From the desk of Mrs. Ulquiorra Schiffer.
Ishida,
Yuki-chan is leaving for Hueco Mundo tomorrow to celebrate Cinco de Mayo with us, the Espadas. You are also invited. However, given the circumstances of your last visit to our palace to rescue the slutty princesa, We of Las Noches understand if you refuse our invitation. We will not take any offence if you stay at home like a big wimpy baby and hope Yuki-chan doesn't get raped.
– Mrs. Ulquiorra Shiffer
Renji: We are gathered here today to bring together Hanatarou and this very-uh-lovely pickle...? Do you, Hanatarou, take this...pickle to be your lawfully wedded vegetable?
Hanatarou: I do! *crying*
Renji: Do you pickle take Hanatarou to be your lawfully wedded shinigami?
Pickle: *falls over*
Renji:...I think we're done here...
"WAIT!" shouts SzayelApporro. "That pickle is MY wife!"
"Gasp! Pickle, you never told me! What's that you say? Pickle, what do mean you're actually a... Cucumber that was aged in vinegar? That married SzayelApporro... in Las Vegas?" Hanataro's voice cracked.
"Yes. That is right. Get your hands off my wife!"
(Pickle still on ground. . .)
Szayel picked up his pickle wife and ate her instantly healing his wounds :D
Hanataro cried but nobody cared so they left him there in an empty church.