Soap Bubbles

by mickeylover303

Much ado about the kid with blond hair and blue eyes on the other side of the door to the house on the outskirts of Konohagakure. NarutoSasuke.

7. Chapter Seven

Thank you for reading and thank you to unique94chick, narusasu3194, Sour Queen, crazylelenumber1, xXMewzikLuverXx, Nivell, Chloroform Kisses, YoungSasuke, Samairi, SkywardShadow, Aiden86, SasukeUchihasGuardian, Izolda, and Megan Hales for reviewing.

...

Chapter Seven

There was nothing special about it. More of a faded grey rather than its original black colour, the heavily worn bag didn't cover the expanse of Sasuke's back like it seemed to when he was twelve. It wasn't so small that he could carry it comfortably in one hand, but, bearing in mind Sasuke didn't have a chance to replenish anything when he arrived in Kusagakure, the bag was a substantial size to carry everything he needed for the next week.

It was an already sparse selection Sasuke had narrowed even further, compelled to unpack and then repack. Again and again, he repeated the process and drowned himself in the motions, fastidious in the arrangement of the items he had placed on the desk and then placed back inside of the bag. It wasn't until several minutes later, when he noticed the slight trembling of his hands, that Sasuke was able to admit to himself how fruitless his attempt at distraction had been.

Naruto had watched him last night, silent but visibly hard pressed to swallow a retort at the unusually meticulous display, and it left Sasuke with a strange sense of anticipation that carried over into the next morning.

It was three, soon to be four, and while Sasuke had ignored Naruto's gaze then, he couldn't ignore his own misgivings about the symbolism of a bag that was far from worth mulling over. It may have been better than the alternative, but there was nothing particularly significant about the bag, nothing that justified how much Sasuke was allowing it to occupy his thoughts. Not in the way it sagged on the desk where he left it, propped against the wall and placed next to the dark green lamp more than twice its size. There wasn't anything spectacular about the areas of varied discolouration and the seams of the right strap that were beginning to show signs of fraying.

But despite obvious wear, the bag was still practical in the sense that Sasuke told himself he didn't need to replace it with another one. It held enough non-perishable food to last for a little over a week, maybe two weeks if circumstances called for it. Spare kunai and shuriken were beneath a hidden flap on the underside of the bag, above the small opening that held in place a small refillable bottle for water. There was a sealed white envelope, as well. Tsunade's calligraphy sprawled the front of the envelope, large characters in black ink unexpectedly neat and arranged in a vertical column that preceded the red seal of the Hokage, and inside was a folded piece of paper that affirmed Sasuke as a delegate of Konoha and permitted him to enter Kusagakure.

However, ultimately, Sasuke decided, that was all it held.

A bag couldn't carry elusive things like the myriad of memories Sasuke hadn't quite forgotten. Those decisions made once upon a time, they were ones that continued to leer at him and lingered like a shadow—swallowing whole any opportunity of personal redemption and bringing to the surface a struggle between moments of uncertainty and regret that was becoming increasingly more difficult to overcome.

It was a bag, not some projected manifestation of whatever emotional turmoil Sasuke was taking the trouble to ignore. He refused to contend with the idea that his past actions were the cause as to why he had spent what little hours sleeping in a bed that made him feel entirely too small and why Naruto had been so adamant about spending as much time away from Sasuke as he could.

Furthermore, Sasuke hadn't thought of much of the bag until recently. It was something brought to his attention a couple of months ago, on the day he and Naruto moved in together only because Naruto was a forgetful idiot and not a sentimental fool who couldn't let go of the box he'd made with Sasuke's name hastily scribbled on the top—the small one once kept in Naruto's old apartment, buried beneath a mound of clean clothes Naruto would stuff into his closet after doing laundry.

The cardboard box Naruto had dredged up weeks ago, when Sasuke was officially reinstated as a ninja, was the same box Hotaru had found while crawling under the bed, trying to hide from a Naruto bent on tickling Hotaru into submission. The thought almost brought a smile to his face, the sound of Hotaru's giggles echoed in Naruto's own laughter, the night before Hotaru…

Sasuke stepped out of the shower, tying a towel around his waist and placing a smaller one of top of his head. Suppressing a shudder at the feel of cool air hitting his skin, he walked across the hall into the bedroom, purposely averting his eyes away from the bag on the desk as he moved to get dressed.

There had been a kind of trepidation the moment he woke up, growing within him like a less than subtle nudge in the wrong direction. The act of putting on a shirt became stifling. Pants in a size normally loose around his frame were too confining. Pulling his arms through the sleeves of a newly issued vest was almost an act of forced resignation. But maybe, if Sasuke thought of himself as the type of person to consider such things, it was the nearly imperceptible weight of the scroll hidden in his right pocket—resting innocuously against his chest—that made him feel the most uncomfortable.

Taking a seat on the bed, Sasuke reached for the forehead protector lying on the nightstand. He let his fingers trace the smooth surface of the metal, watching them move on their own accord as if they were searching for the lines of an unseen fracture, running along the emblem at the centre of the plate.

This was what he'd been waiting for. This was what five years of ignominy and penance disguised as coerced introspection had accumulated to. This was his opportunity to obtain acceptance from Konoha, to receive readmission into the village that had both commended and condemned him.

But as conflicted as he had been when Tsunade placed the forehead protector in his hands, he couldn't be bothered to give a damn about it now.

Shoulders slumping, Sasuke glanced at the clock. It read a quarter after four, allowing a little more than an hour until he was supposed to meet Tsunade. He opted to leave for Kusagakure as soon as possible, a decision met with disagreement from Naruto, who had all but said he wanted Sasuke to do otherwise and at least postpone the mission for a day or two. While he both expected and appreciated Naruto's concern for his welfare, Sasuke didn't need someone to coddle him. Naruto may not have agreed with his way of coping, but Sasuke more than welcomed the chance to focus his mind elsewhere.

It wasn't as if Naruto was doing any better, either. He slept worse than Sasuke last night, not at all, and it was incredibly hypocritical of Naruto to criticise him for wanting to leave when Naruto was the one who had initially pushed Sasuke away. Whereas Sasuke managed some semblance of sleep, even if only for a few hours, Naruto couldn't even manage eye contact with him, much less manage to subject himself to being in the same room as Sasuke. Naruto was doing everything possible to keep himself awake and even more to avoid him.

Though, Sasuke didn't think Naruto somehow believed him to be at fault. More than likely, Naruto had setup himself up to take responsibility. He was resolved to fix the matter as much as Sasuke was endeavoured to dismiss the futility of it, far from able to overlook his own feelings of culpability. It placed them at an odd sort of impasse. Acknowledging Hotaru's disappearance and accepting the fact that Hotaru wasn't coming back were two different things, and each served in the wedge being gradually driven between them.

But as far as why he believed Hotaru wasn't coming back, Sasuke couldn't explain it. Prior to the six hours he had been unconscious yesterday, prior to when Naruto had found him in a near catatonic state, there was a considerable gap in his memory.

Yet, after regaining consciousness, Sasuke had instinctively known something was wrong. He vaguely recalled chasing after Hotaru in the dark, leaving Naruto in the bed without turning on the light, the distinct feeling of cold permeating his skin, the prickling sensation of grass beneath his bare feet—the slight, intermittent pain stemming from the bruise in the shape of small fingers that lingered on his left wrist. However, it was muddled. It was an obscure compilation of blurred and fragmented imagery. Making little sense, it was as if he were attempting to weave together remnants of various dreams, but it was the only thing Sasuke had only been certain of when he woke up in bed without either Hotaru or Naruto beside him.

He knew.

He didn't want to believe it, but somehow Sasuke knew.

He knew as well as he had recognised the shadowed figure in the corner, alarmingly quiet and sagging uncharacteristically in the chair taken from the desk, Kakashi, whose head turned slowly when Sasuke began to exert himself through the strenuous act sitting up had become. He simply sat there and watched as Sasuke fought against the palpitations that had ultimately wrenched him back down.

He knew before he saw Kakashi's face. Before he saw the misplaced sympathy, the kind of blatant concern Sasuke neither wanted nor needed that was all the more deplorable to receive from someone like his former mentor.

But Kakashi hadn't said a word when Sasuke eventually managed to remove himself from the bed and staggered across the floor. Kakashi's gaze remained shrewd, unwavering as Sasuke continued to make uneven strides toward the door. Each step had been more excruciating than the last, so much more than the first. But it was considerably less painful than the ominous feeling in his chest and the susceptible part of him that simply knew Hotaru was gone.

It was a cruel revelation, made crueller still since Sasuke couldn't find it within himself to question it.

Only as Sasuke reached the threshold did Kakashi find it within himself to speak. To say Naruto was already out there looking for Hotaru, that he wasn't searching alone, and in spite of his earlier certainty, Sasuke had clenched his teeth and grasped at the obstinate need to prove himself wrong. The words compelled him to run. Fuelled a surge of adrenaline and Sasuke was led to chase a demented sense of déjà vu that sent him sprinting out of the house.

But it was near the edge of the forest where he fell, and it was on his hands and knees, blades of grass lodged between fingers hollowing through the dirt, that Naruto found him.

