Push

Part 2 of 3

I want to thank those who read Part 1 within a few hours of submission and replied with encouragement and posted their reviews. This community's support means a lot to me.

Allen Walker, Lenalee Lee, and all characters in the DGM Universe do not belong to me. I am merely borrowing them for a while to suit my purpose. If it wasn't clear before, I will reiterate that this is an Allen Walker X Lenalee Lee story.

I was going to start continuing on with my current DGM fic but this idea injected itself into my head as I sat down to type and I had to explore it. Sigh…I'm so bad with procrastination. Ilya Shkarov is someone I made up to propel this story along. I am not sure specifically where this is set in terms of the manga's time line and I think I'm okay with that. Let's just say sometime after the move to the new HQ.

The Black Order: Main Headquarters, London – Lounge

Lenalee took slow, deliberate steps. The idea of the lounge was a bit comical to her. It was a huge, expansive room but no one ever really lounged there, save Lavi, and only because he thought his room got stuffy to sleep in every now and again. Back at the old headquarters, it went unused for decades and she was sure it would be the same here. These days, people hardly had enough time to eat and sleep much less leisurely sit in that room and relax, letting time idly slip by. She certainly wasn't going to let any precious minutes be wasted…at least that's what she kept telling herself.

The last memory she had of being in the lounge was a vivid one. Outside, thunder and lightning assaulted the night skies that directly translated into the prickly uneasiness of her heart as she sat and waited for Allen to come out. Johnny kept her company, trying to reassure her that there was a good reason why Allen was hauled off and that he would be emerging any minute to explain everything to them. The next thing she knew, Allen was draping a blanket over her and Johnny. Mortified that she had fallen asleep and that Johnny was leaning into her, Lenalee tried to quickly recover from her stupor. When Allen asked her not to wake Johnny and sidled next to her, it was as if a bucket of cold water had been thrown in her face. Allen's countenance was one of incredulity, shock and something else...a calm weariness that reached all the way into his soul. Lenalee instantly knew that helping him might be beyond her capabilities. Something had happened that took him out of her reach and into a place she shouldn't follow. But it didn't mean she wouldn't.

As she entered the lounge, she saw Ilya sitting on the very couch she remembered last sitting with Allen; where they had fallen asleep leaning against each other, too exhausted mentally and physically to do anything but support each other in their slumber. Ilya was sitting with his hands folded in his lap, his posture ramrod straight, his visage was of one lost in thought. When he saw Lenalee, he stood and walked over to her quickly…and offered his arm. He withdrew it immediately upon noticing her confusion and the awkwardness that followed.

"I'm sorry, Lenalee, I did not mean to make you uncomfortable," he said.

"Oh, no, it's all right, I just….no one has ever done that before so I wasn't sure…." she stammered as she waved her hands in front of her, nervously.

"Old habits are hard to break, I am afraid. Please, sit down," said Ilya, as he gestured her over to the couch.

As she sat down, Lenalee's mind was filled with genuine bewilderment. Ilya seemed nice enough and was obviously a caring individual as demonstrated by his closeness to his family but he also did not seem the type to be so forthcoming. From what little her brother had told her about Ilya and her own review of his personal dossier, she surmised that he spoke only when necessary and mostly kept to himself. It was then that Lavi's theory invaded her thoughts. Suddenly, her hands became clammy.

"I know this is rather odd but I would not have asked you here if it was not important," Ilya began.

Lenalee tried to tell herself to calm down. She had no right to assume anything since she didn't know Ilya well at all and it wasn't fair to foist her own insecurities onto him. But she had never really purposefully been alone with a man before; a man she barely new anyway. Kanda was a childhood friend whose relationship was cultivated over a long period of time and tribulation. And it didn't take long for her to become comfortable with Lavi – for all of the distance and objectivity he was supposed to exert as the Bookman's heir, he couldn't help but extend his care and concern. His mind was that of a Bookman's but his heart lay vulnerable and was all too easily pierced.

