Disclaimer: I am not J.K. Rowling. This story is merely my way of saluting her. I do not own any of these characters; I just manipulate their thoughts.

A/N: Just trying out different styles, bear with me while I experiment on you guys! Please let me know which style you like better (as in do you like this chapter better than the last one, or not.)

-x-

Step 1: Come to Terms with Your Emotions

For Sirius, that meant deny, deny, deny. Quite the opposite of coming to terms, actually. He kept finding his eyes moving to Remus without prompt. He kept finding his fingers brushing against Remus' arm any chance he could get. He kept finding a perpetual smile on his face when he was near Remus. He kept finding himself daydreaming about strangling sweet Astrid and causing her untimely demise. And he hated finding himself in those situations.

Sirius had never been the shy type. He couldn't afford to be shy. Being the black sheep of his family – the only one to get into Gryffindor and the only one who did not want anything to do with Lord Voldemort, he needed to fend for himself. Being hardheaded was in his nature. Speaking his mind was part of who he was. Getting what he wanted was what he was good at. He couldn't afford to make mistakes in his life, especially now that his parents had disowned him and prejudices were high amidst the Wizarding world.

No, Sirius had never been the shy type. So why the hell was he finding it so hard to have a simple conversation with Remus?

"… then the hippogriff took off with the troll on its back. Oh, yeah, and the troll was eating a cheese puff."

"Hmm…"

"Seriously? Did you even hear what I just said?"

"Huh? Yeah, what?"

Remus rolled his eyes, muttering about hopelessly lost causes. James and Peter were laughing, shaking their heads at Sirius' glazed look. "Are you sick?" Remus asked, grabbing Sirius' chin and peering into his eyes.

"Whoa!" Sirius yelped at Remus' proximity, tipping his chair over and upending himself. "Ow…" He blinked at the ceiling, having some sense knocked into him from the fall.

Now Peter and James were collapsed on the table, crying with amusement. Remus shook his head at Sirius, pulling him back up. "Feeling better now?" Remus asked with a smirk.

"Yeah, loads," Sirius grumbled, sticking out his two fingers at his friends.

"I think he's still coming to terms with Astrid," James said, chuckling.

How true he was and how hard Sirius wished he wasn't. This was going much too far. In his mind, Sirius started to make a list of why he shouldn't think about Remus.

Remus is Sirius' best friend.

Remus is a werewolf.

Remus is a boy.

Remus has a girlfriend.

Sirius has a girlfriend.

Remus has enormous baggage.

The other half of his mind started to make a list of why he should think about Remus.

Remus is Sirius' best friend. Best friends make perfect crushes. Enough said.

Remus is a werewolf. Sirius is an animagus. So what if Remus is a werewolf? Nothing Sirius hasn't handled before.

Remus is a boy. Remus is a very cute boy. With soft brown hair, large grey eyes, crooked lips and a charming nose. Yes, a very cute boy.

Remus has a girlfriend. Damned Astrid. Get Remus to break up with her…

Sirius has a girlfriend. No big deal.

Remus has enormous baggage. Sirius has enormous baggage. They could easily share the load.

Problem solved. Sirius' common sense and romanticism often clashed. He couldn't help it. Deny, deny, deny, um… deny, deny, de – er… deny, well… No, deny, deny, deny, deny, but he – no, deny, deny, deny, deny… deny… I could just – argh, deny, deny, deny.

"Do I have something on me?"

Sirius snapped out of it, shaking his head to jolt his brain. He had been staring at Remus during dinner. He gave a loud groan, dropping his head in his hands. Remus turned to James, titling his head. "Do I?"

"Nope," James said, going back to his turkey leg.

"You're freaking me out, Paddy," Remus said, setting down his cutlery. "Look, I'm sorry I didn't tell you about Astrid earlier, okay? It just – I don't know, it just happened. I'm still wrapping my head around it. I won't keep anything else from you," he said guiltily.

"I know," Sirius said behind his hands, squeezing his eyes shut as he tried to quiet his rabid thoughts.

"Good."

"Does she know?" Sirius asked, peeking through his fingers.

"No."

"Don't tell her."

"Wasn't planning on telling her anytime soon."

