Dear Beth,

I've put a gold star at the top of this letter just for you. I hope that you appreciate that gold star because they are kind of my thing and I don't just give them to everyone but you are special – like me. So I guess you deserved one. So please accept that your first ever gold star came from me Rachel Berry – a gift from one star to another.

Since you were born I've thought about you a lot. Not in a creepy way but in a curious sort of way. You may only be weeks old but you already have so many things that I have only ever dreamed of. So much of who you are Beth Corcoran is who I dreamed of being.

I've spoken to Quinn about this probably a lot more than I needed to. When she suggested this little project I was so unsure of whether I could even write you a letter. I wasn't sure that it was right or even that Shelby would allow me to. Or more precisely that Shelby would ever let you read it. But as I thought more about it the more I realised I couldn't not write to you. But I needed to know how much Quinn was going to tell you – and as it turns out not much. I'm not sure it's my place to tell you either but somehow I don't really see how I can write this without saying it either.

I hope that you already know this. I hope that what I tell you is not a shock. I hope that you are accepting. Little Beth I am your big sister.

I wonder as you read this whether you are sad that you were denied having access to your big sister. Would you have enjoyed talking to me about your make-up and clothing? Would we have practiced routines together? We could have been a proper little act – Rachel and Beth. Of course my name would come first as I am the oldest but we would have had fun - me and you up on the stage singing and dancing together. I bet Shelby would have dressed us wonderfully and that our choreography would always have been right on the money and our vocals perfect.

Ok so I know it never would have happened really. I know that I wasn't what Shelby wanted at the time. I know that if Shelby had had me as a baby that she probably wouldn't have adopted you. But a girl can dream can't she?

It still hurts me y'know that Shelby didn't want me or at least not me as I am now. She wanted me to still be a baby – someone who was dependent on her and could be moulded in her image not someone who was grown up. But she was wrong about me not needing her. I think I need her now even more than I did when I was little. I think now I am older there are things I need that two dads (no matter how wonderful they are) can't quite manage. So when I found Shelby I thought everything was going right for me for once. I thought everything was coming right for me, for once.

I was crushed. I just didn't really imagine that anything was going to go wrong. It hurt too when I realised she was adopting you. It felt almost as if she were replacing me and I guess in a way she was but I don't really hold it against you Beth. I just wish that maybe she could have had room for both of us.

I hope that you are able to fulfil all of Shelby's hopes for you and that you are able to make her happy. Maybe one day you'll be the one to bring us all together. Your connection to me as both a big sister and as a friend of your birth mom. Maybe you'll be the little thread of star dust weaving two stars together in to a family.

I hope that you never feel the disappointment I've felt. I'd had to think of you as being unhappy in life and I know Quinn would hate that too. It's strange me and Quinn are so different and yet we both have this super strong connection to you. I hope she doesn't feel I am stepping on her toes in any way with the way I talk of you sometimes.

I hope one day you get to sing on a stage and enjoy it just as much as I do. I don't doubt you have star potential. How could you not? But I hope you use it. I'm sure you'll love the feeling on an audience captivated by you and hanging on every note you sing. There's absolutely no feeling like it. There will be those who try to deny your potential and talent but learn to ignore them Beth. I doubt they would know what talent was if it hit them in the face with a slushee (something I hope you don't experience either).

There's so much I think I want to say to you but I don't think now is the time. Maybe Quinn will let me include more than one letter or I can send me own letter later.

Remember to sing out loud because you never know who might be listening (ready to snap you up)

Love

Rachel Berry