I've lost count of how many uncharitable thoughts have passed through my head over the years in relation to Amy Gardner. I've always been a bit scared that deep down somewhere I envied her, envied what she'd done with her life, Brown and Yale, Emily's List, the WLC, envied her absolute confidence and belief in herself. There's something to be admired about committing yourself to a goal and pursuing that with everything you've got. Then of course I remember she's Amy Gardner and she's treated me with two-faced saccharine niceness since the day and hour we met. I saw her come into the transition offices earlier I'm trying to finish up a few things as I've got an appointment with Helen Santos in just over an hour and she breezed past my desk heading for the meeting room.

"Donna"

"Amy"

"How lovely to see you"

"You too"

"How do you like being in the thick of it?"

"Just fine"

"I was impressed with what you did, you backed the wrong horse and I never thought you'd walk out on Josh but hey you got yourself out there – I owe you kudos for that Donna really from secretary to press secretary in a year…"

"From Senior Assistant to Assistant Spokesperson"

"Can't believe you stuck it out with Josh for so long, I always knew you were better than an admin girl"

"Some people pay for a master class in politics Amy, I got mine at the coal face"

"Pity Josh can't use a computer I'm sure he's love to do you a diploma for your wall. So what corner of the west wing has he marked out for you?"

"We're in the middle of transition Amy, there's a cabinet to fill…"

"He hasn't spoke to you has he?"

"I'm sure he'll get to it… Lou, Edie, Lester we're all…"

"I'll give you this Donna you've more patience with him than I do. But then again you always did get him"

"I…"

"You never did answer me you know?"

"I'm sorry Amy, did you ask me a question? I'm trying to get through these pape…"

"I asked you if you were in love with Josh"

"Did you? I thought I would have heard that one"

"You think you're so smart don't you Donna?"

"As you pointed out Amy on my first day there would have been very little point in sabotaging the nails in my wall"

"Do you know how pathetic people thought you were? Trailing after your boss, he would never even look at you"

"Oh he looked"

"What?"

"Tell me Amy what annoyed you more the fact that I would never compete with you or the fact that if I had you couldn't compete?"

"What the hell?"

"Amy from what I hear you've been offered Legislative Director, I'm not interested in that position, we don't have to compete for it"

"It's way out of your league… Secretaries shouldn't get above their station"

"And what station would that be?"

"Mrs Santos!"

"Mrs Santos, This is Amy Gardner, she'll be joining Senior Staff"

"Ms Gardner"

"It's a honour M'am. I just…"

"My husband has mentioned you before. Donna, is he in? I want a few minutes with him before we meet"

"I believe he's with Barry Goodwin Mrs Santos, I'll check"

"So what is the station of a secretary?"

"Mrs Santos, Donna and I go back a long way, you came in on the end of a pair of friends catching up"

"Really, it didn't sound all that friendly"

"With due respect M'am, friendly is different inside the Beltway"

"So I'm discovering"

"You'll get used to it"

"With due respect Ms Gardner, I don't think I will"

"Mrs Santos whatever Donna has said…"

"I don't think Donna has ever mentioned you"

"Whatever Donna has said, we go back a long way, it's natural for her to be bitter I got something she wanted and…"

"You got something she wanted?"

"Yes M'am"

"Do you still have it?"

"M'am?"

"Do you still have the something?"

"I'm not sure what you mean"

"Then you obviously don't"

"M'am?"

"The question that comes to my mind is does Donna? Have it now I mean. Because if she does it may signify that you never really got it in the first place"

"Mrs Santos I'm not sure what…"

"Oh Amy please, this is just a friendly conversation inside the Beltway, I'm sure you'll do a wonderful job for Matt. He's…"

"The President-elect will be free in a moment Mrs Santos if you want to wait in his office, Amy he asked me to show you to the main meeting room."

"I can find it"

"Donna, we'll meet back at the house in an hour"

"Yes Mrs Santos"

"You don't like Amy Gardner"

"Amy is excellent at her job; she's highly experienced and dedicated to her cause"

"But you don't like her"

"I've only ever had contact with her through Josh Mrs Santos, that's not enough to…"

"She and Josh were involved?"

"For a time"

"That explains a lot"

"Mrs Santos?"

"It's not important, I'll see you in an hour"

I go back to the growing pile of files on the corner of my desk, take the first one from the top and begin sorting the clippings. Our corner of the OEOB is heaving, there's people everywhere and the noise in this room would drive a sane person crazy. The sound of my desk phone adds to the overall commotion.

"Donna Moss"

"Where's Josh?"

"Good Morning to you too C.J."

"Where is he Donna?"

"California"

"What the hell is he doing in California?"

"C.J. is something wrong?"

"He's in California?"

"Josh is in California, I'm in the OEOB, you're in the west wing and you're screaming down the phone at someone who cooked you a very nice lasagne last night"

"I'm screaming down the phone at someone who bought a very nice lasagne from Alessandro's last night"

"Doesn't change the fact you're screaming"

"No, it doesn't"

"There was a time when I'd just roll my eyes and ask what the idiot boy had done. But he hasn't had the time to do anything idiotic in the last week so I'm assuming you're just having a hissy fit on principle and are looking for someone to take it out on"

"You could be right"

"I am right"

"No one stands up to me anymore"

"That's what friends are for Claudia Jean"

"What are 'friends'?"

"Well gee thanks"

"I'm sorry Donna, I'm having a day"

"Welcome to the club, did your day involve Amy Gardner?"

"No"

"Then mine's worse"

"What did the poison dwarf want?"

"She's not that short"

"Think about who you're talking to"

"Alright then – to congratulate me on leaving the White House"

"Oh god I'm Amy Gardner"

"C.J. you are not now, nor will you ever be Amy Gardner"

"I told you…"

"And I did it… we're both guilty of a touch of the Amy's but there's one major difference"

"What's that?"

"We're warm blooded mammals, with beating hearts"

"You have a point mi armour"

"Listen C.J. I've been thinking, you haven't anything planned for this evening…"

"No…actually I was thinking I maybe wouldn't…"

"I won't be there…what?"

"What?"

"You first"

"No you"

"I might go visit a friend and stay there just to save getting a cab back"

"I was thinking the same thing…"

"Would your friend by any chance happen to be a red-headed former reporter?"

"Only if yours is a certain idiot boy"

"Pretty obvious huh?"

"After the night of Leo's funeral maybe slightly"

"You went to Danny's? when Josh stayed?"

"I thought I'd give him the bed I'll bet the $39.43 in my wallet he didn't use"

"No he didn't"

"Have you two…?"

"You want details?"

"Talked… I was going to say talked"

"No"

"O.K."

"I don't know how, I asked him if he was trying to convince me that I was the one who found this awkward and hard to navigate and he said no. But it is, it is me. As much as you're not going to believe me he's been the one who's been clear through all of this… since…you know. I've been all over the show…"

"Stop playing with him Donna, you're not Amy Gardner"

"Geez C.J. Kick a girl where it hurts"

"Sorry…just love him Donna, you've done it for god knows how many years"

"Yeah but I don't know how to be loved back"

"You do… you've been doing that for nearly that long too"

I finish my conversation, replace the handset onto the desk, put some files into my bags and head out of the office. I drop a file for Josh on Ronna's desk and cast a glance over a Otto juggling two files and what looks like a call list. I step out of the building and into the cold late November air. Maybe C.J.'s right…