Besides, even if Sirius did come to terms, how was he ever going to get Remus to notice him? Sure, Sirius had the lover appeal to him, having a reckless reputation and a strong libido. Girls swooned as he passed them in the halls. His aristocratic air was enough to garner attention. His rebellious attitude was every girl's dream. His sharp features and perfect hair attracted females to him like flies to sugar. But none of that mattered. Because Remus wasn't a girl. And Sirius wasn't interested. Deny, deny, deny, deny, stop staring, deny, deny, deny, stop smiling, deny, deny, start talking, deny, deny.

Shivers ran down Sirius' spine when he thought of the kiss. The spontaneous kiss. The innocent kiss. The kiss he wished he had paid more attention to. That way he could be sure. Because to Sirius, a kiss says more than words. It worked well for him so far. Girls were queuing up to get a swipe at Sirius' lips. He chose his girlfriends based on how well they kissed. And if Astrid's reactions were any indication of it, Remus was a good kisser. Damn it, deny, deny, deny, don't think about it, deny, deny, deny, were they soft? Deny, deny, sweet? Deny, deny, warm? Deny, deny, deny, de – oh, fuck it!

Why hadn't Sirius noticed Remus before? Due to Remus' lack of love interests? Perhaps. Sirius had always thought of Remus as his wolf. And now, to see his wolf in another's arms was driving him insane. Not the 'I'm going to kill you, you fucking bitch' kind of insane. It was more like the, 'He's mine and like fuck I'm going to give him up that easy' kind of insane. The kind of insane that lit Sirius' eyes and made his face flush. The kind of insane that made Sirius who he was. The kind of insane that was going to help Sirius seduce his wolf.

Step 2: Practice the Art of Seduction

Obviously, before Sirius could take up the challenge, he'd need to know how to seduce a straight boy. Luckily, Hogwarts had no shortage of straight boys.

Smiling:

It's always a start. Smiling broke the ice. Smiling showed warmth. Smiling was a start. So that's how Sirius started. A small smile here, a wide grin there. At first, all he got back were confused looks and hesitant lip twitches. Sirius had never smiled in class before because he was always asleep during it. So when he started paying attention, the students in class perked up. Something was different about Sirius. He was – smiling?

"Um… who's he looking at?"

"You."

"Why?"

"I don't know. Did you do something?"

"I – I don't think so. Shit, I hope not!"

"Er – he's – um, smiling…"

"What?"

The first week was spent awkwardly for the boys in the classes Sirius was in. Sirius was oblivious. He disregarded his failed attempts and cherished the tentative return of his gesture. By the second week, he got more smiles than frowns. James, Remus and Peter shrugged at each other whenever they saw the exchanges. Sirius had wild mind games he liked to play. Perhaps this was one of them. They didn't bother to ask, knowing they'd just hear a convoluted version of his plan and wanting no part in it. Third week, half the students were expecting Sirius' welcoming smile as they entered their classroom.

Smiling: Success

Smiling Seductively:

Once again, not a hard task for Sirius. He was well aware of his seductive qualities. All he needed to do was lower his lashes slightly and pull up one corner of his mouth higher than the other. A charming, roughish smirk. He could flick it on and off like a switch. He started off with a soft smile and when he got one in return, he'd switch on.

"He's hitting on me!"

"Wh – what?"

"Sirius Black is totally hitting on me!"

"No fucking way."

Sure, it worked great with the gay ones. The straight ones, however, was another story.

"What the hell is he smiling at me like that for?"

Mixed reviews were all Sirius got. A few gave back faltering smiles and the rest scowled at him fiercely, feeling insecure about their standings. Yes, Sirius had that kind of an effect on them, even the straight ones. After a couple of weeks of seductive smiling, Sirius decided to scratch it off his list. He was getting much too many terrified looks. He did not want Remus to be terrified of him.

Smiling Seductively: Yae for gays, nay for straights.

So far, a month had passed. Sirius knew he had to act fast. Astrid and Remus were getting a little too comfy with each other for his liking. And he was getting a little too comfy with Remus in his dreams for his liking. Remus was starting to grow accustomed to Sirius' moody silences and odd looks. He knew Astrid was the reason for it. He had tried to talk to Sirius about her, but was always silenced by Sirius' furious glares. Remus knew Sirius was jealous. Oh, but if he only knew why…

Touching: (No, not that kind of touching. Ugh! Well… At least, not yet…)

Sirius imagined a soft, innocent touch on the shoulder would be a good start. Shoulders were neutral. Everybody had them. It was pretty useless. Just something your arms were attached to and a good place to sling your knapsack. Not many nerve endings were present on the bony appendage. Most people don't even notice it when you touch them on the shoulder. It was easy to touch, from behind or from the front. Yes, a very neutral place to start. So that's exactly what Sirius started doing. In the hall, if a friend stopped him, Sirius would gently touch him on the shoulder while smiling, gauging his reaction. It was always easy to get away with nonsense when talking to friends. All of them smiled back at him. Sirius needed to turn to his acquaintances, not his friends. Of course his friends wouldn't mind him touching their shoulders.

Having the feisty reputation he had, it was difficult for Sirius to get close enough to any boy to touch his shoulder. Most of them flinched away when he approached, or took a step back when he tried to invade their personal bubble. Of course, it was going to be easier with Remus. Sirius could punch him in the guts and Remus would just take it with a cheerful grin. After a week of unsuccessful trials, he realized that he'd have to practice on Remus. Not just any straight boy.

Touching: To be continued.

Now, how on Earth was Sirius going to get Astrid off of Remus' face? At first he'd thought of talking Remus into breaking up with her. But it seemed like belated advice right now, considering the fact that Remus and Astrid had been happily dating now for two months. Then he thought of talking Astrid into breaking up with Remus. Easier said that done since Sirius had never had a proper conversation with Astrid before.

"Hey."

"Hi."

"Nice day."

"Yup."

"Hmm…"

"Well, see you around."

"Yeah."

And that was their most enthusiastic conversation as of yet. I know, such a nail biter. Sirius gave up on that idea. The third thing he could try was get her to fall for someone else…

Now there's a thought…

But who –

Surely not – no, that'd be – but then how would he – Remus would – it was – it was ingenious!

Step 3: Seduce your Wolf's Girlfriend

1. Start talking to her.

"Hey, Astrid!"

"Um… Hi."

"I was wondering whether you wanted to join us at Hogsmeade."

"Really?"

"Yeah, really."

"Um… O – okay."

2. Smile seductively

No biggie. Sitting in the booth at the Three Broomsticks while drinking pints of Firewhiskey would make anyone smile seductively. One crooked smile. A few fluttering eyelashes. A slight wink. That's all it took. Astrid was already warming up to Sirius' charms.

3. Be courteous.

Even though it was Sirius' sly flick of the wand that caused Astrid's bag to rip, he was still courteous enough to help her gather her fallen quills and parchments. Their fingers brushed. Sirius tried to hide his smile as Astrid flinched away. Something was brewing.

4. More 'accidental' touching

Shoulders bumped, fingers met arm, feet knocked against ankles.

Astrid sighed, leaning her head against the frame as she and Remus sat on the secluded windowsill. "Wanna hear something funny?" she asked him as she gently tapped the wood.

"Yes."

"Sirius is flirting with me."

Remus tilted his head slightly, running the statement over in his head. "He is?"

"Yes."

"Imagine that…" he said distantly. "Why?"

"That's what I've been trying to figure out myself."

"Do you think he's caught on?"

Astrid looked out into the night sky thoughtfully. She shrugged after a moment. "No."

"Hmm…"

"What do I do?"

Now it was Remus' turn to shrug. "What do you want to do?"

Astrid bit her lip, narrowing her eyes and smirking at Remus. "Have some fun."

Remus rolled his eyes at her. "Whatever floats your boat. Just don't do anything crazy."

"Crazy? Me? Pish posh!"

"And don't hurt him."

Astrid made a noise of frustration. "Fine."

"And don't fall for him."

"I won't."

"And don't make him fall for you…"

"Gosh darn it, Remus!"

"Because he's supposed to fall for me!"

Miss me? No? Hmph… Just wanted to see your terrifyingly confused faces as you read this chapter. You think you're perplexed? Well, imagine me, watching all this without any sense of direction. At least you know what's going to happen in the end. I had no fucking clue. I did try to warn you about the excessive silliness. Nobody ever listens to me. Stop complaining.

Fade to black.

-x-

A/N: So what do you think? Do you want the crazy, obnoxious author back or do you prefer the way I wrote this chapter?