The next morning, Germany had a big headache. Italy wasn't next to him. He guessed he was at work already. Germany was off today but he had no idea what to do. Then he remembered that Japan also had the day off. He ran to the phone and punched in Japan's house number. While it was ringing, Germany glanced at the clock. It was 10:00. How the hell could that be? It was really late for him. As he curiously pondered if he had a hangover, a familiar voice broke through the ringing.

"Hello?" Germany recognized Japan's voice right away.

"Hi Japan. It's Germany."

"Oh, hello Germany-kun. What's up? It's very odd of you to use a phone. You normally just show up somewhere. Perhaps you want to do the phone sex? That's-" Germany cut him off right after that, feeling his face get red.

"Japan, if I was with you right now, you'd be dead on the floor. I just wanted to check something. You have off today right? Why don't we go get some coffee?"

"Really? Sure, that's fine, but shouldn't you be with Italy-kun?"

"It's a long story. I'll tell you at the café. So, let's say noonish?"

"Perfect. See you then. Bye Germany-kun.

"Bye Japan." Germany hung up the phone. Oh god, how am I gonna explain this to him? And Italy might just kill me…was all he could think. By the time the call was over, it was 10:30. He decided to take a shower. He ran up to his room and then to the bathroom, slipping on the bar of soap Italy had left out.

"Grr… stupid soap…" He then got in and turned on the hot water. Bu the time he was done with the shower, breakfast, wrapping his soap induced wrist injury, and getting dressed, it was 11:45. Time to go and see Japan. He jumped into his tank and arrived at the café at 12:10. Japan was already there, waving to him to come sit down. He parked his tank and ran to his friend, giving him a quick hug, and then to his seat.

"Ok Germany-kun, what's wrong with Italy-kun?"

"he's acting very odd. Like Spain, when he experimented with rolling crack, pot, and dope in one smoke." Germany and Japan simultaneously shuddered, remembering Spain's bit of cursing, kissing, and streaking.

"…Is that even possible?"

"…Yeah you're right. But he's still acting weird! He has these really random, severe mood swings. Plus, he's eating more than I do now. And, although he almost killed me for saying so, he's kind of getting fat…"

"Hmm…" Just then, Japan saw Russia walking by.

"Hi Russia-kun!" Russia turned, waved, and ran to their small table.

"Hey Germany, Japan. What's up?"

"Germany-kun had the day off and didn't know what to do with it, so we came here. How're you? How's Canada?" The scarved man smiled at the mention of his lover's name.

"It's good that you brought him up. I have good news. Canada's pregnant! I'm gonna be a daddy!" Russia was happier than the day he got to give America his birthday punches. "It's really a pain though. Canada's really different now. He nearly ate the entire pantry in one day. And he's not his totally sweet self. He has freaky random mood swings. He's getting bigger now too. He looks weird when he's fat."

"…Um…Russia?" Germany said, honest concern in his voice. "Is America ok with all this?"

"What do you mean? Of course he's……Oh shit…" America had spontaneously appeared from out of no where and was running at full speed towards Russia.

"You Bastard!!!!!!!!!" America yelled, obviously pissed off. He was about 3 blocks away.

"oh double shit…I should probably run now, shouldn't I?"

"Yeah, sort of." Germany said.

"Definitely." Japan agreed, nodding.

"Russiaaaaaaaaaaaa!!!!!!!!!!!!" America was closer now. Only a block away.

"Oh triple shit. Bye guys." Then Russia darted away, a pissed off idiot on his tail. "Gyaaaaaahhhh! Go awaaaayyy!!"

"Not until you're dead!!!!" America screamed.

"Ok then…wait a minute. Did you hear what he said about Canada-kun and his pregnancy symptoms?"

"Uh huh. So?"

"Are you thinking what I'm thinking?"

"…Russia's gonna die?"

"No. Well yes, but not the point." Germany thought hard.

"…Then I got nothing."

"Germany-kun, have you taken a stupid pill today?"

"…Maybe."

"Geez…You're on your own, Germany-kun." Japan said his goodbyes and left for home, leaving Germany there, confused.

"Was it something I said?"