Title: Heart

Disclaimer: Whoever owns them, owns them! If I did, I most certainly wouldn't just be writing the fanfics!

Author's Note: Thank you to those who have reviewed and put this story on alert! It means a lot to me. I told one of you that I surmised Kate and Josh were still together, but that was before I saw this latest episode and the promo for the next, so this will clear up mostly everything regarding that relationship. I don't want to go into too much detail for obvious reasons that I like my stories to stick close to canon. I also took a few liberties with the promo without going into details that may be quite wrong once the episode airs... Either way, if you don't wish to read SLIGHT SPOILERS for 3x13, I would not suggest you continue for now! I also apologize for this taking a few days to get online as well as it being shorter than the first chapter and not really advancing the plot. As always, reviews make me love you!

A phone was ringing. It brought her out of dream and into the nightmare that had become her life. She became aware of a crick in her neck as she moved her head against the hard surface it leaned against. Her door, she realized as her eyes fluttered open. Her cell phone rang again, vibrating in her pocket, and bringing her further into reality. She reached for it and answered the call without looking at the caller ID. "Beckett," she said tiredly.

"Kate, it's Josh," came the concerned reply on the other end of the line.

She sat up straight against the door. "Hey," she greeted, not sure how to continue the conversation but finally settling on, "How's Castle?"

"So far, so good. He's still stable. I just left the hospital. Do…you need me to come by?"

She closed her eyes and sighed. She really wished he hadn't asked her that. "Josh, please don't take this the wrong way. I'm grateful for what you did to save Castle's life tonight, but…"

"You don't want me to get the wrong idea about us," he finished for her, sounding a bit dejected.

"I'm sorry, Josh, but this doesn't change anything."

She heard a quick intake of breath. "I just thought…when you hugged me, it was as if the other night never happened."

"You were there," she told him softly, a bit of sorrow in her voice. "I needed someone, and when I saw you I felt so much relief. I knew he was in good hands."

A long pause. "It's him, isn't it? He's the reason you ended it."

She could have lied. She could have told him that Castle had nothing to do with this, and that she and Josh weren't good for each other, but she knew that wasn't the truth. Besides, she never was much for lying. "I don't know. I wish I could tell you yes or no, but the truth is I have no idea."

Another long pause. "I understand. I'll…let you go now. But honestly, as a doctor, I insist that you get some rest."

She opened her mouth to protest, but realized that crying oneself to sleep against a door was not really considered rest. So, with a goodbye, she stood back up and slipped the cell phone back into her pocket. She stumbled to the bedroom, shrugged off her jacket with some effort, and stepped out of her shoes before climbing into the warm comfort of what she hoped would be a restful sleep.

She dreamed of him. She heard the single shot ringing in her ears, her partner lying on the ground helpless, and those eyes. His eyes. Eyes that had always been so playful, so flirtatious, and so full of life had so suddenly become full of pain. That steady gaze in those few moments would haunt her for the rest of her life. She didn't think he had ever held her gaze that long and intensely, even that one time, when he'd kissed her... It seemed like so long ago now, she realized, since a moment like that had happened when in fact, they'd shared one only a few seconds before a good day had turned into a nightmare. Her subconscious took her back to that moment. The cocky, slightly flirtatious smile he always seemed to use in an attempt to get his way flashed through her mind, only this time there wasn't a gunman in the shadows. She dreamed that he took her to the Old Haunt and they had shared that celebratory drink, as promised. Then another. And another. An unnoticed invasion of personal space. His breath warm against her ear. A kiss. His lips were soft and tender against hers, asking for more, just like that night not so long ago, but before the kiss could become more heated, she woke to her lonely bedroom, once again faced with the reality that Richard Castle was fighting for his life.

Despite the sobering truth of the real world, she still ached for more of the dream. Even as she tried to picture it, however, nothing she conjured could compare to the only real intimacy they'd ever shared. She opened her eyes, looked at the clock, and let out an exasperated breath. Resigned to the fact that three hours of sleep would have to be good enough, Kate rose from her position carefully. A stab of pain from her shoulder elicited a small moan as the cracked bone made its existence known, as well as some other aching muscles from hitting the pavement so hard. She lay on the bed and let time pass, staring at the ceiling and wishing for the hundredth time that this existence was really the dream.

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