Then there was Allen. Her affinity towards him was palpable from the moment she met him. It was apparent that he was searching for a place to belong and she wanted to make him feel at home and at ease immediately. It wasn't long after he arrived that she was able to see how much he was willing to give…almost as if he were throwing himself away. It was also not long after that she found herself wanting to do everything in her power to keep him from doing so. But unlike Kanda and Lavi, Allen was the only one with whom she felt both equally at ease and flustered around. Before she could delve any further into why that was, Ilya cleared his throat, compelling her to look at him.

"First of all, thank you, for welcoming me here so warmly. It has been a long time since last I was greeted with such bright eyes and lovely smile. It does this man good to see these things," he said, sincerely.

"Oh, you don't have to say things like that. It's just my duty as the assistant to the Supervisor," she replied, politely, unsure how to navigate these waters and slowly starting to realize that she might wreck against the rocks soon if she wasn't careful.

"It is this. When I look at your face, I think of such things that were once very real to me and brought immense joy and pleasure. You remind me of the only things that were beautiful to me…"

Lenalee began to blush furiously. She had no idea how to take such compliments and started panicking as to how to reply in turn. But he wasn't done yet.

"I wanted to ask you something. And I know it will be very awkward since I have only just met you. But this is something my heart wishes for so very much and there is little time, I do not wish to delay…"

As she looked upon Ilya, at his sincere and humble face, she realized that she had hardly ever considered other Exorcists as a male or female. She only saw them as her comrades, no matter their gender or age. It wasn't until Allen stepped through the Gate that first night when she had begun to feel a profound disparity between them. Suddenly, she became self-conscious and nervous but had no idea as to why. She held it together convincingly by enveloping herself in the comfort of routine in giving a tour to the newcomer. But when her brother had taken Allen to meet Hevlaska, Lenalee excused herself so she could be alone.

In her room, she had quietly sat down and ruminated on why she felt so shaken, tracing the unsettling feeling back to when she first laid eyes on the young man she had just met. His white hair was a shock but before she could even surmise as to why, she was met with a pair of grey eyes that were kind, bare, innocent, and deeply sad all at once. She tore herself away from staring at them, into them, lest she lose herself completely. Thankfully, Kanda's usual candor distracted Allen from her awkwardness and she gave some lame excuse as to why he was in such a foul mood. And so they had continued on. As the days passed, she expected the newness of the experience to wane and perhaps also her reaction to him. But each time she saw him, it was ever the same: this fierce need to be near him, to help him, and care for him. In fact, the feelings only grew stronger and more relentless as time passed.

But with time, she also learned to temper those feelings and content herself with being his good friend and nothing more. After getting to know him, she understood his kindness and strength knew no bounds and that he was meant for bigger, more important things than the trifling fancies of a young woman. It was Allen who truly ushered her into what it was to be a lady and it was Allen who would keep that intact with his thoughtful manners and respectful actions toward her.

But sometimes, she would catch herself slipping and once again get caught up in his sad, mercurial eyes. And sometimes, when he looked at her, she could swear that she felt him trying to mask something as well. The moment would pass in an instant, and they would be back to their usual, friendly rapport as he smiled that all-assuring smile.

Even as one-sided as she imagined it was, she could not and would not betray her feelings. Until she no longer had the strength or will, she knew that she wanted nothing else but to preserve the home he had built in her heart. There was no room for anyone else.

"…and so, I wanted to ask you, Lenalee…would you be my…." Ilya continued, hesitantly.

"Oh Ilya, the last thing I want to do is to hurt your feelings," interjected Lenalee. "I can tell you're a good man but I…I am in no position to…I can't be with anyone. I'm sorry."

"I do not understand," he replied. "You can't BE with anyone?"

"No, I can't. It's too hard to explain but, to put it simply, I have feelings for someone else," she said, deciding it was best to be honest with him.

He continued to look perplexed and he sat there in silence for a good long while.

Then, Lenalee noticed a slight pinkness in his cheeks, and he started to shake his head, covering his face with his large hands.

"What is it, Ilya? Are you all right?"

"Lenalee. I am sorry," he said finally, as his hands slowly lowered back down. "I must have given you the wrong idea. It is my fault since I did not explain it better than I could have. I apologize for misleading you."

"What do you mean?"

"What I wanted to ask you was, will you be my little sister?"

