Disclaimer: I certainly do not own Harry Potter. That belongs to J.K Rowling.
Hello! Your reviews to me are my muse! I love recieving them!
Of course some characters may seem OC in this story and that is because I am writing this for fun!
Enjoy!
Chapter Two
The Surprise, The Present and Beer
Harry was peacefully sleeping in his bed, it was the final night he'd be fifteen years old and tomorrow he'd be sixteen. He woke up to a tawny owl screeching and a light object dropped on his chest.
His eyes widened in horror when he saw the object.
"Oh no," breathed Harry seeing the Witchy Warts magazine in his hands.
He was quite ready to tear up the offending item but when he tried to rip up the pages he find they couldn't tear.
'Why? Why does fate try to torture me!' Harry inwardly screamed.
His cousin entered the room but when he saw the magazine in his hands he was ready to step out again until Harry said otherwise.
Dudley didn't talk very loud all he heard was "mumble...mumble...fag?"
"What?" Harry hissed snapping his head up.
"I said do you want a fag?" Dudley said a little more loudly offering one of his cigarettes in his hand.
"Ohh for a second there I thought you were...eh never mind," shrugged off Harry.
"Now Harry we need to talk," Dudley said seriously light up his cigarette.
"What?" Harry asked wondering what got his bigger cousin worried.
"Are you having...issues?" Dudley asked trying to find the right word.
The Boy Who Lived gave a confused look.
"I mean are you...you know...gay?"
"Listen if its about that time you walked in with the magazine, I wasn't...you know doing that to him! A friend sent it to me I had no idea what it was until I opened it," explained Harry.
Dudley slowly nodded "I'm not really sure I would care anyway but I was just wondering,"
The silence was between them was broken by a loud siren noise.
"What the hell?" cried Dudley covering his ears.
"Oh no!" Harry exclaimed realising where the noise was coming from.
"What the bloody hell is going on?" Vernon yelled storming into the room along with a grouchy looking Petunia.
The magazine on his bed started to expanded and shrink making small cracklings noises alot like a bag of popcorn.
Vernon Dursley could be barely heard muttering loudly and quickly "Kill it! Kill it! Kill it! Killit!Killit!killit!"
Harry stepped back from the strange item realising the popping sound was getting louder.
"Everyone get down!" he yelled running for cover.
The Dursleys all stepped back slowly as the magazine expanded ripping at the seams. Then it exploded like a firework.
They all covered themselves with their arms expecting to be hit with hot burning fire but instead lightly got hit with confetti.
Bits of papers floated towards each other across the room causing Petunia to shriek in horror and began to form large bold letters.
It read: "TIME'S UP"
This statement caused Petunia to faint and the rest of them going pale. But then they formed more letters.
"HARRY'S SIXTEEN! HE'S OFFICALLY OF AGE!"
A small tune of marching band music started to play while the pieces of shredded paper started to form back together.
Everyone was stunned, no had said anything or moved except for Aunt Petunia who occasionally twitched on the floor.
The Boy Who Lived shrank back against the wall as he watched his uncle's face turned purple with rage.
"BOY!" snarled Vernon grabbing Harry by the scruff of the neck
"What the bloody hell do you think your playing at? Waking us up that this god for saken hour because of your precious birthday!"
"Uncle Vernon I swear!"
"Dad it was me," Dudley interrupted helping his mother from the floor.
Harry and Vernon look dumbstruck.
"What?" breathed Vernon.
"I was trying surprise him for his birthday but I guess the delivery was more earlier than I expected," shrugged Dudley.
"But its magic!" hissed Petunia "How have you used magic?"
"I...got help from Harry's friends..." Dudley thought carefully thinking of a good lie.
"Aww my little boy is so sweet being nice to his freakish cousin!" Petunia suddenly cooed wrapping her arms around her son.
Vernon just grunted and wobbled back to bed.
"But next time please tell us when you have a surprise like that Duddy,"
Dudley nodded and his mother left the two boys to go back to bed.
"Did you really?-"
"No," answered Dudley.
"Who the hell sent that to me! It's kinda creepy!" Harry muttered edging towards the magazine.
"Kinda?" spluttered Dudley "Its really creepy,"
A piece of parchment slipped out of the magazine which read:
'Dear Harry,
Happy Birthday!
Hoped you like the Surprise!
Love from
Fred and George'
Dudley stepped away from Harry who looked absolutely livid.
"...THOSE...STUPID...FUCKING...PRATS!" he yelled ripping up the parchment.
The Boy Who Lived put the shreds in the bin and gripped the magazine in his hand.
"Dudley can I borrow your lighter?" asked Harry with a scary look on his face.
"...Um...sure..." Dudley answered slightly frightened to say no. He learned years ago not to fuck with an angry wizard.
Harry set the tip of the magazine alight and shoved it in the bin.
