Germany awoke to the sound of screaming. The shock made him jump and hit his head on the ceiling, stunning him slightly. He fell back to the bed with a springy thump. When he stood up, he heard the scream again. It was loud and shrill. Italy. He ran out the bedroom and into the hallway, just in time to see Italy running before smacking head first into Germany, knocking them both down. Both men rubbed their heads. When Italy came around, he screamed again and scrambled to stand up. When he got to his feet, he ran behind Germany, as if to use him as a human meat shield.

"Dammit Italy, what's wrong?"

"T-the de-devil has come f-for us…"

"What in hell are you talking about?" Italy slowly pointed to the stairs that led to the living room. Germany sighed "So you're telling me if I go down there, I'm gonna see an evil man wearing red with horns and a pitchfork?" Italy didn't respond. He just looked terrified. Germany sighed and walked downstairs, Italy cautiously following behind. He surveyed the room. Everything was exactly how it had been last night.

"I see no one with red horns or a pitchfork in hand." Italy pointed a shaky finger towards Russia, who was still snoring, oblivious to the scene his presence was causing. Germany rolled his eyes. "It's just Russia. He's my guest, not the devil." Italy glared at the sleeping blonde.

"That's how they get you… They make nice with you so you'll invite them in and then their fangs stab you and suck you dry of blood…" Germany sighed and rolled his eyes yet again.

"That's vampires, nitwit."

"Well then it's a vampire! I don't care! He scares me!" Germany was getting pissed at Italy for insulting Russia, but he kept his mouth shut.

"He'll be gone in a few hours."

"Hmph. That isn't soon enough." Italy ran upstairs. Ten minutes later, he came down fully dressed. "I want him GONE by the time I'm home from work." A scared and ticked off brunette marched out the door, to his car and drove away. Germany plopped on the part of the long couch Russia wasn't occupying and sighed.

"You done pretending to be asleep yet?" Russia laughed a little and sat up.

"Was it that obvious?"

"To Italy, no. To me, and probably anybody else, yes." Russia blushed pink and looked down at his lap.

"Whoops. I didn't mean to cause trouble. Maybe I should leave…" Russia started heading to the front door but Germany blocked his way.

"Not happening. Canada isn't home yet and I don't want you there by yourself without him." Germany said in a serious tone.

"I don't need you to babysit me"

"Oh, I think you do. Canada's gone right now. That means your only defense against insanity is gone, too." Russia glared at the man and started his rant.

"So you're just gonna keep me here? I'm pretty sure that counts as kidnapping! Besides, I can take care of myse-"

Germany didn't feel like arguing, so he shut Russia up the only way he knew would work, by lip locking. It lasted less than a minute, but that was enough to make the arguing man's mind go blank. His eyes were wide and staring at Germany. Germany turned faint pink.

"Ok that probably wasn't the best idea but I knew it'd get you quiet. Hehehehe…" Germany laughed nervously, rubbing the back of his head. He looked back up at Russia, who turned his head to the side.

"I…Um…I have to…uh…go…upstairs for…something…" Russia ran up the stairs at full speed, running into Germany's bedroom and slamming the door behind him. Germany's expression twisted into a perfect WTF look as he walked up the stairs and tried to open the door. It wasn't locked, but Russia had all his weight against it.

"Russia, open the door."

"Nope."

"Why not?"

"Because…I have the feeling something'll happen if I do."

"Like?" Russia was silent. He opened the door and bellyflopped into the bed, burying his face in a pillow. Germany again was confused. "Why wont you show me your face?"

"Because…"

"Because why?"

"Because it…it betrays me…"

"How can your face betray you?" Russia took his face out of the pillow and stood up, back to germany. He turned around and sighed.

"This is how." His face was deep red now and he was starting to sweat. Not because of his overcoat either. Germany turned red too as he realized what was going on. "Me and Canada. We can't have sex. It's bad for the baby. You can't have it with Italy either. But you and I…That's a different story." Before Germany knew what was happening, Russia had hooked his arm around Germany's neck and pulled him in for a kiss. Germany tried to wiggle away, but Russia was stronger than he thought. Russia gasped 4 minutes later. A trail of saliva hung from their lips. "I know how to treat my suitors. Can you resist me?" Germany turned crimson. He knew the answer was no. 'Ah hell. Russia's gonna rape me and then Italy'll find out and kill me. Great…' he thought. But would it be rape? Germany knew it was wrong but his body disagreed. His length grew stiffer at the thought of Russia's cock pushing into him. Moving. Throbbing. Thrusting. And finally cumming deep into his body. His body shivered and Germany gave up. He really COULDN'T resist, even if he tried. He growled and pushed Russia down onto the bed hard before crushing his lips against the other man's. Their tongues snaked around each other violently like they were determined to taste the other's spit. Germany started to grind against Russia while he took off his clothes, not being careful in the slightest. Germany saw the clothes as the only thing between him and release inside Russia. Once their chests were exposed, Germany started nipping at Russia's neck and collarbone. Russia moaned and fisted a hand in Germany's hair, the other hand massaging the larger blonde's member. A moment later, the pants came off, followed by the boxers. Russia's hand, still fisted in Germany's hair, was leading Germany's mouth lower. Germany grabbed Russia's hand and untwined it from his hair. His mouth went up to Russia's ear.

"Not so fast. I won't make this easy. I never do…" Germany took on a husky, seductive tone. He pulled Russia off the bed and onto his knees in front of him before laying on the floor, stomach up, knees bent, and legs spread as wide as possible. Russia's cock throbbed sorely in response to the new pose.

"Ugh…stop it…I'm gonna…lose it…" Russia crawled in between Germany's legs, but Germany grabbed a fistful of his hair and pulled him up to his chest.

"Dinner before dessert…be good and you might just get…an extra helping…" Russia groaned, then smiled devilishly. Germany's neck looked delicious. Russia lowered his mouth and licked the side of his neck, also taking time to stop and pant. Russia's hot breath made Germany shiver. Slowly the Russian moved lower, sucking on his collarbone. "Ngh…" Now Germany was being teased. And he loved every second. The only question left was, who will break first? Russia moved even lower to Germany's nipples. He took one in his mouth, licking around it and pressing it down with his tongue, and pinched the other, making Germany wince. That went on for a solid 5 minutes before he moved to the center of Germany's chest and licked down to his stomach, then the base of his cock. He licked and kissed his way up the shaft and stopped when he got to the tip. He clamped his mouth around the head and bit it gently while pushing down on it with his tongue. Germany couldn't take anymore. He grabbed Russia's hair again and pulled himself hard into Russia's mouth completely. Russia gagged a bit but quickly adjusted and started sucking furiously and bobbing his head in time with his racing pulse. Germany moaned and arched his back off the floor. The familiar pressure was pooling in his stomach. Russia must've picked up on this because he reached down to Germany's calves, trailed gently up his thighs, and came to rest on the sacs underneath Germany's member. He was holding them in a way that made release impossible as long as they stayed like that. He took Germany's painfully throbbing cock from the confines of his mouth and pushed it against his stomach, giving him a clear view of the two round balls beneath it. He squeezed them, making the pressure in Germany's stomach grow, but release still impossible. Russia licked the area that his fingers weren't covering and nipped at them with his teeth, making Germany feel like he was about to explode. Again and again Germany's body shuddered, begging to cum, but he couldn't overcome the taller man. "Russia…I'm gonna…rrg….p-pop…gyah…" Russia smiled and let the younger blonde go.

"No cumming. Not yet…" Germany held in his desire to release as best he could but he didn't know how long he'd last. Russia stood up and walked around to Germany's head and looked down at him before getting down on his hands and knees again. He crawled over and kissed Germany's forehead, then his nose, then a fierce French kiss, then his jaw, then his chin. The kisses moved lower, little by little, bit by bit, and Germany started doing the same from underneath. Russia kissed up the shaft again and when he kissed the tip, slammed his mouth around it and sucked fiercely. Germany did the same to the cock now centimeters from his mouth. Then it was Germany's turn. He kept pace with the throbs of Russia's member, which were coming more often and faster. But Germany was getting impatient too. He dug his right nails into Russia's lower back and searched for his opening. When he found it, he pushed in a finger roughly, making Russia groan in pain and pleasure. Germany added two more fingers at once and started twisting. "rrgh…AAAGH!" That's when he felt a shudder from the body on top of him, followed by a stream of thick, white, hot liquid filling his mouth. The shock made him let go of what hold he had and he released his seed into Russia's mouth. Russia collapsed on top of Germany as they struggled to get their pulse and breathing under control. It took a while, but eventually they calmed down and stood up. They found their voices again when they were getting dressed.

"Italy really is a lucky man."

"As is Canada."

"We take this to our deaths, yes?"

"I think you mean take this to our graves."

"Whatever. We tell no one, ok?"

"Definitely. I can't say that wasn't fun, that's for sure."

"Neither can I. Let's do it again later." Germany laughed.

"God, we are impure men."

"What was your first clue?"

"Uh, this?"

"Feels good, doesn't it?"

"Um…Maybe…Just a little…" Russia punched Germany's shoulder.

"Embrace the dark side, comrade." Germany laughed again.

"Is this the part where you say you're my father?"

"I hope I'm not. Or I just screwed my son."

"Exactly." Both men smiled and sat on the couch. Russia turned on the TV. There was a hockey game on.

"I miss Canada…" Germany patted the Russian's back.

"You'll live." Germany put his arm over the other blonde's shoulder and they channel surfed into exhaustion and finally fell asleep.