I know, I know. It's getting bad, but the worst is yet to come. Please just keep remembering that I am promising you a very HEA ending to the story. And also remember that Bella is eighteen years old, and she's immature and confused and emotional. I'm not exactly fond of her right now, but don't flame her, okay?

…

When I got home from school, Edward was sitting on the couch, holding Avery in his lap and watching something on television. He glanced up at me, and there was a guilty look on his face. "I would have picked you up from school." He murmured softly.

"Alice was fine with giving me a ride. She said she doesn't mind." I said shortly, dropping my backpack on the end table in front of the couch. Then I took Avery off of Edward's lap and kissed her forehead. "She's tired, I'll put her down for a nap." With that, I walked out of the room.

By the time I emerged from Avery's room, Edward was waiting for me in the living room, with the television turned off. But I breezed past him into the kitchen, where I headed straight for the sink, cleaning up the dirty dishes from breakfast and lunch. "I'm sorry for what I said." Edward's voice rang out, but I didn't turn around to face him. "Bella, don't-"

"No, you don't, Edward. I'm sick of you right now, and I want you to just leave me alone. Leave me alone with our daughter to clean the apartment and do my homework and pay the bills." I said viciously, and then resumed loading the dishwasher.

Edward was silent for a moment, and when he spoke his voice was clearly laced with anger. "Okay, Bella. I'll leave and go work for an eight hour shift, and then come home and take care of our daughter while you're at school." He leaned closer to me, his breath on my neck. "Stop acting so immature. You're not the only one here who has made sacrifices." And then he kissed the back of my neck and left.

As soon as I heard the apartment door close, I reached back and touched the spot on my neck where he had kissed me, wondering why I didn't feel anything. Edward and I had some chemistry, I knew we did. Whenever we had sex, it was like my entire body was aflame and I was always so aware that it was Edward making me feel so good. But right now, I felt absolutely nothing for Edward. I wished I did, but I couldn't force this.

There were so many things I could have done differently and my life could have been so much better, and easier as well. I could have stayed home the night of the party, but I went anyway. I could have stayed away from all the different types alcohol, but I drank more than I ever had before; vodka and gin and beer. I could have stayed away from the handsome stranger with startlingly green eyes and disheveled auburn hair, but instead I had sex with him.

I could easily blame it all on Edward- so that was what I was trying to do, even though I knew it had been my fault just as much as it had been his. I had been the one to initiate the kissing and I had asked Edward to come into the bathroom with me. I can't be sure, or even remember, how we ended up having sex, but it happened and that's where I am now. An eighteen year old saddled with a baby and fighting with…whatever Edward was to me- I couldn't even define it anymore.

Although I told Mike and Alice and other people who had asked that I had a boyfriend, that wasn't really what Edward was.

Neither of us dated other people, but we weren't a couple. We had sex, but we weren't a couple. This was all getting to be too much for me- it was too confusing and too complex and I didn't want to do it anymore. I wanted to curl up in bed and wake up back in my mom's house in Seattle, content and simplistic.

Avery's crying distracted, and I groaned to myself, trudging into her room. I lifted her into my arms and kissed her pudgy cheek, sighing loudly.

"Can you be quiet for once?" I griped, and then I realized that I was getting mad a seven month old baby. "I'm sorry." I whispered in her ear, cuddling her body against my chest. "This is unfair to you too, isn't it? I don't even know why I'm here." I murmured, looking down at her angelic face. "It's for you, but you don't need me. I don't even deserve to have you…I can't love you and provide for you like I should be able to. When you're grown up, I want you to be smarter than me. Don't drink and don't let random strangers take your virginity." I laughed hollowly. "You don't need to hear about this." I sighed and wiped a tear out of the corner of my eye. "You don't need to know what a stupid teenage girl I've been."

Of course, Avery had no response. She just gave a tiny little sigh and snuggled against my shoulder again. "I'm eighteen years old, but I definitely don't feel like I'm an adult. And I'm sorry that I'm not mature enough to take care of you or to make your dad happy." I studied Avery's face for a moment, smiling to myself. "You have his nose and hair…lucky girl. You'll be so beautiful when you grow up." Avery's sleepy, chocolate brown eyes flicked up to mine, and she smiled impishly at me, drool dripping down her chin. I laughed and wished that my life could be as simple as hers.

Because I feel like I'm trapped. This isn't what I want for myself, and yet I'm stuck here because of my love for my daughter and my obligation to her and Edward. But do I really owe Edward anything? Yes, he takes care of me, but he doesn't have to. If I left, he would have it easier. He wouldn't have to fight with me and pay for my clothes and food and other things like that. Maybe if I left, he would have a real chance at life. He could fall in love with someone who loves him back, and who deserves his generosity and love.

I don't know. But I do know that I can't manage this life much longer.

….

Thanks to Twilight44 for pre-reading for me!

Okay, guys, you're going to have to brace yourselves for the next chapter. It's probably going to make you mad. You might want to punch someone. But remember…I love my HEA and I stick to it.

Please review!

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie