A/N: This is one of those stories that I wrote not because I loved it but because it annoyed my mind too much until I wrote it just to get rid of it. As such, it is flawed, likely out-of-character, and mostly very stupid. Please proceed only if you have nothing else to read, hehe.
One might beg the question of why I bother posting it if I myself dislike the story so much, the answer is that I have learned in the past that sometimes even what I consider worthy of the trash bin might prove entertaining to some people. So here goes nothing!
"Hush, Louisa! You must not make a sound!" Caroline scolded when Louisa stepped inadvertently on her toes as they turned the corner together into the Netherfield guest wing.
The sisters leaned back against the wall, pausing to make sure they had not drawn any attention, while Louisa frowned in the dark. A candle would have been helpful for sneaking around in the middle of the night in an unfamiliar home, but light was the last thing they needed for the sort of activity Caroline had in mind.
"I still think it a terrible idea, Caroline," Louisa whispered as softly as she could.
Down another hallway, in the comforts of their well-lit, well-furnished room, Louisa's husband Marcus snored away. Oh, what she would give to be beside him rather than here with her sister!
"Louisa, do not play the coward with me now," Caroline seethed. It was almost as if Louisa could hear her sister baring fangs.
They used to be good friends, the two of them. Louisa had been born quite a few years before her siblings, and she had always wanted a sister despite society's general hopes for an heir. No one had been more delighted than little Louisa Bingley when their mother had Caroline. She had committed to spoiling her little sister - giving her everything she wanted in all their dressing up and games.
Tonight, Louisa almost regretted having spoiled Caroline so much.
"Mr. Darcy is an honorable man," Caroline whispered, as if she needed to remind Louisa of the very reason that this errand sat so ill with the older sister. "He will do the right thing and marry me."
"That, of course, is if he had compromised you," Louisa countered. They inched slowly down the hall towards Mr. Darcy's bedroom. Caroline's scheme had sounded utterly ridiculous in the light of day and outright sinister under the cover of night. "But we both know that not to be the case."
"We are staging a compromise. It would not be as if I am to actually bed him tonight."
Louisa winced at her sister's frankness. "All the more reason not to entrap him, Caro. Do you not think - would it not be better - what if he were to court you himself and offer marriage the proper way?"
Caroline's head whipped around, her eyes stern under the sliver of light that streamed from the hallway window. "If he did truly wish it, wouldn't he have done it a long time ago?"
Louisa faltered, her sense of honor fighting with her desire to protect her sister. Caroline had sworn this to be the only way to ensure her future happiness. And Louisa, after having been told the entire tale, had begrudgingly agreed.
And it seemed that no amount of reconsideration would sway Caroline.
"Your task is simple, Louisa," Caroline muttered under her breath. "We already know from the servants that Mr. Darcy sleeps mostly unclothed. You need only to assist me with my clothes and to lock the door after. We have discussed this all, have we not?"
Louisa felt herself close to tears.
"Louisa," Caroline warned.
"We discussed it - yes." Louisa trembled.
"My dear sister." Caroline turned fully when they finally reached Mr. Darcy's door. The completion of Caroline's plans were only a few steps away. She held Louisa by the hands. "I have told you everything. You know this to be the only way."
Louisa stifled her sniff, afraid to wake even the servants. "But Mr. Darcy - "
"Will do right by me - you know it."
"And Charles and Marcus - "
"Do you all not wish the best for me?"
Louisa almost gasped aloud. "How can you ask that, Caroline? I want nothing but what is best for you - regardless of your follies all these years."
"Good." Caroline did not seem the least bit fazed by her sister's indirect rebuke. "Then help me to fulfill this plan tonight. My happiness depends upon it."
Louisa wept the entire time, all the way until she returned to lie beside her own sleeping husband.
"And what is the meaning of this!" Bingley's voice thundered, abruptly pulling Darcy from the depths of his slumber into wakefulness. Darcy grimaced as he righted himself in bed. Bingley rarely rose before Darcy did, and Darcy wondered if he had fallen ill to still be abed when the Netherfield household already bustled so.