Minutes had passed after he stumbled across a wide clearing, possibly only a few seconds before Sasuke heard someone call his name. His head whipped violently toward the direction of the voice, breath caught in his throat at the sight of blond hair in the distance, and for a fleeting moment Sasuke had allowed himself to think it was Hotaru.

The call of his name again, the abrupt and crushing familiarity of the person kneeling in front of him, and Sasuke couldn't help the overwhelming feeling of disappointment and guilt following the realisation that it was Naruto.

Fingers pressing hard into his shoulders, larger than the bruising wrapped around his wrist, Sasuke fought to push them away, but Naruto wouldn't let go. Naruto's grip became tighter and encompassing, frantic and desperate like the sound of his voice, and only then had Sasuke become aware that Naruto was yelling. Yelling at Sasuke for not staying in the house, yelling reasons why Kakashi shouldn't have let Sasuke come outside alone, yelling that Sasuke should stop being so reckless and stop trying to scare Naruto so much, yet Sasuke could only stare at him. He quieted Naruto with one look, posing a silent question that made Naruto falter in his tirade.

The hands had fallen from Sasuke's shoulders, Naruto pulling away from him reluctantly, and Sasuke let Naruto's lack of response wash over him.

A shadow fell over his eyes as Naruto turned his head away. He stood on wobbly legs and balled his hands into fists at his sides, pointedly making an effort not to look at Sasuke. But Sasuke couldn't look away from Naruto. He found it difficult to tear his eyes away. Immobile, he could only watch, struggling not to shatter a feigned mentality of indifference when Naruto's body began to tremble.

Because Naruto had been shaking in the same manner that Sasuke hadn't then, not unlike the way Sasuke's hand wasn't shaking as he reached for the bag lying on the desk. Because there wasn't a noticeable hesitation before Sasuke felt the strap slipping in between his fingers. Because disregarding the nearly indiscernible weight over his shoulder, it was easier for Sasuke to deem nothing special about the worn and faded bag that was no more than a means to an end.

...

Many, many years ago, in a village built near the fringes of a once grand forest, there lived a little boy named Setsu. He was a lonely child, shunned by his mother and father for being the son neither had desired and chastised by the majority of the village for believing in the stories of demons his grandmother would relay in his ear. As a result, Setsu would rarely engage in conversation with anyone other than his grandmother and was considered an outsider among the people in the village. However, Setsu was also a curious child, and it was his innate sense of curiosity that allowed him to seek refuge in his fascination with the demons of old lore. He relished in the vivid depictions of the creatures horrid and more devious than the mind was able to conceive, of the demons once called Oni that came to be long before the ways of shinobi and when little of the world was known.

But during a much simpler period, demons were not always so, his grandmother would say when she first began to share with Setsu accounts of her own childhood. They had been no more evil than humans were good. Although not completely harmless, demons were, at most, truly mischievous beings. Wandering since the beginning of time, they were ancient roamers of the land. Holding a steadfast and ever growing interest for the world around them, they were beings notoriously cunning and too proud to hold themselves culpable for their actions.

As Setsu was initially surprised to learn, demons had even walked peaceably amongst humans, and it was in their very village where the first relationship between demons and humans originated. The tale preceded the birth of his grandmother as well as her parents and grandparents before her.

It began during an era where demons were only known as the Oni. One day, Sankoku, a powerful Oni almost as old as time itself, stumbled across a small gathering on the outskirts of a magnificent forest. From a distance, the gathering appeared to be composed of Oni not dissimilar to Sankoku himself. Dark hair trailed the lengths of their backs, beneath which were long stretches of embroidered fabric intricately draped over pale bodies, halting above their ankles. They wore on their feet wooden sandals, clacking upon the ground as the creatures scurried near the edge of the forest, and making small indents in the soil. A bemused Sankoku noted, however, they bore no horns. Neither did they conceal their faces with masks as most Oni were wont to do to signify who they were. So intrigued was he by the emergence of these strange new inhabitants, Sankoku had been keen to meet them.

They introduced themselves as Ningen. Upon closer inspection, Sankoku had discovered them to be peculiar, small creatures with ashen skin and narrow faces gaunt as a consequence of malnourishment. At their tallest, they stood no higher than Sankoku's shoulder. They cowered at Sankoku's stature but were in turn held in awe by his presence. They pointed with grubby fingers at the sight of Sankoku's mask and to the three horns protruding from the top of Sankoku's head. Taking delight in the eagerness of these bright creatures, in the vulnerability in eyes filled with wonder, Sankoku enveloped them into his bosom as a mother would a young child distrustful of the world around him.

With Sankoku's influence, in time, the Oni and Ningen had come to live alike in harmony, sharing a land that flourished with life and offered plentiful bounty for many years to come. His grandmother spoke of these memories fondly, and Setsu listened in rapture to the imagery of the enormous trees from which sprouted large canopies of leaves that offered shelter to any wanderer seeking solace from the harsh rays of the sun, wholly unlike the now diminished forest that appeared far too aged and withered for having such grand trees that his grandmother said had been as lush and green as his mother's hair was thick and black.

Setsu loved to marvel at her description of the colourful assortment of fruits that remained ripe year round. Soft flesh spilling the sweetest of juices that dribbled down her chin, the image was far more pleasant than the dwindling supply of stale rice that did little to combat the onset of famine in the village. Water, too, was becoming scarce in the village, but Setsu preferred to indulge in his grandmother's flowing streams, share in her visions of water so clear she was able to see her reflection in it—water to play in freely, water to savour and drink that had not been sparsely collected from a drying well.

Yet, his grandmother would also recall her youth with resentment in her voice, not besieged by the smile she favoured to bestow upon Setsu. The time of prosperity she had experienced would later become overshadowed by a collective fear within the village.

A small group of villagers known as humans had grown distrustful of the Oni and segregated themselves from the beings that hid their true nature beneath their masks and their horns. They believed the Oni had long ruled the Ningen under the guise of trust, compelling the Ningen to submit to their perverse methods of the Oni by exploiting strange features that bore no other purpose than to frighten. In the beginning, few in the village gave notice to such nonsensical claims, but the seed of prejudice had already been sown and quickly took root. It spread like wildfire, brewing amid the villagers and severing their relationship with the Oni who had taught the Ningen the ways of world but so many years ago foreign to them.

The fear soon became all consuming, a terrifying hate incited by stories of horrendous deeds no Oni had done. But many of the Oni gradually withered into lowly creatures, beings bitter and malevolent that came to embody that which the humans despised. Thereafter, these Oni had become what the humans referred to as demons. Soon, the hostility between humans and demons became encompassing and nearly destroyed the village. In a final effort, armed with crude weapons of their own making, the humans drove the demons out, and the once proud and ancient clan of Oni had fled into the sanctuary of the neighbouring forest.

But the absence of demons had accomplished little in quelling the fear of the people. It continued to fester and was the subject of paranoia. The elders declared the forest forbidden, threatening to banish from the village those who entered. Any demon seen near or within the village was ordered to be killed on sight, as was anyone who was or rumoured to be associated with them. To even speak of the demons was an offense punishable by death.

Over time, knowledge of the demons that had once walked amongst the villagers lingered only in hushed tones and developed into myths delivered by hearsay. The truth hidden in forgotten lore, whispers of the existence of demons had merely become tales told at night to scare disobeying children who would not fall asleep.

The tale of the origins of his village was only one of many Setsu was able to recite by memory, one of his favourites to listen to, and a tale his grandmother loved to tell. However, one week before Setsu's twelfth birthday would be the last time he would hear of it from her. The following day, his grandmother took ill.

She was his father's grandmother, a wizened old woman who had seen far too many summers for Setsu to count.

"Her death will come slowly," the village healer said, "an appropriate torment to suffice for her being greedy with her many years of life." But at the healer's words, Setsu caught the impish gleam in his grandmother's eyes, beneath which lay a foreboding secret Setsu knew she would carry to her grave.

On the eve of Setsu's twelfth birthday, Setsu watched his grandmother clash with death. It was a vision burned into Setsu's mind, the scene of her gasping for precious air, each breath taking her closer to her passing, and in his distress, Setsu went to his parents for counsel.

"There is but one medicine which can save her," his mother said, "a yellow moss that grows on the trunks of the trees in the forest you are forbidden to enter. If you love your grandmother so, you shall tie a piece of cloth over your eyes and allow your father lead you into the forest."

On the day Setsu became one year older than eleven, Setsu set foot outside of the village with a tattered piece of fabric tied securely over his eyes as his father led him into the forest. When the cloth was removed, his father was gone, and in his place stood one of the Oni, a creature at least twice his height that Setsu had previously only envisioned from the stories of his grandmother.

A mask the colour of blood adorned the Oni's face, and three horns protruded from the top of his head. The horns were small, rimmed with gold and curled inward to form sharp points.

"Well met, young Ningen," the Oni said. Moving one hand behind his back and placing the other lightly on top of his abdomen, he gave a small bow to Setsu without breaking eye contact.

Remembering the warning his grandmother had instilled into him, Setsu carefully emulated the movement.