And now it was Lenalee's turn to be perplexed and it showed in her expression. Ilya took the opportunity to expound.

"You see…when I went back into the town to search for my grandmother, what I did not know was that akuma were then headed for the outskirts to finish off any settlers in the surrounding area, probably knowing that extended families were out there expanding the area. After I buried my grandmother's remains, I returned to the farm to find that it too had been destroyed and everyone in it. My mother. My father. My….my little sister…"

"Oh no…" was all Lenalee could say, putting her hands over his.

"My little sister was an angel to me; my delight. She was so loving and generous to me and our parents. She was growing up to be a beautiful young woman and I knew she would become a wonderful wife and mother some day. Any time she entered or left the room, I would run to her and escort her with her on my arm, much like a princess. She was too shy about it at first, but she soon giggled and slipped her arm through mine easily each time. I was so proud to be her brother and she doted on me more than I deserved. We were inseparable…except on that day when I ran into the city. When I came back, I had to prepare yet more graves."

He paused briefly as tears slowly fell, not bothering to wipe them away.

"But I am asking you this because I miss her so very much. And it is strange to ask such a thing. But you look so much like her and are about her age as well. And dare I say, you remind me of her in more ways than your appearance. Would you let me be a brother to you? Let me be there for you as I would have my own sister had she lived?"

Lenalee pressed her hands into his and squeezed gently. She was all at once relieved and esteemed and she knew what she could do for him at the very least.

"You may not know this but Supervisor Komui Lee is my brother, whom I love dearly," she said slowly.

"I…see," Ilya replied, looking down, trying to cover the incoming disappointment.

"But could I be so lucky as to have two wonderful brothers all to myself?" Lenalee said and smiled.

Ilya looked up; anticipation brimming in his eyes, unable to speak for fear of breaking the bubble of hope that was starting to form.

"I'd be honored to be your little sister, Ilya. Of course. I can't aspire to be remarkable as she must have been but I will do my best to be there for you as well, as I know she would have been."

"Thank you so much. So very much. I cannot tell you what this means to me."

"I do have one condition, however," said Lenalee with mock sternness.

"Anything."

"This must be kept between me and you as best as possible. My brother, as much as I adore him, can be a little…possessive," she said, emphasizing the last word.

"I think I can understand a little," Ilya said with a nod.

"Then I think it's time for you to meet him. Your scheduled briefing and assignment meeting is in about 20 minutes."

They both stood up and Lenalee was taken aback when Ilya offered her his arm as he bowed slightly. Unwittingly, she giggled with realization and softly slipped her arm through his. He nodded at her appreciatively and they both walked out of the lounge together toward Komui's office.

The Black Order: Main Headquarters, London

Allen had followed Lenalee out of the dining hall and stopped several paces outside the lounge, able to see them but not hear anything but mumbles. Uneasiness swept over him at finding himself invading the sanctity of privacy and he immediately tore himself away. As he walked back to the dining hall, his mind reeled with thoughts and scenarios that came unbidden. He found himself turning on his heels to go back to the lounge but then halted as he came closer to the room and to his senses. He paced back and forth like this countless times, talking himself into walking back to Lavi and telling him where to shove his theory but giving into the uncontrollable compulsion to walk straight back to the lounge.

Finally, he stopped pacing. Why was he acting so irrationally? He knew that Ilya meant no harm and Lenalee was not in danger of anything. But the thought of them together sent his heart plunging to the floor beneath and beyond. He covered his face with his hands and felt his head becoming feverish. He decided that he could not rest until he made sure that things were okay, whatever that meant. He turned on his heels one last time.

As he approached the lounge again, he was met with a sight that would become etched into his memory: Lenalee and Ilya walking away together, arm in arm.

TO BE CONTINUED

A/N: Well, dang, I THOUGHT this was gonna be a two-shot but I guess this story has one more chapter to be written. Just one more chapter, I promise. :D

Also, sorry for any spelling or grammatical errors. it's way late and I'd rather post this before I go to bed instead of reviewing it tomorrow and posting it. I'll check it over tomorrow and just correct stuff after I post it so that at least it's up.