.!" She looked at me curiously. "Psychological Healer Patil."

The door popped open. "You're the one pretending Lucy."

"That's it?" I snapped. Thank you very much! Not. Maybe Dad's right…

Ug! Now I'd have to go to Transfiguration.

P.H.P. nodded like some wise guru instead of the freak deprived P.H. she was. "You can come back once you've stopped lying to yourself." How crap was that line?

Ridiculous! I threw my bag strap over my shoulder and stomped out of the Hospital Wing.

BAM! Said book bag flew off said shoulder and landed on unsaid ground because I'd crashed into said rodent resembling male.

"Damn it Lucy! You are so uncoordinated." He was joking. Unless angry people normally smile and pick up their attacker's bag for them. When he smiled he almost looked like a normal human being.

You'd have thunk someone had Stupefied me. "Ung. Ach. What are you doing here?" Classes were still in session and he was supposed to be in Transfiguration now.

He countered. "What are you doing here?"

"I had-I asked first!" I caught myself.

Gavin snickered to himself. "Professor Troton sent me to give the Headmaster a message. And you?"

I did my bad ass Auror pose. "I had my career consultation."

Captain Stoat arched his eyebrows. "In the Hospital Wing? Do you go to Gringotts for medical help?"

The opposite of funny. "Short Top sent me to the Psych Healer."

"I'll assume that's Lucyan for Professor Longbottom." We were walking side by side now. "It's about time."

"Have you ever been in there?" I shuddered.

If he was Freddie he would have crossed his eyes about now. "I've been going regularly since my mum tried to kill my dad second year." That sly P.H.P.! "Can I ask why you're stalking me?"

It's funny how little I actually know about him. "I am not stalking you. I happen to temporarily enjoy your company and fear that when I leave you will become lonely and depressed." Saint Lucy is my name.

Gavin grinned. My arms felt tingly. Must have walked into a spider's web. "Skiving off. Fantastic."