"Fear what the Oni can do, Setsu," his grandmother had said, "but do not fear the Oni themselves for they are quick to latch onto fears of others and will take advantage of this. They may take heed of your plight but expect no more. Their cunning is only bested by their inquisitive nature. When you cross paths with one of the Oni, make haste to show respect for they are well-versed of the conventions of tradition."

Setsu held the Oni's gaze as the Oni continued to appraise him with caution. "Well met, Sankoku of the Oni."

"How rare to chance upon one who recognises me." Sankoku lifted his head slowly and folded his arms within the sleeves of his garment. "I am honoured, but to satiate this old soul, tell me what ails you, he who is descended from those whom my kind once called friend. What brings you to the forest deemed forbidden to you many of your generations ago?"

"My name is Setsu, and I am lost within your illustrious forest. I live in the village near the outskirts of your home and humbly ask for your aid in returning. I came with my father seeking a remedy for my grandmother, yet my father is gone, and I do not know the path home."

"Is this all you truly seek, young Setsu?"

Setsu nodded. "No more."

"Such a simple request shall be swiftly granted. However, in turn, I insist upon a favour of you."

"And the favour you ask of me?"

"As of now, I have no intention of disclosing my request. It shall be only upon your successful return to the village that I make my claim."

Setsu weighed the ambiguous words with uncertainty. He knew declining such rare generosity would yield no immediate harm. He would be left to wander the maze of the forest of which he knew very little and perhaps with no likelihood of escape, yet Setsu's desire to cure his ailing grandmother prevailed over his resistance to trust in the Oni called Sankoku.

"For what you will have of me, I accept," Setsu said.

"Very well."

Sankoku removed his hands from his sleeves and slowly dislodged his mask. Black hair fell loosely over his shoulders as he exposed a smooth face with prominent features and dark blue eyes that held.

Sankoku extend the mask to Setsu, and Setsu gasped when it began to emit a white light. It disappeared from view and Sankoku's hand now held a small jar. A white cloth covered the top and was secured by a piece of string tied around the neck of the jar.

"If you are able to lure a firefly and contain it in this jar," Sankoku said, "it will permit you safe passage in my forest. However, only if you are able to preserve a firefly in this jar through the falling of the moon and the rising of the sun in seven days time, will this offering aid you in your return to your village."

His only hope in returning home through this demon, Setsu expressed his understanding with a nod of his head and accepted the jar from Sankoku with both hands.

"Naruto…?"

Not startled, Naruto covered a yawn with the side of his arm and turned at the sound of Sasuke's voice. It'd been a while since anyone had been able to sneak up on him, Sasuke included, and there were worse things Sasuke could do that more than made up for it. But those were the kinds of things he preferred not to think about.

Naruto leaned further against the armrest of the couch. From the corner of his eye, he caught Sasuke glancing to the empty mug on the coffee table, eyes wandering to the green notebook in Naruto's hand, and Naruto let out a sigh when he saw Sasuke stiffen by one of the armchairs.

"Sasuke…"

"What do you think you're doing?"

It wasn't as much of a question as it was a statement that heavily implied Naruto was doing something wrong, but Naruto couldn't bring himself to respond with more than a careless shrug of his shoulders. Spending however many hours reading Sasuke's notes on the scroll he wasn't supposed to read obviously had a lot to do with the increasing annoyance on Sasuke's face. And it wasn't like Naruto was trying to hide what he was doing, either. He didn't have the energy to do so when, after all the time he'd put into trying to make sense of the thing, he was left with more questions than he started with.

Against his better judgement, Naruto had tried to go over the actual scroll while Sasuke was sleeping. However, it was blank when he opened it. Some kind of preventive measure maybe, but he made the transition easily enough into the notes Sasuke had written that Sasuke had placed on top of the desk in their room, where Naruto couldn't help but notice it. They were the closest thing to the scroll he was going to get aside from asking Sasuke directly. Skimming over the obscure characters he didn't recognise Sasuke had written in the margins, Naruto could tell he wouldn't have been able to read the scroll anyway. But he figured having no permission to read the scroll didn't technically extend to staying away from reading anything related to what was on the scroll, which he believed was probably more complex than being a simple story about the boy named Setsu and the fireflies he was trying to catch so he could find his way home.

There was an underlying message Naruto hadn't quite caught that made it seem like he was reading a fable. Almost like one of those stories parents would tell their kids in order to teach them some lesson about life that would go over their heads until they were older. Naruto couldn't exactly relate when he was a kid, either, but he could remember hearing about stories like that from other kids and reading enough of them on his own in order to find out what they meant.

Except, although Setsu's story started off like one of those fables, the story didn't pick up after Setsu's fourth day in the forest. Sasuke had scribbled a few sentences about the scroll being unfinished and, not being able to translate any more of it, assumed Setsu never made his way out of the forest.

Because of how most of the more traditional fables he'd read ended, Naruto could see why Sasuke would think Setsu didn't find his way home. But without an ending, there wasn't a moral. Going by the way the story was presented, Naruto was sure it had to mean something, and the sooner Naruto was able to figure out what that meaning was, the sooner he'd have the answers he was looking for.

He wouldn't claim to be as sharp as Sasuke on some things, but the timing of Sasuke receiving the scroll, Hotaru's arrival and disappearance, and then Sasuke leaving for Kusagakure was too much of a coincidence in the span of one week for Naruto not to suspect there was some kind of connection. He'd put it off longer than he should have; Hotaru's ability to find the house in the first place was a warning sign that shouldn't have been forgotten. Like Iruka kept bringing up, maybe Naruto and Sasuke had been too eager to accept Hotaru at face value when they should have been concentrating on how Hotaru suddenly came into their lives. A lot of it had to do with Hotaru's uncanny likeness to them, the kid he and Sasuke would never have that made it easier to form an relationship, but stranger things had happened. So what was it, specifically, about Hotaru that made them both ready to overlook their initial concerns?

More importantly, why weren't he and Sasuke the only ones?

With that in mind, Sasuke had to have suspected something, too. Or at least Sasuke had to have thought something was out of place if it was the first conclusion Naruto came to after reading Sasuke's translation. If that was the case, it definitely placed some perspective on the secrecy surrounding the scroll Sasuke wasn't supposed to talk about or let anyone else read that, as far as Naruto knew, wasn't worth anything. It had some sentimental value, Naruto did take into account, a possession rightfully belonging to Kusagakure that Konoha was now returning in an attempt to repair the flimsy relationship existing between the two villages. The scroll was an informal gesture at most. More to the point, Naruto didn't think the elders of either village would have trusted Sasuke with the scroll by himself or at all if the scroll was more than the relic Sasuke told him it was.

In retrospect, whatever good that was, it was weird that Tsunade had even mentioned the scroll at all that day, especially since Sasuke would have told Naruto about it anyway. Like Naruto at the time, Tsunade had been unnerved by Hotaru and his comfortable interaction with Sasuke, but the uneasiness in her eyes was replaced with a cool indifference the moment Sasuke confirmed receiving the scroll from Kakashi the day before.

Naruto had been aware of the possibility of Sasuke being sent on a low-ranked assignment well ahead of time, before he even left for his own scouting mission, and it was, for lack of a better word, random that Tsunade would bring it up in front of Naruto when she should have been too preoccupied with the fact that a near carbon copy of Naruto was sitting on Sasuke's lap. It only seemed a little suspicious, though. Naruto was more transfixed by the idea of how he and Sasuke were supposed to deal with a kid who literally showed up on their doorstep. Tsunade's unexpected and almost impulsive willingness to allow Hotaru to be their responsibility was something Naruto really hadn't had a chance to put further consideration into then. And while hindsight did have its advantages, he couldn't escape the feeling that it was a case of being too little, too late.

"Well…" Naruto chewed on his bottom lip, mentally preparing himself for any kind of possible backlash from Sasuke. "What does it look like I'm doing?"

"How much did you read?"

"I couldn't sleep."

Gradually moving away from the chair, Sasuke began walking towards the couch, gaze still fixed on the notebook in Naruto's hand. He pulled on the bag slung over his back. It was the old bag Naruto wouldn't allow himself to throw out, the same one Sasuke had obsessed about yesterday: taking things out and putting them back in the bag, over and over again to the point where the scene played out like some twisted ritual Sasuke was using as a safeguard.

Sasuke's forehead protector hung somewhat loosely around his head, slightly crooked with one side almost falling over his left eye. He looked as drained as Naruto felt, possibly more so than he did when Naruto went into their room to check on him while Sasuke was sleeping. But being tired obviously didn't affect Sasuke's observation skills, and if there had been any chance of Naruto denying what he held in his hand, it was gone by the time Sasuke reached him.

"How much," Sasuke repeated slowly, "did you read?"

"Like I said, I couldn't sleep."

Sasuke gripped the strap of the bag, pulling it tightly against his shoulder. "I told you not to read it."

"Well, how could I not read it?" Flinging the notebook on the couch, Naruto stood, forcing Sasuke to take a couple of steps back. "It was right there, right there on the desk where you shouldn't have left it if you didn't want me to look at it."

"I shouldn't have to hide something like that."

"What difference does it make?"

"How can you—I trusted you not to read it."

"You told me I wasn't supposed to read the scroll. I didn't read the scroll. What's the problem?"

