Chapter 30

Getting to know Ben and One Fatal Word

Finals it 8 days. I think I'm gonna fail, every thing is screwed up at home everyone's fighting, all its wrong…and I'm severely deprived of sleep and over stressed…but I've kept u waiting for almost a month…so here it is plz review and give me ideas!!

"It seems abnormally quite." Ben remarked as they descended the stairs to the kitchen.

"That's 'cuz there are only like three of us. Instead of the normal 9." Kay answered.

"Yeah, and Sirius isn't here to fill the air with dumb comments" Rach added.

"Anyway, Ben, how've your classes been? Are you adjusting to the school ok?" Kay asked, eager to get to know him more.

"Yeah, I supposes, it's nothing like Durmstang though."

"Do you miss it?"

"The school. Not really. I miss my friends."

"Your parents?"

He Shrugged

"Not so much. They're pretty typical, I only saw them on holidays anyway."

"So you don't miss them."

"They're parents, distant, cold, but there." He shrugged.

"I'm sensing a topic change is in order." Rach said with a laugh.

He shrugged.

He shrugs a lot. Kay thought. And he doesn't want to talk about his parents...hmmmm…interesting.

They reached the painting that was the secret entrance to the kitchens. Ben tickled that pair.

"How do you know about that? It took me 'til 5th year to figure out what to do?" Kay asked surprised.

"The guys showed me."

"Oh. Yeah. They know the school inside out. It's almost scary. I don't think even the Head Master knows everything they do."

"They're smart." He said

"Yeah, but really mischievous"

Ben laughed.

Kay really liked his laugh. He had a low voice, and it sounded like a deep grumble within his chest.

"They're probably more mischievous than you know." He said with a smile.

"I think we know more than you do, we've known them seven years." Rach said.

"Ahh, but you have never lived with them have you?"

"Umm…not exactly…per say…but…but we still know them better." Kay said triumphantly.

He laughed.

They asked the house elves for their food and sat down at a little table in the corner.

"Are you laughing at me?" she said in a fake shocked and hurt voice.

He smiled. "Only a little bit."

Kay stuck her tongue out at him, but smiled.

He stuck his tongue out right back at her. And chuckled.

"You to better be careful" Rach said with a laugh "Keep sticking your tongues out so much, and they'll end up in each others mouths."

Kay blushed, but busied her self with food to cover it up.

If she was seeing things correctly, Ben cheeks had tinged pink, but it was hard to tell, because he was unnaturally focus and his sandwich.

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(Now back to Lily and James…Finally! I know, I've left you hanging long enough)

Lily was shocked.

She was beyond shocked.

So he had lied when he said their kiss meant nothing to him.

So he had loved her.

So he still loved her.

James was staring into her eyes.

Eyes which were down cast, a confused look that was upon her face.

He was trying to read her thoughts.

Wondering if she felt the same way.

After all, eyes are the window to the soul.

She hadn't spoken a word.

Second seemed to take forever to pass.

He lost track of time staring at her. Had minutes pasted, second, hours? He had no clue. He mind was racing with thoughts of what he had just said, yet it seemed eerily still.

The silence broke.

Yelling from out side.

They were pushed out of their own little world into reality. Into actual time.

James recognized the voice that shattered their stillness.

He looked at Lily; she raised her eye to meet his.

Eyes that were full of emotion; some good, some bad.

She opened her lips to speak. But closed them in silence. She looked away from him.

'Lizy.'

One word.

A single word that was just like his fourteen. Ground breaking. That one word from her lips closed their fate.

He sighed. 'Lizy.'

'You should go.' She whispered, still refusing to meet his eyes.

'I know.'

But he didn't move.

He started to get up and sat back down. He sighed. He had to know how she felt. He couldn't leave it like this. Did she love him? He wasn't sure if he wanted the answer. If it was no, he'd be crushed. If it was yes, it meant disaster.

'Lily.' Pause 'Please look at me.'

She turned her head to face him, but her eyes stared at the floor.

He chuckled. 'You're not looking at me.'

She glanced up for a brief moment; then looked away.

He sighed.

'I can't leave here not knowing how you feel.'

There was silence, the noise outside was gone.

Eventually she replied, in a pained voice she said 'It doesn't matter how I feel. You have her. Regardless of my feelings, you're with her.'

'Of course it matters.'

'No, it really doesn't. Despite any feelings of mine, you're with her. If I tell you I love you, it makes no difference.'

'It does. Lily, I love you. It's a simple as day. If you love me I want to be with you; I've always wanted to be with you.'

'We are star-crossed. When you loved me, I hated you. Now I love you, but you're with her…maybe it's just not meant to be.'

Her eyes were wet with tears, but she refused to let them fall.

'You love me? You love me. You love me!' He said it as if in shock.

And he couldn't help but smile.

His cute, dorky, cockeyed smile.

And he kissed her.

And she desperately wanted to kiss him back. But she turned away.

There was hurt in his eyes.

'Please go away.' She said on the verge of tears. 'You have a girlfriend, and I can't have you breaking my heart.'

He was speechless.

The moments passed, he didn't leave.

'Didn't you hear what I said?'

'Lily, I'll break it off with her. I'll do anything, please. Please don't tell me to leave.'

'I can't be the reason you dump her. You're in a committed relationship. Come talk to me if it doesn't work out, ok. But don't make me be the reason you break her heart, I don't want the on my conscience. And I don't want everyone to hate me 'cuz of it. I'd like to be alone right now, if you don't mind.'

'And if I do mind?'

'I'd still like to be alone.'

'I love you.'

Silence

'Lily?'

Silence

Now he felt like he would cry. He knew she felt the same way.

He sighed and slowly got up and left the Infirmary.

Glancing back to see her close the curtain on her bed, but not before a tear drop fell.

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I NEED IDEAS..FROM U…now click that little button and review! (HA! That rhymed)