The offending dirty item burned slowly, the boys however stepped back a bit as shrieks and screams of pain* came from the burning item.
"WHAAAAAAA! GAHHHHHH!"
"That's disturbing..." muttered Dudley.
Harry nodded he certainly didn't expect it to shriek in pain, grabbing a glass of water and put the fire out.
"Mind telling me what all that was about?" Dudley asked looking confused.
"Well I found out I'm being stalked, having photographs taken of me and a bunch of crazy fans want to woo me," shuddered Harry.
"Damn, I'm glad I'm not a wizard," muttered Dudley.
Narcissa poked her head around Draco's bedroom door.
"Draco? What are you up to?"
The rustling of paper could be heard in the large room, Narcissa Malfoy caught her son trying to hide discretely (but failed) a gift he was wrapping.
"Ahhh finally sending Potter his present are you? C'mon let me see what you've got for him," cooed Narcissa edging closer.
"No," snapped Draco going red in the face.
"Why?" Narcissa asked confused but suddenly smiled in realisation "Is my Draco nervous of what Potter thinks of his gift?"
"N-no Malfoys are never nervous!" Draco declared.
"Nonsense dear, believe it or not Malfoys have feelings and are human too," Narcissa sniffed.
"But don't outright say it," Draco pressed.
"I'm your mother dear, I can read you like a book," his mother said with a scary look on her face.
The young Malfoy sighed and showed his mother his gift.
It was a silver ring with a emerald snake and a ruby lion on the top, it was obviously very expensive and it had Malfoy written all over it.
Underneath the ring however a message was written in Latin: Eternus Diligo*
"Aww Draco, that's such a sweet gift,"
"You think this will gain his affections?" Draco asked sincerely.
Narcissa put her hands on her hips.
"Its a start, but material possessions won't gain love, when you get to Hogwarts I want you to talk to him at least try and make an effort to be nicer dear,"
"Yes mother," sighed Draco.
Talking and trying to be nice wasn't exactly his strong points.
His mother kissed her son on his forehead.
"I'm sure he'd appreciate your efforts," smiled Narcissa walking out of the room.
Draco turned back to the hardships of wrapping up a birthday present, usually he'd get house-elves to do it but since he decided to be personal about it, he tried the job himself...but it bit more tricky than he first thought.
Lucius gracefully walked into the room and saw his son wrestling lime green wrapping paper over bits of red ribbon and a small ring, when his son was done he turned to look at his father.
His father frowned at the badly wrapped monstrosity that was filled with holes with ribbon poking out of them.
"God God son! That won't last through owl post!" exclaimed Lucius.
"It will! My wrapping is incredibly sturdy!" snapped Draco holding up his present but went red when the ring fell through one of the holes.
"You see? You send it with an owl and all Potter is getting is ripped up wrapping paper! You do know that the ribbon is supposed to go on the outside right?" smirked Lucius picking the ring up.
Draco snatched the ring back from his father's hand and tried to get back to fight the wrapping paper again until his father's put a hand on his shoulder.
"Use this son," Lucius sighed handing the young Malfoy a small black box.
'Right! I will succeed with this!' Draco thought stubbornly wrestling the lime green wrapping paper again clumsily cutting a square.
"When I'm done it shall be perfect!" exclaimed the young Malfoy.
Harry smiled gleefully as he received many presents from his friends and took no time into ripping off the paper of each of his presents.
He had received: An over-sized jumper from Molly Weasley, a rubber duck from Arthur Weasley 'Him and his ducks,', chocolate frogs from Ron, a pack of stink pellets from Fred and George 'Just you wait you two I will have my revenge!', a box of chocolates from Ginny 'Still not sure why she had that magazine though...', a book on Quidditch from Hermoine, and finally another book on how to handle dragons from Hagrid.
Dudley crashed into the room, "Oi Harry!"
The Boy Who Lived flinched as a box of cigarettes was chucked at him as well as a can of beer.
"Happy birthday," nodded Dudley.
Harry held the packet of cigarettes as if it was an alien life form.
"...But I don't smoke..."
"Well you won't have yet, you've turned sixteen now you can smoke all you want*!" claimed Dudley.
"...Maybe later," Harry nodded trying to be polite.
"Go on then, drink up!" urged Dudley pointing to the can of beer.
Harry hesitantly sipped the strange new beverage, he could at still appear to enjoy the present he recieved from his cousin, he was still at least trying to be on good terms.
'Oh god, tastes like rats piss!'thought Harry resisting the urge of a grimace.
"Thanks Dudley," Harry said forcing a smile.
"No problem," nodded Dudley looking through his cousins presents.
"Urm Dudley you might not want to open that," The Boy Who Lived try to warn his cousin as was about to open a chocolate frog.
"HOLY FUCK!"yelled Dudley as the chocolate frog burst from the packet.
"Oh great..." sighed Harry trying to grab it.
