Chapter 2: The Sorrow of Memories
Author's Notes: Thanks to all who are reading my story! I never knew I'd be liked so quickly! Anyways, sorry if I have gotten you confused, but the answers to all of your questions should be answered in this chapter.
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Carbon: Hey, good judgment:D Yup, that's Edward, and I've already fully figured out my character. Can't make a story without knowing the main one well, right?
By the way, how is the Lexicon, Carbon? I've been meaning to join the forums, but I'm not really allowed ((Long story, won't get into it)).
Dary: Will do! ;3
Arowl: Aw, thanks:3 Glad you like it! I'll try and keep you satisfied. :3
Here's the next chapter. I'm not really used to typing in first person since all of my major stories have been in third, so there may be a lot of switching from third person back to first, or at least of first person present switching to past tense… Hopefully I can learn how to type in proper first person soon. :P
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I looked over myself in the full body mirror, looking over each and every detail of myself. Precisely six feet in height and still only sixteen. My short, jet black hair was spiked back, light tan skin covering my tone body. I ran my fingers absent mindedly against the new scars on my arms as I thought over how I would go about explaining myself to the Cullens, lost in the unfamiliar blue eyes staring back at me through the mirror.
You realize that for this to work I'm going to have to put down the barrier…
My eyes widened slightly. I had forgotten all about the barrier. "No wonder I've been so cheery lately…"
Are you sure you can handle it? The voice asked me with concern.
I closed my eyes and sighed, trying to relax. "I have to…" I breathed in a few times, clenching and unclenching my fingers. "Alright…let down the barrier."
I tightened my hands into fists as a rush of painful emotions flooded my mind. All of my memories resurfaced with more force than ever, each and every detail running through my mind like some sort of horror movie. The pain was too great to take and I fell to the floor, my balance long gone. It wasn't until I felt someone shaking me that I realized I had passed out.
"Hey, kid…wake up…" a powerful, male voice tells me. I blink several times, trying to get my eyesight to focus. The very first thing my eyes see is the same guy who laughed at my joke not too long ago, the one who had the most muscle out of all of them. It takes me a few moments to get my thoughts back together.
"Oh man! I'm so sorry, for how long was I out?"
"Only a little while. After hearing you scream I decided to see what was up."
I blinked. I was screaming…?
He helped me stand back up and kept me steady as I regained my balance.
"You alright?" he asks me. I feel like his gaze is slowly burning a hole into me, making me blush. I look away, trying to get him to look away from me.
"Y-Yes… Thank you," I mutter.
"No problem," he says. Then he grins, a thought crossing his mind. "Follow me, alright?" he says, and then disappears. Moving normal speed, 'ey? I chuckle, following on his heels, without him hearing a step. As if I can't keep up…
"He okay?" Alice asks once we appear in the dining room, me right behind Emmett.
The bulky vampire nods and opens his mouth to say something, but I interrupt.
"Yes, I'm good. I thank you for your concern." I smile politely as the muscular vampire stares at me in awe. He takes his seat next to easily the most beautiful female vampire in the room, still staring at me.
I sit down on the seat all the way at the edge of the table, facing all of them. I feel my heart begin to beat faster as their gazes bore into me. I close my eyes once again, calming down. You need your regular eyes for this one. I nod. I breathe in and out slowly and the next time I open my eyes they're back to their usual deep black. None of them seem too surprised, but I feel their amazement radiating from their bodies. I keep my face solemn as I look towards Carlisle.
"Where would you like me to begin?" I ask him, folding my hands on the table.
"The beginning would do nicely, but before that, mind explaining to us just who and what you are?"
I nod, then look back towards all of them. "My name is Bastion. I may appear to you just as any normal human, like Bella," I glance towards her. She flinches slightly, but Edward tightens the hold he has on her hands, assuring her he's there. "Although, as you have already witnessed, or at least most of you, there is still much more to me. To put it simply, I am human…at least…half."
Carlisle raises an eyebrow. "Half?"
I nod again. I pause, allowing them to take this in, before continuing. "I never used to be this way. I was all human, once, just as all of you have been. I suppose for you to understand you would have to hear my story, but to save time, instead of telling you, I can show you."
I hesitate. "My story…it's…going to be difficult to admit… My only hope is that you don't judge me for what you're about to see…"
One of the vampires closest to me reaches out and holds my hand gently. Her face is heart shaped and warm. She gave me the feeling of a mother, caring for all children. "We promise. We ourselves have been judged, abused, and even worse by other people. We won't put you through that pain. If anything you would feel further accepted here."
I nod my head, a small smile on my face. "Thank you," I tell her. Then I turn to the rest of them. "Close your eyes, please."
Reluctantly, one by one they all close their eyes. I feel all of their mistrust as their eyes remain closed and I sigh. "I'm sorry. I know it must be hard for you to trust me, but I assure you, I mean no harm. I'm going to need you to relax and listen to what I tell you. I hope this won't be a problem." They don't respond, but I feel the air lighten. I close my own eyes. Alright, time to do your thing, I tell my voice. There was a rush of air under all of our feet for a few moments and then it disappeared as quickly as it came.