Sasuke tilted his head to the side, and any other time, Naruto would have laughed at the expression on Sasuke's face. "Are you serious?"

"I didn't," Naruto said tightly, "do anything wrong."

Even if the only difference between reading the scroll and reading the translation was a minor technicality, Naruto couldn't believe it was wrong when all he was trying to do was figure out how to make things right. Not after he'd been so close to losing Sasuke yesterday.

Sure, physically, Sasuke was fine now. Sakura had said it was exhaustion, nothing that a few hours of rest wouldn't fix and, later on that same day, apparently did. The loss of memory, Sakura couldn't say whether it was subconsciously induced or not. She chalked it up to stress induced sleepwalking, which she also said would be the cause of the unresponsive state Sasuke was in, but Naruto was convinced it was more than that. Sasuke had never had any problems with sleepwalking before, and, despite not being able to find anything significantly wrong with Sasuke, Sakura had looked hesitant to admit she thought Naruto's version of events sounded too farfetched to believe.

But it was like nothing happened. Sasuke hadn't shown signs of the symptoms he had when Naruto first found him in the forest—so…so still that Naruto wouldn't have known Sasuke was even breathing if he hadn't noticed how unbelievably slow Sasuke's chest had risen and fallen. He remembered all too well just sitting there, Sasuke's deadweight against him, and the panic that set in with the feeling of not being able to do anything.

To make things worse, Naruto had made a rookie mistake. He froze. For a moment he couldn't think, and although it wasn't long, it cost Naruto the time he couldn't have afforded to waste. In those few seconds, before the thought of using his shadow clones had even occurred to him, Naruto felt trapped—torn between choosing to look after Sasuke and leaving to look for Hotaru.

And it wasn't fair.

It made sense to think that if Naruto had found Sasuke, he would have found Hotaru, too, or at least somewhere nearby. But there had been no sign of Hotaru's chakra signature, and Sasuke's was fading too fast. However, even in his momentary state of panic, Naruto had made the subconscious decision to stay with Sasuke, losing the small window of opportunity that may have provided the leverage Naruto needed to find Hotaru. He'd taken Sasuke home because it was closer, because he'd been afraid of moving Sasuke at all, but it hadn't taken long for one of his clones to come back with a resolute Sakura in tow, Kakashi and Iruka arriving only a few minutes later.

He couldn't risk that, bear the thought of Sasuke leaving him again, leaving Naruto to deal with not only being unable to bring Sasuke back but with the more harsh reality of Sasuke not being alive. It was bad enough the second time he found Sasuke in the forest, six hours after Naruto reluctantly left Sasuke at the house with Kakashi, when he came across Sasuke kneeling on the floor of the same clearing and trying to make a repeat performance of scaring Naruto shitless.

Sasuke had been upset about Naruto's decision, of course, and Naruto hadn't expected anything less. At first, there was an eerie sense of calm, Sasuke watching him like he was waiting for Naruto to confirm something Sasuke already knew. Assuming Kakashi had told Sasuke about Hotaru missing, the sheer amount of compliance from Sasuke, for something Naruto hadn't even said, was enough to make Naruto waver. His anger at seeing Sasuke by himself in that place, seeing Sasuke wasn't safe at home where Kakashi said he'd look after him, was deflated by one look. One look was all it had taken to break Naruto's resolve and admit he'd been no closer to finding Hotaru in those first couple of hours than Sasuke had been in remembering what happened earlier that morning and how he ended up nearly unconscious in the woods.

In not so many words, Sasuke had all but blamed Naruto for not going after Hotaru, for wasting his time worrying about someone who had a better chance of taking care of himself than a kid, but Naruto had thought Sasuke was…

If his choice was a result of his own selfishness, then Naruto could handle shouldering the blame. The only problem was, even after the anger had left Sasuke's eyes, Naruto still couldn't help but feel like the bad guy.

He just didn't know whether to feel guilty about the fact he hadn't immediately left Sasuke and personally taken off to look for Hotaru or the fact that if he'd been in a position to do it all over again, he couldn't honestly say he would have done anything differently.

"You're not that dense." Sasuke gave a disbelieving scoff that turned into a derisive laugh. "I know you're not that dense, Naruto. There is absolutely no way you're that dense."

"Okay—fine, then. I don't care anymore." Naruto threw his hands into the air. "Take it back. Take the notebook with you just to make sure I won't touch it when you're gone. I couldn't read the damn scroll anyway."

"That's not the point. I told you—"

"I needed to look, all right. Ever since I got back, something's been going on, and I know it has to do with that scroll. You're probably in the middle of whatever's happening, but you won't tell me anything. Oh, I'm sorry, you can't tell me anything. And really, you expect me to what—sit here and act like everything's okay?"

Sasuke seemed taken back for a moment but was quick to recover. "Maybe you should."

"…what?"

"I already told you not go near it, and yet you did it anyway. What's in that scroll was none of your damn business."

"Don't you dare tell me it's none of my business. No matter how you feel about it, I'm part of this, too, because when something affects you, it sure as hell affects me. We agreed to do this together, Sasuke. Don't back out on me now. Don't think you can take the easy way out on this one."

"What part of me not having a choice do you not understand? It doesn't matter whether I wanted to tell you about it or not. And so help me, Naruto, if the fact that you even touched the scroll, much less read those notes, keeps me from—"

"And you think completing some D-ranked mission is more important than looking for Hotaru?" Naruto scoffed. "Yeah, like that's really going to improve your chances of winning any popularity contests."

Letting go of the strap in his hand, Sasuke let his arm fall to the side and closed his eyes. He looked like he wanted to say something, stuck between wanting to hit Naruto and walking away from the conversation altogether. He did neither and focused instead on regulating his breathing.

Apprehension in the pit of his stomach, Naruto was instantly reminded of yesterday morning. The unmistakable fear he had tried to put aside was coming back, but when Sasuke finally opened his eyes, Naruto released a noticeable sigh of relief.

"What do you want me to do?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto ran a hand through his hair, trying to get rid of the uncomfortable tension slowly creeping into his body. He vaguely wondered how Sasuke would respond if he asked Sasuke to stay, if Sasuke was simply waiting for Naruto to say it outright and if it would make a difference at all in Sasuke's final decision. Fully aware of Sasuke's expectant gaze, Naruto swallowed the lump in his throat. He wanted to believe he held that much influence over Sasuke but cursed himself for not being able to say the first thing that came to mind.

"I…I don't know."

"Whatever." There was something close to disappointment on Sasuke's face, something Naruto wasn't sure if he saw or not.

"Sasuke…"

"We can finish this when I get back." Sasuke made an attempt to leave, but Naruto grabbed his sleeve and pulled him back.

"Just listen to me, all right. It's obvious this is bothering you."

Sasuke pushed Naruto's hand away. "I didn't say anything was bothering me."

"I might not understand what the scroll has to do with the last few days, but it doesn't take a genius to recognise that Hotaru not being here is bothering you. You're not okay, Sasuke, but guess what—that's fine as long as you stop trying to pretend you are. Don't push yourself so hard just to cover it up. It's not like anybody is forcing you to go, and it wouldn't change how the people that matter saw you."

"And when have I ever cared about how other people see me?"

"You're right," Naruto agreed, a stubbornness in his voice that rivalled Sasuke's refusal to admit he wasn't coping with Hotaru's disappearance. "But it still wouldn't change how I saw you if you decided not to go. You can't think that I'd ever look down on you for something like this, Sasuke."

"Don't be so full of yourself. This isn't about that."

"Then explain to me what I don't understand."

Sasuke replied with a sharp look that didn't have the intended effect of making Naruto recoil. "Drop it."

"Can't you see how wrong all of this is?"

It was frustrating, so incredibly nerve-racking that he couldn't get why Sasuke was so fixated on the idea of Hotaru being gone for good, and Naruto was on the verge of ripping his hair out. He knew Sasuke cared. The look on Sasuke's face, the anxiety teetering too close to hopelessness that mirrored Naruto's own, said more than words ever could.

"It's only been a day. No, it's been less than that, and you're telling me you've given up already? Hotaru could still be out there somewhere, waiting for us to find him, and—"

"Shut up, Naruto," Sasuke snarled. "Just shut up and get over it because Hotaru isn't coming back." His eyes flashed for a moment, a hint of red seeping through black.

Naruto blinked, unconsciously retreating just a little at the unexpected change of colour in Sasuke's eyes. "How do you—"

"Because I can feel it. I don't—" Straining to find his voice, Sasuke turned away from Naruto. Taking a step back, he rubbed the palm of his hand against his forehead, and it was clear to Naruto that Sasuke was trying to refrain from displaying how agitated he really was. "Just—I can feel it, all right. Hotaru isn't coming back. And whatever stunt you think you're going to pull isn't going to make a difference."

Pausing, Sasuke took a deep breath and met Naruto's gaze. "So don't make it any worse than it already is."

"Why are you so against this?" Naruto whispered. "Why are you so convinced that we won't find Hotaru?"

"Why are you so convinced that you can even bring Hotaru back?"

"Because I—"

"Because you're clinging to an ideal of someone that was never real to begin with—Hotaru was never supposed to be here. None of this was supposed to happen."

