You're As Cold As Ice.
Summery: Sometimes being cold isn't always a bad thing.
Rated: T For Main Character Death, some violence and the obvious angst. :(
WARNING: Character death, angst, swearing and uber sadness.
Story Type: Now a two-shot due to majority request.
Genre: Tragedy, Family, Angst... Schmoop?
A/N: My reason for making this fic? You know... I honestly have no idea. I'm clearly not 100% stable mentally though, lol. Then again, you're reading it, aren't you? What does that say about you, eh? :) Enjoy.
Part Two
Sam's POV
Sam stared down at his sobbing mess of a brother, mouth open a little in shock. Dean was... crying? Over him? Sam felt his entire body - well, spirit anyways- start to flow with confused emotions.
Why was Dean crying? Wasn't this his chance to be happy? To be free now?
Apparently, Dean didn't share the same thoughts.
He cradled Sam's lifeless and battered body in his shaking arms as he sobbed miserably into the cooling skin of his pulse-less neck.
"Sam! C'mon Sammy, wake up! Wake up man, please!" He choked out weakly in a broken voice, eyes filled with despondency when Sam didn't respond.
His head proceeded to wilt down pathetically like a neglected flower as the sobbing then continued.
All the younger man could do was stare in shock. Dean was really crying for him. He actually missed Sam. He felt a sudden rush of unbelievable grief and sadness rush through his soul as he slowly sunk to his knees, crawling over beside his oblivious older brother.
He flicked a little, but payed no attention as he quietly sat cross legged at Dean's side, staring sadly at his big brothers tear stricken face.
His grimace only deepened as fresh ones slowly continued sliding down after the others without pause.
"Dean... he whispered out softly, desperately hoping for some sort of an reaction. He unsurprisingly got none, and if anything Dean seemed to sob harder into his deceased little brothers neck.
"Dean." He pressed, putting more force into his voice along with a mixture of the raw emotions currently swirling around in him.
Dean's head jerked up at that and Sam grimaced at the broken expression on his older brothers tear-streaked face.
"Sammy?" He croaked out, looking blindly out at the empty air in front of him.
Sam crawled in front of of the confused and heartsick older man before returning to his cross-legged position and concentrating. Concentrating on only one thing, and that was to be visible for Dean to be able to see him.
Though Sam was still just a little bit shocked that he would even wanted to see Sam...
Shaking his head, he put more energy behind him, squinting a little in intense focus as he focused on only Dean's tear streaked face, a soft mantra of See me, hear me, look at me, feel me, rushing though his mind.
It was only a few more seconds of extremely exhausting concentration before Sam managed to flicker into Dean's eyesight. A loud, broken gasp of shock rang from the hunters throat.
Sam felt what he assumed to be his pulse -if he even still had one- increase viciously as the older man stared at him, eyes wide with shock and grief.
For a moment they just stare, both equally stunned and frightened to make any sort of movement whatsoever. Then, without any warning, Dean's dam broke loose.
Tears -somehow- starting to brim his eyes, he find himself launching himself into his older brothers arms. Sam's once inhabited body was harmlessly bumped to the side as the two brothers fell to the ground, Sam's light -but still there- weight holding them down.
Burying his face into the stunned brothers neck, Sam shook with unshed tears form flickered irrationally in his arms, "I-I'm so sorry Dean, he choked out meekly, "I just w-wanted you to be ha-happy for once. To-To not have to feel like all the w-weight was on your shoulders." He sobbed out, inhaling the deep, comforting scent of his big brother.
For a moment Dean didn't move, arms hanging loosely at his sides as Sam lay curled up on his chest, and for a brief flash of fear Sam was afraid that he'd made a mistake, that Dean didn't actually want to see him.
Then a pair of tight, shaking arms wrapped so tightly around Sam's waist that if he were still alive would have probably cut off his air supply. A wave of sobs shook though the older mans body as he clutched Sam tightly to him.
Burying his face in his hair, Dean gently gripped the back of Sam's chilled head and twined his fingers though the soft hair."I'm so, so sorry, Sammy." He managed out in a such a small, vulnerable voice that Sam had never heard before once in his life.
"I just wanted to keep you safe... Just wanted to make it so you wouldn't have to be any sadder then you already were." Dean let loose a strangled laugh, "Bang up job I did, eh?"