"You may open your eyes now."
All of them open their eyes, trying to take in just what where they were. "Do not fret," I tell them. "We are just inside my memories now. I felt this was easier than merely explaining everything to you and risk losing your interest."
I give them time to take in the surroundings. We were above what appeared to be a school cafeteria. Dozens of small children were talking away as they ate their lunch. "I was just like any normal child," I begin, my voice echoing as if we were in a long hall." The school I attended was a catholic one. My parents were strict believers of God, which affected me, of course. I believed, and still do, in a God, but I also believed in many other things as well."
The whole image seemed to shift, blurring around and then suddenly stopping next to a small, fat boy at the edge of the long table. He was sitting by himself, reading a book instead of eating his lunch like the rest of the kids.
I point to the boy. "That was me." I state. "I used to be obese, which explains why I'm sitting alone there. No one wanted to talk to a fat kid, especially since they had their own friends to be with, so for most of my school life I was alone. I pretended not to be bothered by it. I told myself that my parents would worry if they knew I had no friends, so I just never mentioned it to them, but it was one of the reasons why I dreaded school."
Bella points towards the book, "its lunchtime…shouldn't you be eating?"
I smile. "I finished my lunches quickly. Besides, books were kind of…an escape for me…"
The memories shift again, but this time it goes into a different place entirely. "This was my room," I state. There were books everywhere. In bookshelves, on desks, even some strewn across the floor or piled next to the walls. I was sitting on the bed, reading the same book I was reading during lunch, already almost finished with it. "I loved books… You could say I was kind of a bibliophile. Having no friends, I turned to books for relief, for understanding, for companionship… I read everywhere, at school, on bus rides, in the car, but mostly at home for you see, school wasn't the only place I had problems in." A loud slam echoed throughout the room. The jingling of keys could be heard as heavy footsteps walked down the hallway towards the room.
"Bastion," said a gruff voice. The figure's hair was black with many grey streaks. He was wearing a t-shirt, tie, blazer, and slacks.
"Yes, dad?" the mini me asked.
"Why don't you ever just go outside or do sports? It's always just reading with you…"
"I'm sorry, dad. I just don't want ---"
"It's not about what you want or don't want! Look at you, you're fat! You spend the entire day eating, sleeping, and reading! You have no life!!" my father yelled, his voice loud and ear blistering.
"…Sorry…" the younger me muttered before turning back to his book. My dad just sighed and walked away.
"Dad and I never got along too well," I began to explain. "Most of the times he was silent, but when he wasn't….he liked to say such things… You caught him on a good night… I won't show you the bad ones." I stopped in my explanation as the younger me began crying. He was still reading, his eyes focused on one page, completely silent except for the occasional sniffs and whimpers, wet tears streaming down his cold, plump face.
"Where's your mother?" the female vampire closest to me asked. I sighed. "She wasn't there that night… My parents worked very hard. Some days they slept over at the office, or just didn't sleep at all, just to get work done, so I was left to myself a lot."
"It went on like that for awhile," I continued. My memories blurred for a few moments before stopping. We were in the same room, but I was much bigger, and sleeping. "Two years later, I was fatter than ever. I barely even grew because of my weight suppressing my growth. I'd lost all hope of every becoming slim, making me have a lot of depression problems. This was a very significant night for me…as you'll soon see."
The younger version of me appeared to be sleeping, hugging a pillow tight to his chest. White streaks on his cheeks showed that he had been crying again. The room was dark and still for awhile…then a small, bright light appeared. It steadily grew larger and larger until it took on the silhouette of a human, lighting the entire room in the process. The younger me blinked, but didn't turn around. The being of light laid down on bed next to me and held me in what appeared to be it's arms. I was slowly lifted from the bed, hovering a few inches in mid-air.
"When this first happened to me, I thought it only a dream, nothing more, but… It just felt too real. The light was warm and protecting…and the arms felt safe. It was a feeling I rarely ever had, and I didn't want it to end…"
There was a sound that resonated throughout the room. It sounded like a voice, but it managed to match the melodic, powerful sound that the vampires had to theirs, except this one sounded much more soothing, like a song.
"I don't know how I knew, but from the moment it, …he, started talking to me, I knew it was an angel. He told me that he had been watching over me for a long time, that it shared my pain, suffered along with me, and told me he would always be there to help and protect me. As I've told you, I thought it was only a dream, but… Afterwards, I went through some major changes."
The memories blurred again, but I continued talking. "I started exercising, eating healthier, everything to make my body as healthy as possible. Of course, my hunger for books never really left me."
We stopped, again in my room, but it was sunny outside. I was reading as always, but I was much slimmer. "Of course, this was not enough for my parents. They expected more from me…much more. It was a lot to handle, balancing my training with my studies, and then music. It seemed like they piled on more and more. The only reason I was able to stand it was because I looked at it as a way of improving myself, but I was never truly happy.