"Then tell me how you know. Convince me, Sasuke. All I need is one reason, and I'll leave it alone."

"For the last time—"

"Forget about the scroll. Forget about whatever Tsunade and Kakashi said to you. Give me something I can work with—let me fix this. Please, I can—"

"There's nothing you can do, Naruto, and the sooner you learn to accept it, the sooner you can move on."

Gritting his teeth, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's left wrist, loosening his hold but not letting go when Sasuke didn't hide the slight wince on his face. Obviously, he wasn't doing a good job of getting through to Sasuke, but the way Sasuke was around Hotaru, the time the three of them spent together in spite of how short it was, how could it have been anything else but real?

"You can't tell me you're just going to pretend that none of this happened. That Hotaru being here didn't mean something to you. That what we had—"

"Stop putting words in my mouth."

"Like hell I am. You think this is dealing with it? I know you're better than this, but if you think running from the problem is going to make it go away, then you're nothing but a coward, Sasuke. You're pathetic if you're going to just give up like that."

"Look at yourself before you start throwing around baseless accusations. It's your inability to see past your own self-fulfilling ass that makes you the pathetic one. Not me."

"Well, if that makes me pathetic, then apparently I'm the only one who thinks Hotaru is worth fighting for."

There was a flicker of emotion in Sasuke's eyes, revealing a hurt Naruto realised he was the cause of, but it was quickly masked with a sneer.

Sasuke tore his wrist away from Naruto's hand, nearly making Naruto fall back on the couch, but Naruto could only stare, lost in some kind of stupor as he watched Sasuke walk away.

"Think what you want, Naruto."

"Wait, Sasuke…I didn't…"

Sasuke stopped in front of the door, his fingers hovering above the knob. Shoulders hunched, he hesitated before opening the door. Naruto thought he was going to turn around, but Sasuke only shook his head. "I don't have time for this."

The door closed behind Sasuke with a soft click, almost as quiet as the sorry Naruto didn't say, and maybe, Naruto wanted to think, the silence that followed wouldn't have been so deafening if Sasuke had slammed the door instead.

...

Stopping in front of Konoha's main entrance, Sasuke lifted his head to peer over the height of the gate. He blinked at the streaks of yellow and hues of red marring the sky, at the vibrant colours emerging against a pale blue backdrop. Light trickled through the gaps of the metal fence bordering the top of gate, offering a passing warmth faint on Sasuke's cheeks. It was still early, even by Konoha's standards, but the relative quiet felt out of place.

Naruto grunted beside him, wincing at the sun glaring in his direction, and placed a hand over his eyes in an attempt to shield them. He seemed content to wait, and Sasuke was content to prolong the inevitable separation, not entirely sure what he was waiting for. Naruto turned his face away from the sun and leaned against the trunk of a tree. There was a slight curl at the corner of the right side of Naruto's mouth, and he sent Sasuke a sideways glance, casually folding his arms behind his head.

It was easier to forget sometimes, for Sasuke to feel complacent behind the walls of the home he settled into with Naruto, into the life that was sheltered from the rest of the village, rather than feel detained by the large wooden doors on either side of him.

And right now, the apparent normalcy of the situation was staggering.

As if Sasuke had somehow mistaken the last seven days for a dream and he'd simply been drifting in the haze that remained. Whispers in the back of his mind of something so whimsical, Sasuke wanted to believe he'd imagined it instead. But Naruto had kept insisting the last seven days had in fact taken place and wouldn't stop rehashing the very thing Sasuke was trying to bury.

That argument had been short-lived. Sasuke didn't have the energy to argue a moot point and had readily conceded. He knew better than to take Naruto's words seriously, and as soon as he closed the door, there had been no doubt in Sasuke's mind that Naruto would follow him.

He'd heard Naruto's voice less than a minute later. It followed the sound of the door opening and then closing and resonated in the otherwise still atmosphere. When he heard Naruto call his name again, Sasuke took more deliberate steps. What little irritation Naruto had been able to incite was fleeting and left Sasuke to dwell on the increasing distance behind him as he waited for Naruto to catch up.

They'd fallen into a companionable silence, Naruto's mouth set in a firm line and his shoulder occasionally brushing against Sasuke's arm. The gesture was hardly subtle, but Sasuke didn't shy away from the unspoken apology Naruto didn't need to say.

It was a testament to how much closer they'd become, a far cry from the days when Sasuke fought against how increasingly reliant on Naruto he was becoming. The same could be said of Naruto, but that kind of co-dependency was precariously close to being one of the more unhealthy aspects of their relationship. On occasion, he did realise that he still took Naruto's persistence for granted, how far Naruto would actually go for him, and the unsettling feeling Sasuke had been carrying since he woke up was replaced with a burgeoning reluctance that almost made Sasuke wonder if he would have said yes if Naruto had asked him to stay.

But Tsunade had given him an ultimatum this morning: either Sasuke would leave for Kusagakure today or he would be forced to renounce the assignment, and his eligibility for future missions, regardless of ranking, would be indeterminately held in question.

Initially, he'd expected Tsunade to say no. He'd been mentally prepared to argue his capability to continue with the mission, and on some level, Sasuke was surprised when she had no objections despite being informed of the less than favourable state Naruto found him in yesterday. However, her lack of concern was brutal it its understatement and less tolerable than the outright refusal Sasuke had thought more likely.

Immediately, Naruto had been put on edge. He'd felt Naruto stiffen beside him, the consequences of an accumulating anger too plain on Naruto's face, but Sasuke had accepted with the added stipulations before Naruto had an opportunity to argue for more agreeable terms on Sasuke's behalf.

It wasn't a question of whether or not Sasuke wanted to go. He'd already made a commitment and fully intended to carry out the mission. Naturally, pride had been a deciding factor. Sasuke wouldn't deny that, but there had been something about Tsunade's demeanour that caught his attention. The way she spoke to him, more specifically, the words she used, it was almost as if she'd been pushing Sasuke to leave, and the look in her eyes reminded Sasuke of that same sureness in Kakashi's voice when he insinuated knowing about the ending of the story in the scroll Sasuke was delivering to Kusagakure.

But Sasuke had an ulterior motive, too, a personal obligation he owed to Hotaru. Especially during a time like this, he could be as single-minded as Naruto was relentless, and, contrary to what Naruto thought, Sasuke wasn't trying to take the easy way out.

The only way to find any semblance of understanding in what was going on was to go to the source. Sasuke needed to visit Kusagakure to learn what hadn't been divulged to him when he received the mission. As far as he could actually discern, the scroll was more than a circumstantial element in Hotaru's existence. Sasuke had nothing concrete to prove it, but Tsunade couldn't have possibly thought it was something he'd overlook. While he had his qualms about Tsunade because of his rigid relationship with her, Sasuke respected her as a person, particularly for her intelligence, and couldn't believe she would have assumed he'd be too engrossed with his newly derived status in lieu of neglecting something so blaringly obvious.

Moreover, if Kakashi's conspicuous behaviour over the past week was any indication, it was a waste of time for Sasuke to think he'd find any answers in Konoha. Kakashi had been supportive in the beginning, encouraging in some instances when it came to Sasuke and Naruto taking care of Hotaru despite Sasuke's aggravation with him, yet Kakashi had been oddly reserved yesterday. He'd given off an alarming impression of self-reproach, sustained by his reluctance to speak with Sasuke, and Sasuke took both as akin to an admission of guilt. Although how much Kakashi was involved, Sasuke wasn't sure.

No, taking the easy way out would entail blaming Naruto for not immediately going after Hotaru, for not forgetting about Sasuke altogether because Sasuke had been grappling with that daunting certainty, that part of him working to steadily convince himself that Hotaru wasn't coming back. He'd said it when Naruto had found him the second time, but the words had just as soon been retracted by the feebleness behind them. For Sasuke's benefit, it would have been far less problematic to hold Naruto at fault, easier than having to admit why he'd been so apprehensive about Naruto reading his notes on the scroll.

Selfishly, Sasuke didn't want Naruto to know. It was only a matter of time until Naruto picked up on it, and Sasuke wasn't surprised when Naruto had fallen victim to his own curiosity. Even before he walked in on Naruto going through his notebook, Sasuke expected Naruto to have already pieced together his own assumptions. Neither of them could escape the correlations between Hotaru and the scroll, with or without reading the story about Setsu.

But there was a marked distinction in Naruto associating Hotaru's arrival with the day after Sasuke received the scroll and Naruto drawing parallels between Hotaru and the story within the scroll. Naruto knowing threatened to negate the reality of Hotaru's existence, cemented the reason behind why Hotaru was gone, and yet hadn't been enough to deter Naruto from thinking he could bring Hotaru back.

Maybe there was some truth in Naruto's assertion that Sasuke was trying to run away, trying to distance himself from Naruto so he wouldn't give into the small part of him that wanted to believe Naruto could fix it. But it wasn't something Naruto could fix. Not this time because the more he saw Naruto, the harder it was becoming to see Hotaru in that face with features he knew so well, and Sasuke felt everything around him crashing at the increasing lack of familiarity.

"You're not even listening to me, are you?"

Sasuke turned slowly, taking his gaze away from the gate to look at Naruto. "Hm?"

Rolling his eyes, Naruto pushed himself away from the tree he'd been leaning against and walked toward Sasuke. "I guess I know how you feel now, huh?"

Sasuke nodded absently, grimacing when Naruto reached to straighten the forehead protector that didn't need to be adjusted. He motioned for Naruto leave it alone, making an attempt to push Naruto away, but Naruto swatted at his hand and left Sasuke to reconcile with Naruto being insufferable.

"You can't expect the thing to stay on if you don't tie it tight enough. Jeeze…" Naruto moved his hands behind Sasuke's head and redid the loose knot hidden in Sasuke's hair. Sasuke grunted at the feel of the forehead protector pressed more securely against his skin. "You'd think after all this time you'd be able to do something so simple on your own."

Taking a step back, Naruto tilted his head to the side. There was a quick upturn of his lips, a meagre imitation of the kind of smile accompanying whenever Naruto wanted to convey reassurance to Sasuke, but Sasuke was still able to find consolation in the implication behind it. "There."

"Now it's too tight."

"Which means it's less likely to fall off."

"You're an idiot if you think I'm going to lose a forehead protector, Naruto."

"Well, you've called me an idiot in the past, so…"

"I couldn't lose this one, anyway, not after you've had your way with it."

"Don't make something like that sound so perverted."

"And I'd like to think I'd notice missing the thing that's cutting off my blood circulation."

"Ha ha." Naruto tapped Sasuke's forehead protector. "Very funny."

Sasuke snorted. It was as funny as Naruto's voice wasn't dry, but Sasuke couldn't claim humour as a forte. The unintentional attempt to re-establish the relaxed atmosphere usually between them provided a transition into another elongated silence, and Sasuke released a long suffering sigh, trying to remember the last time he'd felt so inept around Naruto.

"It's nice outside today," Naruto said, digging the heel of his right sandal into the dirt.

Sasuke made a noncommittal noise in agreement. He was distracted by his focused awareness of what Naruto was doing and irked because he couldn't place why it struck him as something that stood out.

"Too bad we can't stay like this forever," Naruto mused. "But I can see both of us getting bored of it pretty fast."

Sasuke shrugged his shoulders, not intending to comment. When he was anxious, Naruto had a habit of rambling. He spoke for the sake of speaking to fill any quiet intervals in a conversation, but Sasuke was startled when he heard the abruptness in Naruto's voice and the subsequent, seemingly indiscriminate change in topic.

"I'm still going to look for Hotaru, you know," Naruto said firmly. "Even if that's all I'm able to do at this point, I promise you that much I can do. I don't care what you say because I know how you really feel about it—how we both feel about it, and I'm not giving up on something like this.

"Oh, yeah, and one more thing before you go, Sasuke." Brows furrowed, Naruto grabbed Sasuke's vest with both hands, two fingers from each hand digging into the front pockets. He snarled as he yanked Sasuke to his chest, not giving Sasuke a chance to react at the sudden movement.

Although he was caught by surprise, Sasuke didn't resist. Naruto wasn't trying to provoke him. It wasn't a matter of strength or having the upper hand, an opening to use fighting as a means to deal with any pent up frustrations. Without question, Naruto would have let go without any objection, and Sasuke would have taken control of the situation if necessary, but Sasuke saw it for what it was. It was Naruto testing Sasuke's personal boundaries, Naruto wanting to assert for himself that Sasuke was there in one of the least roundabout ways possible. Physicality meant that much more since Naruto was such a tactile person, and Sasuke couldn't bring himself to push Naruto away even if he wanted to.

Honestly, he didn't think he had many limitations left whenever Naruto was concerned, but, at the very least, he could allow this. Sasuke could do this for Naruto because Naruto was only asking for something tangible he could hold on to before Sasuke left.

It was a stilted moment between them, further encouraged by a palpable distance despite their proximity that Sasuke didn't want to think had anything to do with Hotaru's disappearance. Their bodies were almost flush, close enough for anyone else to perceive the positioning as clumsy and awkward, although too far apart for Sasuke to feel comfortable enough to relax against Naruto and return the gesture.

But this wasn't quite the initiation of a hug, a personal feat Sasuke didn't want to admit he could easily fall into in a place where people couldn't see them. This was Naruto gripping hard, disinclined to let go, and Sasuke was only marginally better at hiding the fact he didn't know what to do at this point, either.

"You better not try to run off because of this," Naruto murmured into Sasuke's ear. He said it teasingly, but the disheartening laugh that followed made his attempt to lighten the mood fall short. "Don't tempt me, Sasuke, or I'm going to hunt you down, do whatever it takes to beat your ass into the ground, and then drag you back home."

"Like I'd let you."

"You wouldn't have a choice. I'd bring you back," Naruto countered. "Again." He paused and, as an afterthought, said, "Kicking and screaming if I have to."

Shaking his head, Sasuke didn't make the effort to interrupt Naruto and amend his version of events. Those were different circumstances then. It was Kakashi who had dragged them both back to Konoha, completely omitting the kicking and screaming part as he and Naruto had been unconscious, but of course Naruto would purposely overlook the finer details in favour of making a statement.

"I'm serious, Sasuke." Naruto tugged on Sasuke's vest again. "Got that?"

Sasuke bit his lip, hoping to curb the unexpected and inane laughter beginning to build. It was an idle threat for the most part, but he knew well from experience there was an unspoken plea concealed within the casual tone of the words, the fear of Sasuke ever leaving Konoha again—leaving Naruto again—tinged by the slight waver of Naruto's voice. Likewise, for Sasuke, there was something equally terrifying about the sheer amount of confidence Naruto had in him, how devoted Naruto was to someone like him, and sometimes, even with all those years behind them, Sasuke still had difficultly coming to terms with it.

Stepping back, Naruto released his hold on Sasuke's pockets. He looked unsure of what to do with his hands and eventually decided to work on smoothing the wrinkles in the vest he'd muddled. His fingers drifted over Sasuke's arms and moved to brush imaginary flecks of dust off Sasuke's shoulder, shaking slightly until Naruto shoved his hands in his own pockets in an attempt to keep his fingers at bay.

Naruto feigned a cough. "So, um…yeah—you have everything you need, right?"

"I'm fine." But the words came out too breathy. It was like something was compressing his vocal chords, creating a taut and abrasive sound that made Sasuke's mouth feel dry.

"Good. That's…go—great." Naruto nodded slowly. "You know, it's weird that I forgot how hard something like this could be. Was it hard for you to—wait, don't answer that."

Naruto sighed and rubbed the back of his neck. "I really didn't want to say anything embarrassing, but I guess it's too late for that now."

"Naruto, I…"

"Don't, okay," Naruto whispered. "You don't have to say anything because…"

"…yeah, okay."

"Besides, one more week won't hurt, right?" Naruto offered another one of those paltry smiles, although it wasn't as reassuring as Sasuke wanted to be despite being the same kind of smile Naruto had offered earlier, having the same effect on him now that it did then, and Sasuke used the circular reasoning to walk away from it.

He felt Naruto's eyes boring into his back as he kept his gaze forward, the goodbye left unsaid lingering between them, but Sasuke wouldn't let himself look back until he was sure that when he did, Naruto would be out of sight.

...

Sakura set her mug on the table gently, barely making a sound as she peered at Naruto. Her tea was probably cold by now, and Naruto absently watched her face scrunch. She couldn't hold back her disgust after forcing herself to swallow the remainder of the supposedly peach flavoured herbal tea in her mouth.

Aside from Sasuke, Sakura was the only person Naruto knew who would voluntary drink the stuff. Sakura claimed it was an acquired taste she could only stomach once in a while, but Sasuke actually admitted to enjoying it.

It almost made Naruto hurl when Sasuke first suggested he try it, something about having a calming effect that did wonders for Sasuke yet evidently did nothing for Naruto or anyone else with taste buds. Normally, Naruto didn't mind drinking tea, but this one made his insides twist in some unnatural way. The smell alone was off-putting, never mind the taste, which Naruto discovered was ridiculously bitter even after steeping for only a few minutes. Dumping copious amounts of sugar didn't help the tea go down easier, either. At the time, Naruto had honestly thought Sasuke was not so unintentionally trying to poison him because Sasuke was an undeclared passive-aggressive bastard who couldn't just say whatever it was Naruto did that made him upset.

Then again, Naruto was on his sixth cup in two days.

"You know," Sakura began softly, "Sasuke's not going to have any tea left when he comes back if you continue like this."

Naruto snorted. Sasuke bought enough of the tea to last for months if not years, probably more than enough to supply everyone in Konoha with a couple of bags. "Yeah, right. He pretty much lives off it."

"Well, I'm just saying." Sakura shifted awkwardly in the chair, fidgeting at the lag in the conversation, and Naruto tried not to think of how long it'd been since she'd cornered him in his own kitchen.

He sat on the side of the table furthest away from the door. A tactical move on her part, Sakura was sitting across from him and intentionally blocking his view of the only way out. Not that she needed to. Sakura may have come over under the impression that she was only concerned about his wellbeing, making Naruto grateful he wouldn't be alone while dealing with thoughts of Sasuke and Hotaru, but Naruto couldn't shake the feeling she was overseeing his temporary house arrest at the same time.

