So…I'm back. And I've missed you guys. Thankfully I've got most of the piece I was working on done…I just need to work on some finishing touches and then get the seal of approval. Thanks for being patient with me, and thanks for continuing to trust me on the whole HEA thing. It'll happen, but it will take a little while for Edward and Bella to get things sorted out.

Keep believing in it!

And as always, a million thanks to Wendy for pre reading and keeping me on my toes.

…

BPOV

"Your father called."

I glanced up from my desk and looked at my mom, who was standing in the doorway of my room with her hands on her hips. "Yeah? Um…did you, like, tell him?" I asked, my voice cracking a little bit on the last word. "That I'm here, I mean?"

"Yes, I told him, and he's going to tell Edward." Renée said, and then came into my room and sat down on my bed. "Have you written that letter yet, honey?"

"No." I said, softly, looking away. "I started…but I can't make it sound right-"

"That's because what you did wasn't right, Bella." Renée said, and I looked up at her, hurt by her words. "It wasn't, honey. I understand, but I don't think you fully understand. She's your daughter, Bella. And while I'm not exactly the best example of a mother, everything I have done to you is for you. I know it may not seem that way, but it is. When you got pregnant, I knew that you were going to have to grow up, and fast. Now, I realize that making you leave was one of the worst things I could have done. And I'm sorry for that…I pushed you too hard to mature, and it obviously didn't work because as a result, you've hurt Edward and Avery and even yourself."

Renée stood up and walked over to me, kissing the top of my head. "Write the letter, Bella."

"Okay." I said softly, and then watched as Renée left the room and closed the door behind her.

I really had tried to write to Edward, but it was hard because I knew that what I had done to him and to Avery wasn't right. I knew that, and I was sick of Renée continuously reminding me off it. But this was for the best. They didn't need me, and they were both better off without me. I was scared of the relationship between Edward and I, because I had no idea of how to define it.

We had been exclusive, but we hadn't been a real couple. The label was confusing and hadn't really existed. He and I had a daughter together, but it wasn't something that either of us had wanted. In all reality, we had been forced together because it had been the right thing to do. I didn't know Edward's take on the situation, but I thought that we could at least have tried to raise Avery together.

But that all fell apart when I realized how incompetent and hopeless I was as a mother. Edward was a better parent.

And then I realized that I knew exactly what I had to write to Edward. I just had to tell him exactly how I had felt during the sixteen months that we had been together. And I had to tell him that I knew my decision wasn't fair, but that it had been necessary.

…

Dear Edward,

A part of me is sure that you're going to get this in the mail and crumple it up without even opening it. But another part says that you need an answer. And I know that you deserve one. I've been trying to justify leaving, but I can't entirely. I love Avery, and I care about you. But that wasn't enough, and if I hadn't left things would have fallen apart eventually.

You're a good person, unlike me. When I got pregnant, you stepped up and tried to make things right. You tried to provide for me and Avery, and I've done nothing for you in return. You're a good parent, so much better than me. You are so smart and capable and good, and I know that you can do so much better than me. You and Avery both deserve better than me. I tried, I really did. But it got to a point where I couldn't handle it anymore and I got scared and ran. It's wrong, I know that. I keep getting reminded of it.

Edward, I'm selfish and I want a life for myself. I want to be normal. And I know how awful that sounds- me leaving my daughter, who I love more than my own life, because I want to be normal. In the end, I think you'll realize that I'm holding both of you back because I simply cannot do this.

I understand if you hate me. Actually, I expect it. I'm going to miss you- both of you. But I have things to figure out. I have to grow up. And I have to let you hate me.

I am sorry, but this is something that I need to do.

Bella

…

It was short, but it got my point across. I gave it to Renée to put in the mail, and then I washed my hands of it.

…

EPOV

It had only been a week, but in some ways it felt like a million lifetimes had passed since Bella left. I've been busy during both the days and nights, but when I do get the time to sleep, I am painfully aware of her absence. When I'm busy with the routines of my day, it's easy to hate Bella because there is so much more for me to do, and I look at Avery and know that she deserves her mother, even if Bella doesn't think she's capable of that.

But at night, when I'm lying in bed trying to get some sleep, she consumes my thoughts. I hate her for leaving and it makes me angry to think about it, but I can't help but miss her in those moments.

The soft curve of her smile, the deep brown of her eyes, and the music of her laugh are all etched in my mind. The little things, the things I'd never expect to miss, are haunting my thoughts. The way she scrunches her nose after she sneezes, the way her hands feel, and the way she feels. Our relationship was extremely unconventional; indefinable. But it had been ours. Things may have been a little difficult, but I cared about Bella. And I had thought that she cared about me.

…

Alright guys…let me know how it's going. Next chapter, we'll see Alice's reaction through EPOV. And soon, Edward is going to get a blast from the past. But a good one, I promise. It is not James, although he may be making an itsy bitsy appearance in the future. Edward may have gone through rehab and has been sober, but remember that he'll always be a recovering addict, and it will always be hard on him to stay away from drugs. (But he won't be doing it again!)

Xoxo- Melodyella aka Mellie