"I spent a lot of time to myself out of the house. Sometimes it was just to walk and clear my head. They would mostly be at night. That's when I met…him…"
I felt my gaze falter slightly at the mention of him, but I had to focus. The memories shifted to a time at night. We were now at a park. I was sitting down on one of the benches lost in thought.
"I was about to return home from another night of unwinding. I wasn't expecting to see anyone, but life is all about the unexpected."
A dark figure walked out of the shadows from the trees. He had his hands in his pockets and was walking towards the younger me.
I looked up to meet his piercing gaze, his golden eyes burning into my own.
"Hello there," he said, his voice sensual and deep.
I looked around, certain that he couldn't be talking to me. "This seat taken?" he asks, pointing to the space on the bench next to mine. I try to say something, but nothing comes to mind, so I just scoot over and look down towards the ground.
"Kind of late for someone so young to be out, isn't it?" he asks me. I took in deep breaths, calming myself.
"Y-Yeah… I just…needed some breathing room, that's all…"
"I know the feeling," the man replied. Building up all the courage I had, I turned to face him again. His body was amazingly fit. All he was wearing was a pair of baggy, black jeans and a black tank top. His long, black hair was tied down into a pony tail. He was still staring at me.
I felt my face involuntarily flush, and I quickly looked away. He laughed.
"What's your name?" he asked me. Normally I knew better than to talk to a stranger, but there was something about this guy…
"Bastion," I muttered. He let out "Hmm".
"What a fitting name for someone so powerful," he said. I immediately looked back towards him. "Powerful?"
"Yes, incredibly powerful…" he purred. I felt like melting, my entire body surely red from all the blushing.
"…You don't believe me, do you?" he asked. I didn't answer.
He placed a strong hand onto my shoulder. I stiffened visibly, making him laugh. "No worries, you'll grow to trust me, but not tonight."
He stood up from the bench. I was almost sad to see him go. He noticed, giving me a grin that would be forever burned into my memory. "See you soon…Bastion." And like that he was gone.
"It was like that for many nights," I explained. "We talked a lot. Eventually he told me his name, Jason, and that he was a vampire. I wasn't really surprised. Someone like him was obviously not human. I had always had a strong feel and belief for the supernatural. Ghosts, vampires, you name it, so I wasn't really surprised by it. Our connection and relationship grew stronger, and soon it got to the point where he would hold me tenderly in his arms as we talked, or rest his head on my shoulder as I sat in his lap. It went beyond friendship.
"My parents were worried about me. They knew about my late night trips, they just didn't know about who I was with. Soon I got tired of hiding it from my parents, they had been so good to me, I thought they didn't deserve me to keep secrets from them. Apparently so did they. When I came back from another night with Jason, I found them awake, waiting for me in the living room. I wasted no time in explaining everything to them, from how I had depression problems to when I met Jason. I figured they would understand, they had to. They were my parents, my family, the ones who were supposed to be with you through everything…
"When I finished, I felt relief wash over me…but it didn't last long."
"You…WHAT?!" my father screamed. I jumped backwards. "A vampire!? What shit! You fell for that!? No…worse…you fell for a MAN!!"
My dad grabbed me by the neck, squeezing harshly, cutting off my air. I couldn't breathe, panic quickly coursing through my entire body. This wasn't how it was supposed to go…
He thrust open the door and threw me out. I landed onto the concrete pavement, my head colliding harshly against a metal pole.
"I will not have a fagot for a son! Never! You…piece of shit…"
I looked towards mom, my eyes only half open, unconscious-ness quickly taking over. She didn't do anything, just stayed behind my dad.
"You can forget about ever living in this house again. From this day forward, you are no longer my son. Now leave me and my wife alone…" my dad growled, before slamming the door in front of me. I felt tears sting my eyes and stream down my face. The only people I had ever called family was gone.
"Jason," I muttered, before oblivion completely took over me.
My memories stopped. We were brought back to the Cullen's house. Everyone was staring at me, but all I could do was think of that night, the pain evident on my face. "I never forgot the look my mom had," I muttered. "I knew my dad had a temper, but my mom…I always thought she truly cared about me… That day, she had nothing but disgust on her face… She had agreed with my father completely… Now I have no one."
Everyone was either looking down or at me. It looks like my memories had a big impact on all of them.
There was a long pause, but the vampire who was holding Bella soon broke the silence. "I'm sorry to hear about what happened to you, truly I am, but it still doesn't explain just what you are."
I looked up towards him. I opened my mouth to say something, but someone else interrupted me. It was Alice.
She glanced at everyone, and then settled her gaze on me. There was something frightening about the way she looked at me. "Guys," she stated. "…There's someone coming."
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I apologies for the many mistakes. I had a tromendously hard time writing this chapter! I spent hours just staring at the screen... and a good editor I do not make, heheh. :3 This is by far the longest chapter I have ever written. I know I promised to answer all questions here, but decided against the most important one for the next chapter. Don't worry, it won't be as confusing as this one. ;3