Right before he and Sasuke left Tsunade's office, Tsunade told Sasuke to wait outside. Keeping Naruto from following, she tugged on his sleeve and closed the door as soon as Sasuke was in the hall.

Not letting Naruto get a word in, Tsunade had gone straight to the point, punctuating the seriousness of the soon to be one-sided discussion with an edge to her voice that gave Naruto no choice but to listen. Her eyes narrowed dangerously, but he held her gaze as she made it more than clear that Naruto was under no terms allowed to leave Konoha until tomorrow.

There was an onslaught of questions in his mind, too many for Naruto to wade through all at once but each leading him to the assumption it had something to do with why Tsunade seemed so eager to get Sasuke to leave for Kusagakure. But she'd hissed his name in warning, and any mention of the questions he wanted to demand her to answer died before it left Naruto's lips. Her face had been too close, the scent of the flowery perfume she sometimes wore too strong, and he sneered instead, inwardly bristling and ignoring the fingers pressing into his skin. They wrapped around his arm, squeezing painfully, and Naruto took the hint to be quiet.

She'd given him some half-assed explanation. About her concern for Naruto not being in the right state of mind, not wanting him to risk running himself into the ground for a hapless cause—Naruto couldn't remember exactly what she said. He couldn't have cared less at the time because it would have been better if she hadn't said anything at all. It was the fact that Tsunade, who had more or less encouraged Naruto and Sasuke to take Hotaru in, could dismiss Hotaru's disappearance so easily, completely ignoring how much of an impact it was having on them, that stayed with Naruto. It provoked an anger he hadn't been able to will down since she'd shoved him out of her office and nearly made him bump into Shizune on his way out the door.

Fumbling over his steps, Naruto had given a hasty apology, and Shizune bowed her head politely. She clutched the folder she was carrying, carelessly rearranging the loosened papers sticking out of it while she'd stared at Naruto and Sasuke with uncertainty. The brief hesitation was traded for a wavering smile when Tsunade called her name, but Shizune's gaze remained on Sasuke a little longer before she bowed her head again and made her way into Tsunade's office.

The exchange had been quick, as sudden as the few seconds it seemed Naruto spent alone with Tsunade in her office, and was just as strange as the warning Tsunade had given him.

Shizune got along with most of the people in the village. Sasuke was no exception. She had that kind of personality, but it didn't explain her uncharacteristic nervousness when she saw them, especially in the way she had looked at Sasuke.

Naruto had pushed it aside then, hoping to distract Sasuke from thinking anything was wrong. Not sure if he wanted to tell Sasuke about his encounter with Tsunade just yet, Naruto made an attempt at a grin, masking both his anger and confusion with a weak joke about Tsunade and her various mood swings that was anything but funny.

Sasuke looked far from being convinced, but he had seemed as willing to ignore the sudden tension between them as much as Naruto was willing not to bring up what had happened with Tsunade. A sharp expression on his face, Sasuke began walking away. Naruto followed him down the hall with a relief that instantly began to fade the moment he watched Sasuke's retreating figure disappear from view, and the momentary ease he had felt was gone by the time Naruto ran into Sakura on the way home.

If Tsunade was trying to intimidate him, it hadn't worked. Naruto knew better to take her threat about him not leaving the village lightly, but, if anything, it only served to confirm the suspicions he already had about her. And with Shizune's reaction to seeing Sasuke, something told Naruto Tsunade wasn't alone in holding some kind of accountability.

The whole thing didn't make sense. It shouldn't have made a difference whether Naruto left to look for Hotaru today or tomorrow. Still, Tsunade had been firm, and the only thing that had been preventing Naruto from pressing the issue further then was the fact that Sasuke was waiting right outside the door. The entire situation had seemed almost too convenient, but Naruto knew it had neither been the time nor the place to bring it out in the open.

It was bad enough with Hotaru missing, Sasuke gone, the scroll that Naruto believed connected the two events, and Tsunade apparently somehow in the forefront of it all. There was too much happening at once. Everything unravelling in front of him, his thoughts a mess, and until he had a chance to sort them out, Naruto didn't want to risk any kind of confrontation and do or say something he was going to regret.

But, Tsunade's warning and casual dismissal of Hotaru aside, Naruto couldn't deny a lot of his initial anger came from Tsunade's decision to allow Sasuke to continue with his mission at all and much more so because of the ultimatum she had put forward. He didn't know what Tsunade had been trying to pull. She'd essentially backed Sasuke into a corner, and, considering Sasuke's personality, Tsunade hadn't given Sasuke much of a choice other than to accept.

Naruto realised he'd do the same if he was faced with the decision. But on purely selfish grounds, he'd hoped Tsunade would have forced Sasuke to stay in Konoha. Sasuke's protests notwithstanding, Sakura had been obligated to tell Tsunade about Sasuke losing consciousness for an indeterminable amount of time due to stress and exhaustion. Naruto would have said something to Tsunade anyway and had made a point to fill her in on his own version of events, including the unnatural glow he saw around Sasuke that Sakura had glossed over. Except Tsunade had been as receptive as Sakura when Naruto told her and didn't have any reservations about Sasuke continuing with the mission as long as Sasuke felt up to it.

This impulsive leaning toward denial, this preference of hiding behind the pretence of ignorance when things were clearly not okay, Naruto couldn't wrap his head around it.

Even Kakashi, of all people, and Iruka hadn't tried to persuade Sasuke to stay. Aside from Sasuke, they were the only other people who knew the extent of what really happened. Unlike Sasuke, whose refusal to comment about what Naruto had seen passed for believing Naruto, Kakashi and Iruka weren't exactly as eager. To Kakashi's credit, for a moment, it did seem like he wanted to talk Sasuke out of leaving. But he'd held back at the last minute, and Naruto found himself alone in actually speaking up about how uncomfortable he was with letting Sasuke go.

But he reasoned he had a right to be uncomfortable with the thought of Sasuke travelling on his own when there was usually someone with him whenever he did travel outside of the village. Because Naruto had been scared yesterday, completely out of his mind, and it was taking everything in his power to smother the need bordering on desperation to run after Sasuke while he was waiting for the tomorrow that wasn't today.

"It doesn't suit you to look like that, Naruto."

"Like what?" Naruto picked up the mug in front of him, holding it with both hands as he raised it to his mouth.

"The whole brooding thing—I can never get used to seeing you like this."

"I'm sorry if the way I'm feeling right now makes you uncomfortable." Although he was laying on the sarcasm, Naruto didn't mean anything by it. He wasn't irritated with Sakura per se, just…restless at not being able to do anything.

"You're picking up on some of Sasuke's bad habits." Sakura sent Naruto a tentative smile. When he simply shrugged his shoulders, she took another small sip of her tea and continued to watch Naruto.

The obvious concern in her eyes felt more like pity rather than sympathy, and Naruto could pinpoint the last time she looked at him like that, when she tried to convince him that it was too late for Sasuke to ever come back to Konoha. But she had been wrong then, and she was wrong now, too, if she believed Naruto wouldn't be able to bring back Hotaru like he did with Sasuke.

"I don't know what to say about what you're going through, Naruto. To be honest, I don't think there's anything I can say," Sakura admitted, "but I do know it doesn't help to beat yourself up in a situation like this. It never does."

Frowning, Naruto fiddled with the handle of his cup, slowly swinging it back and forth. "I'm not."

"You are. It hasn't even been a day, and I'm worried about you. Of course, I'm worried about Sasuke, too, but you have this tendency to not take care of yourself when you get caught up in things."

"But this is different. Sasuke—"

"And I bet you've already made Sasuke worry about you. At least look after yourself for Sasuke's sake if you won't do it for your own. He's not in a position to be distracted, regardless of whether or not you agree he should have been allowed to go to Kusagakure. Not to mention, how do you expect to find…" Sakura turned away, her eyes darting to the floor.

"What I'm saying is, Tsunade-sama doesn't want you going off alone, and I think it'd be better if you took the time to rest. Besides, it's not just you who's tired." Voice trailing off, Sakura added, "We all are."

Numbly, Naruto nodded at the reminder. He hadn't been able to sleep since yesterday, since he'd woken up in bed without either Sasuke or Hotaru, but it would have been careless of Naruto to overlook the fact that he hadn't spent the entire day trying to find Hotaru on his own.

After Naruto had brought Sasuke back to the house, as soon as Sakura, Kakashi, and Iruka first came by and Sakura was confident that nothing was wrong with Sasuke, Kakashi had opted to stay with an unconscious Sasuke, urging a haggard Naruto to take Sakura and Iruka to look for Hotaru. Less than twenty minutes later, Kiba, Shikamaru, Ino joined the impromptu search party. They had volunteered as soon he told them Hotaru was missing, reading between the lines of Naruto's false sense of controlled urgency. That they would offer to help so readily, without the slightest hesitation, Naruto felt an indescribable gratitude, offset only by the fact that, by the end of the day, they had been no closer to finding Hotaru than before.