He heard the gasps and whispers before he fully claimed consciousness. Had Bingley brought the entire household into his room?
"Charles!" Miss Bingley chided her brother, her voice sounding eerily close. Darcy rubbed his eyes again to clear his vision.
"I - I hope you can explain this, Darce." Bingley's voice faltered, although it still sounded like it was laced with anger. Darcy dug the bottom of his palm into his eyes one last time and forced himself to full awareness.
He saw Bingley first - his young friend frowning and fretting under the frame of the open bedroom door. Beside Bingley, Hurst looked on with an expression that mingled confusion and concern. Then behind the men, Mrs. Hurst and a host of servants tittered.
Had some sort of natural catastrophe happened during the night?
Darcy observed his room for traces of fire, or perhaps evidence of some sort of criminal activity. He surveyed the peaceful fireplace, the windows, the walls, the door - and then his bed.
Then he froze, shocked still, at the sight of a woman - a naked woman clutching sheets to her body - ensconced beside him on his bed.
"What - " He jumped away from the bed, not caring for the moment that he was exposing half his body to every soul in Netherfield. He looked up at the face of the woman.
Then he nearly emptied his stomach at the sight of Caroline Bingley.
"Miss Bingley - what is the meaning of this?" Darcy echoed Bingley's question unintentionally.
He wracked his brain for memories of how he could have ended up in this predicament. He had two glasses of wine last night, and a few shots of whiskey afterwards. The melancholy over Georgiana's recent troubles had settled rather deeply the day before. His own confusion regarding how he felt towards Miss Elizabeth Bennet had also unsettled him.
But none of those memories could remotely explain the situation he found himself in this morning.
"I - I do not wish to challenge you, Darce." Bingley's voice trembled slightly as Darcy glanced at his friend. The temporary master of Netherfield looked close to tears, his bravery a front that clearly demanded his every effort.
"Nor - nor I," Darcy muttered.
How had he ended up in bed with Miss Bingley? He hardly remember speaking to her all night!
Darcy frowned, chasing for recollections he could not find. He had felt slightly fuzzy after his drinks. Certain memories seemed hazy. But he remembered returning to his room. He remembered completing his usual evening toilet. Had he met up with Miss Bingley afterwards?
His frowned hardened.
"You will marry her, shan't you, Darce?" Bingley's voice, to his credit, trembled only once or twice.
Would he marry Caroline Bingley? Darcy nearly retched at the idea. He had used to consider his best friend's sister as a possible mate. But recent interactions with her had only proven how little she cared for the good of others. How could he have fallen for her now, after knowing her character so?
"You said you would, Mr. Darcy," Miss Bingley spoke then, her voice cloying and saccharine. She clutched the sheets dramatically, having made no move to cover herself further.
The sight disgusted Darcy.
"You promised before we - before our activities that you would make an honest woman of me," she continued.
The servants gasped and tittered some more.
And Darcy felt all hopes for his future sinking down into the depths of the sea.
"Darcy?" It was Charles who said his name this time, a heartfelt, fearful question in his tone.
"I - " Darcy struggled to say it. He struggled to say anything at all.
"Surely you know, Mr. Darcy," Miss Bingley spoke more firmly now, "that you must marry me?"
Darcy glanced at Miss Bingley's face. Anger and determination simmered beneath her veneer of calm. Whatever he had done last night, whether or not he remembered it, had sealed his fate irretrievably.
"Darcy." Bingley drew himself up to full height then. "If you do not promise to marry my sister, then I shall have to - "
"May I be given a moment to make myself presentable?" Darcy asked, his patience thin. Bingley looked as if he wished to but dared not relent. "And then - may we discuss this in your study, Bingley?"
"Only if you promise - "
"I promise I shall do right by whomever I may have wronged."
His words seemed to pull aa sigh of relief from his friend.
"Very well," said Bingley. "I shall see you in a quarter of an hour."
He spun on his heels and finally left Darcy's room. Mrs. Hurst and a few other maids rushed forward to help Miss Bingley vacate the space as well.
And Darcy leaned against the window sill - and groaned.
A/N: Exciting opening! But no promises to successfully write myself out of this one!