Sam pulled his face away from Dean's grasp and stared up teary eyed into the matching set of equally as distressed eyes. "Don't you get it Dean? You're my brother, I would do anything for you. And knowing that you were suffering so much hurt me way more then you talking about it with me ever could have." Sam finished softly.
Staring miserably down at Sam, a small, shaky smile gently pulled at Dean's lips, "Guess I never thought of it that way." he managed out quietly, eyes growing painfully wide in fear and grief as he watched his baby brother flicker once again in his arms.
"Sam..." He croaked out. Feeling a rush of sadness once again, Sam nodded gently in understanding as he felt himself uncontrollably start to flicker again and again.
"You know that no matter what, I'll always be watching out you right?" He questioned softly, voice starting to grow more and more tired.
Dean's eyes were pinched tightly, entire body quivering with suffering.
"Please don't leave Sammy..." He whispered desperately, "Your body's right there man, just jump right back in."
Sam felt his soul ache worse and worse with each word, and he shook his head heavily, eyes tearing up again, "You and I both know that it doesn't work that way Dean..."
"T-Then we'll find a way to save you! Just give me a couple days and-" Sam's flickering cut him off, and Sam could feel that his time was running out.
"Dean, Dean listen to me!" Sam urged, managing to focus enough to grab Dean's jaw and make him look him eye to eye. "You know that I love you, right?" Staring wide eyed at him, tears seeming to have made a permanent stain on his pale cheeks, Dean nodded.
"Of course Sammy, I-I love you to, but..." Sam felt his will start to slip. He knew that staying behind had basically no guarantees that he would ever be put back in his body. But the thought of leaving dean all alone in this cold, dangerous world scared him to death.
Well, you know what he means.
He opened his mouth to speak again when suddenly, a person flicked into view, standing just above Dean's head.
She was pretty, short, dark brown hair neatly cut into a cute bob, but she was wearing dark shaded clothes. Her solemn, knowing brown eyes stared gently into his own.
Holding a hand out towards him, she said softly in a voice that made Sam yearn for rest. It didn't take long for Sam to realize what she was.
A reaper. And she'd come to usher his spirit into the afterlife. Staring up at her with a pained expression, Sam whispered out, "I can't leave. He... he needs me." Sam saw Dean's face visibly pale even more -if possible- and he started to shake his head back and form, head whipping around.
"No! You stay away from my brother you soul schlepping son of a bitch!" He snarled into the cold night air. Despite Dean's slightly hysterical threats, her gaze remained only on his, filled with knowing kind of sympathy.
"He doesn't need you Sam. He wants you, but he doesn't need you."
Sam shook his head in disagreement, "That's not true, he does! If I leave he'll be all alone and who know what could happen to him?"
He stared at him with somber, expressive eyes. "When your time has arrived, your time has arrived. And your time, Sam Winchester, has indeed arrived."
Her voice grew softer as she continued. "Now, I can't force you to come with me, but you won't get back into your body. I can promise you that there is no piece of hoodoo, voodoo or black magic around that can bring you back without giving something big back in return."
Sam felt himself stiffen, "What are you saying? That if Dean tries to put me back in my body someone could get hurt? That he could get hurt?" Dean let out a ferocious growl of outrage.
"Dammit Sam, don't listen to it! We'll find a way to bring you back, no strings attached! Just don't go with it!" He begged.
Then Sam looked down at Dean with an expression that made him stop cold.
Dean's POV
It was an expression that he'd only seen a couple times in his life. Once when they were kids and Sam had demanded to know where dad was really going on his 'business trips', and right before the fight with dad over going to Stanford. It was an expression that was so clear, so filled with yearning and desperation that it made Dean stop his argument right in its tracks.
"Sam... do you... want to go with the reaper?" He whispered, voice cracking a little with raw emotion. Sam's eyes wide with shock, and for a second he looked like he was going to argue when his entire being slumped over in submission.
He nodded, "Yea Dean... Not because I want to leave you!" he added quickly, "Just because... I'm tired Dean." he whispered out sadly, and Dean felt his heart clench in his chest.
Sam went on quietly, "You've seen what spirits become Dean. They either go insane with grief, fear or just loneliness." He whispered softly, "And what are you going to do? Drag my dead body all along the country with you?" Dean flinched a little, but Sam went on.
"How many hunters have you heard of that have ever actually brought someone back from the dead, Dean? What's dead should stay dead, remember?" He quoted lightly.
Dean scowled darkly at Sam for a moment, then couldn't help the slightly pained smile that stretched dryly across his lips and chuckled dryly. "Just couldn't wait to throw that one back in my face could you?"
Sam smiled sadly and shook his head.
Letting loose a long, jittery sigh he braced himself mentally for what he was about to say. Even though it was killing him, quite possibly literally, he knew it was the right thing to do.
"You should go with it Sam. You..." He cursed himself when tears started to involuntarily fill his eyes again, "You don't belong here anymore.
"Sam looked at him in shock for a moment, then relief washed over his face. Dean stared solemnly at his dead little brother and buried his face in his hands, rubbing it roughly.
He keeps hoping that this is all just an awful, awful dream and he was going to wake up any moment.
Except it wasn't, and he wouldn't.
Sam's POV
After a long, silent beat Sam gently pried his surprisingly corporeal spirit out of Dean's vice like grip and shakily stood up.
The dark haired woman smiled sweetly at him and held out her out towards Sam. He stared at it, still just the tiniest bit frightened of where it would lead him. Looking up at her with timid, wide eyes, he spoke softly.
"Where... where exactly am I going? Heaven or..." He trailed off with a note of slightly fearful uncertainty
The reaper just smiled at him in amusement and shook her head.
"You Winchesters, always wanting to spoil the big surprise. Sorry Sammy, can't give away the big punch-line. Let me ask you this though." She gave him one of those knowing looks. "After all you've done, all the people you've saved, everything you've sacrificed and more, do you really think you need to ask me where you're most likely going?"
Sam smiled, his soul seeming to relax at the words. He started to reach for her hand when suddenly a thought struck him. He looked back and Dean was standing, staring at him with tears in his eyes and shockingly, a small, -stress the word small- fraction of a smile on his face.
At Sam's questioning look, he chuckled weakly and shook his head. "Though every instinct in my body is telling me to fight to keep you I know that it's your time." The smile grew just a fraction wider, "I know you're going to a good place Sammy."
Sam felt tears rush to his eyes, and stepping away from the waiting reaper for a moment he strode back to his brother before pulling him into a hug. It was an emotional hug, and though he'd deny it, it was a pretty damn girly hug to.
Neither of them could be bothered to give a damn.
Pulling away, Sam stared at his big brother with tears in his eyes and a peaceful smile on his face, "I'm gonna miss you a lot Dean. Don't take this the wrong way but... he chuckled a little, "I really hope I don't see you to soon."
Dean gave him a classic Dean Winchester grin, "We'll see about that Sammy." Sam laughed a little and pulled away gently from the earthly comfort of his brothers protective grasp.
Turning back to the patiently waiting reaper, he silently strode over to her side, and just as he was about to take hold of her inviting hand, he heard a soft, familiar voice from behind.
"Hey Sam..." Sam paused, turning his head slightly back towards his brother.
"Yea, Dean?" He questioned gently. There was the soft sound of scuffling from behind him and after a beat of silence Dean's voice finished timidly, "Tell mom I said hi, okay?"
Emotion clogged Sam's throat at that and he fully glanced over his shoulder one more time and gave Dean a winning smile.
"You can count on it Dean." He assured him softly before taking the reapers hand into his own, and suddenly he most warm bright light washed over his being, stunning him for a moment as she gently started to lead him forward into it.
The sound of heavenly singing and the most gorgeous music entered his ears. Looking back and wasn't shocked to see that Dean no longer stood behind him, and a small pang of sadness skittered though him.
Then he remembered where he was going, where Dean would -hopefully not too soon- be going one day as well and the sadness steadily lessened.
Just as Sam was about to cross over into that beautiful, blinding light, an odd thought occurred to him.
"Hey, can I ask you a quick question before I go?" He inquired, looking over to the fading reaper.
She looked a little startled, but nodded with a small smile of amusement. "Sure kid, why not. Shoot."
Tilting his head curiously to the side, he asked, "What's your name? If you have one, I mean."
At that, she gave him the widest, most electric smile he thinks is possible for a creature of death.
"I have a lot of names, but you can call me Tessa."
The (Real) End