It'd been strange coming home last night, following Sasuke inside without Hotaru running in front of them, and Naruto felt like he' been callously thrown out of the world he'd been so swept up in the day before. Taken away from the life he was looking forward to getting used to, that extended moment where time moved so slowly everything else around him stood still until it just became right—because then Naruto became aware that time had never stopped. Simply, the world had been spinning too fast for Naruto to have noticed a different kind of stillness, and when he'd passed the small pair of blue shoes that still looked brand new, idly stacked against the wall, it was the fracture that brought life back up to speed.

"I know you feel restless," Sakura said. "And I won't go into specifics to emphasise how unhealthy this is, but solely from someone with a medical standpoint and not your friend, I'd advise you to get some sleep."

"Let me know if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure that's the point of being restless. I can't."

Sakura sighed. "At least lie down on the couch or something and stop trying to keep yourself awake."

"I wonder, why aren't you more upset about this, Sakura-chan? Maybe then…"

It was a poor attempt to change the subject, but Sakura only scrunched her nose, deciding not to call Naruto out on it. Propping her elbow on the table, she rested the side of her face against her palm. "I'm not trying to come across as indifferent, but in the time that I've known Hotaru, I've only seen him twice."

"What about the party, though?" Naruto asked, thrown off less by her unexpected honesty and more by the fact Sakura was referring to Hotaru without the chan honorific, like she was trying to distance herself from Hotaru. "I mean, wasn't it your idea?"

"Yes," Sakura said without hesitation. "Yes, it was, but you have to keep in mind that I didn't have the opportunity to get to know Hotaru as much as you and Sasuke did, which apparently was much more than I thought you two could in such a short span of time. And while I do want to understand from your perspective, it's almost as if you and Sasuke—well, to develop such an attachment so quickly…even a week later, it's still something a little too strange for me to comprehend."

Naruto sagged against his chair. It wasn't that he didn't agree. It was what everyone else who knew about Hotaru had already said, what Naruto himself thought when he barged in on Sasuke giving Hotaru a bath, completely confused at how relaxed Sasuke looked around a kid neither of them knew anything about.

"Hotaru was already attached to Sasuke. We couldn't do anything about that, but are you saying we should have kept Hotaru in a closet or something?"

"You know that's not what I'm saying."

"Well, it's just that you said you don't want to sound indifferent, and I'm not saying you're doing it on purpose, but…"

Sakura reached across the table for Naruto's hand, placing it in between her own hands. She rubbed her thumb against his wrist and gave him another smile that wasn't as soothing as Naruto wanted it to be.

"It actually hurts to admit that I don't know you as well as I once did. Of course, I don't think I ever really knew Sasuke. Not like you anyway. It took me a while to realise there wasn't that kind of connection between us, but there was always something about you that I felt I could relate to."

"Ah…you're not trying to come on to me, Sakura-chan?" Naruto tried to joke. "It's kind of too late for that."

Sakura scoffed and shook her head.

"As long as you know," Naruto said lamely.

"Despite how hard I've tried…" Her face pensive, Sakura stared at Naruto's hand. "We really have grown apart, haven't we?"

"What do you mean?"

"I don't want you to think I'm suddenly pushing my feelings on you, especially at a time like this, but it's always been hard not to feel left out around you and Sasuke. Maybe even more so that I'm older and I can recognise why I used to see myself as the one who was left behind and not just in terms of power or ability. What I want to say is that, even though I don't understand what happened between you and Sasuke when Hotaru appeared, it doesn't mean I don't care how it affects you. And, not that either of you needed me before, but—but it's okay if you come to me once in a while. I'll still be here."

"Don't say it like Hotaru isn't coming back." Frowning, Naruto pulled his hand away from Sakura's. "I can't accept that."

"Naruto, you have to—"

"I made a promise, Sakura-chan. I promised Sasuke I wouldn't stop looking for Hotaru, and I have to keep it because it already feels like…"

"It feels like what, Naruto?"

"Like an important part of me is gone, an important part of us—me and Sasuke—is gone, and I don't know what to do." Naruto gripped the edge of the table, nails scraping against the hard surface of the wood. "I was supposed to watch out for them. I told myself I was going to do everything to make sure things were going to turn out okay."

"But this isn't your fault."

"I never said it was my fault."

Sakura pursed her lips. "Do you blame Sasuke?"

"What?" Naruto looked at her in surprise. "How can you even think—?"

"Well, he was the last one to see Hotaru, wasn't he? Would it really be that out of place to suspect Sasuke had something to do with Hotaru's disappearance?"

"Sasuke is—Sasuke's the one who…"

"But Sasuke isn't the one losing sleep."

"That's not true."

"Sasuke isn't the one who's not eating."

"That doesn't have to do with anything."

"Sasuke isn't the one who's on the brink of collapsing."

Naruto stood from the table, the legs of the chair dragging across the floor at the sharp movement, but Sakura stood, as well, showing no signs of being intimidated. "And if Sasuke isn't the one going through those things, shouldn't it make more sense to transfer the blame to someone who deserves it?"

"None of this is Sasuke's fault," Naruto bit out. "Sasuke doesn't deserve—"

"Naruto!"

The shout caught Naruto by surprise, and Sakura placed a hand on his shoulder. Using a little more strength than Naruto thought was necessary, she forced him back in his seat. "This isn't like you, Naruto."

"Sakura-chan, I'm…I didn't—"

"Nobody is blaming you." Sakura rubbed Naruto's shoulder gently before moving to sit in a chair closer to him. "And if you can't blame Sasuke, then you should understand why you don't need to blame yourself."

"I'm not."

"That's not what it looks like to me."

"You want to hear that I think it's my fault Hotaru's gone—that I've could have done something to prevent it when I had the chance? Is that what you want me to say?"

Sakura placed her hands in her lap. "I want you to take care of yourself, Naruto. That's all."

"...let me ask you a question then."

"Sure."

Raising his cup to his lips, Naruto drank the rest of his tea in one gulp. It was cold but still tasted just as bitter as it did warm. "You think it's okay to be insecure every once in a while, right?"

"I think it's normal."

"Well, just to put this out there, I guess, whenever I'm with Sasuke, it still feels like the whole thing between us is kind of new. In spite of everything I've done to get closer to Sasuke that feeling is still there. Honestly, I wasn't sure what would happen when Hotaru first showed up, but I didn't have time to look back, you know. Even though we didn't know who he was, we weren't going to throw him out. Hotaru didn't have anywhere to go. And it was…nice. It was really nice, Sakura-chan. I mean, between the three of us, something was there. I didn't know what it was last week. I still don't know now, but I told myself it wouldn't matter as long as I didn't allow that something to go away."

"Naruto…"

"So, here I am, trying to figure out how I managed to lose it. If it's something that important to me, why'd I let it happen? And then I start thinking, what if I never get it back?"

Sakura wrapped an arm around Naruto's neck. "I remember a long time ago, right after what happened with Sasuke's family, I used to ask my mom about you and Sasuke. Sasuke spent most of his time with his brother up until that point, probably because he lived so far away from the rest of us, but he didn't really make an effort to keep up with anyone his own age. And you, well, it wasn't your fault at any rate. Still, you two were the odd ones out in our group.

"It's funny because you guys weren't really friends then, either, but sometimes, you would chase after him even though he didn't want you to. And sometimes, when he got tired of running and trying to push you away, he would let you in. No matter how many people tried to reach out to him, you were the one he would respond to, the one he would give a smile to. I don't think you guys realised it at the time, how alike you both were. Or maybe you did and it was just that neither of you wanted to acknowledge it.

"I think that's why so many of the girls didn't like you later on when we were chuunin. They—we, I mean—were jealous because you had this bond with Sasuke that none of us had. It's different now, of course. Sasuke allows people to get closer to him but never like what he has with you.

"You were one of the few people to get Sasuke to smile like that again, Naruto. And Sasuke was one of the first people to accept you for who you were regardless of what the rest of the village said about you."

Naruto sighed and rested his head against Sakura's. "I hear what you're saying and everything, but what's your point?"

"You look at Sasuke in a certain way. I'm not sure how to describe it, but don't forget Sasuke looks at you in that way, too. I wish I felt as sure about finding Hotaru as I do with your relationship with Sasuke, but…no matter what happens—even if this isn't my place to say it—just, at the very least, if it's your relationship with Sasuke you're worried about, maybe this is for the best? Maybe—"

Naruto pulled away from Sakura's embrace and removed her hand from around his neck. "I'm sorry, Sakura-chan, but I can't believe it's better for things to end up like this, and you're one of the last people I expected to hear say something like that."

"Naruto…"

Naruto wanted to tell her not to look at him like that, with the same pity she'd given him earlier, but the image of Sakura began to blur, light from the fixture above the table smearing the edges of her face. Naruto felt her arm around his shoulders again, holding him tightly and trying to keep the room from shaking. Her bangs brushed across his cheek, strands of hair sticking to warm skin. He closed his eyes but couldn't relax in the comfort Sakura was willing to give.

"You've been working yourself too hard. That's why you're like this." Sakura said softly. "You really do need to let yourself rest."

Naruto stilled at the sharp pain on the side of his neck. He turned to look at Sakura with wide eyes, but they became too heavy to keep open, and he felt himself losing consciousness when he heard the apology she whispered in his ear.