"IT'S ALIVE?" shrieked Dudley looking horrified as his cousin chased the chocolate treat around the room.
"Yeah," Harry nodded holding the struggling chocolate frog in his hands.
"AND YOU EAT THAT?"
"Yes like this," Harry showed Dudley an example by swallowing the frog whole.
The larger boy looked absolutely horrified.
"Damn..." muttered Dudley putting a hand to his mouth.*
"Would you like some chocolate?" Harry asked meekly, not really meaning to freak his cousin out.
"Does that move too?" the large boy asked suspiciously.
"No," Harry responded rolling his eyes.
He didn't need to ask Dudley twice as he immediately wolfed down half the box of chocolates.
'There goes the diet regime,' Harry thought watching his cousin greedily eat the pieces one by one.
Thats what happens when you deny Dudley sugar for so long.
Especially since he has a sweet tooth.
"Why-haven't-you-opened-that-present?" Dudley grunted through a mouthful of chocolate pointing to a small present next's to Hermione's gift.
"Oh I haven't noticed that one," Harry stated studying the badly wrapped present with ripped wrapping paper and a bow messily tied around it.
"That-thing-looks-a-wreck!" Dudley grunted.
The Boy Who Lived read the label which was surprisingly neatly written. It said:
'Dear Harry,
I hope you have a pleasant birthday,
Love from
D.M'
'D.M...I don't know anyone with the initials D and M that would send me a present,' Harry thought.
He opened the box to see a beautiful ring inside which was silver, it had a ruby lion and a emerald snake decorating the front.
"If you don't want it, can I pawn it?" Dudley boldly asked leaning his head over his cousin's shoulder.
"No," Harry muttered clutching the ring possessively to his chest.
"Ooooo I think you've got a special admirer!" Dudley teased grinning broadly putting his arm around his cousin's shoulder.
Harry's older cousin shoved the beer can in his hands.
"Come let us drink to us being single men while it lasts!" exclaimed Dudley holding up a whole packet of beers he brought with him.
"Oh God fine what's the worst that could happen?" Harry muttered gulping down the drink quickly.
Later that evening...
Dudley watched his cousin giggling like a maniac on the bed. He knew the reason his cousin got drunk so quickly was because he drank the beer too fast, had he drank it slower he might not have gotten this bad.
Either way Harry was going to have one hellof a headache tomorrow.
"Do yoush thinks this looks pretty one me!" Harry grinned holding up his hand where his birthday ring was glistening brightly.
"Yes...very nice..." muttered Dudley edging away from his intoxicated cousin.
"Aw thanks! I thinks you ish pretty too!" slurred Harry flopping back down on the bed.
"That's it," stated Dudley walking away.
"Waits! Where ish you going?" Harry asked desperately flinging his arms around Dudley's feet.
"Bed! Like you should be!" Dudley responded trying to shake his cousin off of him.
"But I don't wanna go to bed!" hiccuped Harry clinging on to Dudley's ankles.
"Its cause I'm ugly right? Its cause you find me freaky right!" cried Harry.
"God sake Harry don't turn into a whiny-"
"I'll HAVE you KNOW!" Harry stated shakily standing on his feet.
"I am PERFECTLY happy and wide awake! I don't need sleep!" The Boy Who Lived yelled just before collapsing on the floor.
His cousin blinked a few second before poking him with his foot to check he was still breathing.
"Yep still alive," Dudley stated when Harry started giggling and mumbled in his sleep.
"Good night Harry," his cousin said to his sleeping form as he switched of the lights.
Oh yes. The Boy Who Lived was definitely getting a headache tommorrow.
A/N: Yes. Poor Harry.
*1 I always wondered whether the books would scream or not if burned ever since I watched the first Harry Potter film in the cinema, you know the scene where Harry is in the Forbidden Section and he opened a book that screams at him. Also since the pictures move I always consider their books and written works alive.
*2 Eternally Yours in Latin.
*3 The law changed since then, it USED to be you were allowed to smoke and buy them at 16 in the 90's at least. Its only recently they changed the law over here that you have to be older to do so. Remember this is set in the 1990s.
*4 Thats my problem with Chocolate Frogs if they are designed to be alive then you'd have to eat them...alive. Which seems kinda of disturbing to me.
Oh and to answer the question: Am I going to turn Harry into a whiny emo?
No.
Forgive me if I sound like I'm ranting and I'm not I'm explaining.
I hate stereotypes, partically that one, so I won't set any of the characters as a stereotype either.
Yeah I may give him dark clothes sometimes.
But I'm certainly not going to make him go in the corner, cry, write dark poetry, complaining about how his life sucks.
I know plenty of people who consider themselves emos who are NOT like that at all. I think its rather silly people blame things like clothing and the type of music for people being depressed.
Either way this won't change the story.
Till Next Time
~Blazenix